A/N I own nothing, all characters belong to DC and Warner Bros.

A/N There might be a few small grammar errors in this particular chapter, I edited it while I was listening to the Lonely Island...like a boss:)

Thanks for your patience and a special thanks for your reviews!

"So let me get this straight." Ted Grant said as he held up a finger, "You agreed to marry the guy who's cheated on you, what, one hundred times?"

"Would it kill you to be happy for me?" Dinah bristled.

"No, but I'll tell you what kid it'd sure kill me to watch you get a divorce because he cheated on you again."

The beautiful blonde woman fought back a sigh as she pinched her nose and tried to keep her temper under wraps. She loved Ted, she really did. After all he'd taught her what it was like to have a father when her own bailed on her and her mother. Still, that seemed to be everyone's response when she told them her and Ollie were to be married. Frankly, it was getting on her last nerve.

"He won't cheat on me again, Ted."

"Oh? And how do you know that? Last I checked the only power you had was making people go deaf."

"Hey! It's good for other stuff, too."

The former boxer's lips twitched into a small grin as he momentarily paused his brutal attack on the punching bag hanging from the ceiling in front of him. "Is that right?"

"Of course it is! It lets me make people deaf, and blow stuff up, and...make people deaf, and..." She trailed off uncertainly as her mind struggled to think of another use for her ability.

Ted grinned, "That's what I thought."

"Congratulations, not only have you managed to make my happy announcement seem like a bad thing but also bash my Canary Cry in the process. Way to go."

"What can I say, kid? I'm one of a kind."

"I'll give you that much." Dinah conceded with a sigh, "So will you come?"

"Of course I will, kid. But I gotta ask: Why are you marrying this guy? Couldn't you do better than an over-opinionated liberal of a manwhore?"

"What's wrong with being a liberal?" Dinah asked innocently as she avoided the question. She knew it would irk him, but that was half the fun of talking to Ted.

"Quit beating around the bush and answer the question."

"I love him, Ted." Dinah said simply, "I know it sounds cliché and stupid but I do. Why else would you marry someone?"

"Let's see we got guilt, lust, money, being pregnant..." He frowned as a thought occurred to him, "You're not pregnant, are you?"

"Wha-no! Why would you ask that?"

"Your little buddy has himself quite a reputation." Wildcat shrugged. He looked her over suspiciously, "Are you sure you're not pregnant, kid? If you are than you know you don't have to marry him, right? I'll take care of you and the tike."

"I'm not pregnant!"

He looked her over skeptically, "Right, and I'm Mr. Rogers."

"Ted! I'm really not!"

"You know this does explain a lot of things." Ted continued as he ignored her, "Lately you've been acting pretty darn cranky, not to mention it looks like you've put on a few pounds there, Missy."

"What?"

"Can't blame the guy who practically raised you for noticing this, though. Come to think of it I'm surprised he even offered to marry you for something as small as this. The man's got, what, ten little bastards running around all over the place?"

"Nine. Now what do you mean I've gained weight?"

"Well that tends to happen when you're pregnant, Dinah."

"For the last time I am not pregnant!"

"If you say so, kid." Ted chuckled, "But if I see a bump under that gown-"

"Ted!"

"Alright, I'm done." He smirked, turning his attention back to his punching bag. He threw a few more punches and began to speak once more. "So if you're not pregnant then why are you marrying that bozo?"

"Ollie's not a bozo."

"Well he sure ain't a brain."

Dinah stuck her tongue at him in a very child-like manner. Ted laughed at this and gave the bag one last kick before it flew off the chain and across the room, landing onto the gym floor with a thud. The older man leaned backwards and cracked his back with a grunt.

Dinah inwardly winced at the sound of his spine creaking. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Ted was getting older. The man was the closest thing she had to a father and Dinah loved him more than anything, but eventually nature had to claim him in the ultimate circle that is life.

"So if you're done bashing Ollie then I have a favor to ask you."

"Shoot."

"Would you please walk me down the aisle and give me away?" Dinah asked, "You've been a father to me all these years, Ted. It would mean a lot to me if you did."

"...You tugging this old geezer's chain, kid?"

