A/N I own nothing, all characters belong to DC and Warner Bros.

Reviewers, how I love you so...

Ollie put his hand on the counter and sighed as the dial-tone rang in his ears. Was this really the smartest move? He hadn't spoken to his adopted son in quite some time and the last time they'd tried to have a conversation it had ended in Roy shouting to him that he didn't need anyone but himself as he yanked Lian's car seat out of Ollie's hands and sped off angrily into the dark, Lian looking out the window in confusion as she waved goodbye.

No, he had to do this. Aside from the fact he hadn't seen his granddaughter in almost a year, he wanted Roy to be there on his wedding day. After everything the two had gone through Ollie wanted to make it right. Roy was his son, even if he didn't have his DNA.

"Hello?"

"Roy? It's Ollie."

A groan was heard in the background followed by gentle swearing under the former Speedy's breath, "What do you want?"

"Can't a father call up his son to chat about nothing?"

"I guess a father could, but you're not my father."

Ouch. Maybe he should've let Dinah do this like she wanted. Roy seemed to get along with her better anyways. Why hadn't he listened to her? "Fair enough. So, got a new girlfriend yet?"

"No, but the only female I really need in my life is Lian." Roy replied sharply to make it clear he didn't miss the thrill of being with someone.

"She's a cute little kid, Lian." Ollie admitted, "...But sex has gotta be something you'd miss, and I know you never fail to charm the pants off an attractive woman. If I taught you anything, I taught you how to get laid."

"...My neighbor is this insanely hot little blond with incredible tits. Nothing like Diana's of course, but I swear that might be better than Dinah's." A pause, "Are Dinah's real?"

"Yes, yes they are." Ollie said proudly, "So what about this sexy neighbor of yours?"

"I'm doing a lot of waiting with this one, Ollie. We've gone out twice and I still haven't slept with her."

"Twice?" Ollie gaped, "Why the hell not?"

"Donna said that since I'm a dad now I apparently have to be careful with that stuff. Supposedly my subconscious is making me look for a woman because I think Lian needs a mother."

"Do you really believe that psychological bullshit?"

"Hell no! I think I'm just horny." Roy snorted, "Another wonderful trait I 'inherited' from you."

"Don't forget the Queen charm."

Suddenly it was as though a vacuum had come and sucked the friendliness out of their conversation. The next time Roy spoke it was in a slightly more critical and harsh tone, "So what's the real reason you called me up, Daddy-dearest? Did you screw over yet another woman for nine months?"

Arrow chose not to make a snide comment about the lack of faith his son had in him and his ability to use a condom. Doing so would do nothing but turn the conversation into yet another heated argument. "Dinah and I are getting married."

"...You're funny, Ollie, really funny." Roy growled, "Thanks for crank calling me just to yank my chain. I really appreciate it, you ass. How stupid do you think I am? I've known you for years, Ollie! No way in hell are you ever going to get married; you like sex to damn much!"

"Hey, watch the mouth." Ollie frowned, "And I don't appreciate your attitude, mister."

"Well I don't appreciate you calling me up to screw with me, old man!"

"Damn it Roy, I'm not screwing with you! Dinah and I are really getting married!" Ollie snapped, "I asked her a few weeks ago and she said yes. You don't believe me? Go call up Dinah, Ted, Wally, hell even Bruce Wayne! Just get it through your thick skull!"

"...Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack."

"...How far along is she?"

"Excuse me?"

"How long has Dinah been pregnant?" Roy repeated, "You know I always did find it a little strange that you never knocked her up. I mean you always manage to fuck up every other girl you come in contact except the one you bang almost every other night. I kinda just assumed Dinah was infertile."

"Dinah is not pregnant!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure!"

"Then why are you marrying her?"

"Because...Because..." It was the question that everyone had been asking. What could possibly make the notorious womanizer that was Oliver Queen want to get married? The answer was simple: He loved Dinah and didn't want to lose her. While he loved sex, he also loved the beautiful martial artist. Now if it came down to a choice between being married to Dinah with no sex and being able to have as much as he wanted, Ollie probably would have gone with the latter. But being married to Dinah and thus making sure no other man did what he did to her while being able to have incredible sex with her was far more appealing. There were a few other reasons as well, but that was the main gist.

Not that he could tell Roy that. He had a reputation he needed to uphold.

"Helllooo? Mr. Blond Dumb and Slutty?"

"Calling me dumb because I'm blond makes you guilty of being stereotypical, kid." Ollie frowned, "You don't see me saying you don't have a soul because your hair's kind of red."

