Burning Bright
Part VI
Everything was on fire.
Zuko watched as the darkness started melting into orange flames, their heated tongues dangerously lashing out towards him. Zuko tried to step back but he discovered that he could not feel his arms and legs. He tried to scream but was wretched to discover that not a single sound escaped his mouth. Zuko panicked as the flames started enveloping him, invading his every senses; he felt the fire sting his eyes, the smoke fill his nose and the flames burn his tongue.
He needed water.
He desperately needed to do something to stop the fire.
Zuko groaned helplessly as he felt himself being roasted alive.
And the worst part was he could do nothing to stop it.
Zuko woke up with a start and was relieved to find himself back in his apartment. His vision was still blurry and everything looked like a kaleidoscope of colors. His throat felt dry and he was desperate for a drink of water. He craned his ear and waited for any signs that his uncle might be home. From his side, he could hear the sound of soft footsteps.
"Li!" a voice said.
Zuko turned to where he heard it and narrowed his eyes to get a closer look.
It was Jin.
Zuko was not sure how to feel about this. Mostly, he just felt glad that she holding a bucket of water in her hands. Partly, he was nervous of what she might think of him. He probably looked horrible. He didn't want her to see him like this. He didn't want her to see him in such a weak state.
"You're burning up. You have an intense fever," Jin worriedly said. She knelt down beside him and pressed a cloth over Zuko's brows.
Zuko tried to resist her help but found himself giving in after realizing how cool the cloth felt.
"Where's uncle?" He tried to make his voice sound stronger than he felt but it came out weak and feeble. Zuko cursed at himself.
"He went to the market to buy some herbs. Now….shh….you should relax," Jin murmured soothingly as she continued to dab the cloth over his forehead.
Zuko wondered how she got into the Upper Ring but he was too tired to think or to say anything more.
"This will help cool you down," Jin said as she soaked the cloth with water.
"So thirsty…." Zuko feebly said. He tried to sit up but Jin pushed him back down.
"Rest. Here's some clean water to drink," Jin said as she ladled water from the bucket. She patiently supported Zuko's shoulders while he drank.
Jin started rubbing circles into his shoulders.
"Stay under the blankets, and sweat this out," Jin ordered.
Zuko scowled, frustrated. Jin was giving him water in a manner that was much too slow. He snatched the ladle from Jin and drained it completely. He then tossed it away, turned and grabbed the bucket, pouring it down his throat and splashing his chest. He hurled it against a wall before settling back down, coughing.
The water quenched him and doused the fire that was burning in his throat.
But that was not the end of his dark, shadowy dreams.
He was on the Fire Lord's throne mat, precariously placed behind a screen of flames. Rows and rows of Fire Nation soldiers were bowing towards him. Zuko looked around, completely disoriented. He briefly touched his face and was shocked to feel that his scar was gone. He immediately felt serene. As he sat impassively, two sinuous dragons, one blue and one red, slithered down and coiled themselves around him, their nostrils procuring steady streams of smoke.
"It's getting late. Are you planning to retire soon, my Lord ?" the Blue Dragon said. Her voice sounded strangely like Azula's.
"I'm not tired," Zuko stubbornly said although his eyes felt heavy.
The Blue Dragon drew close to his face. "Relax, Fire Lord Zuko. Just let go, give into it. Shut your eyes for awhile," it hissed.
Suddenly the Red Dragon roared and insistently said in a voice that sounded like his uncle's, "No, Fire Lord Zuko! Do not listen to the Blue Dragon. You should get out of here right now. Go! Before it's too late!"
Suddenly, a great Green Dragon roared and came hurtling into his view. The Blue and Red Dragon were forced to part as the Green Dragon started coiling itself around Zuko. The Blue Dragon hissed menacingly while the Red Dragon looked pleased. The Green Dragon continued to coil itself around Zuko until it finally stopped. Its great big eyes looked into him and Zuko was suddenly reminded of Jin's wide hazel eyes.
"Are you tired my Lord?" it crooned. The Green Dragon's voice sounded remarkably like Jin's.
Zuko found himself telling the dragon the truth.
"Yes," he said.
"The fight it! Get out of here Fire Lord Zuko!" the Green Dragon roared.
The Blue Dragon hissed and suddenly all the dragons were locked into a deadly dance around him. The Red and Green Dragon began to thrust at the Blue Dragon but the Blue Dragon was too lithe.
"Do not worry my Lord! We will protect you!" the Red Dragon screamed as he tried to hit the Blue Dragon.
"Don't sleep, Fire Lord Zuko," the Green Dragon whispered into his ear as it narrowly escaped the Blue Dragon's wrath.
But Zuko couldn't help it. His eyes were too heavy. They felt like lead.
"Sleep, my Lord!"
"Don't do it Fire Lord Zuko!" the Red Dragon yelled. But Zuko wasn't listening anymore.
His eyes were already closed.
"Don't sleep Li!" the Green Dragon screamed.
Zuko's eyes snapped open and he suddenly felt wide awake. He looked around in horror. The pillars started to crumble and the soldiers turned to dust. The Blue Dragon was winning. Even the combined forces of the Red and Green Dragon could not hold the Blue dragon off.