"No, I'm not. This is going to be a really, really special day and I want everything to be perfect." The blonde explained, "Mom died when I was six and Dad was never even in the picture. I want the man who raised me to give me away."

"'Course I will, kid. Just can't believe how much you've grown up." He admitted thoughtfully, "Not to mention how old I'm getting."

"You're not old, Ted."

"You're right; I'm just over fifty, my joints hurt, my hair's gray, and I hate anything modern."

Dinah struggled to find words of comfort, "Well...at least you haven't started yelling at kids to get off your lawn."

"Not yet."

"When are you going to start?"

"When some punk tries to put his grubby shoes on my grass."

She was startled into a laugh and let it roll through her body. Ted watched her with an amused look on his face as she shook and trembled with laughter. "Get a grip, kiddo. It wasn't that funny."

"Maybe not to you."

"So what's this little shin-dig going to be like?" He asked, "There's going to be free food, right?"

She placed her hands on her hips and cocked an eyebrow, "Ted, please tell me you're not seriously only coming to my wedding for free food."

"Of course not!" Ted cried, "...But it is a good bonus."

"Ted!"

"Sorry, kid, it's just weird for me to see you all grown up." Wildcat shrugged, "What happened to the little girl in pigtails trying to reach the punching bag so she could start to train?"

"She turned into a clumsy teenager who couldn't keep her hands off that bag." Dinah smiled.

"Hmph, I hated it when you were a teenager."

"Why is that?"

"Because every damn boy -not to mention a few girls- in the city wanted to get your pants off!"

She rolled her eyes, "Don't you think you're exaggerating just a little?"

"No."

"Well it's not like I actually did it with them." Dinah reasoned, "I didn't lose it until I was-uh, never mind."

"Excuse me?"

"Like I said, never mind. But it's not like I don't know how it works, Ted."

"Of course I know that you know how it works, kid. Remember that little talk I gave you when you were eleven?"

Canary groaned and dropped her face into her hands. Oh yes, she remembered very, very well. Unfortunately, that was the problem. "Who could forget getting a sex lecture from a guy she considered a dad who thought using Barbie dolls would be a good way to show the details?"

"I thought a visual would help you get it." He shrugged.

"You didn't need to use my damn Barbie's to do it!"

"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad."

"You used them to show what the 69 position was!" She yelped, "Besides, Ken was so autonomically incorrect I kept trying to figure out what the hell they were doing!"

"Well I thought it was a good idea."

"Ugh, you know that's the reason I stopped playing with dolls." Dinah frowned, "I was afraid they were going to come to life and have weird sex in their dollhouse."

"Come on, Di. It wasn't that bad, was it?"

"Yes!"

"...Do you still have them to show Ollie what you want to do?"

"Ted!"

In a small apartment in Central City, a dark-haired woman was beginning to wake up with a light groan.

Linda Park opened her eyes tiredly and blinked as she took a moment to study the room she was in. Star Wars sheets, a poster of Beavis and Butthead, and a Spongebob Squarepants alarm clock greeted her gaze as she fought back a snort.

Waking up in Wally's bedroom was always an interesting way to start the morning.

Speak of the sexy devil. Linda thought to herself as her boyfriend's light snoring reached her ears. She looked over and saw Wally lying by her side, the covers kicked off and his glow-in-the-dark Scooby Doo boxers providing light in the dark room they were in.

"Wally, are you awake?" She yawned.

"Gfmslf."

"Wally?"

"Mm...Aunt Iris, I said I wanted the red balloon..."

"Wally, look! There're waffles in here!" Linda lied, reverting to the only true way to awaken any member of the Flash family.

"Good, I'll have thirty." The redhead smiled, now fully awake and alert as he looked around the room in search of the mythical waffles he desired. "Linda, I don't see any."

"That's because they're not real, hon." Linda smirked as she stretched her arms over her head.

"Why on Earth would you lie about such a thing?" Wally gaped.

"You said to wake you up in the morning for an appointment you had with Roy."

Ah, now he remembered. The former Speedy had called him up last night and asked to meet him in Central City Park for 'important business', whatever that meant.