"I'm not a soulless ginger; I'm a moral-lacking brunette with hair that sometimes looks orange." Roy shot back, "You didn't answer my question, old man. Why are you two getting married?"

"There are a couple of reasons, but mainly because I'm at a point in my life where I want a little stability." The Emerald Archer explained with a sigh, "I love Dinah, and I know I've made a lot of mistakes since we've been together but she still stuck with me. I feel like I owe her this."

"...Because you got her pregnant?"

"I DID NOT GET DINAH PREGNANT!" Ollie exploded, his face turning an unflattering shade of red, "How many times do I have to tell you! Is it really so hard to believe that maybe I want to get married?"

"Yes."

"And why is that?"

"Because no sane man willing chooses to stick with one chick when he has hundreds of them itching to bed him." Roy replied instantly, "What happened to the womanizing billionaire playboy who I came to know and resent?"

He got old. Ollie thought to himself before mentally adding, Older, I mean. I still got a few good years left in me. "He went crazy and killed his smartass son because he kept accusing him of knocking up his fiancé."

"That's not a very nice ending."

"That's life."

"So you called me to invite me to your wedding? Aw jeez Ollie, I don't know." Roy said uncertainly, "I got a lot on my plate right now. Lian just started school, like I said earlier I'm trying to take my time before I bang the neighbor, I gotta go to Wally's house this week so he can introduce me to his new girlfriend Linda, then of course there's my job and-"

"The wedding's in a few months, Roy. You'll have time to plan for everything." Arrow assured him, "Besides, I want you to be my best man."

"...Really? Roy asked in slight disbelief, "Why not Bruce?"

"I didn't raise that crotchety old man as my own son." Oliver smirked, "Look, Dinah already picked Helena as her bridesmaid. I need you to do this, alright?"

"If Helen's going to be the bridesmaid then why can't Question just be the best man?"

"Do you honestly want me to list everything wrong with that scenario?"

"True." Roy conceded, "But I mean..."

Ollie decided it was time to pull out the big guns. "Dinah agrees with me, you know. She said having someone she thinks of as her own son at our wedding would be perfect."

It was no secret that while Roy was hardly Ollie's biggest fan he absolutely loved Dinah. With that particular tidbit of information in mind it didn't really surprise Ollie to much when Roy asked, "...She really said that?"

"Of course she did; Dinah thinks you're pretty damn great for some reason. It must be a little bit of me rubbing off on you."

"Well if you're sure you really want me to go and be the best man then I guess I really can't say no." Roy conceded, "Is Ted going to be there, too?"

"You bet your best arrow he will be. Dinah would kill the both of us if he didn't come, you know."

"Alright, I'll go." He agreed, "It was nice talking to y-LIAN! PUT THAT ARROW DOWN NOW! How many times have I told you we don't play with Daddy's saw-arrows?"

"Kids." Ollie chuckled to himself as he hung up the phone. It looked like today was going to be a particularly pleasant day for Oliver Queen.

"So did you hear the news about Dinah and Ollie?"

John Stewart, better known to the world as the current Green Lantern, looked up at the beautiful woman in front of him. Frowning in slight puzzlement he replied, "No, I can't say I have. I've been on an off-world mission for the past few weeks. Why, did he cheat on her again?"

"No, they're actually getting married."

Mari McCabe, super model by day and female angel of vengeance done in the finest fashions as Vixen by night, smirked at her boyfriend's puzzled face. For the most part John was fairly smart, but when it came to common sense he tended to lack it immensely. Though to be honest all men did when it came to matters such as these.

"Okay." He said slowly, testing the waters of this dreaded subject, "And you're telling me this because...?"

"Because a wedding invitation came in the mail today inviting me to the wedding and I want you to come as my date." She smiled, "I'm giving you a heads up so you know not to make any plans, alright?"

"Mari, if there's an emergency than I really can't-"

She held up a finger, "If there is an emergency then you don't have to go, Boo. But if there isn't then I want you to promise me you and I will go together, alright?"

"Mari, you know I can't make plans." He sighed, fiddling with his ring. She knew what that meant. It meant that another lecture was coming about the responsibilities he had to the Core, to the League, and to the people of Earth. Everyone, it seemed, except her. While Mari knew the notion was childish and even a bit resentful, she couldn't help but feel like it was true.