"Leave now, my Lord!" the Green Dragon yelled.
"Leave now!" the Red Dragon echoed.
But he couldn't
He couldn't just leave the two of them to fend for themselves.
There was nothing more than a sea of darkness and a big, gaping hole opened up beneath him, swallowing him into oblivion. Two cruel golden eyes suddenly appeared in front of him. He slowly realized that it was the blue dragon.
It screamed in a rising voice, "Sleep, just Like MOTHER!"
It then swallowed him in darkness. He looked around, desperate to escape.
He stopped dead in his tracks.
It was his mother, her hood drawn all over her face.
Ursa called out to him plaintively, "Zuko, help me!"
But everything was crumbly.
Everything was falling apart.
Everything was fading into nothingness.
Zuko sat up on his futon, his breath labored and his face glistening with sweat. He looked around their apartment and was shocked to see that it was already night. He looked to his side and found his uncle pouring some tea on a stoneware cup.
"Uncle? What are you doing here? Where's Jin?" Zuko grumbled in a weak voice.
"It was getting late so she had to go," Iroh said.
"Ugh….my head," Zuko muttered as he rubbed his temples.
"You should know this is not a natural sickness. But that shouldn't stop you from enjoying tea," his uncle serenely said as he supported Zuko's head as he drank the tea.
In a groggy and disoriented voice Zuko asked, "What—what's happening?"
"Your critical decision, what you did beneath that lake…it was in such conflict with your image of yourself that you are now at war within your own mind and body," Iroh gravely told him as he helped Zuko take a second sip of his tea.
"What's that mean?" Zuko demanded as he collapsed into another fitful sleep filled with abysmal dreams.
"You're going through a metamorphosis, my nephew. It will not be a pleasant experience, but when you come out of it, you will be the beautiful Prince you were always meant to be," Iroh explained as he mopped Zuko's head with a damp cloth.
But Zuko was already fast asleep.
Zuko suddenly woke up in the middle of the night again. He rose wearily and he left his bed walking past his sleeping uncle. He slid open a door into a small washroom, and splashed water from a basin over his face. He looked up into the mirror. Something was terribly wrong… Zuko was horrified to see that his reflection mimicked that of the Avatar. He had no scar, he was completely bald and he sported a blue tattoo.
"Ahhhh!" Zuko yelled as he jolted back into wakefulness. His breathing was heavy and his eyes were wide. He hurriedly touched the left side of his face and was relieved to find that his scar was still there.
"Li?" a soft voice called out.
Zuko turned to his side and was slightly shocked to see Jin there.
"Jin?" he murmured. She was holding a steaming bowl of soup in her hands.
"Your uncle had to attend to the finishing details of your shop. He also said he'll stop by to get some more herbs," Jin said after seeing his bewildered expression. Despite feeling very crummy he couldn't stop the goofy grin that was slowly spreading across his face.
"I made this from scratch. I hope you'll like it. I'm not a very good cook," Jin informed him as he took the bowl from her hands.
"I'm sure that's not true," Zuko assured her as he took a sip from the bowl. He immediately winced after discovering that the soup was very thick and lumpy and it was an awful mixture of sour and salty. Burnt bits of potato were mixed into the soup. Zuko tried to keep himself from gagging and spitting it back out.
Jin frowned and said in a disappointed tone, "You hate it."
"Don't be stupid. I love it," Zuko said as he forced another spoonful into his mouth.
"Then why is your face all screwed up?" Jin demanded.
"You're imaging that. It's all in your head," Zuko argued as he shoved another spoonful into his mouth.
"It's all right. You can tell me that it's awful," Jin said in a resigned voice. She looked sad and disappointed.
Zuko wanted to just admit that he hated it but he disliked seeing the sad look on her face. He sighed and continued to force the awful soup down.
"It's really great. See? I'm almost done with my bowl," Zuko said through gritted teeth as he presented the bowl to Jin.
Jin wrinkled her nose and said in a teasing voice, "You are so terrible."
Zuko tried his best to diffuse the situation. Jin was looking more and more disappointed. His brain pounded harder as he tried to think of a situation where he won't hurt her feelings while not punishing himself with her awful soup at the same time. He wished that his uncle was here. He was good at stuff like this especially whenever he started spouting out proverbs. Zuko tried to think up of his own proverb.
"Our shortcomings are uh….what…..um….makes us…beautiful…in others….eyes and…um"
Jin exhaled loudly just as his uncle entered their apartment. Zuko sighed in relief as his uncle took a seat next to Jin. He was carrying a small pouch in his left hand.
"Well if it isn't my nephew! Li the Great Sleepyhead!" his uncle said laughing heartily. Jin laughed along with him.
Zuko scowled grumpily.
"I see Jin has given you her most…..er…..delectable potato and fish soup!" Iroh said after realizing that Zuko was holding a bowl of Jin's soup in his hands.
"There's fish in this?" Zuko asked in surprise as he examined the soup further.
"It's the little round things floating near the sides," Iroh informed him.
Zuko looked at the fish and was appalled to discover that it looked severely burned. If Zuko hadn't known, he might have thought that it was bits of ash that had clumped together.
"Oh."
"You two think that it's disgusting," Jin sighed dejectedly.
