Chapter 3
So... This story is reminding me why I don't do angst. I get so into the characters I feel what I'm writing. And currently, I feel depressed. Not fun.
Contains suicide and angst, which is a new thing I'm trying. The angst, not the suicide.
DISCLAIMER: Not SM, but I do like the characters she created. My dog also enjoyed the book, this fact proven when I found her cuddled with it, bite marks galore. I bought a new one.
We finally leave. The funeral home isn't far from the house and we all take the same car, something Alice suggests. I said we should take separate cars in case anyone wanted to go straight home, but no one paid any attention to me. Of course not.
So, we pile into Jasper's new truck and head out. Jasper drives, Esme sits shotgun because Elders or something along those lines, forcing Alice in the back with me. I'm silent on the drive, giving Jasper minimal directions and soon enough, we're parking. Esme and Alice kept up a steady conversation and Jasper hummed to the song on the radio. I sat there, staring blankly out the window as memories unwillingly flashed through my mind. I somehow always landed on the "I'm going to die" memory.
Coincidentally.
Sure.
Carlisle meets us outside the building and Esme hangs onto him for dear life. Alice clutches Jasper's hand and takes a dramatic deep breath. The couples walk to the awning where Rose and Emmett wait. I linger by the truck for a second longer than usual, but then straighten my shoulders and close my eyes letting the cold envelope me. I shiver as the tingles run through my body. Pain recedes. All feeling eliminates itself, leaving me numb.
Finally ready, I make my way towards the doors. Everyone is gathered around in the cramped area, the room where the viewing will be has been locked until I've arrived. I had to walk to the casket and place flowers and light the candle before anyone could come in and gather around. There was a large TV on one of the walls playing a slide show of memories. I had to look away from our smiling faces and walk in the direction of the office in the back. Where I was told to go.
I knock on the doors and take a deep breath as it opens to reveals a short, perspiring man. He gives me a slight smile and offers his condolences. I nod and return a tight smile. He leads me back the way I came and I ignore the eyes I feel as he leads me to the viewing doors. He takes a key and a hanky out, wiping his face, then opening the door. We walk inside and he closes it behind him. A knock sounds out and he opens again to reveal Esme. She gives me a small smile and I shake my head. Her smile disappears, but she nods and backs away. The man closes the door.
He leads me down the small aisle and I avoid looking straight ahead, but I still see in my peripheral the casket and the pale figure. I close my eyes when I make it to the front, but my hand reaches out on its own accord and touches the cold wood.
Everything is cold.