The room was too dark. The sunlight barely shone, as if it was afraid to disturb something. The room was already very, very undisturbed. The hospital bed was occupied, in a private room that had been acquired after the first few months after they knew she wasn't going home anytime soon.
He placed the flowers on the nightstand, and lightly dusted off the top of the shelf. Particles of soot shot everywhere and he began to cough. "Happy anniversary," He muttered almost spitefully as he dropped the card he had taken so long to write on the table, where two more cards lay, each full of dust.
It had been five years ago today that he had finally mustered up the courage to ask her out, and three years that she had landed herself in St. Mungo's. And at first he told himself it wasn't his fault. That's what they told him, and he believed it for two years. But it was so obvious that he just wasn't enough for her.
And that's why it had happened. Slowly, in those three years the blame had gone from nobody, to him, and then to her, back to him, and then it didn't matter. Nothing did. All he felt was bitterness.
So why did he insist on buying her the flowers, and write those heartfelt cards every year?
Simple. If she ever woke up (which the healers had long deemed unlikely) she might want him, because he had stayed by her.
"Remus, come on. There's no use in staying," A voice said from behind him. He spun around to see two men, both tired looking.
"I know that," He replied shortly. Sirius Black, one Hogwarts stud, had a look of being worn down and unsure. Something that would never be used to describe him back in school. He took one look at the pale looking brunette laying in the bed, her eyelids shut for years now, and shook his head.
"Remus. You have better things than to be here-"
"Like what?" Remus said sharply as he turned to his friend.
"Sit in the study while I wait for an Order meeting? Avoid Frank? Or write some bloody letter that Holly's never even going to read? What better things does my life have in it, Sirius?"
James stepped up just then, looking behind the two men that stood in front of him.
"R-Remus, Holly's moving." Sirius and Remus spun around to see the young looking girl slowly waking up from her slumber, a three year slumber that was.
"Go get a nurse," Remus said tonelessly, and Sirius ran out the door, obliging. Holly looked around and picked up a hand. She looked around at the hospital and ran her fingers over her face. Her skin had a sickly tint to it, but other than that, it was still flawless. The one thing about Holly that actually was, Remus mused, as he continued to watch her. She finally noticed him, and her eyes filled with tears.
"I'm so sorry," She whispered, as if it was the most she could do. She remained silent and he wondered if she knew that he was angry with her. Of course he was. Look at what she had done to herself.
"Holly Longbottom!" Boomed the nurse, Remus had became acquainted with over the years. "Never in this world did I think- Oh well never mind. All that matters is you're up!"
"Wh-what do you mean?" Holly whispered. "Well dear you've been in a coma for three years today.
"I-is today December twenty third?" Asked Holly. Remus was secretly elated that she had remembered it was their anniversary.
"Yes, that's strange that you would know that…" Remarked the nurse, as she shoved a replacement IV into Holly's arm. Holly didn't flinch.
"I- I mean, it's just an important date." The nurse ignored her, and waved a wand over the girl. She looked from her, back to the wand and sighed.
"I'll just go discuss it with Healer Helena and then I'll confirm how long you'll have to stay here. This young man has been waiting for you." She looked towards Remus. James had left the room, Remus noticed. The nurse walked out the door and Remus slowly approached the bed. Holly looked down.
"How's my brother?" She asked looking down.
"Frank married Alice two months ago."
"And he didn't wait for me?" She shot, looking directly at Remus.
"You were asleep for three years, Holly! The world didn't bloody stop." She looked taken aback by his outburst. It was so unlike Remus. She looked down again.
"I know you're angry with me, Remus," She said quietly, her voice noticeably strained.
"But I-I can't explain why I did what I did."
I wasn't good enough for you to be happy,
"When I get out of here, where will I stay? Have you moved in with someone else? Does Frank still live at home?" Remus sighed.
"No, I haven't moved in with someone else. And no, Frank doesn't still live at home." Holly nodded.
"Has Alice or Frank come to see me?" He shook his head.
"Only Alice." Remus could tell the answer had bothered her greatly.
"He was busy," He offered, but it was no use. Holly nodded distantly.
"Three years?" She whispered to herself. Why did Remus still want to protect her, after she had left him?
"Y-you wanted to be gone for longer than that I suppose," Remus muttered, going to her bed stand and scooping up the letters, the ones in which he had poured his heart and soul. He hoped she wouldn't read them now. He didn't want her to know how much she had hurt him.
"Are those cards? Aren't they mine? And why have I only got three?" Holly croaked out, as best as she could in a slightly annoyed tone. Of course she had gotten more than three letters. She was Holly Longbottom for Merlin's sake! The girl that could charm anyone, and had charmed many in her years.
"So I'm twenty one now?" She whispered, not straining her voice at all. She knew Remus could hear her. Remus nodded.
"And you're twenty three?" A nod. Of course he was.
"H-how is my mum?" Her voice broke off.
Like she had ever cared about her mother before.
"As well as she can be, considering your last words."
"Don't you dare throw that in my face Remus Lupin!" She said, desperately trying to shout. "Don't you talk to me like that!"
Remus felt as though he was going to lose all control. The full moon was so near and his emotions could scarcely be held within him.
The room rang with silence. Holly recoiled and looked at her lap without saying a word. Remus sat down at the edge of the bed.
He was torn between anger and tears. The tears won without battle, and Remus felt a small familiar hand on his shoulder. It had been three years since he had felt her touch and memories began to flood back to him.
He breathed in sharply. The hand turned into an arm and Holly had wrapped herself around him, hugging him closely to herself. She began to cry into his shoulder. His own tears seized as he sat stiffly, and finally relaxed within her hold. He turned to face her and held her hands within his, breaking free from the hug.