"No! It's great," Zuko said as he took another sip. He cringed involuntarily.
"I bought you some Valerian. It will make you sleep more peacefully," Iroh said as he procured a small white flower for Zuko to see. Zuko took one sniff of it and he immediately felt drowsy.
"Why do I need this?" Zuko demanded as his eyes started growing heavy.
"You were having a bit of…..a fitful sleep, nephew," Iroh said as he proceeded to grind the Valerian into a fine powder. He then started poured it into a steaming cup of hot water.
"You often tossed and turned in your sleep. Did I mention that you also talked in your sleep?" Jin snickered.
"What? What did you hear? Were you there when I said anything? Did I say anything weird?" Zuko said in flurry.
Jin burst out laughing and said in between her fits of giggles, "Nothing too embarrassing."
Zuko growled and looked away praying she hadn't heard anything too humiliating.
"Drink up nephew," Iroh said as he handed the cup to Zuko.
Zuko stared at it reluctantly and was conflicted on whether he should rink it or not. He always disliked any sort of medicine, even as a boy and he felt that it was really unnecessary. They were just dreams. They weren't anything too horrible. However, he did want to put a stop to all his weird and awful dreams. Perhaps this herb would really help.
Zuko drank everything in one gulp. He nearly spat the herb back out. It tasted even worse than Jin's soup.
The herb's effects immediately started kicking in. Zuko felt drowsier and drowsier and he was on his way back to slumber land. Jin left a few moments later, saying that she had to be back to the Lower Ring before evening. The two of them bid her goodbye as she left their apartment.
Zuko sighed before settling back into his futon. He wrinkled his nose at Jin's soup before shoving it in his uncle's hand.
"I see that she tried to feed you with her….soup," Iroh said as he drained all of its contents into the sink.
"I don't think that it is even edible," Zuko yawned as pulled the blanket over him.
"Sadly, her cooking is not as wonderful as her charming personality," Iroh said as he shook his head.
"I think my stomach feels weird," Zuko muttered as he started falling asleep.
"Of course it would. You nearly finished the whole bowl," Iroh chuckled.
"I had to. It would've hurt her feelings."
Iroh snickered and said, "She is already well aware how horrible her cooking is nephew. I'm sure she wouldn't be quite as offended as you imagined if you tell her."
After a few moments his uncle added, "I did not know that you are in this deep Prince Zuko."
"What! What are you talking about?" Zuko screeched as he sat up.
"You must really like her to be able to put up with her cooking."
Iroh couldn't help adding that comment for good measure.
Zuko gave a loud growl before falling back to sleep.
His uncle's amusement over his misery never seemed to end.
He was immersed in nothing but darkness. Zuko looked around and saw nothing but the dark, inky color. He started to walk forwards, his ear craned for any sound that might indicate any activity. He walked in the darkness for what seemed like the longest time when suddenly a great deafening crash echoed through the silence. Zuko whirled around and was shocked to see the three dragons again. They were all locked in a deadly dance with the Red and Green Dragon once again fighting against the Blue Dragon. The Blue Dragon seemed to be winning. It chuckled as the Green Dragon failed to hit it with its tail.
Zuko ran towards them. He wanted to help the Red and Green Dragon. He wanted to stop the Blue Dragon.
The Red Dragon gave a mighty roar before pummeling towards the Blue Dragon. The Blue Dragon merely snickered before lashing the Red Dragon out with its tail. The Blue Dragon's laugh rose as the Red Dragon fell to the sides, its great big head drooping in defeat.
"No!" Zuko yelled.
He stared at the Blue Dragon as it slithered its way towards the Green Dragon. Zuko tensed himself into a stance, just in case the Blue Dragon tries to pull anything against the Green the Dragon. The two dragons circled each other. It seemed as if they were both waiting for one of them to attack. It seemed as if the Green Dragon decided to attack first. It gave a low hiss before thrusting its tail towards the Blue Dragon. The Blue Dragon gave another mocking laugh as it dodged the Green Dragon's tail.
They continued to thrust and dodge at each other when the Blue Dragon gave a hiss before hitting the green Dragon on its head. Zuko watched in horror as the Green Dragon staggered. He was relieved however to find that the Green Dragon held its formidable stance.
But something about the way the Blue Dragon's eyes glinted made Zuko nervous. It was as if it was planning something else.
Suddenly it reared its head before spitting out a stream of bright blue fire towards the Green Dragon. Zuko could barely contain himself from panicking as the Green Dragon narrowly avoided the fire.
The Green Dragon whimpered as it examined its tail. It got burned. It seemed as if the Green Dragon could no longer move.
"Stop it!" Zuko yelled as he started firebending.
The Green Dragon was trapped. The Blue Dragon was about to shoot another stream of blue fire towards the Green Dragon.
Zuko firebent a series of fireballs towards the Blue Dragon in attempt to stop it.
But something was wrong….
The Blue Dragon was smiling and laughing as if it was…..it was its plan all along.
Just as the fireballs neared the Blue Dragon skidded away. Zuko yelled in horror as the fireball hit the Green Dragon consuming it in flames. Zuko couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand the wails and cries that escaped from the Green Dragon's mouth.
