She was hurting, not that Jane was showing it, but she was hurting. Her father's rejection of her relationship with Maura was cutting Jane pretty deeply. Frank had called but she refused to answer, especially after she'd talking to Tommy Sunday morning after he and Frankie had meet their father for dinner the night before. Tommy told Jane the truth about Frank's reaction, about how he said that her being with Maura was wrong, that he wouldn't accept it, and that he expected her to find a man, get married, and forget about this thing with Doctor Isles. Frankie hadn't wanted to tell her, and that had pissed Jane off, but Tommy who'd gotten so pissed off at their father he'd ended up storming out of the restaurant, told her everything. Tommy was really trying to reconnect with her and that was the bright spot in this whole mess. It hadn't helped matters when Tommy told her that Frank's new girlfriend, Sandie Huffington, was all of twenty-six years old, making her younger then Tommy. Who the hell was her father to condemn her relationship when he was banging a preschooler?
"No Maura." Jane said with a roll of her eyes as she left her bedroom. "We're not stopping by your house so you can find a pair of heels that match the jersey. It's a Celtics' game not the red carpet. Just wear your sneakers, you'll be more comfortable, trust me."
In the living room Jane collected their tickets and made sure she had enough cash on her for the game and parking. "Maur! Come on we're going to be late!" She was just about to head back to the bedroom to tell Maura that she looked great and didn't need to primp so much for a basketball game, when there was a knock on the door. Jane groaned. They didn't have time for this; she wanted to be in her seat and settled with her first beer long before tip-off. She was ready to tear into whoever was on the other side of the door but stopped short when she saw who it was. "Pop."
"Hi Janie." Frank Rizzoli said as he stood in the hall looking at his little girl. "Can I come in?"
"Now's not a good time." Jane said, her body tense, her voice measured and cool. "We're just on our way out."
"We?" Frank asked as he looked past his daughter to see who was in the apartment with her.
"Yeah, we, as in me and Maura." Jane said as she blocked the doorway with her body, her arms crossed over her chest in a defensive way. "As in me and Maura who are together now. As in me and Maura who you don't approve of."
Frank sighed. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted you to hear my side of this."
"Do you have a problem with me being with Maura?" Jane asked pointedly.
"It's wrong, Janie." Frank said honestly. "Doctor Isles is a good person, but what you two are doing, it's just wrong."
Jane could feel her eyes stinging but a few quick blinks fixed that. "Then we have nothing to talk about and you need to go, Pop. Just go."
"Janie." Frank said a little to sharply.
"I love her." Jane said firmly. "I've loved her for a long time and now that she and I are together I've never been happier. Maybe you don't get it cause you've never had it, but she's the other half of me, nothing you or anyone else can say or do will change my mind about spending my life with her."
"Jane." Frank replied. "The Church, a family of your own, you're family, you're giving up on everything you were raised with."
"Ma loves Maura." Jane said. "So do Frankie and Tommy. The only person who has a problem is you, and well, you walked out on us first so you really don't get a say anymore Pop. As for the Church, it's not the only game out there, and who are you to even bring up the Church, you divorced Ma and last I checked the Church wasn't cool with divorce either." Jane paused a moment and then continued. "As far as having a family of my own goes? Well, someday, I hope Maura and I will have that, a family of our own. So all your arguments are invalid. The problems are all yours Pop. When you get past them let me know, until then." There were tears in Jane's eyes as she closed the door with a gentle click.
"Jane." Maura said softly as she walked up behind the other woman, wrapping her arms around Jane, and resting her chin on Jane's shoulder.
"Are you ready to go?" Jane asked, her voice soft and a little quivery.
Maura gently turned Jane so they were face to face. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want to see that look on your face." Jane said honestly as she looked into Maura's eyes, her hands coming up to caress Maura's face. There was a hurt and worried look on Maura's face and it was killing her. "I know how much you worried about us causing trouble with my family."
