Chapter 12
Thasmox was walking around in his perfect house trying to think of a way of killing Thomas.
"Let me see, I could simply extinguish the sun, but then too many people would die, and I'm only after one person. What if I could obtain a proximity bomb and some C4 and perhaps a few tripwires? Then I would also require a weapon such as an MI6 or something more complex then throwing stars." Thasmox takes out a business card from the entity in chapter 11 and activates it.
The entity appears. "What's the problem? Are you ready to leave?"
"You know anyplace where I could purchase things like assault rifles and trap-splosives?" Thasmox queried.
"Like what? I have things," The entity asked.
"Just give me weapons and explosives!" Thasmox yelled.
"I have already transported the junk to your house in your closet," The entity said transporting him there.
"Let's see," Thasmox said examining his gifts.
This is a list of the junk
1: ASP 9mm w/ silencer and twenty reloads.
2: 10 gauge, single barrel, pump action shotgun w/ twenty reloads.
3: Uzi w/ silencer, piercing rounds, and fifty reloads.
4: Dragonuv w/ scope, silencer, and fifteen reloads.
5: M16A2 w/ dot sight, grip, and thirty reloads.
6: RPG7 with five reloads.
7: Two hundred fragmentation grenades.
8: two hundred flash grenades.
9: Two hundred smoke grenades.
10: Two hundred C4's
11: Two hundred proxy bombs
12: Two hundred explosive tripwires.
13: Two hundred landmines
14: Twenty seven twenty four-packs of cigarettes
15: Thirteen six-packs of raspberry lambics, plain beers, and some strawberry vodka.
"Excellent. I have the power of a one man army. Thomas doesn't have a chance, especially once I give him a taste of my special Organization XIII knife. A few bits of armor would've been preferable, but one must make do with…whatever the saying is," Thasmox said out loud for some reason.
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Roxas, Larxene, and Luxord were still playing their game. Roxas was losing because he has a lower alcohol tolerance then the other two due to his age. Larxene was in second seeing as she was purposely answering half the questions wrong so she could drink.
"Roxas, name one of the elements found in your blood," Luxord asked.
"Iron, no wait, official change, Booze-ahol, that's my final answer!" Roxas yelled incoherently.
"No, you were right at first, then you were wrong," Luxord said as Roxas took a drink.
"Eh, who the f*** needs you, f***ord, or is it Draxmorv, something stupid like that?" Roxas asked, inebriated. Roxas started saying more things but it was unbelievably incoherent. Roxas' head then slammed face first in the table.
"I think he's had enough," Luxord said. Luxord tried to shake him awake but he was apparently unconscious.
"One can never have enough," Larxene said, taking the rest of Roxas' beer.
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Axel was trying to take care of Xion, but Xion was not being easy in any way.
"I keep telling you, there are no more Tic-Tacs in this world" Axel screamed at Xion.
"Listen to me! If you don't go out to Twilight Town and by me some Tic Tacs, then so help me, I will use my body to make Roxas attack you, and then make Zexion wipe his memory! Got it memorized?" Xion yelled.
"Hey, that's my catchphrase, got it memorized?" Axel said.
"Okay that's it! I was going to use Roxas, but I'll make an exception here! I stole this from Thasmox' room. Merry F***ing X-mas!" Xion said, aiming an SMG at Axel's head.
"What the hell is your problem?" Axel said as he shoots a fire spell at Xion, knocking the gun out of her hand.
"I'm pregnant and there's no Sephiroth's Killfest this week due to lack of victims. So shut up and get me some Avenged Sevenfold, because I need to listen to Forgotten Faces!" Xion said.
"You hate every song off Sounding of the Seventh Trumpet, especially Forgotten Faces!" Axel yelled.
"Fine, Save Me. Satisfied?" Xion complained.
"Uh…, yes?" Axel replied, puzzled.
Xemnas and Vexen where once again working with the rules, but Zexion and Xigbar were trying to find a way to hack into Xemnas' computer so they could post new rules on the Organization homepage and to unblock some online shopping site so they could order Little Big Planet 2 from the internet.
"Vexen, that will not work. How are we supposed to solve these constant pregnancy issues if rule number six is pimp Girl Roxas and Larxene?" Xemnas asked.