Suddenly the Blue Dragon slithered into view again. It whispered in Zuko's ear, "Thanks for the help Fire Lord Zuko…."
Zuko growled, spun around and tried to send a stream of fire towards it but the Blue Dragon dodged his attack once again. It slithered upwards and laughed loudly as the stream of flames hit the Red Dragon. The Red Dragon gave a weak groan.
"I didn't mean to…" Zuko said as he desperately tried to fix this.
He turned to face the Green Dragon and was sad to see that it was moaning and wailing in pain.
"I'm sorry!" he yelled desperately.
"Too late…." The voice of the Blue Dragon echoed around the darkness.
And just then, the whole place erupted into flames.
Zuko watched in panic as the Green Dragon and Red Dragon disappeared behind a curtain of flames. From above he could hear the cruel, mocking laugh of the Blue Dragon.
"Zuko! How could you betray me?" his uncle's voice echoed.
Zuko spun around and shocked to see his uncle's silhouette behind the curtain of flames.
"Uncle?" Zuko called out.
"You betrayed me, Prince Zuko. Even after all I've done for you. Even after I've stood by you when nobody did!" his uncle's voice screamed. Zuko watched in horror as Iroh's silhouette writhed and wriggled in pain.
"No! Uncle! I would never….could never betray you! It was an accident! I didn't mean for it to happen!" Zuko cried as he ran towards his uncle.
"Li!"
Zuko stopped in his tracks. That was Jin's voice.
He spun around and saw her silhouette. Her silhouette was also writhing in pain.
"You lied to me, Li!" Jin's voice said accusingly.
"I didn't mean to—I had to! You would've hated me if—''
"Traitor! You betrayed us all Zuko! I will never forgive you for what you have done!" Jin yelled.
Zuko ran towards her. He tried to keep the flames down.
"I would never do anything to hurt you," Zuko said a he tried to kill the flames with his firebending. However, no matter what he did the fire never died down.
"Liar! You are a liar and a traitor….just like your sister!" Jin's voice condemned.
"No! I am nothing like Azula!"
"Oh no?" the Blue Dragon's voice flitted into the air once again.
Zuko looked up.
He yelled at the Blue Dragon in anger, "Shut up! Shut up! Put this fire out now! Can't you see that you're hurting them?"
"What are you talking about Fire lord Zuko…." The Blue Dragon hissed as it coiled itself around Zuko's once again.
Zuko backed away.
In a menacing voice the Blue Dragon screamed, "You started this fire! It was you who burned them alive!"
"No!" Zuko yelled as the Blue Dragon swallowed him whole.
He was suddenly enveloped in voices. He heard voices everywhere. Voices that were all yelling at him
"Nephew, how could you do this to me?"
"Li! You lied to me!"
"Sleep, Fire Lord Zuko….."
"You have lost your way, nephew!"
"Li, I hate you!"
"Just close your eyes, Fire Lord Zuko…."
"Li!"
Zuko spun around to face Jin. She was staring at him with hollow eyes.
Suddenly she was enveloped in flames. She was on fire. She didn't scream or yell or writhe in pain.
Instead, she said in a pleading tone as she held her hand out, "Li! Help me…."
"Jin!" Zuko yelled as he jolted back into wakefulness.
His head pounded and he was perspiring at such a fast rate. His breathing was labored and his vision swam. He felt even sicker than before.
He felt someone rub his head in a soothing, circular motion.
"Shh…..it's all right….go back to sleep…"
"I will not sleep!" Zuko snapped. He will never give in to the Blue Dragon. He will never sleep.
He spun around and was embarrassed to find that it was Jin. Jin raised a brow at him.
"Nephew! That was very rude of you!" Iroh chastised. He turned around to look at his uncle.
"Uncle? Jin?"
"Hi, Li," Jin said good-naturedly, completely ignoring Zuko's previous outbursts.
"Jin! You're okay!' Zuko said in relief. He hugged her. Jin stared at him confused.
"Of course I am Li….I'm always okay," Jin smiled as Zuko continued to envelop her in a bone-crushing hug.
"And you too uncle! You're alive!" Zuko said happily as he also gave his uncle a hug.
Iroh and Jin looked at each other in utter confusion.
Zuko on the other hand never felt so happy. That dream was the worse one yet. He was glad that it was all just a dream and that none of it was real. He settled back into his futon and stared at the window. He was shocked to find that it was already morning.
"How long was I out?" Zuko asked as Jin sat next to him. Jin handed him a cup of cold water.
"Oh...your uncle told me you slept through yesterday all the way through the night. In fact, it's already midday," Jin said as she took the cup back.
"What!"
"I guess the Valerian didn't work. You still tossed and turned in your sleep," Jin said. She gently started rubbing his hair. Zuko closed his eyes and smiled. He liked the feeling of her hands running through his hair.
"Did I still talk in my sleep?" Zuko asked. He hoped he hadn't said anything too embarrassing.
"You kept on mumbling something. Truth to be told I couldn't understand most of what you were saying. However, towards lunchtime, you started yelling 'I'm sorry! I'm sorry!'" Jin said.
"Perhaps, I should find some other alternative. I know a great tea that gives me a warm feeling whenever I go to sleep," Iroh enthusiastically said.
