Intruder at Vicky's

The next day, Vicky woke up in her own bedroom in her swanky penthouse apartment with a banging headache.

"Damn, this the worst hang over I've ever had, what did I do last night?" she wondered as she rolled onto her back and discovered her camera was missing.

"Damn, Batman stole my camera, hey I remember what happened last night". Just then, the phone rang and Vicky who was still lied on her back, reached to answer it.

"Hello?" she groaned. "Vicky, it's Knox, why arn't you at work?" Knox asked from the other end.

"I'm sick, I've got a headache" Vicky replied. "Should I come over?" he asked.

"No Allie it's alright. Oh Allie, if I bring something to you can we make the evening edition?" she asked.

"Is it hot?" he asked. "yeah it is, bye" and she slammed the reciver down.

"NO, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR VACUUMS, NOW STOP BOTHERING ME" Joker screamed down the phone as Bob entered.

"Hey boss, I think you should see this" he said, switching the tv on to the news.

"There has been some news that Batman has somehow cracked the Joker's posion code" the news reported announced. Joker spat his coffee out in anger.

"That big-assed freak" he declared, taking out a kick-ass machine gun and blasting the tv with ducked under the table as bits of glass flew everywhere.

Meanwhile, back in the batcave, Alfred was trying to convince Bruce to reveal his Batman identity to Vicky.

"She might scream or slap me" Bruce said. "Oh be a big man Bruce and tell her" Alfred advised. "Ok, don't be pushy" and he picked up his coat and left the house.

He arrived at Vicky's apartment and knocked on the door.

"Coming" came vicky's voice from inside. He waited and waited and waited and waited and waited until Vicky finally answered the door.

"You took your sweet time" he said.

"I was doing a world record, to be the slowest to answer a door" she replied. Bruce gave her an odd stare. "Okay. Can I come in?". Vicky didn't say anything this time and let him in.

"This place is nice" he said as he walked into her large apartment " loads of space. Look Vicky there's somethings I need to tell you". Without warning, Vicky turned around and bitch-slapped him( how dare she slap Batman)

"YOU LIAR" she screamed. "What are you talking about?" Bruce asked, rubbing his face."You said you was leaving town but I saw you on the day you were supposed to leave town" she barked, walking away from him. "Well, let me tell you why" he said as he chased after her.

"No, I don't want any excuses you jerk". Getting annoyed, Bruce pushed Vicky into an armchair. "Just shutup and let me explain. You know how someone has a different life, well that's what I have" he began.

"Oh my god, you're married, I can't believe I slept with a married man" she muttered."No, I'm not married" he announced "that's not it".

"Well, what is it then?" Vicky asked. "See the thing is i'm the..." he was cut off by a knock on the door. "Oh damn, I better answer that" she said getting up "if it's that darn vacuum's sale guy again I'm going to tell him where the shove it" and she did her record of being slow to answer a door again as Bruce practised his different ways of telling Vicky he is Batman.

She walked slowly to the door and opened it very very slowly.

"Heeeeeeeeeere's Joker" Joker screamed beofre walking in. "Hey, I didn't say you could come in" Vicky said but he had grabbed her by the wrist. "Now now, you shouldn't be rude to your guests now" he sneered before dragging her into the front room. Bruce had hidden in the bedroom.

"You should really get some manners you know" Vicky said as he roughly shoved her to one side. "Well, that's no way to treat a lady" she squeaked. Bruce was planning his entrance.

"You know Alicia?" Joker asked. Vicky nodded. "She's dead, she fell out the window, fifty floors down".

"Did she fall or was she pushed?" Vicky asked, not sure she believed him. Joker didn't say anything, instead he just laughed like a girl when Bruce made his entrance.

"Well, well who's the pretty boy?" Joker asked when he saw Bruce.

"That's Bruce" Vicky said.

"Wayne, Bruce Wayne" Bruce replied, walking towards the Villain.

" Ha, like your James bond impression Brucey but I've got some buisness to settle with Miss Vale" Joker replied, giving Vicky a wink but in response, she rolled her eyes.

"Look, just back off her and leave" Bruce ordered. Joker looked like he was about to say something but instead pulled out a pistol.

"Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" he asked, pointing the pistol at Bruce.

"ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT"Bruce snarled, whipping out a frying pan.

"What are you going to do with that?" Joker asked, inditcating the frying pan.

"Making bacon" Bruce replied. The others looked weirded out.

"You hungry or something?" Joker asked. "Yeah I am. Anybody else want some bacon?" Bruce asked. Everyone raised their hands. "Ok then, I'll make you all some bacon".

They all ate Bacon.

"So, where were we before you decided to cook some bacon?" Joker asked Bruce with a mouthful of bacon.

"I think it was something about dancing with the devil" Bruce replied. "Oh yeah" said Joker "have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?".

"What?" asked Bruce in a confused tone "Well, that's the sort of question I ask someone before I kill them" Joker replied before shooting old Brucey. Vicky screamed and threw her plate in the air. Bacon flew everywhere. Bob clasped his hand over Vicky's mouth to shut her up.

"Never rub another man's rhubarb" he said to Bruce then proceeded to drag Vicky out of the living room.

"I really think you should go to manner school" Vicky suggested. "Why?" Joker asked.

"Well, I don't think dragging a lady is a sign of good manners is it?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"Listen up, I'm the villain here and we don't have any good manners. Now, seeya" and with that, Joker skipped happily out the door. Vicky then went to check to see if Bruce was ok but he had vanished.

"What?" Vicky asked herself in confusion. She went to the place where he had fallen and found a silver tray with a bullet hole through it.

"Oh, he must have used the tray for protection" she muttered to herself then cleaned up all the bacon and bits of broken plate with a vacuum cleaner which broke down.

"Damit, guess I'll have to get a new vacuum cleaner. I'll see if that vacuums sale guy is still available".