Chapter 7
Larxene was reading about some of the risks of childbirth on her laptop (Luxord's laptop) and they seem to be too much for her to bear. Thasmox and Xion are plotting as usual; ways to torture Roxas without getting caught by Zexion, which by now, counts up to forty-seven failed attempts. Marluxia and Lexaeus have been away for six days and no one cares where they went.
"Okay Xion, you distract Zexion. With that in action, I will then lure Roxas into the Grey Room. In there, I will then trick Saix into thinking Xemnas called him. If Demyx is in there, I'll just terminate him. To that point, I'll abuse Roxas forever," Thasmox said.
"Sounds like a plan," Xion replied.
"More like a felony!" Zexion yelled in her ear.
Xion goes away, but Thasmox gives Zexion a demented look. He then stands up, charging a pulse of energy in his hand. When the thing finally gets big enough, he launches it at Zexion. It hits, and knocks him down burning him very badly. He jumps on him, pins him down, and starts beating him relentlessly.
"Sto… oh my g… oou… Tha… sto…" Zexion yelled but is being cut off because Thasmox is punching him.
"Go Thasmox!" Roxas yelled.
Xion turned on the TV and changed it to "The Heartless chat", which was just starting.
Marluxia is trying to get Lexaeus to stay at the Destiny Islands, but Lexaeus doesn't want to stay unless he can destroy someone.
"Come on, what's wrong with this place, it has the flowers," Marluxia said.
"Gay Reaper, there are certain rules that apply to people around me. One of them is "Shut the F*** up", and another is getting on my bad side is a one way ticket to pain!" Lexaeus snapped.
"Hey, is that a weakling begging to be killed?" Marluxia asked trying to trick Lexaeus.
"Where?" Lexaeus asked believing the lie.
Marluxia takes out his scythe and pushes him down. He takes out a sack labeled "Xemnas' Remains" and puts Lexaeus inside.
"Now we stay," Marluxia said.
"Xemnas, please! I had my reasons to lie!" Vexen said.
"I'm listening," Xemnas commanded.
"Larxene sleeps with everyone and it…uhh, it… it distracts her from work yes! Distract her from work! Through that, I was teaching her that sex is bad!" Vexen panicked.
"That is pathetic," Saix said.
"How much did she pay you Saix? How ever much she paid, I can triple it!" Vexen begged.
"Silence!" Xemnas yelled.
"A punishment most suiting for you Vexen, I think that since you lied, you should be the one to tell her," Saix explained.
"I'm guessing around two-hundred thousand munny," Vexen guessed.
"Try five-thousand and ten bags of dog food!" Saix answered.
Luxord and Xion were watching TV as Thasmox was beating Zexion for a time period going on three hours. No one was paying any heed to it.
"Zexion, you want me to kill everyone, cause I can extinguish the sun! I have power over stars apparently!" Thasmox yelled.
"STOP!" Zexion yelled.
Xion sighs for a second and than says, "Roxas, I'll do you if you help Zexion," She said blankly.
"YES!" Roxas said throwing Thasmox off Zexion and beating him with a Keyblade.
"Zexion, I help you, you help me!" Xion said.
"I know what you're getting at!" Zexion said.
Black energy appears around Roxas and dissipates after about three seconds. He continues to beat Thasmox.
"Roxas!" Xion yelled.
"I'll stop!" Roxas said.
"Enough," Luxord said. Luxord took out some cards and did weird thing with them. Thasmox was then surrounded by spinning cards. The cards stopped spinning about five seconds later, but Thasmox was gone.
"He's gone," Luxord said.
"Where'd he go?" Zexion asked.
Thasmox appears somewhere else. Somewhere that should be familiar but isn't. His human home.
"Where the F*** am I?" He asks himself.
The door opens. He hides behind a tree and spies. He looks out and sees Thomas. He sees himself.
"Where the F*** am I?" He repeats to himself.
Thomas walks by and pushes him into the tree.
"Are you my clone?" Thomas asked.
"Well, I don't know who you are, so I can't say much," Thasmox said due to the fact that he's an idiot.
"Shut up!" Thomas said.
"You asked me a question dumb***!" Thasmox said.
Thomas beats Thasmox up.
"You'll regret this when I kill you and turn you into a Heartless!" Thasmox yelled obviously still not realizing that he's talking to himself from a while back.
Xemnas is still trying to find a suitable punishment for Vexen. Meanwhile, he has him grooming Saix and has Xigbar aiming the gun at him should he stop.
"When do I get my break?" Xigbar asked.
"Once I get my flea bath and my ice cream, and Xemnas says Vexen can stop!" Saix yelled.
"Shut up!" Vexen yelled.
Saix bites him.
"Ow!" Vexen yelled.
"You might need some silver before the next full moon, because I'm a werewolf!" Saix howled.
"Saix, stop talking or you can sleep in Thasmox' bed tonight," Xemnas yelled.
"I'll be good," Saix says quickly.
Marluxia is trying to get a tan and Lexaeus is trying to escape the sack.
"I'll beat you this time!" Tidus yelled.