Zuko scowled. Tea. Again.
"I don't want tea!" Zuko snapped.
"I hope you get better soon. Being sick has made you twice as grumpy as you normally would have been," Jin stated.
Zuko scowled and rolled his eyes.
"Here is some lunch nephew. As soon as you finished this you might have to take a dose of Fo-Ti. Your fever is getting worse," Iroh said as he handed a bowl to Zuko.
Zuko and Jin talked a bit more as he ate his lunch. Jin told him about how Ge Jiang earthbent a Middle Ring gentleman since the man wouldn't pay her brother properly. She told him about He Shen's new song and how he was currently obsessed with the Ruan. Jin told him more about the teashop. His uncle often chimed in to add a few more details. Jin told him how more and more people were moving into the Upper Ring.
"How do you do it?"
"Do what?" Jin said.
"Get into the Upper Ring quickly," Zuko continued.
Jin smiled and said in a mysterious voice, "Oh, I have my ways."
Zuko scoffed and decided not to push it. Zuko's head ached and he was sweating up a storm. He really wanted to lie down and go back to sleep but he also wanted to talk with Jin. They continued to talk about more ridiculous things. Although Zuko would never admit it, he was secretly afraid of his last nightmare. It seemed much too realistic.
"Jin," Zuko interrupted her story about Duan Jie's new blacksmith.
"Hm?"
Zuko squared his shoulders and looked at Jin evenly in the eye.
"You know that I would never do anything to hurt you right?" he said seriously. Jin looked at him, bewildered. She decided that he must still be half-delirious from his fever.
"Um…."
"You know that right? I would never hurt you or uncle?" Zuko said as he looked at his uncle.
Iroh stared at his nephew with a proud smile on his face.
"Of course, nephew," Iroh said as he bowed his head slightly.
"What's with you? When did you get so sentimental?" Jin said.
Zuko shrugged.
"Your fever damaged your brain a lot more than I thought," Jin snickered.
Zuko huffed but Jin knew that he wasn't really angry. As soon as Zuko finished his lunch, his uncle gave him the medicine. It tasted slightly better than the Valerian and it wasn't quite as bitter. Zuko continued to talk with Jin until he felt tired and drowsy. His head pounded and he ached to sleep. He tried to stay awake but his eyes won't let him. Jin assured him that it was okay. She helped Iroh set the Pai Sho board up as Zuko started falling back asleep.
"What was up with that?" Jin said as she looked at Zuko.
Iroh smiled serenely and said, "It means that my nephew has finally found peace within himself."
Zuko was in a world of fire. Wherever he turned, he saw nothing but great, big orange flames. Dark shadows and silhouettes moved about in the flames. Zuko felt disoriented and confused. He looked around, praying that the Blue Dragon was not there. Although he never admitted it to anyone, even to himself, the Blue Dragon gave him a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. It made him feel nervous and scared even when he knew that there was nothing to be really afraid of.
He stood there in stillness and silence when suddenly a great big shape loomed over him.
Zuko frowned and looked up. It was the shape of a dragon. He involuntarily shuddered.
It must be the Blue Dragon.
Zuko sprinted forwards. He wanted to run. He wanted to run away from the Blue Dragon and its cruel eyes and malicious voice. He didn't care where he ran. He just didn't want to face the Blue Dragon.
He stopped.
He heard something.
Zuko craned his ear to listen better.
It was the faint sound of someone crying and weeping. Zuko immediately felt drawn towards the sound. He moved backwards in attempt to find the source of the noise.
The crying grew louder and louder until it erupted in a scale so loud, it made Zuko's ear hurt.
Suddenly he saw the sinuous shadow of a dragon plummeting towards him. He stepped back desperate to avoid the Blue Dragon. The dragon slithered out of the darkness, its great big eyes staring at him squarely in his eye. Zuko was relieved to find that it was not the Blue Dragon but the Green Dragon. He smiled but then his grin immediately drooped. The Green Dragon looked very displeased. Smoke was spewing out of its nostrils and its eyes were filled with unimaginable hate.
"Traitor…." It hissed as it covered Zuko with a cloud of smoke.
The Green Dragon then rose upwards. Zuko wondered what he could have done to make the Green Dragon so angry.
Zuko then remembered that he burned the Green Dragon.
"I didn't mean to hurt you. It was an accident!" Zuko yelled after the Green Dragon. Zuko started to cough loudly as he inhaled some smoke.
The Green Dragon ignored what he said. Instead it spoke in a voice that was rising octaves higher with every word, "I gave you my trust. And you have violated it, by betraying me! By betraying Ba Sing Se! By betraying all of us!"
"I didn't mean to—It was an accident—The Blue Dragon tricked me!" Zuko helplessly said.
"Liar! You had a choice!" the Green Dragon roared. Its roar echoed throughout the place, making the ground where Zuko stood shake. Zuko tried to desperately maintain his balance.
Suddenly everything was still and silent once again. All the flames died down leaving Zuko in the middle of a sea of darkness once again.
From afar, Zuko could hear the faint sound of someone whimpering and weeping. Zuko spun around. He was desperate to get out of this place. It made his head ache and it also made his vision blurry.
