Hey there, sorry to keep you all waiting. :) Here's the next chapter, hope you'll like it!
Inside the room, Rukia was saying, "Are you sure?" Then after a brief pause, she added, "Why do you have clothes all over the place?"
There was the sound of clothes being picked up and thrown—most likely into Ichigo's laundry hamper, from the sound of it. "Was, uh, trying out a couple of outfits to see which one looks better," the boy said.
It took all of Renji's willpower not to snort out loud at the excuse. He imagined that the tips of Ichigo's ears must be bright red by now, and wondered if Rukia would notice.
He saw Rukia's eyebrows arch dramatically, clearly not believing Ichigo, but she didn't probe further. Knowing Ichigo, if he wanted to keep quiet about something, no amount of persuading would get him to open up, and Rukia knew the boy better than anyone.
Rukia disappeared from Renji's field of vision, then Ichigo appeared at the window, looking out with a worried frown. No doubt the boy was wondering where Renji was. Ichigo lingered at the window for a bit longer, then Yuzu's voice rang from downstairs, announcing dinner time. Ichigo clenched his jaw and tried to stall, obviously not wanting to leave until he knew where Renji had gone. But then Rukia appeared and dragged the boy away from the window.
Just before Ichigo let go of the windowsill, Renji saw the boy's shoulders sag in defeat. Then, he disappeared from view.
Renji leaned his head back against the wall and let out a relieved sigh. He never thought he'd one day use the word love to describe his feelings towards Urahara Kisuke—okay, perhaps love is too strong a word, but at the moment he had the insane urge to hug the man, because without the man's brilliant mind, he would not have been able to escape like he just did.
Two days ago, the sneaky former captain had "persuaded" Renji—using a mixture of bribery and threats—to try out a prototype gigai that he had just developed. The secret of this prototype is a tiny button at the back of the gigai's ear—once triggered, a small shield would appear around the entire gigai and create an optical illusion. In other words, the gigai would become invisible. At the same time, it also automatically triggered a reiatsu suppressor, effectively concealing the presence of the wearer of the gigai. The technology was designed as an emergency defense mechanism, but Renji believed that he had just found another use for it.
Earlier, the second he heard Rukia's footsteps arrive in front of Ichigo's door, he hit the button and hopped out of the window. When Rukia flung open the door, Renji was in fact only partially out of the room. It was horrifyingly degrading having to escape like this—naked, no less, and he was in so much pain at the time that he now wondered how he managed to get from the window onto the roof without tumbling over the edge.
Now that Ichigo and Rukia were both gone, Renji finally uncurled his tense body. The pain from being kneed in the groin had decreased somewhat, but was still bad enough to impede his movements, so he decided to sit there and rest until he felt well enough to make his way back to Urahara's shop. He felt horribly exposed sitting there naked, so, after a moment of hesitation, he got out of his gigai. Now fully clothed in his standard-issue shihakusho, he continued to sit on the roof, holding his still-invisible gigai in one hand.
As he gradually calmed down, he couldn't help feeling a stab of anger in his gut—for being subjected to such a demeaning situation, and at the reason that led to this situation in the first place. But he knew there was no use talking to Ichigo about it, not only because the boy was stubborn, but because Renji didn't want to come off as a needy lover begging to be publicly acknowledged. He was no Kuchiki Byakuya, but he still had pride, and he would die before anyone perceived him that way.
The throbbing between his legs finally tapered off to a bearable level, and with a tired sigh, he heaved his gigai onto one shoulder and flash-stepped to Urahara Shoten.
By the third day of Renji's absence, Ichigo was certain that the redhead was avoiding him on purpose. Renji had not stopped by his room at all after the incident, and every time Ichigo went to Urahara's shop, he was told that the redhead was out on patrol. It wasn't unusual that Renji was busy, but three consecutive days was bordering on ridiculous. Unless Renji had gone back to Soul Society for his routine check-in, there was really nothing here that should keep him that occupied. And Ichigo knew that Renji was not in Soul Society because Rukia said she could sense the redhead's presence in the town.
Ichigo sat on the low step at the entrance of Urahara Shoten and waited. Urahara had told him that Renji came home every night to sleep at the shop and had offered to let him wait inside, but Ichigo had declined. He knew that once he got ahold of the redhead, it would be one conversation that he would rather have in private, and there was nowhere private under Urahara's roof.
When Renji finally arrived at the compound of his temporary home, the first thing he noticed was a shock of bright orange hair. He stopped in his tracks, then relaxed slightly when he saw that Ichigo's head was nestled face-down between his folded arms, which were in turn resting on bent knees. The boy appeared to be sleeping.