"I have caused trouble between you and your family." Maura said softly. "Jane, I'm…"
"Don't!" Jane snapped at her lover. "Don't you dare apologize! Maura there's nothing for you to be sorry for. Pop, he'll get use to it or he won't. Yeah, it'll hurt, but I can live with that. What I couldn't live without is you. I meant what I said about all the things I want, about us, and a future."
Maura was torn. It was a thrill to know Jane wanted a future with her but it was cutting her up inside to know that by loving Jane and being loved by Jane, she was causing conflict with her father. Her own father had been a little surprised at what he thought was a sudden change in her sexuality, but when the surprise wore off he was just glad that Maura had found someone. He'd been worried at his odd little duckling wouldn't find someone who not only accepted her quirks, but loved them, and her more because of them. Once he knew that Jane loved Maura unconditionally he was happy for Maura and wished her and Jane nothing but happiness and joy.
Leaning in Jane gave Maura a soft kiss. "Come on. We're going to miss tip off."
Jane refused to talk about her father and after several days of trying to get her to talk Maura finally backed off after Jane spent several nights at her apartment rather then coming home to Maura's. It had been the first time they'd been apart on purpose since their relationship changed, and it left Maura feeling as if Jane was punishing her for being concerned. Jane's brooding was starting to tick Maura off but she had refrained from saying so, but if this continued much longer she would. She was tired and she missed Jane. Turns out Maura had gotten use to having Jane curled up beside her, and without Jane she didn't sleep well.
"Another coffee?" Angela asked with a slight frown as Maura stepped up to the counter to pay for another cup. "You don't normally drink that much coffee, Maura."
"I'm just a little tired." Maura said honestly. "I'm going to finish up a few things and head home soon."
Angela's frown deepened. Reaching out she cupped Maura's cheek and then pressed the back of her hand to Maura's forehead. "Are you coming down with something?"
Maura smiled sweetly at Angela's concern. "No, I'm fine, I promise."
Of course the moment Angela saw Jane walk into the building she called out and motioned for her daughter to come into the café. She told Jane that she was worried that Maura might be coming down with something. She explained that Maura looked tired, and was drinking enough coffee to fill the harbor, which just wasn't like her. Jane wasn't doing much better then Maura in the sleep department, but she was better at dealing with the fatigue so it didn't show on her as clearly as it did on Maura. Jane promised to check in on Maura, but she had to work up to it first. She knew she'd been acting like an ass and their restless nights were totally her fault. By the time she worked up the nerve to go down to the morgue to talk to her girlfriend, Maura had left for the day.
When Jane got to Maura's house she found the blonde sleeping on the sofa. Jane crouched down and brushed at Maura's hair. It was startling at times, the strength of her emotions for Maura. Jane never loved someone, needed, and wanted someone, as much as she did Maura. It was thrilling, it was frightening, and it left Jane breathless.
"Jane?" Maura said softly as her eyes fluttered open.
Jane smiled warmly. "Hey, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
Maura looked a little confused at first. She hadn't meant to doze off. "I was waiting on my mother to call." Sitting up she looked over at her open laptop to see if she'd missed the video call from Constance.
"Have you eaten?" Jane asked softly as she moved to sit beside Maura on the couch. Maura shook her head. "How about I grill up some tuna steaks and you can make one of those fancy salads you're so good at?"
"Ok." Maura said softly as she stretched. She was glad Jane was there and she didn't want to push her away again so she wasn't going to question why she'd come back.
Before they got up to start dinner Jane took Maura's hand. "I'm sorry about being an ass the last few days."
"I understand you were upset." Maura said softly.
"But it still hurt you that I stayed away." Jane said, and Maura nodded. Jane held her lover's hand a little more tightly. "I'm sorry. The last thing I'd ever want to do is hurt you."
"If we're in this together Jane then we're in this together." Maura said after a moment to think. "All of it, good, bad, and everything in between. If something or someone hurts you, it hurts me too."
Jane nodded. "You're right. I guess it's just going to take me a moment to get use to sharing everything with you when I'm use to protecting you from all the really crappy shit."
"You weren't exactly protecting me this time, Jane." Maura said softly but firmly.
"I know." Jane said looking embarrassed and ashamed. "I was taking it out on you and for that I'm really sorry."