"I am sorry!" Zuko called out to the Green Dragon.
The Green Dragon slithered above him.
"It's too late. You've hurt me!" the Green Dragon said. Its voice was choked with sadness.
"But I didn't mean to. I would never do anything to hurt or betray you."
"But you have hurt me. You have betrayed me!"
"You don't understand! I was blinded by the Blue dragon! She tricked me!"
"You are making excuses for your actions! You are responsible for what you have done!"
"But I did not want that to happen!"
"But still you allowed it to!"
And with that the Green Dragon started to cry. Big, giant drops of tears fell down on Zuko face. Soon, tears started to immerse Zuko in a flood of water that reached all the way to his hip. The water of tears started to rise higher and higher until Zuko could barely breathe.
In a great sad voice, the Green Dragon said, "I can't believe that you have done this to me, Li."
Zuko couldn't stop himself from giving a bitter cry as he drowned in the Green Dragon's tears.
"Li! Li! Wake up!" Jin screeched as she tried to shake him back into wakefulness.
Iroh watched with worry as Zuko started to sweat and as his face melded into an unreadable expression. They were just in the middle of their Pai Sho game when Zuko started screaming and tossing and turning in his sleep. Iroh at first instructed Jin not to mind him. So far, his sleep was often ridden with nightmares since his sickness. It would soon pass. However, Zuko's voice sounded more and more frantic and his face looked so agitated that Jin immediately scrambled towards him in an effort to wake him up.
"Li!" Jin yelled as Zuko finally opened his eyes.
Zuko looked at Jin feebly in the eye and said in a weak voice, "I am sorry."
"Shh…..it's all right. You were having a nightmare. Go back to sleep," Jin soothingly murmured into his ear as she hugged him.
"I am sorry," Zuko repeated.
And with that he closed his eyes and fell back to sleep.
He was sitting on the fire Lord's throne mat once again. Rows and rows of soldiers were bowing towards him while great, big pillars stood at each of his side. Zuko looked around in fear. He hoped that he would never see the three dragons again. They all made his head ache with their never ending voices of accusations and pleadings and commands. Zuko rubbed his temple as the soldiers started to chant his name. They all said in a mechanical voice, "Hail! Fire Lord Zuko! Hail! Fire lord Zuko!"
"This is what you have always wanted, right, my Lord?"
Zuko scowled as the Blue Dragon slithered into his view. It started to coil itself around one of the pillars before prodding its head towards his ear.
"It's great isn't it? The feeling of having so much power?" the Blue Dragon hissed into his ear. It then uncoiled itself from the pillar and it started to move above Zuko's head.
"I won't listen to you. You are a liar. You are cruel and manipulative. You tricked me into hurting the Green and Red Dragon," Zuko said as he determinedly tried to block the Blue Dragon's voice from his head.
"But I had your best intentions at heart, Fire Lord Zuko. They were both weaklings….they held you back," the Blue Dragon murmured.
"What if I wanted to be held back? You have no right to decide for me!" Zuko yelled.
The Blue Dragon whimpered and said in a patronizing tone, "Forgive me, Fire lord Zuko. I am your humble servant."
"Silence! You have caused great damage by turning the Green and Red Dragon against me!" Zuko snapped.
The Blue Dragon looked incensed. It gave a mighty roar before shouting, "Such lies! It was you who had turned the Red and Green Dragon against you! It was you who burned both of them! It was you who shot them into flames! I had nothing to do with this! It was all your fault!"
"Stop it!" Zuko yelled. He closed his eyes and tried to block out the Blue Dragon's loud screams.
Zuko opened his eyes and was relieved to see that the Blue Dragon no longer looked angry. Instead it started bowing at his feet and it said, "Forgive me for my outburst. Stay here my lord. Your country needs you….."
"No!" a great big voice said. Zuko turned to find the Red Dragon propelling towards him. The Blue Dragon hissed as the Red Dragon bowed at Zuko's feet and said in a firm tone, "Do not listen to the Blue Dragon, my Lord. She is trying to trap you with a destiny that is not yours! You must follow your own path. You must follow me."
"Don't listen to him, my Lord! The Red Dragon is a traitor!"
"The Blue Dragon is not loyal to you my Lord! It only wishes to gain power through you!"
"Stay here Fire lord Zuko…..stay here where you belong," the Blue Dragon purred.
"No! Come with me! Come with me to your destiny!" the Red Dragon said.
"No! Your destiny lies here! You belong here! As the great ruler of the Fire Nation!"
"That is not your true destiny—''
"And you believe this fool? I have done exactly what you wanted me to do! I have given you what you wanted! I have given you your throne, your home and your honor!"
Zuko turned to look at the Blue Dragon. What it had said made more sense than what the Red Dragon said…..However, he still felt as if it was very wrong to betray the Red Dragon.
"Fire Lord, Zuko! Do not listen to the Blue Dragon! Remember, it always lies!"
"Lies? How can they be lies? I have given what he wanted!" the Blue Dragon roared as he laughed maliciously.
"No! You belong with your destiny! Let's get out of here, fast!"
"Stay here! Where your homeland and people are!"
