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Unwanted or Improper - Chapter Five
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Trudging - To trudge, the slow weary walk of a man that has nothing left in his life but the impulse to simply solider on
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"Albus, this is just evidence that he is incapable of controlling himself!"
"The boy was just having some fun, you have to admit, he doesn't expect his life to be much fun any longer, Severus, you don't have a reputation for that sort of thing." That damn twinkle was going to get the man killed one day, by his hand probably.
"Fun? Fun! What if there had been a meeting today?"
"Then you would've been slightly more upbeat, there is no danger from that."
He wanted to scream. He didn't understand! "I can't be happy!"
"Now, that's quite irrational Severus. Of course you can."
These homicidal urges would get him killed one day. "I'm the Potions Master, a greasy git who is, most definitely, never happy!"
"Severus, had there been a meeting, which there was not, surely you could have kept yourself in check enough not to be noticed?"
"Yes! But that's hardly the point."
"Look, your thoughts, emotions and feelings were probably rubbing off on him as well. Harry does not want to be angry and depressed when he is a child still in school."
"Oh, so he's supposed to go out and fight, and defeat, Voldemort as a child, still in school?"
"Is that concern I hear?" Stupid, old bastard.
"No."
"Severus. I believe I should explain some things to you. A long, long time ago there were witches and wizards who were connected in a way. They were meant to work together, be together, and furthermore, love together. This is a children's story, Severus, you already know it. No one has ever known how it came about, but it did. Once the youngest of the couple has reached the age that the connection deems necessary, sixteen, the bond is first initiated. You well know that if you and Harry do not finish the bond, you will both die. Am I clear, Severus?"
"Very clear." He sounded bitter and he knew it.
"Is there anything further we need to discuss or are we finished here?"
"I believe we're finished." Snape spat out.
"Goodbye then."
Snape didn't bother with farewells. He stalked out, fuming.
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Harry was sorry. He truly was. Snape hadn't been doing it purposely, whereas he had been. It was like mind control. He could understand when he was mad. But Harry didn't plan on hanging around him to apologize. He'd grumbled about Snape with Ron for a while before trudging back to the dungeons.
He didn't want to go back. He wanted control over his own life. Or he may as well march out of Hogwarts right now, wrap himself in bright pink paper and call 'Happy Birthday!' to Voldemort. Now there was a picture.
He could remember Ron's words only an hour ago
"Mate, if you're going to go back there -"
"That's when."
"Fine, when you're going to go back there -"
"Back where?"
"You know where!"
"Do I?"
"No wonder Snape was furious."
Harry looked indignant. "Thanks a lot. Who's side are you on?"
"Not yours if you don't shut up."
"Fine." Harry was silent.
"Good. Okay, when you're going to go back to -Snape's quarters-" He took care to emphasize the comment. "Remember, Snape was, and still is, a Death Eater. He can probably kill you a million different ways from yesterday. So whatever you do, don't ever -ever- get him that mad again." The warning was clear in Ron's voice. "I don't want to see you dismembered or worse, in pieces-"
"Is that really worse?"
Ron ignored him. "Just because you were stupid enough to provoke the bastard, okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. I get the idea." Harry tried to sound nonchalant but he knew that Ron's advice was good advice, and that following it would be smart.
"Thanks for sticking with me."
"Just don't get dead, okay?"
"I won't."
"Good."
Yes, it was very good advice, and he'd do well to take it. Who knew what kind of horrible torture methods Snape practiced. Just thinking of that made Harry's trudging even more depressed. There was nothing he could really do to avoid it.
"Hey Potter." Not Malfoy. He couldn't deal with the git right now.
"What do you want Malfoy?" Harry knew he sounded tired.
"That was a lot of trouble you got in with Snape today. How many detentions did you get? Bet the Mudblood's unhappy."
Harry just couldn't be bothered. "You know what, Malfoy? Fuck off." He walked away.
Malfoy stood, stunned for a second. "Growing a backbone are we, Potter?"
Harry didn't say anything, just kept on trudging.
"Can't hold your temper? I suppose that's what got Diggory killed, eh?"
Harry's head snapped up, his emerald eyes hard.
Before he could say anything, a third voice broke in. "Mr Malfoy, I think you should get to your dorms, don't you?"
"But Professor-"
Snape just looked at him. "Don't you agree?"
"Yes, Professor Snape." Malfoy walked down the hallway towards the Slytherin dorms. Harry was too angry to laugh in victory.
"Mr Potter."
"Professor Snape." Harry looked up at the intimidating professor. He could tell the man was tired.
"I think it's about time you slept, don't you?" It was 10:30, half an hour after curfew.
"Yes, sir." Harry nodded then hurried down the hall on his left. He didn't want to wait until Snape would be giving out detentions. He was surprised he wasn't already.
"Oh, and Potter, ten points from Gryffindor."
Damn. Still, he'd pissed Snape off twice and only come out fifty points poorer and a weeks worth of detentions richer. It was actually rather soft. He'd more expected two hundred and a month. Maybe the good mood really had rubbed off.
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Harry sat, leaning against the back of the bed. He didn't want to sleep. Not after Malfoy's little comment.
"Kill the spare."
Harry couldn't stand it resounding in his head. Bouncing, echoing, singing. Crying. Shouting. Screaming.
"Kill the spare."
He loathed Voldemort. He despised him. He wanted to kill him with his own bare hands. That bothered him.
He looked at the time. 1:49am. Only four more hours.
Maybe he'd write an owl to Sirius. Explaining everything. How would he explain it? 'Oh, and Siri, I'm going to have to fuck Snape. Isn't that great?'
Harry was coming to the end of the straw. He could tell that when he'd sworn at Malfoy. Harry hardly ever swore. It just wasn't him. Only when he was really angry, or fatigued did he swear. He was going for both.
Harry sighed. He'd just have to trudge his way through this year, then he'd see where he'd go from there.
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End Chapter 5
Sorry it's a bit short.
The meaning of trudging is actually off 'A Knights Tale' Geoff says it.
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