The unexpected date

The Mayor of Gotham was still determined to have the festival and was pushing Harvey into finding out on what Joker was using to kill the people.

"Shut up you bastard, I'm trying to work on it if you stop getting in my face and breathing your onion and garlic breath all over me,you garlic eater" he snapped. The mayor started crying and ran out of the room. "That Harvey Dent is a two-faced bastard,one minute he's nice, the next he's an arsehole" the mayor wailed.

Elsewhere in the wonderful world of Gotham, Vicky had left Bruce a message on his answering machine in which Alfred took.

"Bruce, I tried calling you but I couldn't get through, I just wanted to say that I'll be ten minutes late coming to the musuem. I hope you bring your hot pants". After the message had finished playing, Alfred called Bruce to inform him.

"But Alfred, I'm not meeting her today" Bruce insisted. "Honestly sir, she said so, she told you to bring your hot pants" Alfred replied.

"But, I don't have any hot pants" the rich handsome guy said. Alfred farted. "Alfred, have you been at the baked beans again?" Bruce shouted.

"I'm afraid so sir" Alfred replied "I got hungry".

"Darnit" said Bruce "and that wast he last tin too".

Meanwhile, Joker was fooling around with ladies makeup. He was making his face look normal again because he was going into the public.

"Jaaaaaaaaaack, wheeeeeeeeereeeee are you gooooooooiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnng?" asked Alicia who had some porcilean mask over her face and in slow monotone.

"Just meeting some one baby, hahahahahahaha. Now make me a sandwich" Joker replied.

"Oooooooookaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy" Alicia replied.

Vicky had arrived at Gotham's art museum and was surprised to see that Bruce wasn't there.

"Can I get you anything?" the waiter asked. "Sure, a coke if you please my fine fellow" she said. A few minutes late he arrived with a can of cola and a small package.

"This just arrived for you" the waiter announced. Vicky took the parcel and saw a message written on it.

Put this on right now and you will not die.

A little nervous, she opened the package and took out an oxygen mask.

"What the...?" she muttered. Before she could say anymore, purple smoke that coming out of the air vents so she had to quickly put the mask to her face. She started breathing like Darth vader and the other people in the museum where dropping dead. A few seconds later, Joker and his homies came through the doors and saw all the dead bodies.

"Right guys, let's get wrecking this joint" the forever grinning fiend announced then turning to one of the homies "now where's the music". The homie then started fidling around with the ghetto blaster that he had bought with him and that point, they couldn't decide on which song to play.

"I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world" the blaster sang.

"No, not that one, anyone but that" Joker shrieked, placing his hands over his ears.

"I like big butts and I cannot lie" came the next song.

"No, I don't like that one either" Joker announce "try the next one".

"oompa loompa doopety doo".

"Oh for godsakes, I hate those little demons" he bellowed "go to next song"

About 20 more songs later.

Joker and his homies where now trashing the museum and acting like a bunch of deliquents and Vicky had witnessed it all.

"No bob, do not wreck this potrait" Joker said. He had just seen Bob about to slash a painting of Amy Winehouse swimming in skulls. "I like this one". He then turned around and saw Vicky sitting there watching him and breathing like Darth vader.

"Oh yeah" he said, slicking his hair back and walking towards the table.

"I think it's safe to take that off now" he said. "Are you sure?" came the muffled voice behind the mask.

"Oh yeah, go on it's safe now". Vicky took off the mask and threw it on the table.

"Is this your work?" Joker asked, looking through Vicky's portfolio without permission.

"Hey" Vicky shrieked " hands off ". But Joker was flicking through it at a rapid pace.

"crap, crap,crappy,ooooooooh,crap,know any words for double crap?". He flicked through it for ages until he found something interesting. A page on dead bodies.

"oh, now that's what I call good work" he giggled. "I think it's creepy" Vicky replied simply.

"Oh I don't think" Joker inisted then drinking Vicky's cola which annoyed her to hell.

"Don't you have any manners?" She asked. "Not really" Joker replied then burping.

"let me tell you what I want" he inisted going to sit next to her. "What do you want?" Vicky asked.

"I want my face on the one dollar bill" Joker replied.

"You must be joking" Vicky said.

"DO I LOOK LIKE I'M JOKING?" he bellowed so loudly that several cats in the alley behind the museum had stopped briefly what they were doing to see where that god awful noise was coming from.

"Sorry, but I'm going to show you something" he announced "Bob, get Alicia".

Suddenly, the Riddler appeared and started dancing around the table.

"Who's he?" Joker asked. "I don't know. He one of yours?" Vicky asked.

"I'm the Riddler" the Riddler said.

"What?" Vicky asked in confusion.

"Hang on a minute" Joker said "let me just check the script, I'm sure that the Riddler isn't in this one." He started flicking through the pages.

"Aha" he said "I knew it".

"What is it?" the Riddler asked "have I screwed up my lines?".

"Excuse me for a minute" Joker sighed as he got up and took the Riddler to one side.

"I'm sorry to say so, but you don't appear in this movie" he explained. The Riddler slapped his forehead.

"Ooops, wrong movie" and he went as quickly as he came.

Bob came back with Alicia who was still wearing the mask.

"Why is she wearing a mask?" Vicky asked. "She's going to show you right now. Alicia, take off your mask". Alicia sat in front of Vicky and removed her mask. One side of her face was fine but the other side was horribly scared making her look like a female version of future villain Two-face. This scared vicky that she got up to run but Joker went after her.

"What do you think?" he asked. Vicky got out a baseball bat and started swinging it at him.

"Stay away from me" she ordered. "Come on now, put the bat down" Joker said. He now had her backing up a staircase.

"I mean it, stay away from me" she ordered.

"Now now miss vale, let's not try anything silly now" he said.

"Go away, I mean it" she barked. "Come on miss vale, give me the bat,give me the bat". Suddenly, Batman came crashing through the roof.

"Here's the bat" he spoke in a low rasping voice.