Peyton knocked gently on the door of Nathan and Haley's house, and heard nine-year-old Jamie shouting that someone was at the door. She laughed at how normal that sounded - instead of getting the door himself, he'd call for someone else. Nathan used to do the same thing when he lived with Dan and Deb.
Lucas had dropped her off and told her of some errand he had to run, and that he'd be back later.
Haley swung the door open and shook her head in surprise. She had Matthew on her hip, but pulled Peyton into a one arm hug.
"Hi!" she said as they embraced. "Come in! What are you doing here?!"
"I'm surprising you, and stealing this baby, and loving him to death!" she joked, pulling the boy into her own arms.
"Did Nathan know you were here? Is that why he was acting so weird last night when I said I was going to call you?" Haley asked with a hand on her hip.
"He may have seen me yesterday," Peyton said, scrunching her nose, hoping she hadn't gotten Nathan in trouble. Haley just smiled and shook her head.
"Well. there's a message from me at your apartment that you can delete," she laughed.
Peyton was holding onto Matthew and smiling at him as his hand tangled in her hair. They walked into the living room where Jamie was playing some basketball video game.
"Jamie, look who's here?" Haley said sweetly.
The blonde boy spun his head around and a smile broke on his face. "Aunt Peyton!" he shouted, running towards her for a quick hug.
"Hey bud. How's it going?" she asked with a chuckle.
"Not bad. No school, so I'm just chillin'," he said nonchalantly, heading back to the sofa.
"Right on," Peyton laughed.
"Come on, I'll make some tea," Haley said, rolling her eyes at her son's words. He had clearly picked a few things up from Skills.
Peyton set the infant in his playpen and turned her attention back to Haley.
"Where are you staying? How long are you staying? Why are you here?" Haley asked the questions in rapid fire succession as she filled the kettle and reached for a couple mugs.
"I'm staying at Luke's, I'm here for...however long I want to be, and I'm here because my label was sold and I now have no job and no husband to go back to," she said matter-of-factly.
"Oh, Peyton. I'm sorry," Haley said softly, laying her hand over top of her friend's.
Haley had been a constant source of comfort for Peyton over the years, and especially in the wake of her separation and divorce. Haley always had kind and caring words and knew how to make Peyton feel better. It was cliché, she knew, but Haley was the one person she knew she could call no matter what, and be given the perfect motivational words. On the days when she'd found it hard to get out of bed, Haley, even in a 3 minute conversation, could help Peyton see the silver lining.
"Yeah. It kind of sucks, actually," she said with a slight laugh. It was as though she was just realizing how terrible things were in that moment. Maybe she was.
They stood like that in silence until the kettle whistled and Haley poured water into their mugs.
"It's great to have you here, though," she said with a smile as she handed Peyton a mug.
"Thanks. It's actually really nice to be back. I kind of just want to reconnect with myself again, if that makes any sense," she said.
"That totally makes sense. Sometimes you have to come home, right?" Haley said, smiling.
They spent the rest of their morning and early afternoon chatting and playing with the kids. They sat outside in the sun while Jamie showed his 'aunt' his basketball moves, and Matthew toddled around them.
If Jamie was identical to his uncle, Matthew was 100 per cent his father. He had the Scott blue eyes, and Nathan's dark hair. He even had the little dimple in his chin that Nathan had.
Peyton was about to comment on the similarities when Lucas drove up and their attention turned to him. He got out of his car and was looking back down the road in the direction he had come from. Haley and Peyton exchanged confused glances until they saw Nathan drive up in Peyton's old car.
"Lucas!" she shouted, walking towards her car. "What did you do!?"
"Just applied some of the skills I picked up working in the old shop," he said with a grin. "Your dad gave me the keys a while ago."
She threw her arms around him and whispered a thank you in his ear.
"Nathan even managed not to crash it this time!" he said sarcastically.
"Very funny, Lucas," he said, getting out of the car and walking over to hug Peyton.
"You helped?" she asked with a cocked eyebrow. He'd never been so mechanically inclined.
"Sure I did! I handed Luke the tools he needed," he explained, making them all laugh.