Sometimes it wasn't easy being Mari, but no matter what happened she always put her best high-heeled foot forward and marched on proudly. Even when her boyfriend made her want to claw out his eyes and tear out her own hair in frustration, she kept her calm. Whether it was on the runway or on the Station, Mari always made sure to control her temper.

"I know that, John. I'm in the League too. But if you're not busy that day than-"

"I already told you I don't know." He frowned, "Things come up sometimes and plans need to change."

"I know that which is why I'm saying what I said now." She persisted, "I'm telling you so you can't say you had no idea or schedule something on the day of their wedding."

"I really don't appreciate you trying to pressure me into going to all of your events, Mari. I'm not some little boy-toy you can just drag around everywhere."

"I never said you were!" Mari snapped, "I was inviting you to go because normally that's what couples do; they go places together. Dinah and Ollie are friends and colleagues of ours and I thought it would be nice for the two of us to go."

His face softened, "I'm sorry, it's just-"

"What, John? What could it possibly be?" Mari asked wearily, "Just about every time we're together you snap at me for something and blame it on being over-worked. I love you, John, but you can't do that."

She walked over to the coat rack and picked up her purse, slinging it over her shoulder as she placed her hand on the doorknob, "I'm going shopping now. We'll finish talking about this when I get back, unless of course you get called on a mission."

He opened his mouth to respond, but before he got a single word out she slammed the door.

"There you are! I thought I'd never find you."

Dinah Lance, soon to be Dinah Queen, looked up to see a beautiful woman who had graced the cover of more magazines than she could count walk over to her with a grin on her face. "Mari! It's so good to see you again."

"You too, hon." She smiled, hugging the other woman. "You would not believe the afternoon I had."

"You'll have to tell me about it while we shop for my dress."

"Can we get something to eat here first?" Helena asked, speaking up for the first time. "I'm starving."

"You're always hungry." Dinah chided with a slight roll of her eyes.

"That's because putting up with Q's ramblings, you going crazy, and working twenty-hour days takes a lot of energy."

"What do you mean by me going crazy?"

"Ladies, ladies, relax." Mari soothed, "Dinah, you're not going crazy at all compared to other brides I've seen. Helena, we'll buy you a Milky Way on the way there."

"...Can I have a Snickers bar instead?"

"Only if you stop calling me a crazy bridezilla." Dinah huffed.

"You know, Milky Way's are good to." Helen shrugged, "I have too much fun teasing you to let up, even if it is for chocolate."

Before a cat fight could break out between the two women Mari quickly said, "Come on, we're going to miss are appointment if we don't hurry."

"Thank you so much again for getting me an appointment at Botticelli's, it's almost impossible for anyone to get one." Dinah gushed, "They wouldn't even let the fiancé of Oliver Queen in there, can you believe it?"

"Aw, is the little blond upset her sugar daddy can't get her what she wants?" Helen pouted in false sympathy.

"Keep it up and I'm going to make you wear the most hideous dress I can find." Dinah threatened before turning back to Mari, "Anyways, I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am. I just really want a nice dress, you know?"

Mari waved her off, "It's no problem. Besides, I owe you and Helena for saving me from Roulette's mind control."

"You can repay me but buying me lunch today." Helena suggested, "Screw buying me some fancy dress I'll wear exactly once in my life, just get me a damn chilidog. Uh, scratch that, I'll take a pretzel."

"Why a pretzel? Chilidogs are better than a pretzel." Mari opined, "Plus you get more for your money."

"And who says models eat like birds." The Italian smirked, "Chilidogs are amazing, but you know how hot dogs come in packages of ten and buns come in packages of eight? Well Q says it's because the steroids they inject in cows causes them to get fatter and produce more meat, but the meat's bad. So they give it you so no one suspects anything because they're too happy they have extra hotdogs or to angry because they have too few buns."

"That is...the dumbest thing I've ever heard." Mari said truthfully, "Please tell me you don't believe it."

"Of course not." Helen assured them quickly while thinking to herself, But still better safe than sorry. "Why, do you think I'm some sort of dumb bimbo who believes whatever she hears?"

"No, but you are dating a guy who thinks hotdogs are dangerous." Dinah murmured, "Something in your head has to be off."

Helena prepared to tell the blond off, but before she could the trio arrived in front of a large, lavishly decorated building that reeked of wealth. The establishment was obviously for people with money and a lot of it. "That's a big building..."

"And it's all filled with wedding dresses?" Dinah gaped, "I think I've died and gone to heaven."

"Well, wedding dresses and other dresses alike." Vixen explained as they entered, "But their gowns are absolutely gorgeous."

