Chapter 11
Thasmox had entered the world of fantasies. He read the sign that said "Welcome to Fantasy Island of Doom?" Thasmox asked to himself.
An entity approaches him. "Welcome to Fantasy Island of Doom," said the entity.
"What's the doom mean?" Thasmox asked.
"We called it that to make it sound less fruity!" The entity said. The entity fell over then.
"You annoy me, that's what you get!" Thasmox yelled.
The entity stands back up. "Ok smart-aleck, just for that, you get a house in the gay neighborhood."
"Actually, I would prefer a house in my old neighborhood from 9 months ago, so I could kill my arch enemy!" Thasmox stated.
"Let's see what we have in stock. We have the nothing house!" it said.
"That's Xemnas, try again!" Thasmox said.
"Take a look at the list," The entity said.
{The format will have Thasmox response in quotations}
1: Shooting range "That's more of a Xigbar fascination,"
2: Ship on the ocean on a windy day "Who the hell wants that?"
3: Candy Mountain Cave Secret Lab "That's the insane guy, no doubt about it,"
4: Weight Room of Full of weak people begging to be killed. "5000 munny on Lexaeus.
5: A library full of Playboys "So very tempting, but I'll be considerate and leave that for bookworm on his visit."
6: Moonlit Dogfood factory with Xemnas' Bed, "That last part makes him sound gay,"
7: Hell "Axel, you are severely f***ed up"
8: Octopus' Garden in the Shade "It's either Demyx, or Ringo Starr,"
9: Casino Royale "Does he mean the movie, or the casino itself?"
10: Rooftop Garden with pretty flowers and Posters of Robert Patterson wearing no shirt near a makeup table. "That's gay even for Marluxia."
11: Thunder Plains of Spira with 87 guys "Larxene, hands down,"
12: A house full of girls that look just like Xion "Roxas, you are one crazy douchebag.
13: Hypnotized Horny Thasmox "Damn Xion, that's disturbing…"
14: Porno, Soda, Stars, DVD's of Sephiroths Killfest, Dead Roxas "Damn, it's like you read my mind! I'll take No. 14." He said.
"Xion?" the entity asked.
"On the list moron!" Thasmox explained.
The entity snapped his fingers. "Here we are," The entity said. He then vanished.
"I now need to find Thomas!" Thasmox said to himself. "After several episodes of Sephiroth's Killfest, that is!" Thasmox yelled turning on a DVD.
Xemnas and Vexen are working on a new set of rules.
"Let's see what we've got," Vexen requested.
This is the list.
1: No Metallica from 9-5 pm.
2: Legal age for drinking and smoking applies
3: No slipping cocaine into peoples drinks
4: No slipping drinks into people's cocaine
5: Xemnas is thy god of all
6: No sex without 3 or more protection methods at once
7: No Sugar for Vexen
"Xemnas, what the f***?" Vexen screamed.
"Your sugar addiction is a problem, we have to limit your intake because it's a problem for business! How are we supposed to sell inferior style electronics when you're on sugar?" Xemnas asked.
"What business about inferior style electronics, we don't do anything!" Vexen yelled.
"Shut up, we have only two hours 'til nine, I'm gonna listen to Metallica!" Xemnas said putting in an MP3 and going to Anesthesia: Pulling Teeth by Metallica.
"Xemnas, stop playing Metallica!" Vexen shouted.
Xemnas was loudly singing do's to the base line. "This is a great song!"
Zexion appeared through a Dark Corridor.
"How are the rules coming' along?" Zexion asked.
"What rules, there are no new rules!" Vexen yelled quickly.
"Whatever," Zexion said.
Roxas was sleeping on the couch while Sephiroth's Killfest was blaring and Xion was trying to sleep on top of him (On her Back) because that would torture him.
"Damn you, fall asleep me!" Xion whispered.
"You're laying the wrong way!" Larxene said coming out of the kitchen.
"I'm not trying to have sex with him! What the hell is your problem?" Xion screamed.
"I'm drunk. Where's the douchebag, the starboy?" Larxene asked.
"Mission," Xion said.
"Darn it, I was going to get him wasted, strip him, and make him streak around Xemnas. That would definitely get him demoted into a Gambler at best," Larxene explained.
Luxord was standing behind her, spinning bladed cards. "What was that about gamblers?" Luxord asked angrily.
"I'll play you in Caravan for sixty bottle caps!" Larxene stated.
"This is not Fallout. If you absolutely want to gamble with me, than we shall poker for munny!" Luxord explained.
"Poker is so boring. Why don't we play a drinking game I invented. The rules are very simple, one of us will ask a question, and the other will have ten seconds to answer the questions. If you fail to answer the question correctly, you must take a drink. First one to get drunk loses. We decide who the questioner is at first with rock paper scissors. Every question, the questioner switches. You in?" Larxene finished.
"I am!" Roxas answered.
"You're to young to drink!" Luxord said.
"Think of it this way; if he gets drunk or gets a hangover, he may learn his lesson," Larxene yelled.
"Very well. Do you have adult money punk?" Luxord asked.
"Yeah, I stole it from Xemnas!" Roxas answered.
"Very well, we shall set up a game in the Grey Room," Luxord stated.
"Hey, wait a minute Roxas, when'd you wake up and how'd you get over there?" Xion asked still unable to fall asleep.