Jamie had run over to look at the vintage vehicle, and Haley had walked towards them with Matthew in her arms, who immediately reached out his little arms to be held by his father.
Peyton watched as Lucas opened the hood and pointed out the mechanics of the car to Jamie as the boy listened intently. She smiled at the sight. He'd always been great with kids - they were drawn to him - but something was different now. She suddenly could see him as a father, and she'd never truly seen that before. She was pulled from her thoughts when Nathan handed her the keys.
"Go on, Sawyer," he said. "Take her for a drive."
She smiled and waved goodbye to them, and pressed a kiss to Matthew's forehead, and walked towards her car.
"Mom, can I go with Peyton?" Jamie pleaded as Lucas slammed the hood shut. He chuckled at his nephew's desire to spend time with his 'aunt'.
Haley looked over to Peyton who was smiling and gave a nod.
"Sure, baby, but be good! You do what Peyton says," Haley shouted.
"I'll bring him back in a little bit," Peyton promised.
She smiled at Lucas as she got into the car and sat behind the wheel that she'd spent so many hours with her hands on. She asked Jamie if he was buckled in, and he gave her a thumbs up, and she pulled away from the curb with the top down, her hair blowing wildly in the wind.
"Where do you want to go?" she asked Jamie.
"I don't know. Just drive," he said with a smirk, making her laugh.
That's exactly what she felt like doing. No destination, no roadmap, or timeline or specific purpose. Just drive.
She popped a CD into the player and the sounds of Bob Marley flowed from the speakers. She looked over to Jamie again and he was bobbing his head and smiling. This was a moment she wouldn't soon forget.
----
Peyton was guiding the car down a back country road when Jamie turned to her, eyes full of questions.
"What's up, Jamie?" she asked, knowing he had something to say.
"How come you and uncle Luke never dated?" he asked innocently.
She laughed loudly and tried to cover it up by turning it into a cough. "I um...Luke and I are just friends. We're best friends."
"I know. But that's not what I asked," he said with a smile.
"You are too much like your mother, you know that?" she said, glancing over at him for a moment. "Your uncle Luke and I just have a really special friendship and we never wanted to mess that up by dating." She said the last word in a goofy voice, making Jamie giggle.
"Did you know my grandpa Dan?" he asked after a moment.
The expression on her face changed to a serious one. She had to choose her words carefully. She knew, based on conversations with Haley, that Jamie had always been curious about his grandfather, and she didn't want to say the wrong thing.
"Yeah, I knew Dan," she said stoically. "When I dated your dad, I spent a lot of time at their house."
"You dated my dad!?" he asked with wide eyes.
'Dammit,' she thought.
"Um, yeah. A long time ago. Before either of us met your mom," she explained delicately.
"Weird," he said simply. Thankfully, he dropped the subject, though she was sure she'd face questions from Nathan and Haley when their son told them what he'd heard.
She continued driving and soon they were heading back into Nathan and Haley's neighbourhood. She pulled up in front of their house again and walked Jamie to the door. She said goodbye to the Scotts and thanked Jamie for keeping her company, and promised she'd take him for another drive soon.
Then she got the hell out of there before Jamie told his parents what he'd learned from his aunt Peyton that afternoon, driving the back roads of town.
----
Peyton entered Lucas' house with the key he'd given her years earlier, and found a note on the kitchen table.
At the River Court, then hanging out with the guys. Back later. -Lucas
She decided to make herself a quiet dinner and dive back into the book he'd given her to read the night before.
She'd eaten and changed into her nightgown and settled onto the couch with Ray Lamontagne playing in the background and a light blanket over her lap, and she opened the book to the page where she'd left off.
She wasn't sure how long she'd been sitting there reading, but when Lucas walked in, she had tears in her eyes. She was moved by the book and the simple way the author had described the events.
Lucas saw the tears on her face, and heard her sniffle and went to kneel by the couch.
"Peyt.," he said softly, reaching out to wipe her cheek.
"It just got really sad," she explained.
"I know," he answered with a nod. "You OK?"
"Uh huh," she nodded, wiping the last of her tears.
"I'm going to have a shower," he said with a small smile, worried about leaving her.
