I don't want you guys to be sad for too long. ;) Here's the next chapter.
Rukia inched open the door as carefully as she could, then slipped into Ichigo's room. It was already late by the time she finished talking to Renji, she figured that Ichigo was probably asleep. Her eyebrows arched when she noticed that the bed was empty. She looked around the room curiously, then finally found the boy.
Ichigo was sitting at his desk, shoulders slumped over the smooth surface of the desk, head nestled in the crook of one elbow. Books and paper for his school assignments were crushed underneath his arms.
Tiptoeing lightly, Rukia picked up Ichigo's jacket and gently draped it over the boy's back. As she did so, she peeked at Ichigo's face—he appeared to be in deep sleep. She noticed that the ink below his elbow was smeared, the paper discolored, and she sighed.
Leaving Ichigo at his desk, she sat at the edge of his bed and pondered her options. She was quite certain that she understood correctly why Ichigo would rather risk losing his relationship with Renji than to make it known, and her heart ached. It was just like Ichigo...always selfless, always deathly protective of the ones around him, and always thinking that he needed to bear every burden by himself.
She had wanted to tell Renji her suspicion, but at the last minute decided against it. She knew that if she were to tell Renji about it, he would immediately confront the boy and demand to know if it's true, then if it did turn out to be true...well, Rukia didn't want to see her childhood friend bash Ichigo's head in for being stupid. She needed to handle this carefully.
"R-rukia?" Ichigo's sleepy voice startled Rukia, and she immediately hopped onto her feet. Ichigo rubbed his eyes and yawned. "What's wrong?"
Rukia looked at the dark circles beneath the boy's eyes. How should she approach the subject? Her brows furrowed as she thought frantically. Now was as good a time as any to make her move...
After a brief silence, Rukia cleared her throat. "I just talked to Renji," she said, keeping an eye on Ichigo's face.
"Yeah?" Ichigo muttered, straightening up in his chair. Turning away from Rukia, he swept the various pieces of paper together to make a neat little stack, which he then placed to one corner of his desk. After that was done, he turned around. "And?"
Rukia hesitated. She was planning to take the same route as she did with Renji, as in, to tell the boy that Renji was sad and all that, but as she looked at Ichigo's obviously fake I'm-okay face, she felt a sudden surge of impatience.
"Why, Ichigo?" she asked directly. "Why didn't you tell me that you and Renji are together?"
Color drained from Ichigo's face. "H-how..." he stuttered, not bothering to deny it in his shock.
Rukia waved her hand dismissively. "How I know is not important," she said. "I want to know why."
Ichigo stared blankly at her for a few more seconds, then a determined look suddenly settled on his face. "I'm not telling you," he said.
Rukia advanced towards the boy. "I'm not going to just sit here on my ass while two of the most precious people in my life wilt away because of their own sheer stupidity!" she hissed fiercely.
Ichigo frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"It's because you think you'll endanger him if the enemy found out that he's special to you, isn't it?" There. Rukia had voiced out her suspicion. Now it was just a matter of whether Ichigo would admit it or not.
The boy clenched his jaw but didn't respond to the question, but—briefly as it was—Rukia caught the boy's eyes widen in shock before returning to normal. There it was; the confirmation that she needed.
Rukia threw her arms in the air in exasperation. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, a voice rang at the window behind her.
"Is it true?"
Ichigo's heart sank as Renji climbed into his room through the window. The man's eyes looked tired, but they still looked fierce when narrowed like that. If Renji had hackles, they would be raised right now. As it was, his face was dark, fists clenched, jaw tight...he looked downright pissed.
"Is it true?" Renji repeated.
Eye wide in alarm, Rukia held out her hands to stop Renji from coming nearer, but Renji simply grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the way.
"Stop, Renji!" Rukia cried, grabbing the hand on her wrist and pulling, still trying to stop her friend from approaching Ichigo.
Ichigo stood up from his chair to face his angry friend. "So what if it is?" he asked quietly.
