Dat blonde chick
The day after, Dent was having a rather grownup yet immarture arguement with the Mayor about the city's upcoming 1000th aniversary festival.
"Look Dent,I don't give a damn how much in debt this festival is, I want beer, hotdogs, go-go-dancers the lot" the Mayor declared. Dent, who was joined by the slightly obese Commisioner Gordon declared slightly "look, alot of people might stay away, they are a bunch of chickens". The mayor wasn't relunctant to listen. "Look, you get that bastard, Grissom in that courthouse and the people will come to this festival even if I have to drag them there myself" and with that he walked off in victory.
Elsewhere in Gotham, Annoying Git, Knoxx was totering around the place that prints newspaper stories and was just being hiself.
"Welcome welcome Dracula" said one guy in a rather fake sounding transalvania accent to knoxx who promptly slapped him. "I'm not Dracula" he sobbed. "Yeah, but you've got an obsession with hunting down a giant bat with a personality" declared another guy. "Well, you can stick to your story about Aliens coming down to invade the earth" teased Knoxx laughing and walking off. He was just about to approach his work desk when he noticed a pair of rather attractive legs sprawled out across his desk.
"Woooooooh, there seems to be a pair of nice looking women's legs layed out on my desK" he said in a swooning tone . "I'm reading your stuff, it seems to be very interesting" came a female's voice that seemed to belong to the legs. "Wooooooooo, the legs speak" cheered Knoxx causing everyone in the room to give him odd stares.
"You were commenting about my attractive legs" said the female voice. Knoxx spun around and saw, sat on his chair with her legs still layed out across his desk was a blonde woman wearing a pair of glasses which looked like they belonged to Austin Powers or someone like that.
"You've got your beautiful legs still on my filthy desk. Wouldn't want them to get filthy now would we". The lady nodded nad removed her legs from the desk (ok, let's stop talking about the legs, from now on, the legs shall not be mentioned for the rest of the parody). "I'm Vicky Vale" she said, puting out her hand which Knoxx promptly shook. "Yeah I've heard about you, the photographer, the lady with the camera, the one who takes photo of stuff, the one who..."
"Shut up, you're bugging me" Vicky butted in. "Whatever, so, why are you here, planning on finding a sexy news reporter guy?" he asked with a wink. Vicky stares at him in an odd way. "No you doofus, I've come to see some of the wildlife in Gotham". Knoxx who was about to get down on one knee quickly jumped back up and asked "Like what?".
"Bats, I like bats" Vicky replied. "Who sent you, Bitch?" Knoxx demamded to know in a rather loud voice, causing poor Vicky to look startled. "No one, I loved your story on the giant bat" she replied. "Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggghhhhhhhhhht, so you going to that rich guy's party?" he asked. "You mean Bruce Wayne, will he be there?" she asked.
"I think so, only I'll never know because I didn't get invited" he said with a sniff. Vicky was rummaging through his paper and pulled out to invitations. "Who says you ain't invited". Cheering up, Knoxx grabbed the Invitation from her and kissed it. "Yes, I can finally meet Bruce Wayne, the richest guy in Gotham, oh Vicky I was wondering" he got down on one knee and pulled out a plastic ring that he had got out of the twenty pence machine that was situated outside Axis Chemicals(we'll get to that place later) and asked "will you be my wife?". Startled, Vikcy slapped him. "No you diff, I only go for attractive rich guys" and she walked off.
That nigh, in the lair of Mob leader and rather creepy, Carl Grissom,a bunch of gangsters were holding a meeting.
"If this Harvey Dent makes a connection with us and with Axis Chemicals what damage are we looking at" he said in a menacing tone. "Well if he finds out about us, we are dead and buried so we must move quickly" suggested an elderly gangsta with a walking stick and false teeth."Very well, let's ask Jack if he'll be in charge, Jack, hey Jack". Jack was sat in a comfy looking chair, playing on a portable pac-man game. This wasn't the only game that was situated in Grissom's office, varies arcade games from the eighites where situated in there including a pin-ball machine in the far corner."Jack, Jack" called Grissom as Jack became far too engrossed with the game. "No, Pac-man you idiot, eat that ghost, go on eat him for lunch muhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhaha, awwwwwwww crap it got me". Grissom was now waving his hand in front of Jack's face. "JAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK" he bellowed. Jack Snapped back into reality. "What, what's happened?" he asked.
"We need you to break into Axis Chemicals and get some very important files from the office?" he explained. "Moi?" asked Jack, pointing at hiself. At that Moment, Alicia came in carrying over a hundred shopping bags from all the shops in Gotham (wow, she must me loaded). Jack gave her wink and the "call me" sign as she walked off into the next room. "Ok gents, get your arses out of here now". The men stopped what they were doing and scarpered. Jack slipped the Pac-man game in his pocket and deck of cards under his Pimp's hat.
"Look, Carl. I think you should get someone else to do this. The fumes in that joint is woah" he explained. Carl sighed and walked up to Jack. "Jack stop being such a wimp, this job is very important to me, you are my number one guy and if you fail me, you won't be. Now get out there and make me proud" he said, givng Jack a slight push. "Ok, I'm going" and he walked out as Grissom made a secretive Phone-call. "Look, he's been sleeping with my wife, I want him dead" he shouted down the phone.