Wally secretly hoped he was referring to the two of them getting back at stupid Dick for dying their uniforms rainbow and sending them on a mission on Gay Pride Day and making everyone think the two of them were partners, and not the Batman and Robin kind.

Although come to think of it a grown man inviting a little boy into a cave to live with him and making him wear a weird swimsuit with no legs while they played acrobats didn't sound like the type of partners Lewis and Clark were, but maybe they had discovered more than just the west coast of America while they were together...

He shook his head of perverted jokes and turned his attention back to the beautiful Vietnamese woman lying in his bed. "So," He grinned, smiling as seductively as possible, "Did you know one of my powers is making my body vibrate? Every part of my body?"

Linda smirked at the cheesy grin on his face and the wiggle of his eyebrows, "Okay, big man. But that little thing about being the 'Fastest Man Alive'? Well, let's just say I know more about that than anyone else in the universe."

"Hey!" He cried indignantly, "Perverted jokes about my powers which I use to help little children and puppies are not appreciated, Ms. Park."

"Me? You started it!"

"Now, now, now Linda, playing the blame game never gets anything accomplished."

"Oh, shove it." She huffed, elbowing his chest as she rolled over. "I can't believe the guy I woke up to humping my back like a dog in heat in his sleep is accusing meof being a pervert."

He couldn't resist the opportunity, "Who says I was asleep?"

Linda put up an admirable battle to stop the smile on her face from showing, but in the end she lost. "Go hang out with your partner, hot shot. I'm pretty sure he's been missing his rainbow buddy lately."

"That is so not funny."

"I thought it was along with Dick, Beast Boy, and the rest of the Titans." She said with a tiny smirk, "But I don't know, after that whole display of your pride maybe I shouldn't let you guys hang out anymore. I'd hate to see you leave me for Roy."

"Shut up!"

"You're right." A pause, "If you ever left me for another man it would be Batman."

"Oh, gross!" Wally gagged, "Ew, oh hell Linda, really? You know the guy scares the crap out of me!"

"Exactly. Now go run along to your play-date with Roy before I make a joke about what Batman could do to you with his utility belt, or even better John with his power ring..."

"You're a sick woman."

"I try."

Roy tapped his foot impatiently as he awaited the newest Flash's arrival at the diner he was seated in.

He stared out the booth's window at the lovely, clean, chipper Central City and thought about how unbelievably more safe it looked compared to Gotham or Bludhaven. Wally might have been a goof, but he was a goof doing one hell of a job to keep his city in pristine condition.

"Sorry I'm late, Linda was harassing me again." Wally offered as an excuse as he slid across from his old friend on the booth.

"Oh, really?" Roy asked, "What was she teasing you about?"

"Remember how Dick pranked us last year by dying our uniforms rainbow and sending us on a mission together on Gay Pride Day?" Wally asked wearily, "It was that."

"Yeah, I do." Roy agreed, "But it backfired for him. I ended up meeting these two bisexual chicks and we had a three-way at my house."

"What?" Wally gaped in disbelief, "I was hit on by two fat men and an old dude with a redhead fetish!"

Roy's lips twitched into a smile, "I know. Remember how not one person on the Watch Tower or any of the Titans was surprised? They all congratulated you on finally admitting it."

"Well if I remember correctly everyone also said that they were happy you came out of the closet so your real relationship with Ollie could go public!" The redhead rebutted.

Roy winced, "Touché. Enough with the gay jabs from both of us, alright?"

"Deal."

"So when do I get to meet this Linda lady?" Roy asked, "She sounds pretty cool."

"Well you can see her if you want." Flash answered gesturing up to where a television was located on a far wall. "This was the report from last night. I think it was about socks or something."

Ollie's ward studied the woman taking in her black hair, small brown eyes, olive skin, and most importantly her chest. "Not bad, West. A little lacking in the breasts for my taste, but the legs make up for it. Nothing compared to Donna or Cassie or any of the women in the whole vigilante community, but pretty good as far as citizens go."

"Thanks for the critique." Wally replied dryly, "So why am I here again?"

"Because-"

"May I take your order?"