Ichigo was right; Renji had been avoiding him. Renji had thought that things would go back to normal after he'd calmed down, but he later realized that the close call with Rukia had affected him more than he cared to admit. He was quite confused, really, by the mixed emotions he was feeling. It wasn't like they hadn't had close calls before, but something about having to escape naked had hurt him deeply. He was angry, naturally, but was also feeling a bunch of other emotions that he didn't quite understand. Disappointment, perhaps. And even something bordering on disgust—at himself for stooping so low, and at Ichigo for putting him in such a situation. But he wasn't sure what all this meant, so, for lack of other options, he stayed away from the boy.
Renji sighed. It looked like there was no choice now but to face Ichigo. He knew he couldn't avoid it forever, but he had been dreading it. He was sure Ichigo would apologize, and he knew that he would give in eventually after seeing the boy's pained expression, then after that the whole vicious cycle would repeat itself.
So, it was with a sense of foreboding that the redhead finally approached Ichigo. "Oi," he said, kicking Ichigo's foot lightly.
The boy's head shot up, brown eyes wide with sudden alertness. He rubbed his face, seemingly surprised that he had fallen asleep. "Renji!" he said, shooting to his feet. His eyes lit up with relief at seeing Renji, then the momentary look of happiness was replaced by a big scowl. "Where the hell have you been?"
Renji gave Ichigo a tired smile. "Doing my job," he said with a shrug. He climbed up the step and slid the door open. Stepping across the threshold, he noticed that Ichigo remained where he was. "You coming in?"
"No," Ichigo replied. The boy's hands were in his pants pockets, and he absent-mindedly kicked the little pebbles by his feet. His brows were furrowed. "Can we..." he began. He looked up at Renji, then quickly averted his gaze. He was a picture of awkwardness. "Can we talk?" When Renji simply stared at him blankly, Ichigo added, "Somewhere else?"
Renji hesitated for a split second before stepping back outside. It wasn't too surprising that Ichigo didn't want to talk inside, he supposed. There were too many prying ears. "Where do you want to go?"
"Follow me," Ichigo said. Then, without waiting for Renji, he walked off, hands still deep inside his pockets.
Renji stared at the boy's back for a few seconds, then, with a sigh, followed.
Renji sat down next to Ichigo. The boy was staring straight at the river, eyes downcast and jaw clenched tightly. The redhead sighed. This was going to be one difficult conversation.
"This is where my mom was killed," Ichigo said suddenly, breaking the silence that had settled over the two of them.
Renji nodded. "I know." Rukia had told him about it.
After that, the awkward silence returned. Something about this reminded Renji of the confrontation they had on the roof back then, back when things had just started to get complicated, back when they ended up confessing their feelings for each other. Except, he had a feeling that this conversation would not end up with such favorable results. Somehow, he knew that this was going to be a turning point for the two of them.
"I'm sorry about the other day," Ichigo muttered, eyes glued to his own feet.
Renji smiled. "Yeah, I couldn't walk properly for an entire hour," he said. He was pretty sure that Ichigo wasn't referring to that specifically, but he didn't want to be the first one to touch the meat of the issue. It was simply a desperate attempt to delay the inevitable, but he couldn't stop himself.
Ichigo shot him a look. "You know I'm not talking about that."
Renji remained silent.
"I don't know how you got away," Ichigo continued. His hand went up to fidget with his hair. "I'm sorry I let you leave like that. I feel really bad about it."
"Yeah, well," Renji said. "At least Rukia didn't catch us."
Ichigo turned to look at his friend. He caught the bitter undertone in Renji's voice. He knew the exact cause for it, but he also knew it was something he couldn't solve. Well, he technically could, but for reasons that he must not disclose to Renji, he couldn't. "I'm sorry," he said again.
Renji didn't respond for a long time. When he finally did, his voice was low and uncharacteristically serious. "Is that all?" he asked.
Ichigo clenched his fists. No, of course that's not all. He could sense that Renji was slipping away with each passing minute, he desperately wanted to cling to the man and beg him to stay, but then he would just be selfish. "I'm sorry," he repeated.
Renji thought he heard his own heart crack. It wasn't quite broken, because he knew Ichigo loved him, even if the boy rarely told him that in words. It was clear in Ichigo's body language, the physical connection and the passion between them. They shared something precious, that much was certain. But he had always known that there was something not quite right, both of them knew, but they chose to dance around it. When you have to hide your affection for someone, it was just a time bomb waiting to explode.
And he was damn near to exploding right now. In fact, perhaps he already had.
"Okay," he said, keeping his voice steady even as he began to feel nauseous. His stomach clenched as if he was physically ill. "Well, I guess we've said all we have to say."
They had said practically nothing, yet at the same time had said so much. Ichigo initiating this conversation was a clear indication that he knew Renji was upset, and that he had a good idea what the redhead was upset about, but was opening the floor for discussion in case it was something else. Renji's silence during the conversation was a confirmation of Ichigo's assumption, and Ichigo's refusal to directly address the issue was...well, as the saying goes, the ball was in Renji's court now.
And as Renji stood up, Ichigo understood with a sinking heart what Renji's decision was.
He had lost Renji.
*sniff* Hopefully I've gotten some of you to feel sad for them.