A/N: Attention! There has been a mistake in the last chapter! Amanda Collins does not have a sister! I repeat, Amanda Collins does not have a sister! Oh, and I'm sorry that last chapter was such complete bullocks. Okay, I think that's it. Thanks to my one reviewer Cassia4u. You're a doll.

Chapter Three:

In which we meet Elton, plot against Snape, and learn to not put Pegasi in the toilet.

I slipped in through the back door with what I thought was a surreptitious movement, but Professor McGonagall's cat eyes snapped up to meet mine as I sat down next to Elton.

"Miss Collins, late for class again. Five points from Ravenclaw, per usual." I smiled my best evil smile at her as she scribbled something down on a piece of parchment, a ruse to avoid my eyes, I'm sure.

"C'mon, Professor. I'll raise you ten, double or nothing," I offered. Elton snickered, and the rest of the class ignored that I was a person, like normal. I mean, even Lily Evans had called me Rebecca earlier. My name was most certainly not Rebecca.

"Double it, then. Ten points from Ravenclaw." Damn, she was good. This was just the relationship Professor McGonagall brought on herself. I tried to keep up with the rules, really I did, but following the authority figure definitely didn't run in my blood. Unless you count your authority figures to be ruthless demons that kill innocent children, which I sincerely hope you do not.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're very skilled in mind games, Professor?" Professor McGonagall finally looked up from the piece of paper to arch her eyebrow at me. I could feel the ice emanating from her in the back of the class.

"Only my ex-husband, Miss Collins." I let out a surprised laugh, along with Elton who pretended it was a cough.

"Merlin's left trainer, did you just make a joke ma'am?"

"Don't be late again," she blew me off and went back to her parchment. Sometimes, I pretended that McGonagall and I were friends, but I'm pretty sure she thought I was just annoying.

We sat in silence for a couple minutes more, taking notes on what McGonagall had written on the board before I leaned over and whispered to Elton, "You'll never guess what just happened to me."

He didn't look up from his notes, a recurring theme in this class. Everybody is a git today. "You almost got trampled by a baby Pegasus that Hagrid was trying to hide in his toilet," he deadpanned. I frowned at him, which he didn't see.

"No, silly, why would Hagrid keep a Pegasus in his toilet? The water is bad for their wings." He looked up only to roll his baby blues at me. I plundered on. "James Potter and Lily Evans want me to pretend to be friends with Lily."

Elton stared at me dumbly. "Okay, so what?"

I smacked him in the arm with my fist. "So now I have a paper I can write about the inside life of Lily Evans! What makes her so-?"

"Attractive? Smart? Fit? Funny? Kind?" I hit him again, and he rubbed the spot, mumbling something about child abuse affecting the minds of adolescent teens for the rest of their life starting with their best friends. I ignored him.

"What makes her different," I said, probably louder than I meant to because Susan Higgins turned around and gave Elton and me a look that could make small children cry. "Oh," I added nonchalantly, leaning back in my chair and giving up the pretense of even taking notes in the first place, "Sirius was there. We flirted. It was amazing."

Elton looked up with real interest this time, smiling hugely. He knew about my crush on Sirius better than anyone. He had also been one of the only people that I told about it not tell me that he was way out of my league. "Will it take away some of my masculinity points if I squeal?"

I laughed, partially because I felt like squealing as well. McGonagall was able to sniff out any sign of happiness better than Remus Lupin could sniff out chocolate, and barked out, "Collins, Meyers, silence in my classroom!"

So we stopped talking for the rest of class, only making interactions through meaningful looks.

Remus Lupin was here, but he sat in his desk by himself, seeing as Lily was his seat partner and she hadn't shown up for class. The desk behind him was also empty, because Sirius and James hadn't come either, and Peter Pettigrew didn't have enough smarts to get into advanced Transfiguration.

This couldn't be easily overlooked; James and Lily were heads this year. What was going on with the world? McGonagall didn't even seem to care! I thought about saying something to Elton, I'm sure Susan Higgins would have turned around again and done more than give me a death glare. Bullocks to the overachievers, I say.

"Merlin, I feel a zit coming on," I groaned as Elton and I filed out of the classroom after everyone else so I could turn in my essay. He stopped me with his arm to examine my face. I let him, because when I felt zits coming on, it usually meant I was about to start my period. Elton knew to hide when it was my time of the month.

"Amy, there isn't even a spot." I ran my hand over my face and yanked my arm away from his.

"Doesn't matter, git, you don't have to see it to feel it." He laughed at my pain as we stepped onto one of the moving staircases that would take us down to the dungeons for Potions with Slughorn.

"If that wasn't about a zit, I would almost comment about how philosophical you just were," Elton choked out. I scowled, but this was our relationship. I complained, he mocked, but we were always going to be there for each other in the end.

"Oi, watch it, Amanda," Bellatrix spat out at me as she and Regulus Black sped down the staircase, pausing only to push me out of her way. Probably trying to escape Hogwarts to see their dearest dark lord.

"Ignore them, Ames. They're just a bunch of haters. Haters got to hate." I eyed him warily. Lately, Elton has been obsessed with all things muggle, usually only focusing it in on his Muggle Studies class, but sometimes it boiled over and no one in the general vicinity knew what he was blabbing on about. Lately all he could talk about was a popular muggle singer that had the same first name as him.

Elton's mum was a witch, and his dad was a muggle, but when Ms. Meyers told Elton's dad that she was pregnant and a witch, he got out of there faster than she could blink. Ms. Meyers has been struggling to make ends meet for years, plus Elton has grown up without a father figure. I don't know if my dad really counted as a father figure, but he was something.