Zuko's head ached from all the voices. He covered his ears in attempt to stop everything. His head felt dull and heavy and he wished that both of them would just stop. They were all forcing him with all these decisions. And what they both offered him were things he wanted. Zuko groaned.
"Or you could come with me," a soft voice whispered in his ear.
Zuko looked at his side to find the Green Dragon. He felt relieved to find that it no longer looked at him with a murderous glare. Instead, it was looking at Zuko in a soft and gentle manner, its great big body placidly coiling itself around his own.
"You could come with me…..and you would never have to be bothered by any other decisions. You could come with me….and forget everything…." The Green Dragon crooned. Its voice made Zuko feel sleepy and he found himself slowly dulling into slumber. Beside him, the two dragons began to hiss edgily.
"But what about my destiny?" Zuko said as he finally forced himself to say something.
The Red Dragon nodded eagerly.
"Have you ever thought that your destiny might lie within me? Have you ever thought that your destiny might be to settle down, have a normal life, be with someone you love…" the Green Dragon purred as it faced Zuko. Images started flashing in its big hazel eyes. The teashop, a new apartment and…Zuko gulped. The very last image that flashed into the dragon's eye was….Jin. She was staring at him with a big and happy smile on his face.
"Perhaps that is what you want…but that is not your destiny!" the Red Dragon said as it blew a stream of smoke towards the Green Dragon. The Green Dragon hissed.
Zuko looked away from the Red Dragon and faced the Green Dragon once again. He said in a reluctant voice, "A part of me wants that. But what about my throne? My country? My honor?"
The Green Dragon roared and shook its head, "But what about peace? Does your throne, your country, your honor give you peace?"
"It gives you power! It gives you what you have always wanted!" the Blue Dragon desperately screeched.
Zuko's head ached as the three dragons started closing in on him. Each of them were hissing and whispering and his ears pounded from all the noise. He wanted to be free from all of this. He wanted to be free from all these decisions. Zuko edge back but panicked as he discovered that the throne mat was hanging precariously on a precipice. One more move and he would fall.
"Stay here, Fire Lord Zuko. Stay with your country…." The Blue Dragon hissed.
"Come with me Fire Lord Zuko! Come with me to your destiny!" The Red Dragon said.
"Come with me! Come with me to live a life of peace and tranquility!" The Green Dragon purred.
"NO! Stop it! ALL OF YOU!" Zuko yelled as moved backwards.
He didn't care what would happen to him if he fell.
He just wanted to get away.
"Fire Lord Zuko, stay here. I have everything you have always wanted…."
"But I have your destiny! Didn't you always want your destiny?"
"I have a life of happiness and peace! Do you also not want them?"
Zuko fell into the darkness as the loud voices and whispers continued to plague him.
Zuko forced his eyes open as a stream of light flooded his vision momentarily. He looked around and was relieved to see that he was back in his apartment. That was his worst nightmare yet and it seemed as if nothing his uncle gave him eased all his horrid dreams. Also, as his nightmares grew worse, so did his fever. Zuko was breathing in a very shallow way and his body was covered with a thick layer of sweat. His head felt woozy.
"Are you sure you're allowed to do that?" he heard Jin say.
Zuko turned to his left to find his uncle and Jin playing Pai Sho. It seemed as if they did not notice that he was already awake. Jin was frowning at the Pai Sho board while his uncle was grinning like a hyena-monkey.
"Yes. If the tide turns um….left then the…..lily tile can move…..three places up," Iroh awkwardly explained.
"I've never heard of that rule in Pai Sho."
"You are still young. I don't expect you to fully understand all the rules of Pai Sho," Iroh wisely said.
Zuko rolled his eyes. He suspected that Iroh was losing once again and he was making up new rules to keep Jin from winning.
"Ah, nephew! I see that you have awakened!" Iroh suddenly said interrupting whatever Jin was about to say next.
"Li? You look awful….you're so….sweaty," Jin frowned.
"Ugh…..my head! None of herbs you gave me worked!" Zuko spat as he gave a hard cough.
"Your fever has gone down last night. I think it will take only a few more days before you completely sweat it out."
"Last….night?" Zuko said. He was having trouble focusing. His head ached.
"You slept through the day and night again. You only woke up briefly before falling back to sleep," Iroh informed him.
"Just rest. Your uncle is grinding some Fo-Ti up now," Jin said as she knelt down beside him.
Zuko forced a smile out. He really did not want her to see him in this state. He tried to brush off the fact that his head was pounding and that his body felt as if it was on fire. In a strained voice he murmured, "How's your brothers? Ge Jiang still giving you a hard time?"
"Actually…." Jin frowned and she hesitated.
"What?"
"Actually….something's really wrong," Jin admitted.
"What made you say that?" Zuko asked.
"More people from the Dai Li are showing up near our apartment. It's as if they know," Jin said.
"Know what?"
"You know, know," Jin meaningfully said.
"Oh." Zuko realized that she was talking about her earthbending.
"What happened? How did they find out?" Zuko demanded.
"I'm not sure. My brothers wouldn't tell me but I have a hunch that it must've been He shen's fault."
"What made you say that?"
"Ge Jiang is being twice the jerk towards He Shen."
"Poor Shen…."
