This Chapter is for Kelly! Thank you so much for your feedback! This is the emotional journey for Nick I tweed about a few weeks back. I really love this chapter. Its one of my favorites.

Xoxo H

I don't own the secret circle. I own Amanda!

Nick POV

The Circle gathered at the gate of the old Cemetery, where our parents were buried and where Black John had been resurrected from his mound of a grave. I felt uneasy as I hadn't been back since and I never visited my parents. As proud as I I had become of them since finding out why they passed away, I was still a little angry. I hear my Aunt Grace talk about my dad all the time and I wish I knew him. I still felt like I missed out on so much and it was a hurt I knew I would never get over, a hurt that had defined me for so long. I looked over at Amanda as the last of the Circle, Faye and Suzan, arrived. Just looking at her was comforting. Her warm, sympathetic smile made me feel like everything was going to be ok. Diana led the silent circle down the path to a where a small crowd was gathered not too far from where our parents were buried. "Sean's mother must want him close to his father" I assumed whispering to Amanda. She just squeezed my hand as we took out places with our circle behind the small crowd that consisted of Sean's mom, Melanie's Great Aunt Quincy, Laurel's Aunt Constance, Mrs. Franklin who was Adam's Grandmother, my Aunt Grace and Chris and Doug's mother and some other adults I didn't recognize relatives perhaps. In the center of the crowd was black metallic casket topped with a few flowers. I couldn't believe that Sean was inside there. I wasn't too close with Sean I let him tag along a lot of the time out of obligation, however, he was a nice kid and I was going to miss him. My eyes, along with everyone else's, were wet by the time the short service ended. The circle gathered with the Crones and Aunt Grace pulled me aside.

Her face was thoughtful and she said quietly "after what we talked about last night, you may want to take Amanda over and introduce her to your parents". I looked at her blankly. "Aunt Grace I have never visited them ever". She just smiled and said "Nicholas, how can you move toward the future when you haven't faced the past?. I just looked her and whispered the wetness coming back to my eyes "I don't know how to this" I admitted. I was feeling extremely vulnerable and that was a feeling I was definitely not used to. Aunt Grace patted me on the back softly "you will know what to do" and she walked away.

When I rejoined the Circle Diana was saying that everyone was going to go home and change and then meet at the beach. They started walking back up the path and I grabbed Amanda's hand to stop her from walking ahead. "are you guys coming?" Deborah called. "we will catch up with you later" I said and Amanda looked at me with curiosity in her eyes. I waited for the group to walk away and I said to Amanda "come with me I'd like you to meet someone". She didn't say anything as we walked across a few rows of headstones until we were at the row of stones in front of the fence and down to the end of the row and I stopped in front of the two stones furthest to the left. I looked down at the stones Nicholas Armstrong 1951-1976 and Sharon Armstrong 1953-1976. "These are your parents" Amanda choked. I nodded as a tear escaped from my eyes. As we stood there quietly I put my arm around her and she hugged close to my side letting me know that it was ok. I didn't want to speak to my parents out loud as I didn't want to lose it or give away my plans for the future as I didn't want to put her on the spot. I dint even know what to say. They died when I was a baby and I never knew them except for what Aunt Grace told me. Witches didn't like their pictures taken and I only had one picture of my mom and dad with me from the day I was born. I looked a lot like my father.

As we stood there the September sun shone through a cloud and I smiled. I took that as a sign that they were listening to my thoughts. I know I have never visited you before and I am so sorry about that, I thought. For a long time I was so angry at both of you for leaving me the way you did. I felt the tears start to spill from my face and Amanda squeezed me which was exactly what I needed to keep going, to face the past as Aunt Grace has said. I'm not as angry anymore since I learned what you were doing the night of the fire. I am proud of you for that, though still sad that I missed out on knowing you. I took a deep breath and continued my thoughts. I'm pretty sure you've been keeping an eye on me over the years and I want you to know that I really am OK. I'm not the withdrawn, cold guy I was a few months ago. I'm embracing magic and am finally feeling comfortable and close with my circle. I half smiled; the reason why things have changed is because of the person that is standing right next to me. Her name is Amanda and she is the love of my life. She makes me want to be a better person and she has opened up a side of me I never knew was there. Aunt Grace says this change reminds her so much of you, dad, when you were my age. Aunt Grace has really been great over the years but she's not my mom. I wish I knew you mom I wish I knew both of you. I want to make you both proud. I wish you guys could meet Amanda and see how truly happy we are and how much we belong together. This is the person that I plan on spending the rest of my life with and it just sucks that you can't be here. I didn't realize I was sobbing until I felt a strong hand on my left shoulder. I looked up and didn't see anyone but I felt it. I felt the presence of my father and my mother. I knew they were standing with me and Amanda and I knew that from this point on I could move toward my future with an acceptance of the past.