Roy looked up at the obese woman standing before him. He inwardly cringed at the mole on her cheek and the light trace of aftershave on her middle-aged face. "I'm sorry, could you come back later? I was having a conversation with my friend here."

"That would be me." Wally clarified with a little wave.

"If ya' gonna sit here, doll, ya' gotta order. It's the policy."

"We will, but not now."

"If you don't order now Imma have to ask ya' to leave." Her beady eyes looked the two over, "Shame, see'n how tasty ya' boys look."

Of course. Wally thought bitterly as he sank into his seat, I finally get hit on by a waitress and I get stuck with Rosie O'Donnell. "I'll take a coffee with cream and twenty-six sugars."

"Huh?"

"Woman are you deaf?" Roy snapped, "He said cream and twenty-six sugars!"

"No need to be rude." The woman scowled, "I'll be back soon."

"Can't wait." Wally muttered to himself as she walked away. "So why am I here?"

"Ollie asked me to be his best man at his wedding." Roy explained, "Unfortunately, this little job includes planning his bachelor party."

"And this is a bad thing how? You have the opportunity to plan a wedding for a billionaire playboy and spend as much money as possible while going completely out and you're sitting in front of me complaining? What happened to the Roy I used to know?"

"He realized all the heroes at least five years older than him were assholes."

"Aw, come on. Don't you have a soft spot for Dinah?"

"...Okay, mostly everyone over ten." He conceded, "But Dinah barely counts, I mean she's practically my mother. Except, you know, a mother with great tits who can kill a man by shouting at him."

"She does have a nice body. But I like Linda's better."

"That's because you have an Asian fetish."

"Huh?"

"Think about it; Linda's Vietnamese, Jinx was from the Himalaya's and trained there, the lady you always hit on in the bar was Korean; face it man you've got a fetish."

"Wha-No! If I had a fetish it would be fee-Never mind." Wally grumbled, "So what's the problem with throwing a bachelor party?"

"I don't want to and I don't really know how to." Roy sighed, "We're going to need women, obviously, but I can't think of anything else. Will you help me?"

"Are you going to help me get back at Dick for screwing us over with our uniforms?"

"Only if you babysit Lian next week."

Wally thought it over, "Deal."

A few states over in Gotham city, Helena Bertinelli was currently sprawled out on her kitchen table swarmed with sheets of paper crumpled about as she furiously scribbled away on a notepad.

She paused for a moment and looked up with a frown as she pondered her train of thought. From across the kitchen Q caught sight of her face and asked, "What?"

"How much do you think male strippers go for these days?"

Vic stared at her as though she had suddenly announced Elvis had come back from the dead. He decided for once that it would be better just not to ask why she wanted to know that particular tidbit of information since there was a 94% chance (he had done the math) he wouldn't like the answer one bit. He went with the next best thing to a question and said, "How the hell would I know that?"

"You know everything, Q, talking to you is like reading Wikipedia and watching 60 minutes all at once." Helen shrugged, "I just thought you'd know."

"Why on Earth would I keep track of how much male strippers charge?" He frowned, "On what occasion could I possibly need to know that?"

"I don't know, Vic. Why do you know how much Walmart makes in tax returns every year? Why do you know what an aglet is? Why do you know anything remotely abnormal that you'll probably never use?"

"It's necessary for my work with the Conspiracy."

"And seeing how much male strippers cost is part of mine as Dinah's maid of honor." Helena rebutted triumphantly, "So ha!"

"Hurm. I pity the man who has the nerve or mental condition to date you. Oh, wait..."

"You're funny." Helen scowled, "But seriously, how much?"

Vic rolled his eyes and turned back to the Conspiracy board to finish his study on the effects of Tylenol on children's mind and what the medicine -if one could call it that with a straight face- really did.

He pitied the poor man in a leopard print Speedo at the clutches of Dinah and her bridesmaid's horny hands almost as much as he pitied Ollie's wallet.

A/N So I'm curious as to who everyone wants to see at the bachelor/bachelorette parties. Obviously there's going to be Wally, Helena, Vic, and Roy, but who else would you like to see?

A/N Review please!