"Oh. My. God." A man dressed in a bright purple shirt and pink tie gasped as he caught sight of the women. "Mari! Mari baby, is that you?"

"Alfonzo!" Mari cried in delight as she approached the man. The two gave each other air kisses on each cheek in a very European-like manner.

"Girl, you look fabulous!" Alfonzo gushed, dragging her towards two chairs and gesturing for her to sit down, "So, I hear you're here for a wedding dress and I have to ask; are you finally getting your chained tied to some sexy little bulldog?"

"It's not for me." She laughed, "It's for her."

Alfonzo looked up to see a stunningly beautiful dark-haired woman with a bored expression on her face. "Her?"

"Huh?" Helen frowned when she noticed the man's eyes had fallen on her, "Hell no. Blondie's the one getting hitched, not me."

Alfonzo turned to see a smiling Dinah Lance in all her glory and broke into a grin as well, "Ugh, I'm a spaz when it comes to weddings, I swear. It's amazing I got anything done at all when I was planning mine with Chuck. "He looked Dinah over, "Se-xy, baby cakes! So who's the lucky man?"

"Oliver Queen."

Alfonzo's eyes widened, "So you're the woman who managed to tie down that sexy little hunk of man meat! Mm-mm girlfriend, you must have worked it good."

"I did." Canary smirked, placing her hands on her hips triumphantly. "And after all that work I really want a nice dress to wear on the big day. Do you think you can find one that will look nice on me?"

"A potato sack would look good on you, baby cakes. I bet you drive all the men crazy."

"We all do." Mari smirked, "Now about that dress."

"Of course, of course. Come my bitches, right this way." He called over his shoulder as he marched them over to a display of dresses.

"Only I could get stuck dress shopping with two fashion slaves and a guy who could be the cover boy for Flamboyant Monthly." Helena muttered under her breath. While she enjoyed getting dressed up and going for a night out on the town as much as the next woman, her idea of a good time was hardly waiting around in a dressing room for her best friend to pick a dress while a woman she barely knew laughed it up with her feminine friend.

"These are some of our newest arrivals." Alfonzo smiled proudly as he gestured to the strikingly lovely gowns on display. "We buy from only the best and most well-known designers like Mattie Sottero, Jean Nouvel, Vera Wang, and Chuck Norris."

"What can't that sexy man do?" Helena snorted with a little shake of her head.

"I kid, I kid." Alfonzo assured them with a grin, "Jean Nouvel is an architect, not a dress designer! But back to the dresses. Now not to sound like a snobby little bitch, but since you're marrying Oliver Queen I think wearing a white dress is a bit of false advertising, no? Like a bra adding two cup sizes sort of thing, if you get the metaphor. Oliver's a naughty little bastard from what I've heard, and he never goes to bed alone."

Dinah opened her mouth to reply when Helena cut her off, "Oh, don't even try to deny it!" Smiling mischievously she turned to Alfonzo, "The two of them are like dogs."

Pink tinted Canary's cheeks as she shot back, "Like you and Vic are so much better!"

"Obviously we must be if you two snuck in our rooms to try to watch." Helen reasoned with a shrug.

Mari tried to cover her snicker by placing her hand over her mouth as Alfonzo let out a drawled, "Oooh. She told you, sister!"

Dinah's face reddened even more. "We did not 'sneak in to try to watch you'! We let you spend the night in one of our guestrooms and heard some strange sound coming from your room so we decided to check it out. I was mortified!"

"If you were that embarrassed I doubt you would have stood there watching us like a kid with a television." Helena replied absently.

"Wha-you...? Gah!" Dinah sputtered angrily, "Just let me see a damn dress."

"Congratulations, you finally made her snap." Vixen muttered, "You've officially unleashed bridezilla, Helena."

"It was only a matter of time." Helen shrugged, "Could you hurry up and pick a dress, please? I have about a thousand essays to grade when I get home."

As Alfonzo grabbed Dinah by the hand and ushered her towards the gowns Vixen turned to Helena in surprise. "What do you mean a thousand papers to grade? Why on Earth would you have to grade papers?"

"That's one of the downsides to being a teacher." The brunette explained, "You end up drowning in papers half the time. Especially me since I spend most of my free time patrolling Gotham."

"You're...a teacher?"

"Yes, it is that hard to believe?"

"Yes."

Helena simply shrugged, "I like kids."

