Peyton woke up early, relieved to hear that the rest of the house was quiet. She quickly got dressed and threw a few things in a bag. She had to get out of the house before he woke up. She was embarrassed and nervous about the night before, and she couldn't face him yet.
She grabbed her car keys and tiptoed out of her room and down the hall to the front door. She got into her car and drove away from his house, forcing herself to take deep breaths, and hoping she hadn't ruined everything.
She decided to get lost for a couple hours - literally. She drove down roads that she had no clue where they led. She just wanted to avoid all the places he might go. She needed to clear her head and kill time until she could call Brooke and drop in on her friend to shower and spend the day there. She hoped that Brooke wouldn't pick up on the tension.
Lucas had heard her drive away and could only close his eyes and shake his head. He wanted to say he was surprised, but he wasn't. It was Peyton. Running was her signature move. She'd come back in a couple hours, they'd talk, and then he'd assess the damage.
He'd done something stupid. He shouldn't have let her kiss him. She was confused and he was there. She'd had a rough couple months and he'd been the one to take care of her, and she must have confused that for something else.
But he wanted to kiss her. He wanted to kiss her after she'd left him alone in his room, and he'd wanted to kiss her when he woke up. He forgot what her kisses were like. No one affected him like Peyton.
---
Peyton had taken a quick shower at Brooke's, and entered the kitchen to find Brooke there with a cup of coffee in her hands, and one on the counter for Peyton.
"Thanks," she said, taking a sip of the steaming liquid.
"OK, not that I mind, but how come you're showering here and not at Luke's?" Brooke asked, dying to know what was going on.
"Oh. He was in there when I left." Lie. "And I wanted to come talk to you about something." Subject change.
"What's up?" Brooke asked, leaning forward on the counter.
"Well, I've kind of been looking into starting my own label," she started, and watched her friend's eyes go wide. "So I wanted to talk to the only person I know who's started two successful companies."
"Wow. First of all, that's amazing. Second of all, I will help you any way I can," Brooke offered with a smile. "Where'd you come up with this crazy idea anyway?"
"Luke," Peyton said, looking into her coffee cup. She smiled. He had known what she wanted even before she had.
"Where are you going to do this?" Brooke asked softly, gently prying to see if Peyton was planning on going back to Chicago any time soon.
"I um...I was kind of thinking I'd maybe do it here," she said with a shrug. Brooke's gaping mouth eventually turned into a smile.
The two spent the rest of the day talking about the potential business and their work lives. Brooke had shown Peyton some new sketches and a magazine feature she'd been in. Emma was a welcome addition to the day. It felt great for both of them, reconnecting with each other and talking about something other than the divorce. Peyton realized just how selfish she'd been over the past couple months, and offered an apology. In true best friend fashion, Brooke had said she hadn't been selfish, and that if she ever needed anything at all, Peyton could always turn to her, no matter what.
Around 3:00, Peyton's phone rang. It was Lucas. Brooke noted the look on Peyton's face, but didn't comment.
"Hey," she answered, offering Brooke an apologetic smile.
"Hey. I was just wondering if you're going to be around for dinner," he inquired.
"I um...I don't think so. I'm just spending the day with Brooke, so we'll probably do something together." Brooke looked at Peyton with confusion in her eyes.
"OK, well I'll see you later then," he said. Peyton could tell he was trying to be nonchalant, but that he wanted to see her as badly as she wanted to see him. Well, the part of her that wasn't desperate to avoid him wanted to see him.
"Alright. I'll call if I'm going to be late or something," she offered.
"Sure. Bye, Peyton." He'd hung up before she could respond.
She looked to Brooke who'd raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for the details.
"Looks like I'm buying you dinner," Peyton chuckled.
"Why exactly did that sound like an old school, sexual tension-filled, Tree Hill High, Lucas and Peyton conversation?" Brooke asked.
"It's nothing, Brooke," she insisted.
"Please, Peyton. Is staying at Casa de Lucas bringing back some of those old feelings?" she asked excitedly.
"Oh my God! You and Nathan must have compared notes or something!"
"No. We're just on team Leyton," Brooke smirked. Peyton looked at her like she was insane. "You know. Naley, Leyton..."
"Right," Peyton laughed.
"You are so avoiding the question," Brooke said.
"That's because there's nothing going on," Peyton insisted.
All she'd wanted to do all day was gush about the boy she'd kissed and tell her best friend all the details. It was just all...too messy at the moment. She knew that, of all people, Brooke would understand. But she felt like that teenaged girl again. She felt like a kiss was a huge deal. It had always felt that way with Lucas.
---
The girls had ordered in Chinese for an early dinner and by 6:00, Peyton was on her way back to Lucas' house.
She turned off the engine in the driveway and sat for a moment, collecting her thoughts before making her way to the front door and walking inside. She noticed him sitting on the couch with his feet up on the cushions, reading a book.
"Hey," she said quietly, blush already creeping to her cheeks at the sight of him.
"Hi," he offered back. He didn't raise his head to look at her, she noticed. It convinced her that she'd messed everything up. This was going to be a long night.
