Chapter 10
Xion was finally exhausted from beating Roxas so Xemnas had an Ethereal Blade over her neck.
"This is pathetic, how could she be so aggressive after Axel and the other punk tried to talk to her?" Xemnas asked.
"It's obvious, Roxas banged her and she's mad at all mention and is being a demanding bitch," Saix explained.
"Everything sounds bad when you say it like that!" Xemnas yelled.
"Xemnas, it's either you don't understand women, or you are one of the biggest morons in all of nonexistence," Saix said.
"That's it, the electric fence is on tonight," Xemnas replied.
"Number I, I'd like that last remark stricken from the record," Saix requested.
"Sure, why… hey!" Xemnas yelled pressing a button activating Saix' shock collar.
The shock hurt Saix and he yelped. "One shock is like the rise of the antichrist to us, we're sensitive, how the hell did you decide to do that you son of a bitch!" Saix screamed.
"No that's you, Saix!" Xemnas said.
"Okay dude, listen, if you're gonna get around to Xion without being murdered, you'll need help!" Thasmox said.
"I'm listening," Roxas whispered
"Okay, number one, next time you go to her, make sure you're invisible first," Thasmox explained.
"How do I do that?" Roxas asked.
"Ask Xemnas," Thasmox said.
"I have," Roxas replied.
"And what did he say?" Thasmox asked.
"Up yours kid, Saix sleeps on your bed tonight!" Roxas quoted.
Thasmox says nothing and instead puts a DVD into the player.
"What's this?" Roxas asked.
"I swiped it from Xemnas. It was apparently his birthday present. It's called "Saix with a chainsaw!" Thasmox answered.
"Why are we watching this?" Roxas questioned.
"No reason," Thasmox said.
Lexaeus entered through a Dark Corridor, and instead of saying something, grabbed Roxas by the neck, threw him across the room, and started beating him with his axe.
"Lexaeus, why are you doing that?" Thasmox asked.
"I'm showing Roxas how to defend himself when Xion comes back to send him straight to Oblivion." Lexaeus answered.
"Hey, wait a minute, I thought that you and Marluxia where fixated on Xaldin's secret shame," Thasmox queried.
"He's obsessed with…" Lexaeus stopped talking because Xaldin had stabbed him in the back of the neck. Lexaeus collapsed.
"I'd better take him to the hospital," Thasmox said not moving but instead opening a can of soda.
"Why aren't you taking him to the hospital?" Roxas asked.
"Why should I care?" Thasmox said.
"I'm not gonna," Roxas yelled.
Xion walks out of a Dark Corridor.
"Come on Lexaeus, you're getting medical attention," Roxas yelled quickly and somewhat incoherently entering a Dark Corridor.
"I wanted to talk to him…," Xion said.
"What, you're not mad anymore?" Thasmox asked.
"No, I'm still vengefully furious, but that's what I need to talk to him about," Xion explained.
"I'd better fetch him," Thasmox said sitting there opening another can of soda.
Axel appeared. "I believe this belongs to you Xion," he said holding Roxas by the hood. Roxas was struggling.
"Put him down!" Xion said.
Axel dropped him. "He's all yours,"
"Roxas, before you run, I'm not gonna kill you," Xion explained.
"Don't crush my eye-sockets!" Roxas yelled.
"I want to talk," Xion said.
"Oh, interesting. You two can talk and I can eavesdrop," Thasmox explained happily.
"You can go to hell!" Xion yelled.
"Can, won't!" Thasmox exclaimed.
"Roxas, what you did was a travesty. No doubt about it, Xemnas neglected to punish you because he didn't punish Marluxia for the attempted treason at Castle Oblivion. Strangely enough, Xemnas funded that project, but the point is since you got me into this, you gotta help me deal with this because there is no way out. Understood?" Xion said.
"How?" Roxas asked.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but you need to be the father," Xion elaborated holding in vomit.
"How?" Roxas asked again.
"Thasmox, you can help," Xion yelled.
"Can, won't," Thasmox exclaimed again.
Xemnas appeared. "XV, you have two options, help the Girl Roxas or go on a mission to a world where everyone of your greatest fantasies and wishes come true the exact way you want them to!" Xemnas yelled.
"How long is the mission?" Thasmox asked.
"What time would you hate?" Xemnas asked.
"700 years!" Thasmox answered.
"Very well, your objective is to kill Heartless for 700 years," Xemnas explained.
"You're the idiot," Thasmox said going through the Dark Corridor.
"Check it out, I'm Queen Talking Tiki, do not anger me!" Marluxia said in a gay voice making the tiki statue breathe fire the instant Larxene entered the room.
"Queen? If you ask me, you're more of a seamstress!" Larxene yelled.
"Bow before your Fire breathing God King!" Marluxia yelled.
"I thought it was queen," Larxene laughed.
"It was Queen Talking Tiki, now it's God King Flaming Tiki," Marluxia stated.
"You are a queen!" Larxene laughed again.
"Anger me, and be burned!" Marluxia said even though no fire emitted. "I said Anger me and be burned! Anger me and be burned," he repeated about seven times.
"Give it up. You and Axel can get that out of my room before I do some awful things to you and make Namine rewrite your memory to make you want to be castrated, so I can make an easy hundred-some dollars doing shoddy surgery!" Larxene explained.
"You're not a vet, Larxene!" Marluxia said.
"You're not smart Marluxia, got it memorized?" Axel remarked out of nowhere.
"Now, I repeat, get rid of the f***ing tiki statue!" Larxene piercingly screamed.
They do as she "asked" and decided to bother Zexion. Long story short, bad idea and death of Talking Tiki.
Meanwhile at Altar of Naught…
"You've been called here for a reason," Xemnas said.
"Whax wouxd thax bex?" Demyx asked.
"Look at Kingdom Hearts, what do you see?" Xemnas asked.
"Xit," Demyx answered
"No, you see an angry figure, burning with fury due to the fact that you forgot to clean, polish, and repair the Naught Zone. Do as you're told, because I have Luxord gambling a bladed card around your neck. Get the heck to work!"