He looked her straight in the eyes. Those eyes that held so much he couldn't recognize anymore. The hazel color reflected his own sickly looking reflection. It was Holly who finally spoke.
"It wasn't you," She whispered. "It wasn't you."
Remus thought but didn't say anything.
~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~* 5 Years Prior
The august air clung to his skin, making him perspire more than usual. He eyed the pool that occupied a good section of the Longbottom's yard. But he couldn't go swimming alone. Frank, James, Sirius and Gideon were occupied in a mock game of Quidditch and Peter was noisily eating some Cauldron Cakes.
He would just have to wait until someone wanted to go swimming. That way, they would be distracted and wouldn't have to see his scar baring skin uncovered and in a bathing suit. He sighed once again. A giggle was heard from the door and both Peter and Remus spun around. Frank's little sister and her best friend stood at the doorway.
Holly was trying, but miserably failing to balance a pitcher of lemonade on a tray long enough to bring it to the patio table. "Oy Frank! Mum says that you and your friends should start cooling down and getting ready for the party! And here's some lemonade. Merlin forbid "her Francis" catch a cold." Frank scowled and landed gracefully on the ground. As did Gideon, James and Sirius. Holly walked closer to Remus, along with Marlene McKinnon and sat down at the chair beside him.
"Lemonade?" Marlene asked and Remus took it gratefully.
"You look sweaty," Remarked Holly to Remus, who nodded, in the middle of inhaling his lemonade. Remus noticed Holly for the first time this summer. Her light brown hair was loose at her shoulders, freckles lined her button-like nose and her eyes were brighter than ever. She was wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a plain white t-shirt. And though he didn't say so, she looked a bit sweaty too.
Not that it made her look bad… Remus shook off the thought. After all, Holly was only fifteen, and the sister of Frank, who was known for being far too overprotective of her.
Marlene squished on the chair next to Holly, who scrunched up her nose and laughed at her friend.
"Ohh, Holly, here comes Sirius Black, your lover. Sleeping over, is he?" Marlene whispered loudly so Remus could hear.
Holly blushed and pushed her friend. "He is not my lover, besides, he never notices me. It doesn't matter that he's sleeping over."
"You're far to modest," Remarked Marlene, taking a sip of her drink. The remaining boys clambered noisily over and chugged down the lemonade. It would figure that Holly would like Sirius.
What girl didn't? None, it seemed. All hopes of swimming had been crushed, as Remus would have been mortified for Holly or Marlene to see him in his bathing suit. Sirius and James didn't seem to have such worries, though. Stripping off their t-shirts, they jumped into the massive pool and laughed loudly as they did so. Gideon followed suit, and soon Peter and Frank did as well.
"Are you going to go swimming, Hols?" Asked Marlene and Holly shook her head. "No, but you go ahead though. I think I'll stay here and hang out with Remus."
His heart skipped a beat. Why would she want to do that? A thought occurred to him that he had never heard her say his name-and how nice it sounded. He shook off the thought once again as Marlene took off her cover-up and dove head first into the pool. Holly turned to Remus and his breath sharply inhaled.
"Do you ever just want to…" Holly started and then broke off.
"Have I ever wanted to what?" Asked Remus a little too eagerly. She looked at him and smiled.
"I mean sometimes I just want to get out of here. Like my father did." She muttered the last sentence but Remus could here it clearly. Mr. Longbottom had left Frank's and Holly's mother when two years prior. Frank had been extremely angry and it had taken weeks for him to return to normal, and still he was never the same.
"What's wrong with here?" Asked Remus, taking a sip of his lemonade.
"It's just so..dull and dreary. My mother basically cries herself to sleep every night these days and it makes me think that maybe love isn't even real. Not like the kind of stuff you hear about in Witch Weekly. But maybe if I just got out of here, I could break free from the 'Longbottom Curse'."
"What's the 'Longbottom Curse'?" Asked Remus curiously. Holly smiled.
"Well it's a myth, really. But it says that 'The youngest of the family will bring heartbreak to the one that loves them the most'. It's a load of rubbish, but still. Look at what my dad did to my mum… Remus, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to burden you with my problems, it's just that Marlene doesn't understand and I don't know…you seem like the kind of person I could trust."
Remus felt oddly queasy. Why would she trust him? He didn't know what to say to that. What if she was waiting for an answer?
Daring to sneak a look at Holly, Remus was relieved to find she was now running her fingers over the satin tablecloth and not paying attention to him.
"My mum is completely insane. We spent a fortune on these tablecloths and now they're sitting on the patio table."
Remus nodded wearily. She still wasn't looking at him, and that was good.
"So Remus, how's Hogwarts for you?" She asked, turning to him abruptly.
"Well, I guess. I'm going into my seventh year in a month." Holly nodded.
"I know. Frank's excited. Don't tell any of your friends this, but ever since you guys started hanging out with him and Gideon he's been talking about how amazing his seventh year will be. Seems to think that you'll win him instant popularity."
"Me?" Asked Remus.
"Well you, James, Sirius and Peter." Remus nodded and took another sip of his lemonade. Why was he acting so nervous? He looked to Holly and saw her smiling as she watched Marlene splashing Frank.
"I think she fancies him," Holly commented to herself. And then she turned to Remus.
"And I don't fancy Sirius by the way. I think I have someone elsein mind." She smiled, got up from her chair and walked across the yard to the house.
And Holly Longbottom, being the kind of girl she was, turned to Remus once she got to the door, smiled again, and winked