"Damn you, Ichigo!" Renji burst out, letting go of Rukia. "You have to stop thinking that you have to fucking protect everyone around you all by yourself!" He closed their distance in two long strides, and his hand shot out to grab the collar of Ichigo's t-shirt. Yanking the boy closer to face him, Renji snarled, "Why are you so stupid?"
Rukia threw herself at Renji and tugged at his arm, the one holding Ichigo's shirt. "Let go, Renji! Don't fight, please!"
"Rukia, please leave," Renji said without looking at her.
"No! I'm not going to let you guys—" Rukia began to protest, then her voice died when Renji turned and looked at her. Something in his eyes made her stop struggling.
"Please." Renji said calmly.
Rukia took in a deep breath and looked at Ichigo. The boy gave her a small smile and a nod.
"Okay," she finally said, backing away from the two men reluctantly. She supposed she should leave. After all, she had done her part—it didn't quite turn out the way she'd intended it to, but at least she managed to get the two of them talking, sort of.
Everything after this was up to them now.
The moment the door clicked closed, Renji let go of Ichigo's t-shirt, but he didn't back away from the boy. And Ichigo, for his part, stood his ground as well and did not move away from Renji.
After a long silence, Ichigo finally said in a small voice, "I'm sorry."
Renji slammed his fist into Ichigo's desk. "Enough with the sorries!" he said fiercely. "Why couldn't you just let me make this decision myself? I don't give a fuck even if it means wearing a neon sign yelling 'come get me if you want Kurosaki Ichigo', and you of all people should know that!"
"That's the problem!" Ichigo yelled, also slamming his fist on his desk. "I know you don't care, but I do!" He stood there staring at Renji, breathing heavily, shoulders trembling from emotions. For a moment neither man spoke. Then, Ichigo sighed and added softly, "I can't afford to lose you, like how I lost my mom."
After saying that, Ichigo backed up and leaned against his closet. As if his legs could no longer bear his weight, he slid slowly to the floor. When he was finally in a sitting position, he brought his knees to his chest. Looking at Renji, he said in a tired tone, "I bring bad luck, Renji. Everyone I care about ends up hurt or dead."
"That's not true," Renji said, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Look at my mom, and Rukia! I nearly got her killed!" Ichigo cried. "And my sisters! Hollows always target them because of me! Why do you think you and Rukia are stationed here in Karakura? It's because I'm here and they think that Aizen would come and attack me!"
There was a flash of movement, then Ichigo was suddenly yanked to his feet by the collar again. Renji was so angry that his hand shook as he pressed the boy's back against the closet door. "And do you see anyone complaining about that?" he asked hoarsely. "Does anyone blame you for your mother's death? She gave up her life to save you because she loved you! Rukia protected you because she loved you! And you know your sisters would not even dream of having someone else as their brother!"
Ichigo's eyes blurred as Renji's words sank in. "Why did you think Rukia surrendered herself to Gotei 13 last time? It was because Byakuya threatened to kill me," he whispered. He paused for a moment, then continued, "It works both ways, Renji. If they know that you're my...you know, they could hurt you, kill you, because they'd know how much that would hurt me, and at the same time they can use me to manipulate you. That's why I can't let anyone know."
Renji's fist tightened. "And you think that I'll be all safe and happy if the enemy thinks that I'm just another regular shinigami, one of the many in Soul Society?" he spat. "Don't be stupid, Ichigo. This is war, and war doesn't care who you are. And even if what you say does happen, I'm strong enough."
"But I'm not." The unwelcomed tears finally overflowed and slid down Ichigo's cheeks.
Renji stared at the heartbroken boy in front of him. Ichigo's lips were quivering but he could tell that the boy was fighting hard to hold up a brave front. As tears flowed down Ichigo's face, Renji felt his anger being washed away along with them.
"Don't be stupid," he said, softer this time. "You're not as weak as you think you are." Then he leaned in and pressed his lips against Ichigo's.
Mystery solved, hopefully it sounds logical?
Hint: Next chapter will be sour and sweet, like a certain type of citrusy fruit...hmmm ;)