Amanda POV

Standing at the cemetery with Nick after Sean's service was intense. I knew that he had never been to visit his parents and this was huge for him. I just stood there, supporting him the best I could. I don't know how long we were standing there or what was going through his head. I was thinking about my own mom and how much I missed her. Grateful that I got a chance to know her even if it was just for a short time. My heart ached for Nick as I watched him finally face the pain that burdened him for so long. He started sobbing and I gave him a big a hug and let him cry. It was odd to see him so vulnerable; however, this is something he definitely needed. When I was holding him I could have sworn I felt arms wrap around us, I looked over my shoulder and no one was there. I could feel a presence, his parents, I assumed and I smiled knowing that everything was going to be ok. He pulled away, wiped the tears out of his eyes and took my hand. We walked the path out of the cemetery and back up to Crowhaven Road in silence. I could see he was thinking about something. His brow was wrinkled and his darks eyes were deep in thought. When we got to Number Two we went in to quickly change as the others would be waiting for us on the beach.

We got outside and instead of walking to Diana's he started walking up Crowhaven Road. "where are we going?" I asked thinking we were going to straight to the beach. "I want to show you something" he said nervously. We walked half way up Crowhaven Road and he stopped in front of Number Seven. It was a modest beige two story house with white shutters and a white wrap porch that was in desperate need of a paint job. The windows that were lined by white shutters were covered with boards and the weeds in the front yard were waist high. It looked like this house had been vacant for years. "whose house is this?" I asked curiously. "This was my parents' house" Nick said.

As we walked up the driveway towards the front steps "my uncle Mike, Deborah's dad, boarded it up shortly after they died" he said. He had a very thoughtful look on his face as he led up the steps and onto the porch. "I used to come here a lot" he said with a smile on his face as we walked around to the back of the house "this is a great place to think" he said. The view from up here was incredible. I smiled "it's really pretty up here" I said. He led me to a bench that was on the porch and we sat down staring out over the ocean. "I used to disappear from the circle a lot" he said. "every one used to think I was off getting into some kind of trouble but I was here, usually with a six-pack reflecting on how much life sucked" he admitted. "your life doesn't suck, Nick" I said. He laughed "now it doesn't but I used to think it did". "I hated everything about my life- being orphaned, living with my Aunt, Uncle and Deborah, magic, how everyone in the circle was always so positive. I was a loner and I really did feel alone" he said and he turned to me. "Ever since I met you I don't feel that way anymore. I feel like I've woken up from a sleep I have been in my entire life. I feel alive and for the first time in my life I am happy" he smiled widely. "I took you to see my parents and I brought you her today because I realized that I can't move toward my future, our future, until I faced my past" he said softly. I got really nervous and turned back toward the ocean. I didn't know where he was going with this and it made me both excited and nervous.

"Amanda?" he said and I turned back toward him and he took my hand "I am ready for whatever the future has to hold as long are you are in it" he said simply. "me too" I said softly getting a fuzzy feeling in my stomach. "what I would like to do, if we survive all of this, is fix this place up and move in here and make my parents' home our home" he said softly those mahogany eyes starting deep into my soul. I gasped. I thought for a moment and couldn't believe this was happening. I had been so torn and in this moment I surrendered to my future. In that moment I knew with every fiber of my being that I belonged here in New Salem with Nick. I smiled big "I would love to stay here in New Salem with you on one condition" I said. He raised an eyebrow "condition?" he smiled. "I want you fix up your dad's old shop too and re-open it. As much as you fight it sometimes, you love this place and you love cars and I will help you in any way I can" he smiled and said "that was part of my plan". I laughed "It's a good plan. Count me in" I said and I leaned up and kissed him softly. He kissed me back and pulled back. "that's not all" he said with an edge to his voice and a strange look in his eye I had never seen. A nervous feeling washed over me as he stood up and walked over to the porch railing and looked out over the horizon. I could see him suck a deep breath in as he turned to face me.

"I can't let anything happen to either one of us without you knowing something. I mean I would want you to know these things anyway. I mean what I'm trying to say " he was rambling nervously which was out of character for him and I was feeling uneasy. Was he keeping a secret from me? I wasn't sure. He took a deep breath "I never believed in love at first sight or anything like that. Shit who am I kidding I never believed in love period. And then I met you." He smiled shyly "From the moment I saw you in your dirty white tank top and messy hair it was like the big heavy cloud that covered my life lifted and you were the sun " I blushed red. "that first night I kissed you in your dorm room I knew I loved you and from that point on the need to protect you and care for you became so much strong than protecting myself from all that happened in my life and my fear of facing things slowly started to diminish" he admitted. I was still in a state of shock. Nick was baring his soul to me and I was so taken back by that. "After coming so close to losing you last night, and not knowing what other dangers we will face in the days to come, I couldn't move forward without you knowing how I feel." he paused for a second and walked to the bench where I was sitting but he didn't sit down. He took my hand in his and I could see his eyes getting wet as he pulled a small black box from his pocket. My eyes started swelling with tears at the same time as his did. "I am so in love with you Amanda and I know its only been a short time but after what we shared the other night and realizing the depth of the connection we have that keeps us forever bonded I have realized that its not how much time that's passed that matters but what matters is how we spend the time we have" he said opening to box to reveal a tiny round diamond that was surrounded by honey calcites making it look like a flower. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. He got down on one knee and said "looking around this place I can see us here together 50 years from now and still being as in love with you as I am now. Amanda Morris I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"