"Yeah….I haven't earthbent in a week," Jin said. She looked frustrated.
"I'm sure it will pass," Zuko said as he tried to re-assure her.
"What makes you so sure?"
"My uncle and I had a run-in with the Dai Li too," Zuko said. Jin smiled at him.
His uncle started ambling towards them. He handed Zuko another cup of medicine. Zuko scowled and downed it within a second. Jin and Iroh resumed back to their Pai Sho game while Zuko forced the sunlight out with his blanket. His head ached.
He slowly started wafting back to sleep as he heard his uncle and Jin talk about Pai Sho once again.
"What do you mean that it's not valid?"
"That is because the hyacinth is at an equinox…"
He was in the room filled with darkness again. Zuko groaned as he heard the sound of the three dragons slithering about. He hated them. All three of them. They made his head ache and pound. He started to walk forward when three items suddenly appeared in front of him. They were a teacup, the Fire Lord's headpiece and the Avatar's staff. Zuko fingered each one of them with curiosity.
Suddenly a dragon slithered past him.
It was the Blue Dragon.
"Would you like to put your headpiece on Fire lord Zuko?" it hissed as it grabbed the headpiece with its tail.
Zuko wanted to say 'yes' but felt as if something was wrong…
"Maybe later…." Zuko murmured.
"Perhaps the Fire Lord would like to carry his staff?'' the Red Dragon said as it flew past him and grabbed the staff with its teeth.
"I don't really need a staff…." Zuko said as he backed away.
"No, what he needs is a cup of tea," the Green Dragon said as it slithered past the two dragons to grab the teacup with its tail.
"I'm not thirsty…." Zuko haplessly replied.
"Don't be stupid. You know you love tea," the Green Dragon purred.
"But he has to put this on first," the Blue Dragon said as it tried to push past the Green dragon.
"But not before taking his staff," the Red Dragon said.
The three dragons cornered him until he was backed against a wall.
"Stop it! Leave me alone! I want to get out of here!" Zuko snapped.
"If you want to leave you have to choose something," the Red Dragon hissed.
"But I can't…." Zuko frowned.
"Then you can't leave!" the Blue Dragon roared.
"Leave me alone!" Zuko screeched.
"Have a cup of tea Prince Zuko….."
"Put your headpiece on fire Lord Zuko…."
"Don't forget your staff Prince Zuko…."
Zuko covered his ears but that did not block the sound of their voices.
"Your headpiece fire lord Zuko…."
"Drink some tea first….."
"Your staff….."
"Ugh!" Zuko yelled.
The Blue Dragon suddenly shoved the headpiece up his nose.
"This holds everything you ever wanted. This holds the key to your honor, your throne and your home!" it murmured.
The Green Dragon pushed the Blue Dragon away and waved the cup of tea in front of Zuko.
"But this holds the key to tranquility and freedom…."
The Red Dragon hissed and showed the staff to Zuko, "This holds the key to your destiny…."
Zuko let out a painful growl.
He had to choose one.
That's all he needed to do to leave this place right?
Right?
"Leave me and I will choose!' he yelled.
The three dragons bowed and set the items on floor before flying away. The Blue Dragon hung back however and whispered in his ear, "If you choose the headpiece, you will get your father's love back."
Zuko scowled in frustration as he knelt down and examined all three items. He started to understand what they all meant, what the dragons all wanted for him…
The headpiece was pretty obvious. If he picked it, he would get his throne, his honor and his country back. But did he really want all those? Zuko started to feel confused. It would also mean he would get his father's love back.
The staff was his destiny. But that was the most confusing bit. How was the Avatar's staff part of his destiny? The avatar was his enemy. What was the Red Dragon truly promising him if he picked it?
And the teacup…..while the meaning was very obvious it was also puzzling. If he picked the teacup, it would mean having a peaceful life here in Ba Sing Se. He wouldn't have to worry about the war, about his destiny—he could be Li once again.
Zuko thought long and hard.
Finally, he called all three dragons.
"I have made my choice," Zuko declared.
The three dragons nodded eagerly.
Zuko procured the teacup and showed it to the three dragons.
The Red Dragon yelled in frustration while the Green Dragon gave a gleeful roar. It coiled itself around Zuko in happiness. It hissed in his ear, "Thank you my Lord….."
The Blue Dragon, strangely enough, looked content. It was smiling maliciously.
That smile made Zuko nervous.
He knew that smile.
It meant that the Blue Dragon had gotten what it wanted after all.
Zuko guiltily looked at the Green Dragon.
The Blue Dragon did get what it wanted.
Hiding beneath the folds of Zuko's sleeve was the Fire Lord's headpiece.
Zuko's having inner turmoil again…..
I know that this update is pretty short. Once again I tampered some of the original conversations. I had to re-watch the episode "The Earth King" to get it down.
Thanks to those who read this story and added this story to their Favorites.
Special thanks to SkorpionQueen012 for reviewing in every single chapter. You are awesome.
Thanks also to ArrayePL for sending the reviews and comments.
Thanks to Marina Hawk for the review. It made my day.
Oh and P.S: Don't expect me to update fast. It usually takes me more than a week before I could update another chapter.
Please send review and comments.