After my parents had finally been carted off to Azkaban the summer after first year, Ms. Meyers let me stay at her house. She's better than any mum I could have ever hoped for.

"I'm so hungry. Skipped lunch to finish that bloody essay at Hagrid's house, so I need dinner now. What time is it?" I queried. Elton thought about, and then a slow smile crept over his face.

"Time for you to get a watch," he guffawed, but I crinkled my eyebrows in confusion.

"What the hell is a watch?"

"How am I supposed to know? Learned about it in bloody Muggle Studies just yesterday, didn't I?" I laughed along with him now as we walked down the last flight of stairs that would empty us into Sluggy's lair. Twisted man; he had decided to hate me after the whole thing with my parents being death eater, and so he hated Elton by association.

"Rebecca! Rebecca, wait for me," a feminine voice called. Elton turned to look over his shoulder seeing as we were the only ones on the staircase and neither of our names was Rebecca.

"Ginger alert, ginger alert." He waggled his eyebrows at me creepily. I sighed and gestured for him to go on without me. He readily complied. A common misconception about Lily Evans was that because the male population was in love with her, she was also well liked. That rumor is false. Lily has the temper of the Devil. She usually only inflicts it onto people who piss her off, so everyone stays out of her way in an attempt to not be verbally and sometimes physically assaulted.

I turn around quickly on my heel, almost tripping in the process. Lily was on the step above me, and she was out of breath. "Are you deaf? I've been calling your name for the past minute."

I huffed out again, blowing my bangs up farther on my head. "My name is not Rebecca, Evans."

Her eyes widened. "It's not? Since when?"

I looked at her and felt my mouth drop open in shock. Was I being punished for coming up with an actually quite brilliant plan to help myself out in the near and dear future? "Oh, you know, last week I just got so bored with- what the hell Evans? My name has been Amanda for the past seventeen years!"

She rolled her too bright eyes at me. I made a mental note to write it down when I got back to my dormitory: no sense of humor. Possible McGonagall protégée?

"You need to walk into class with me. Certain people are in the class need to see we're friends." I shrugged at her implication. She obviously meant Severus Snape, the only person she seemed to hate now that James and she appeared to be mates, and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. I think everyone but the Slytherins hate him though, so I'm not sure he counts.

"Let me get this straight, you're using me to anger dear old Snape?" She looked at me dead in the eye, then over my shoulder to the open Potions door.

"Yes, that's pretty accurate. Please don't be mad," she begged. I shrugged again, because Lily never ceased to add in something else new to the equation.

Expect the unexpected, I mentally noted.

"Not at all. Let's give them a show, shall we?" I hooked my arm through hers and dragged her into the classroom. Everyone looked up, even Snape. He wrinkled his hooked nose at me, and I thought of how closely he resembled a glob of oil in that exact moment.

"Git alert to your right," I mumbled. Lily giggled like I had told her the funniest joke in the world. It was actually quite convincing. We marched through the watching pairs of eyes and I plunked down into my normal seat next to Elton, heaving Lily into the normally empty seat next to me. Sirius and James, I noticed, were still absent. However, I only shared Transfiguration and Potions with them, so maybe they were…I don't know. They were obviously somewhere.

At least Remus had Peter in this class. Lily followed my stare to Remus, who made eye contact with her and they seemed to be having a non-verbal conversation that went a little something like this:

Remus: Why are you sitting over there?

Lily: Because Amanda is the nicest person I have ever met and you and Sirius have been replaced as my best friend.

I might have actually misinterpreted that last one, but Sluggy started his lesson and there was no use correcting myself now. He finished the instructions before I could even begin to stop droning him out, so I had no idea what was happening. I turned to ask Lily, but she had already gone to the supply cabinet, and when I turned to my right, Elton had left to. In fact, as I swiveled around in my seat, everyone seemed to know what we were doing except for me. Slughorn just gave me an evil look, so I bent beneath my desk to pretend to rummage through my bag.

"Stop stressing, Amanda," Lily said suddenly to my left, and it surprised me so much that I jerked my head up quickly. I pulled myself out from under the table, rubbing the back of my head carefully, but stopped when I recognized that Lily had not only gotten enough ingredients for herself, but for me as well.

"Lily, this could be the start of a beautiful fake friendship," I squealed excitedly, clapping my hands together with obnoxious abandon. She shushed me.

"Don't you know the concept of a secret? This isn't something everyone needs to know about," she warned me, ever so subtly jerking her head towards Snape who was eyeing us suspiciously. I bared my teeth at him, and he shook his head, but dropped his gaze. Hey, my methods might make me appear to be mental, but I get the job done.

"There are so many things I must teach you in order for us to be friends, Lils. The first thing, however, is that not only do I understand secrets, I basically coined the phrase." Elton appeared at my elbow to acknowledge Lily's presence.

"That's not an exaggeration. You might want to quit while you're ahead, Evans," Elton cautioned, winking at me. I shoved his shoulder, almost knocking his face into my now steaming pot of pale pink potion. He laughed and shrugged at her as if to say I told you so.

I looked back over my shoulder a couple minutes later to see that Snape was still eyeing me, watching me. It felt like I was being sized up. But I was Amanda Collins, and I wasn't going to let a wannabe death-eater judge me. He might not know my name, but I sure knew his. On top of completing my entry article for the Prophet, seducing Sirius Black, and finding a place to live after Hogwarts, I was so going find time to destroy Severus Snape.

Review, ducks!

Oh, I don't own the fantastic world of Harry Potter. I do own Amanda. And Elton.