Marluxia walks up to Tidus and bonks him with the scythe.
"It's impossible to relax around here!" Marluxia said.
"Marluxia, let me out!" Lexaeus said angrily.
"Lexaeus, there are some rules that apply to people around me. One, worship the flowers, two, don't disgrace the flowers when I'm speaking well of them!" Marluxia snapped taking Lexaeus' Axe and puts it in the water.
"You can't dump my axe!" Lexaeus screamed.
"Vexen, it's time!" Xemnas said.
"I can stop Saix' treatment!" Vexen yelled.
"Get owned by Larxene instead!" Saix said.
"Aw, f***!" Vexen explained.
Xemnas opened a Dark Corridor and threw Vexen inside.
Xion was watching Sephiroth's Killfest again. She was pretending that a hand carved, wooden replica of Luxord was Thasmox because he hasn't come back yet. She took Roxas' Keyblade and grafted it to his stomach and currently, Zexion was removing it. Larxene was punching Luxord because he had made the collectible Larxene card, explaining how she's the biggest slut.
"Xion, when Xemnas finds out, he's…"
"Not gonna care!" Xion said interrupting Zexion.
"Luxord!" Larxene yelled.
"I need to find Thasmox!" Luxord yelled.
Larxene starts punching Luxord harder and faster.
"Come on, come on… YES! He did it! He just killed the director!" Xion said.
"Xion, it's like your watching football!" Zexion said.
"Sephiroth's using a football!" Xion explained.
"What happened to Masamune?" Zexion asked.
"Banned for this round!" Xion answered.
Luxord finally cards Larxene off of him and warps to the past before she can maintain him again.
"Axel, look. Thasmox is looking at me!" Xion said.
"Stop pretending that's him. It's Luxord doll. Got it Memorized?" Axel rambled.
"Where'd it go?" Xion asked looking for the wooden Luxord.
Larxene took the Luxord doll and started punching it.
"Larxene, stop punching Thasmox!" Xion yelled.
"uh…, no!" Larxene yelled.
Thasmox was lurking in the past trying to find the Thomas who beat him up and get him back. As a matter of fact, he intended to turn him into a Heartless. Strangely, that would benefit the Organization.
He's hiding in a tree and watching for when Thomas walks by. When he walks by, he fires the Starlight he conjured in his hand. He thought about extinguishing the Sun but he then figured it be too complicated to flip his wrist. Thomas walked by.
"The fish took the bait, and now the filet will be cooked, at about 10000 degrees," Thasmox whispered.
Thomas punched the tree for no reason, but unfortunately, Thasmox still fell out and burned himself.
"Ow, that burned it did!" Thasmox yelled.
"You're a retarded assassin, aren't you?" Thomas said.
"The retarded assassin has pink hair, a big scythe, a gay personality and is missing! I'm the smart ass teenager who loves violence. Understood?" Thasmox commented.
"You obviously have been smoking crystal," Thomas said.
"Who told you?" Thasmox yelled.
"You, even when you're mouthing me. I'll beat you again if you don't leave!" Thomas said.
"Eat 10000 degrees of heat, mortal!" Thasmox yelled lunging a Starpunch which easily missed. Following his fail to hit, Thomas grabbed Thasmox' neck and started choking him.
"You'll regret this!" Thasmox yelled kicking him off.
Thomas obviously was not pleased. He mysteriously took out a pistol.
"How the heck do you have a gun?" Thasmox screamed.
"Magic!" Thomas yelled as he fired his gun.
Thasmox casted reflect and Thomas did the same after Thasmox.
"Where did you get magic?" Thasmox asked.
"I've always knew something. Watch as I cast Graviga!" Thomas said casting Graviga.
"Holy weed, why'd you go so powerful on me?" Thasmox yelled.
"Told you!" Thomas said.
"Screw you!" Thasmox yelled entering a Dark Corridor which Thomas followed him through.
Marluxia and Lexaeus were finally moving from Destiny Islands where Marluxia had taken many photos.
"Any Idea where we are going?" Lexaeus asked.
"Xaldin's map seems to be leading us to an X, meaning we're getting close. Congratulations Lexaeus!" Marluxia said.
"Maybe we can leave now, because Roxas might have it on his site." Lexaeus added.
"Check before we leave," Marluxia said.
Lexaeus takes out his web book and types in the website '=news+gossip+1&Xion=8. (Not a real website, it's just Roxas' website)
"Let's see…" Lexaeus says scrolling.
This is the information in news and gossip.
Zexion is a Pervert
Xaldin has a Secret Shame
Larxene is Pregnant and needs an A-word
Xion is hot when nude
Marluxia is gay
Organization XIII will get you mortal viewers
Go to Paul's Carpet Emporium for low, low prices on carpets, drapes, and drugs.
Thasmox' real name is Mosath
"Well, it says all over it that Roxas is an idiot, no doubt," Lexaeus said.
"Let's just keep walking, maybe we'll see some flowers along the way," Marluxia said.
"Take a photo, but don't stay too long," Lexaeus growled.