She began walking towards her bedroom when his voice stopped her.
"So instead of avoiding me for the rest of the evening, why don't you come sit down and talk to me?" he said, his eyes still fixed on the book in front of him.
She took a deep breath and made her way to the couch. He moved his feet to the floor and she sat down next to him and tucked her legs beneath her.
"I wasn't avoiding you..." He tilted his head and raised his brow, finally looking at her. "OK, maybe a little bit."
"Why?" he asked softly. There was a tinge of pain in his voice that she wanted to erase as soon as she'd heard.
"I'm kind of embarrassed," she admitted, grabbing a pillow that had sat between them and pulling it onto her lap.
"Why are you embarrassed?" he asked with a laugh. Laughing, he realized, may not have been the best move.
"I just...we...we're...we don't kiss, Luke!" she stuttered.
"We certainly did last night," he said, a satisfied smirk breaking on his lips. She tossed the pillow at him and he laughed again.
She wondered how a conversation like this that, for a lot of reasons, should have been so uncomfortable, could still be playful and fun and just...them. She didn't know if it was that they were so close, or if maybe he'd wanted to kiss her as much as she'd wanted to kiss him.
"So why'd you ambush me, then?" he teased. She glared at him before she spoke.
"I just...It felt right," she said, looking to her hands again. "You kissed back."
"Yeah, I did." She didn't look up, and he was thankful, because he knew she was going to be hurt by what came next. "Maybe I shouldn't have. You are really vulnerable right now, and I am not going to take advantage of that."
She looked up at him and he couldn't tell what emotion was on her face. That scared him. He'd always been able to read her better than anyone, but he couldn't this time.
"I appreciate you taking care of me, Luke, but I know how I feel, OK?" she said, somewhat defensively. "I understand what you're saying, but I'm a big girl. I can make my own choices." She waited for a moment before continuing. "I don't know why I thought you wanted the same thing."
Her last comment killed him. He felt his heart fall. He wanted it - probably more than she did.
"Peyton, our friendship means everything to me. I just don't want anything to come between us. Ever." He punctuated the last word when he spoke and the corners of her lips curled ever-so-slightly. "I won't be your rebound, because I can't lose you."
"Rebound?" she asked, taken aback. "You think I'd risk a 10 year friendship that's survived all that we've been through for a rebound?"
"Maybe not knowingly," he said. He noticed anger flood her green eyes and knew he'd just said all the wrong things.
"You could give me a little more credit than that, Luke." She stood from the sofa and walked into the kitchen. All he wanted to do was kiss her again and feel her breath against his skin, but he knew better. However, she was adamant that she knew what she was doing.
He heard her phone ring and unabashedly eavesdropped on the call.
When she saw that it was Brooke calling, she spoke perhaps a little louder than she needed to.
"Hey Brooke. Miss me already?" she answered.
"Peyton, I have good news!"
"What's that?" Peyton asked, intrigued.
"I got us a double date for tomorrow night!" Brooke squealed.
"Um...Brooke, I don't know," Peyton protested. All she could think about was the man she'd just left in the other room. Then she remembered all the things he'd just said to her.
"He's some weird artist. You'll love him! He's a friend of Dave's. You know? Dave who I've been trying to work out a date with for weeks?" Brooke practically begged Peyton to accept.
"Well, as your only single friend, I suppose I have to. He's an artist?" she repeated, for no reason other than to make it clear to Lucas that she was going on a date. It was childish and silly, but it gave her a momentary victory.
"Yeah. Come to my place tomorrow. They're picking us up at 7:30," Brooke instructed.
"OK. I'll see you then," Peyton said, then hung up the phone. She turned around to see Lucas standing in the doorway behind her.
"What was that?" he asked.
"Nothing," she said nonchalantly, filling a glass with water.
"You're a terrible liar," he pointed out, crossing his arms on his chest.
"It was Brooke. We're going out tomorrow night," she said.
"What are you doing?" he asked, perturbed.
"I don't know. Dinner I guess," she said, turning to face him just in time to see him roll his eyes and shake his head.
"No. What are you doing going on a date?" he clarified.
"Well, I guess if you're not going to be my rebound, I have to find someone else," she sneered, and walked past him on her way to her room.
"You didn't tell her about us?" he asked. He was surprised. Peyton and Brooke told each other everything.
"No," she said, turning to face him again as she stood just inside the door of her room.
"Why?"
"Because it's none of her business, Luke. And there really is no us, is there?" She waited for him to respond, and when he didn't, she closed the door on his face to leave him standing alone in the hallway.
Why couldn't he just tell her that he wanted her? It was scary to him to admit that, but it's what he wanted. All of her. The feelings had come so quickly that they still surprised him. He thought about running into her room and telling her that she couldn't go out with this guy, whoever he was. He wanted to tell her that he wanted her to stay home with him. He wanted her there with him all the time. But he couldn't. He should have known that any relationship with Peyton Sawyer was going to be a complicated one.
He just hoped he still had any relationship with her at all.