Maura nodded in understanding and then cupped Jane's face in her hands so she could bring the brunette close and kiss her. "I missed you, Jane." She whispered at the end of the kiss. "I didn't sleep well with you gone."
"I didn't get much sleep either." Jane admitted. She kissed Maura again and then said, "We'll sleep tonight. I'm home."
Maura liked that, she liked that a lot. Hearing Jane say she was home and knowing she meant home was with her, it made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. For the first time in her life she was starting to understand how her parents were able to get so caught up in each other, so ensnared by the other one that everything outside the two of them fell away. Unfortunately part of that outside falling away had been her, but that's where the comparison would stop. She wouldn't just love any children she and Jane might have someday; she would be an active part in their lives.
"What are you thinking about?" Jane asked softly as she nuzzled her nose against the soft warmth of Maura's neck.
The blonde blushed. She didn't want to admit to Jane that she'd been thinking of children when they were so new as couple. But she couldn't lie either so she said, "How easy it is for us to get tangled up in each other and forget about everything else."
Jane smiled at that. "Yeah, I guess it is."
"What where you thinking about?" Maura asked, hoping Jane wouldn't push for a deeper conversation on her thoughts.
Jane's smile quickly morphed into a smirk. "Make up sex."
Maura rolled her eyes and playfully slapped Jane's arm as she exclaimed, "Jane!"
In the kitchen a short time later Jane and Maura were working together to get dinner made. Jane was manning the stovetop grill while Maura sliced and diced vegetables at the counter. For a long few minutes both women were quiet, lost in thought as they worked. Then Jane looked up and asked, "What did your parents say when you told them about us? Well, I mean I guess I know you're mom was ok with it. My mother had your mother this close," She held her index finger and thumb about half an inch apart. "To arranging our marriage with or without us finally coming to out senses. But what did your dad say?"
Maura stopped what she was doing and gave that a little thought before turning to look at Jane. "He was relieved."
"Relieved?" Jane asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes." Maura said with a nod. "I think he was worried that I would either end up alone or with someone who didn't fully understand me and my needs. I think he worried that I would end up in marriage with someone who loved me but ignored me the way he and Mother did." She paused for a moment and then added, "I'm not sure what you said to my Mother, and I still won't pry, but whatever it was has both of my parents feeling guilty about my childhood."
"Good, they should." Jane said with a soft huff and then before Maura could say anything about it she asked, "So he didn't mind that I was another woman?"
Maura shook her head. "It was a little surprising at first, but no he doesn't care that you're another woman. Though, he worries about you being a police officer."
"Yeah," Jane said with a sigh. "It isn't easy being with a cop."
Maura moved closer to Jane and took her hand. "It wasn't easy being the best friend of a cop either. I know what I'm getting myself into, Jane. I'm as prepared as anyone can be."
Later that night in bed, their bodies entwined, their heart rates finally returned to normal, Jane stared up at the ceiling as she played with a lock of Maura's hair. Maura had her head on Jane's chest, listening to the sound of Jane's heartbeat, dozing to the rhythmic up and down of Jane's chest as she breathed. "Maura." Jane said softly into the darkness of the room. "You know I'm more careful now, at work I mean, I'm more careful about what I do because I have a reason to be more careful."
"You do?" Maura asked in a sleepy whisper.
Jane nodded and wrapped her arms around Maura tightly. "Yeah, I do. I have you. I have all these weird new thoughts in my head that make me want to be more careful."
Maura lifted her head so she could look into Jane's eyes. "What kind of weird new thought?"
"Just, you and me, doing things, going places, having things." Jane said vaguely. She was glad it was dark in their bedroom so Maura couldn't see her blush.
The blonde might not have seen it but she could feel the sudden flush of warmth in Jane's skin on her own. "I'm glad you're being more careful Jane." She admitted. "I have things for us to do, places for us to go, and things for us to have in my own thoughts, and I kind of need you around for all of that."
"I promise," Jane whispered before kissing Maura softly. "That as long as it's my power to do so, I will always be around."