"I don't know…" Roxas said.
"As long as you're up, you in for my game?" Larxene asked.
"Larxene, she has a baby, she shouldn't drink. Just because you drank when you thought you were pregnant doesn't mean she should drink when she really is, and she's also too young!" Luxord explained.
"Be quiet," Xion said.
"Fine," Luxord said.
Thasmox was heading out to go kill Thomas. He had a few sticks of short fuse dynamite, a .45 magnum, a shotgun, a bulletproof vest, a knife, and bunch of throwing stars. "I can't coordinate my aim, I really should've brought some cigarettes," Thasmox complained to himself.
Thomas walked out of the school and punched a guy in the face. "That's what you get for stealing my cheeseburger and planting crack in my locker," Thomas explained.
"I can't wait until he gets caught for that!" Thasmox said loading his shotgun. Thasmox aimed the shotgun at Thomas. However, Thomas found an empty liquor bottle on the ground. He decided to try and throw it in the trash can on the other side of the tree that Thasmox is perched in. Thomas throws it and, of course, it hits Thasmox square in the face and he fell out of the tree.
Thasmox stands up. "That bastard, I'm gonna kick his ass before I kill him. I just need to find where he went, but mark my words Thomas, I will find you! Where are you?"
"I'm behind you dirtbag!" Thomas said lifting Thasmox by the neck. "What the hell is your problem? I thought that I taught you not to mess with me! What are you, an idiot?" Thomas asked.
"I may be an idiot, but by no means am I an idiot! Where would you get an opinion like that?" Thasmox asked.
Thomas beat Thasmox up. "I'm getting sick of you,"
"How can you be sick of me, we've only met twice. Besides, beating me up is just making me want to blow your head off! I will kill you, don't worry about that!" Thasmox stated.
"Yeah, I'm callin' the cops," Thomas said.
"What're you gonna do, call the cops?" Thasmox yelled.
"…Yes, I just said that," Thomas answered slightly shocked about the idiocy.
"On that mark, I light dynamite and run!" Thasmox yelled taking out a lighter. "Damn, where'd my lighter go? Here hold this," Thasmox said handing Thomas the dynamite.
Thasmox began looking for the lighter.
Thomas went into his pocket and pulled out a bottle labeled "Hyperglue: For all the things Superglue won't work on." And applied some to one side of the dynamite.
"Found it, give me that. Prepare to die!" Thasmox said gripping the dynamite tightly and lighting it. He tries to throw the dynamite but it is Hyperglued to his hand. "This is bad,"
"All right we're ready to go. Larxene, ask your question," Luxord ordered.
"Let's see…, ah perfect! This one's for you punk. What's Xemnas' credit limit, and what's his charge?" Larxene asked.
"His limit's $27,000, and his charge is $26,980," Roxas answered.
"How do you know that?" Luxord asked.
"I keep track of these kinds of things," Roxas said.
"Good, we have enough to order some pizza! Roxas, you get a free drinking pass, you may charge one penalty drink, a failed answering, to either me or Luxord. Congratulations!" Larxene yelled.
"All right! I might win this! Someone remind me what the bid is!" Roxas yelled.
"$600," Luxord said.
"Bitchin'!" Roxas screamed.
"Luxord, ask your question!" Larxene demanded.
"All right. Larxene, what is the cheat code to "Sephiroth's Killfest: The Game" that let's you use the Sin Harvest attack unlimitedly, because I'm stuck on Chuck Norris. What is that cheat?" Luxord asked.
"Hit X Circle X X Triangle X Circle X Triangle Left Left Right X X Down Triangle Circle X X X Down," Larxene explained.
"That's a lie Luxord! It's Square X X Triangle Up Up Triangle X X Square X! Make her drink cause she's wrong!" Roxas interrupted.
"The little bastard caught me!" Larxene said taking a drink, even though she was grinning.
Marluxia was helping Vexen and Xemnas with their rules.
"Okay, I think that calling a co-worker gay is severely offensive, if it's not true. We need to do something about that," Marluxia asked.
"We are not doing a homosexual offense rule. We need to make these rules legitimately justified, like for example; New Members shall be submitted to the following formalities: Drug test, Combat test, Sexuality Test, Medical test, Mental test,… Sexuality test," Xemnas stated putting a large accent (Music for emphasize just in case you didn't know) on sexuality.
"I have a rule we need to add ASAP. You may not cross "Hall of Empty Melodies, Twilight's View, Memory Scyscraper, or the Naught Zone without clearance and directly verified permission from Xemnas under any circumstance. Reason, it's because we have nothing but Heartless in the castle, and they're really starting to cause problems, and Demyx is too lazy to exterminate them. Don't you agree?" Vexen said.
"Yes, Demyx is too lazy. Things were much more effective when he was a Dusk," Xemnas answered.
"I meant the rule part!" Vexen said.
"Oh yeah, that's stupid," Xemnas stated.
"Second," Marluxia agreed.
"How about this? When Xemnas assigns a task, it must be completed within one year of assignment or you will be transformed into a Dusk for half an hour. Sound good?" Vexen asked.
"Marvelous, you have outdone yourself Vexen. I believe you deserve some reward!" Xemnas explained holding out a personal sized bag of Wild Berry Skittles.