She nodded again and he stood and made his way to the bathroom.
He hated himself for thinking it, but he loved that she'd cried over a book. A book he'd recommended, no less. He loved knowing she'd been touched by the same passages he had, and that her eyes had moved over the same words his had, and that her hands held the pages in the same places his had. Why was he thinking this? Why was the simple act of reading a book suddenly such a personal connection for them?
He walked from the shower holding his towel closed around his waist and she looked over when she heard him padding down the hall. He smiled at her when he caught her gaze, and went into his room to put on some clothes.
Peyton's only thought was 'Wow'. Of course, she'd seen him without a shirt on before, but not recently. She had noticed his body change over the years, but hadn't really taken the time to study it. For some reason, that's all she wanted to do after getting that glimpse. Her words to Jamie flooded back into her mind, and she reminded herself that they were just friends. Sure, he was attractive and fit and tanned, but he was Lucas. Her friend.
He walked out in a black wife beater and a pair of grey shorts. He saw her staring off into space and chuckled to himself before walking into the kitchen and getting them each a glass of water.
When he re-entered the living room, she was still lost in thought. It wasn't until he sat down at the end of the couch that she noticed him and chuckled nervously. She could feel the blush creeping to her cheeks, so she looked back down to the book in her hands.
After a couple minutes of just sitting there together, she couldn't take the silence any longer. He wasn't doing anything - just sitting next to her - and she was completely distracted. After reading the same sentence five times in a row, she closed the book and looked over at him.
"How are the guys?" she asked.
"Surprised that you're here," he said with a smirk. "How was your little road trip with James?"
"It was great. I love that kid," she said. She smiled remembering her day. "He's too smart for his own good, you know?"
"Oh, I know," he laughed. "What'd he say now?"
"Umm...well...he asked why you and I never dated," she said nervously. His laughter didn't put her at ease.
"How'd you answer that one?" he asked. He wasn't sure why, but part of him really wanted her to say that she didn't know why they never dated, or that she'd always wanted them to. But that thought was crazy. They were just friends. It had been his mantra for the past couple weeks. They were just friends.
"I told him our friendship is too special," she explained softly.
They sat in silence for a few moments letting those words sink in. He didn't want to ask the question, but it was something he'd been thinking about a lot. They'd never really talked about it, but he had to know.
"What do you think would have happened if you hadn't run away the night of Dan's party? Or if I hadn't started dating Brooke?" he asked, his eyes meeting hers.
"I don't know, Lucas," she said honestly. "But since we're not together, I don't think we were ever meant to be."
"Maybe," he said with a laugh.
"You're my best bud!" she said, playfully punching his shoulder. "I'm kind of glad things turned out the way they did."
Even as she said the words, something inside her wondered if she really meant them. What if she had stayed with him the night of the party? What if, somewhere along the line, before moving away and getting married and published novels and live-in girlfriends, they had acknowledged that their connection was a rare one. What if, that day in the library, she'd meant that 'I love you' differently? Or he'd interpreted it differently? There were too many what ifs flooding her mind, and she glanced at the clock, thankful that it showed an acceptable hour to head to bed.
"I'm going to get some sleep," she announced, pulling her legs down off the couch and standing.
"OK. Goodnight," he said with a smile. It was a fake one, and he was thankful that her back was to him. He didn't want her to see the disappointment on his face after learning that she was glad they never dated.
Peyton laid down in bed and as soon as her head hit the pillow, she couldn't stop herself from thinking of how close he was. He was in the next room. He'd be sleeping so close to her, but on his own. She shouldn't be thinking of another man. She was a divorcée. Divorcée. The word sounded terrible. It was a word she'd always hated. Now she was one. She rolled onto her side and let a tear fall onto the pillow. She had no idea where it had come from.
Lucas made his way to his bedroom and pulled back the sheets on his side of the bed. His side. The entire bed was his side now. Except for the previous evening when she'd sat with him and read for a couple hours before retiring to her room. He shouldn't want to share a bed with his best friend. That longing shouldn't be there. But dammit, he wanted her next to him for reasons that he still couldn't explain.
They were just friends.