"We pimp them, but only out to lesbians. A little girl-on girl action won't hurt or get them pregnant," Vexen explained.
"Why do you want to do that? It's not like they'd even do it, and besides, they wouldn't let you watch and nobody would pay. Reason, Girl Roxas wouldn't and Larxene would do it for free. Understand?" Xemnas yelled.
"Non, je ne fais pas comprende vous putain idiot!" Vexen stated in french. (No, I do not understand you f***ing idiot)
"What did you say?" Xemnas screamed.
"I said that you are truly a master of all life you and that you may be stupid but you know absolutely nothing," Vexen answered.
"Maybe we should try finding Xemnas' password," Zexion suggested.
"As if, Saix had it changed after Xemnas told everyone, so it won't be as easy as that," Xigbar elaborated.
"How hard could it be?" Zexion asked.
"Very," Xigbar answered, "Why don't we just use a proxy site? It'd save us a lot of trouble,"
"As if," Zexion said.
Xigbar shot Zexion in the foot.
"Xigbar, what the hell?" Zexion yelled.
"Next time you say as if, it will be your head," Xigbar replied.
"I have an idea," Xaldin said out of nowhere.
"How long have you been there," Zexion asked.
"Long enough," Xaldin answered.
"What's your plan," Zexion questioned.
"I think that we should install illegal key-logging software. I have a website that does great work, but I need a proxy to get on it," Xaldin explained.
"Wait a minute, what's the point of using the proxy to get on that site if we could use it to get on the other website in the first place? If we use the proxy, we won't need his password, so what's the point of using it to install key-logging software? It makes no sense to do what you're thinking," Xigbar stated.
"Shut up, our plan is more fun," Xaldin said.
"All we need is a proxy site, you know any Xigbar?" Zexion inquired.
"I do, but why should I tell you if you're going to do this operation the stupid way?" Xigbar said.
"It will help us keep track of Xemnas' computerized operations, and we can use it to find other things about Xemnas. So what'll it be, are you going to tell me a proxy, or never play Little Big Planet 2 and might have all proxies and other sites blocked?" Zexion said trying to reason with Xigbar.
"You win. Go to and it should work," Xigbar said.
"In the event of need, you have any others?" Zexion asked.
"Tons," Xigbar stated.
"Marvelous!" Xaldin yelled.
Thasmox was trying to find out the location of Thomas, so he decided to check his house. He was perched in a tree. He had surrounded the tree with landmines as well as under the doormat, he put some proxy bombs at the ground under each window, as well as attaching C4 to the window sill and put explosive tripwire in all the doorways. He was holding his Dragonuv at the ready.
"Man, this is so boring. I think I need a smoke," Thasmox said securing the Dragonuv on some branches and reaching in his pocket for a cigarette. He lights it. "I wonder how I'm not addicted,"
Thomas was on the sidewalk walking up to the driveway.
"That's right, take a few more steps. Trigger the landmine I have set there," Thasmox whispered.
Thomas, however, takes something out of his pocket which is later revealed to be a rock and throws it towards the tree for some reason. The rock bounces off the tree and lands close to one of the landmines.
"That was close," Thasmox whispered aiming the rifle. However, when he took aim, a pinecone fell off, landed on one of the landmine, and set it off. The mine blew Thasmox out of the tree. "That doesn't make sense…" Thasmox yelled on the ground.
"…You think I would care, but I honestly don't," Thomas said with a puzzled look.
"Shut up! I have grenades, and I have guns, and I have the power to blast your rear from here to Russia!" Thasmox yelled holding Thomas' ankle.
Thomas takes the ASP out of Thasmox' pocket and shoots him in the head. He then uses the shots to somehow disarm the traps. He takes a few steps towards his house, but then looks at Thasmox and goes back. He puts his hand on his chest and feels heartbeat. "Let's se, if I put some C4 here and some other thing around here," He said placing explosives seemingly randomly around Thasmox, "Done, now to launch him to hell!" Thomas said pulling the pin off a grenade. He places it on the ground and runs like hell. The grenade goes off setting off the other explosives which then launch him high. Thasmox eventually lands about three minutes later in Proof of Existence, World That Never Was. {Grenaded, Ironic if I do say so myself}