A hot date
The next day at Gotham globe, Knox was trying to figure out what happened to that Jack dude at Axis the night before. However he doubted that it could have been something to do with Batman because Knox assumed that he was in his secret bat-lair plotting to scare the living crap out of thugs.
"Look you prick, I don't believe that there is a bat that dumped this Jack dude into the acid. So what's your thought on the matter...SUICIDE". He had shouted so loud that the people in the office stopped what they were doing to see what the god-awful noise was and the author of this story slowly sunk into a pit of embarrassment.
"Look, would it be ok if I get this interesting conversation on tape, hello, hellooooooooooo,. Oh, the bastard's hung up on me" he turned to Vicky who was looking on a map to cover the Batman sightings in the past 24 hours and what a fantastic job she was doing."So, what have you covered, sweet cheeks". Vicky promptly slapped him for that. "Don't call me" she shrieked "as for that, I'm not helping you anymore today. You can do it on your own" and with that, she got up and began gathering her coat and hat.Knox, who had been deeply traumatized, grabbed her by the wrist and begged "let me make it up for you, I'll take you to lunch".Vicky pulled her arm away to show that she wasn't interested in an annoying person who dared to walk this planet.
"I've got a date, a hot date with Bruce Wayne" and she skipped merrily out of the office whilst whistling zipa dee doo da.
About a second later after th previous scene, Vicky and Bruce where sat in this big dining room which looked like a cross between Hogwart's (Harry Potter folks, the school from Harry potter) great hall and the cabinet room in Ten Downing street. Bruce had got a chinese take-away because he loves them (well, in this version anyways) and they were both digging into some chow-mein with chopsticks.
"How do you like it?" he asked from the other end of the very long table that they were sat at. "What, sex?" Vicky called from the other end of the very long table."No, How do you like the noodles?" he called again. "Oh, they're great, spicy. Pass me that jug of water, this is burning my mouth". She began gasping because the noodles where incredibly spicy. Bruce picked up the jug of water, gave it to Vicky and watched as she began drinking the whole lot fromt he jug, the water drippling un-noticably down her chin and onto her sweater.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, that's better. Now I need to use the loo, where is it?" she asked. "Right, you go up the stairs, follow the left corridor, pass the statue that looks like a deformed chicken/rabbit hybrid and the toilet should be situated on your right. And then we'll go and keep Alfred company becuase he's old and old people get lonely". Vicky nodded and went to the toilet.
After she finished, the two of them where in the kitchen with Alfred, who was telling the pair of them embarrassing stories from Bruce's childhood.
"I remember one year when Bruce was six, he wanted me to swing him round the gardens by his ankles". Vicky spit her wine out from giggling and Bruce was hiding his face in his hands from shame. "I said no but he was very persasive so I grabbed him by the ankles, swung him round at a speed of 50 miles per hour. However,he wanted to go faster so I highered it to 80 miles per hour and he ended up flying from my hands and landed in his mother's best Roses. Boy did she scream. Well that's enough stories, I'm of to get some sleep, this old codger's tired" and he left Vicky and Bruce in peace.
"He's really good at telling stories about you" she said, turning round to a red-faced Bruce. "Yeah, I wouldn't be able to find my socks if I didn't have him" he replied, drinking some more wine.
"You know what, shall we have a drink and then do something later" Vicky suggested. "Ok, that's cool" Replied Bruce.
Meanwhile, in a dingy looking plastic surgeons office, Jack (hey, he's alive) was sat in this really comfortable chair and he had about 20 layers of bandage covering his head that he looked liked an eygiptian Mummy.
"Ok, let's see the results" said the chubby plastic surgeon. "Hurry up Dr Frankenstien" Jack demanded as the surgeon slowly unravelled the bandage."Oh Bugger, let me do it slow-mow" and he pushed the surgeon out of the way and unravelled the bandage. When it came off, the surgeon gasped in horror and backed away for some reason.
"Well, let me see the results, pass the mirror Frankie". Covering his eyes, the surgeon picked up a nearby mirror and gave it to Jack. He looked in it and said "oh my god, what have you done to me?" he asked. "B-but, you see that I have crappy tools, that's the best I could do" he explained. Without warning, Jack broke into hysterical and rather disturbing laughter. "What's so funny?" the surgeon wondering as Jack, still laughing, raised the mirror and smashed it agaisnt the tool table.He got up, planted a big kiss on the shocked Surgeon's lips and walked out whilst still laughing like a maniac. "Well" said the Surgeon "that makes a change for a dollar".
Back at Bruce's house, he and Vicky where now walking up the stairs.
"I'm drunk" Vicky admitted "and I don't find you more attractive than you already are". Bruce went to say something but Vicky was now snogging his face off. He tried to pull away but eventually gave in and snogged her back.