Across the room Dinah and the salesman were attempting to find her a dress. "Anything you wear is going to look fabulous on you, baby cakes." Alfonzo assured her, "You have a body that would make even Power Girl jealous, you know that? Whoever did your breasts did an absolutely a-ma-zing job."

Dinah gaped at him in horror and instinctively covered her chest with her arms. "Wha-they are not fake! I get them from my Dad!"

"You got your daddy's boobies?" He frowned, "Darling, that is not something we are proud of!"

"I meant from his side of the family!"

"There's nothing wrong with getting a little help from the surgeon, Di." Mari called from across the room, "Let's face it, when we work out as much as we all do sometimes we lose the extra stuff we got going on up top. My surgeon did a fabulous job with mine and he only added a little more wow."

Helena looked up at them in slight amusement, "Am I the only one here who stuck with what her Mama gave her? Go Italian genes!"

"I did not get a boob job!" Dinah shouted, "Can we please just go back to looking at dresses?"

"Denial, denial, sugar." Alfonzo chided, "The sooner you admit it, the better."

"I'm not going to 'admit' something that's a lie!"

"You make it sound like we should be ashamed." Mari noted dryly, "What's wrong with getting a little work done?"

"Nothing for you, Mari. You're a supermodel." Dinah assured her, "It's a given that that was going to happen. I, on the other hand, am not. For the last time my breasts are real, got it?"

"Honey bunny if we all can tell then what is the point of denying it?" Alfonzo sighed, "It is getting a little tiring."

"Why you little-! Fine! You know what?" Dinah cried, grabbing his hands and shoving them onto her breasts, squeezing him so he could feel them. Smiling just a tad insanely she laughed triumphantly, "Ha! See, I told you they were real! I told you!"

Alfonzo froze and stared at Dinah, "Wha-you...? Take my hands off your boobies now, you freak!"

Sanity seemed to slowly seep back into Canary's mind as her face fell and she released her grip on his hands. "Oh my...I am so sorry!"

"Gah!" He cried, slapping away her hands and placing his own possessively on his sides. Panting, he looked up at her and exclaimed, "What is wrong with you, you PMSing psycho!"

Mortified at her actions Dinah quickly began to apologize, "I am so, so sorry. That was completely out of line and-"

"You bet your fake bosom it was!" He yelped, "Mari darling, I am afraid I am going to have to ask you to make all the horny bitches in your group leave." He shivered in disgust before adding, "Immediately."

Helena looked up and frowned, "Hey! Why do I have to leave?"

Vixen shot him an apologetic look as she walked over to hug him goodbye, "Alfonzo, I am so-"

He held up a hand as she approached him, "Nuh-uh, too much contact with the other species for me for one day, baby cakes. I will see you at the shoot on Friday."

"Again, I'm so sorry." Dinah apologized.

"Talk to the hand, girlfriend." Alfonzo snapped as he held up his palm, "By the way, you are a liar! Your boobies were as hard as rocks Ms. Malibu Barbie!"

Dinah glared at him, "They're real!"

"Real as unicorns!"

"Okay, I think it's time to go." Mari said quickly as she grabbed the furious blond by the arm. "Ciao, Alfonzo!"

"Ciao, my bitches!"

The minute they exited the store Mari turned to Dinah and frowned, "I have to say Di, I'm a little bit surprised by your behavior. I expected someone as classy and smart as you to be a little bit more well- behaved."

"My behavior?" Dinah gaped, "He spent the entire time bashing on me and saying I got a boob job!"

"So your first thought was 'if I feel him up then I bet he'll realize they're real'?" Helena snorted, "I have a feeling he doesn't have very much experience with how real breasts feel over fake ones, Dinah. Not your brightest idea."

"Oh shut up!" Dinah snapped, "All of that and I still don't have my wedding dress. Ugh, this day's been nothing but awful!"

"You know what would make it better? If we all went out and ate something." Helena suggested, "I'm in the mood for a burger, what about you?"

"Enough with the hunger pains!"

"You'll find a dress, hon. I promise." Mari assured her soothingly, "In the mean time I have to get home to John. I'll see you all on the Watch Tower tomorrow."

"Bye, Mari. Thanks for trying to help me find a dress." Dinah smiled wearily, "I'll see you soon."

After the sassy supermodel had left Helena turned back to Dinah and looked at her curiously. After a moment of studying her friend she said, "Dinah...I have to ask. Are they really real?"

"For the last time yes!"

A/N Alfonzo: because the funniest sales clerks are the ones who only like women's chests for the material of the fabric of their shirts:)

A/N Read and review!