A/N: This story features the Puckabrinatistic (new word, boys and girls!) "Bonding Time" by GirlUdon'tMessWith, and The Sisters Grimm by Michael Buckley. (I recommend you go read "Bonding Time" first, because I took ginormous chunks of it out.) This story was really long, so I just picked out lines I could think of really good jokes for right now. I'll most likely revisit this particular story, as well as "A Midsummer's Night Dream According to Puck" again somewhere in the future as more chapters are added, etc.
Oh, by the way, I tried a new format for everybody's responses, so tell me what you think. (Although I'll probably just end up doing both formats, since I'm bipolar like that.)
"I want to name this computer Bob," announced Daphne a couple days before New Year's.
"Sure thing, Marshmallow. What's the other computer's name?" asked Puck.
Daphne frowned for a moment in concentration, and then said, "I'll name it Mack."
"But it's a PC," said Sabrina.
"Well, you're a meanie, but you don't see me calling you that."
"Burn..." teased Puck.
"So, are we using Bob or Mack to go on FanFriction again?" Sabrina grumbled, changing the topic.
"It's FanFiction," said Daphne, "and we're using Bob."
They all crowded around the screen as Daphne clicked on "Books", then "S", then "Sisters Grimm". A list of stories came up, but Daphne ignored them and instead clicked on "All Characters (A)" and clicked "Sabrina G." She went to "All Characters (B)" and changed it to "Puck".
Seeming to actually agree on something for once, Sabrina and Puck yelled at the same time something along the lines of "What the h-" and "F-" before remembering Daphne was still at the tender age of eight and reverting to something more like, "Whaddya think you're doing!" and "No. Just no."
"Calm down, guys. I just think the funnier ones are in here. Funnier for me, I mean," said Daphne.
Wow. She grew up fast, from wanting popcorn and jelly beans one day to enjoying comedy and roman- NO! Sabrina reprimanded herself. She was NOT going to think that. She zoned back in to see Daphne clicking on a story called "Bonding Time" with and author named "GirlUdon'tMessWith". Sabrina rather liked that penname, as it reminded her of herself.
They didn't read three sentences before Sabrina and Puck started complaining again.
It is about how Sabrina and Puck get together.
"PICK ANOTHER STORY!" begged Sabrina.
"I SAID NO, NOT THESE!" screamed Puck.
"See, this is why these are entertaining," said Daphne, "although I'll lose my hearing if you guys keep screeching like that. By the way, there's a term for these kinds of stories. They're called "Puckabrina" stories.
Sabrina and Puck briefly shared a "WTF?" face before slouching down into their chairs.
Well, at least Puck doesn't have a last name for people to write "Mrs. Sabrina (Puck's last name)" with, thought Sabrina.
Well, at least my entire name is in there, thought Puck.
After about a minute, they finally mustered the courage to read on. (Sabrina and Puck, that is. Daphne had already read all the way through and was just waiting for their reactions.)
Although each actually loved each other but denied it with every fiber in their bodies.
Sabrina: (headdesk)
Puck: Of course we deny it! (pause) Well, that came out wrong.
Today Puck dyed Sabrina's hair in multicolor. She looked like a clown.
Puck: Must I get all my ideas from this site?
Sabrina: (another headdesk)
"Yes," said the two mad 13 year-olds together and went to do what they were told.
Puck: We're supposed to do what we're told?
Sabrina: (getting bruises from headdesking)
"See, I TOLD you they were in here," came the familiar voice of Jake from the hallway.
"Hey, kids," Henry said, walking into the room with Jake, "If I knew you would be spending so much time in here I wouldn't have bought these." However, he had a grin on his face. It was nice to see he had done something right.
"On that website again?"
"Yeah, Uncle Jake. Wanna come see? You too, Dad," Sabrina replied.
They all squished together to see the tiny laptop screen, and somehow Sabrina ended up next to Puck and the obnoxious smell of pickled herring. Sabrina pinched her nose and concentrated on breathing through her mouth.
[Chapter 2, Granny Relda's POV]
Henry hates Puck because Sabrina likes him but doesn't think he likes her. Puck does like her and thinks Sabrina doesn't like him.
Everybody knows except the blind Sabrina and Puck.
Henry: That's not why I hate you...
Puck: You're supposed to say you DON'T hate me... hey, wait a minute! I'm not blind!
Sabrina: (silence) (random electronic voice) We're sorry. The person you are trying to reach, Sabrina Grimm, is not available, as she has knocked herself out headdesking. Please leave a message at the tone. (beep)
Henry, Puck, Daphne, and Sabrina (who did not knock herself out... yet.): ... (looks at Jake in unison)
Henry: Jake...
Daphne: What are you doing?
Puck: Hey, can you teach me how to do that!
Sabrina: (facepalm)
Jake: Moving on!
[Daphne's POV]
Squeal! Now that Puck and Sabrina have to spend time together they are going see they love each other! Squeal!
Daphne: "Squeal"? I'm not a pig.
Sabrina: Let it go, Daphne, let it go.
[Chapter 3, Daphne's POV]
I took out my phone and we all smiled goofy smiles for the picture.
Daphne: Why do I not have a phone right now?
Puck: Uh, I don't either.
Sabrina: Who'd give you a phone when you pretty much publicly announced you were going to steal Uncle Jake's credit card yesterday?
Jake: Why are you trying to steal my credit card?
Puck: So I can buy 24 loofahs.
Sabrina: To wash yourself with, hopefully.
Puck: Naw. I'll have the old lady cook them for dinner
(Sabrina goes to the bathroom to retch.)
[Daphne's POV]
Sabrina was next and I decided to convince to her to get an outfit that I know Puck would drool over her in. The outfit was a mini jean skirt with a white blouse and black flats. It was simple but Sabrina will look great in it.
Puck: (drooling thinking about it)
Henry: Dude...you're wrecking the keyboard.
Puck: (wakes up) Huh, what?
[Chapter 4, Puck's POV]
She had a mini jean skirt, a white blouse and some black flats. Her hair fanned around her face and it made her look even more beautiful.
I felt my face heat up and knew I was blushing.
Sabrina (who just got back from the bathroom): Well, now I know why you have sixteen layers of crud on your face. It hides the redness.
Puck: Shut up.
"Sabrina what made you choose that outfit?" asked Mr. Up-Tight (a.k.a. Henry) while glaring me.
Puck: Mr. Up-Tight? Hm...I like it...
Henry: And yet you wonder why I hate him.
[Chapter 6, Puck's POV]
I could not look at Sabrina, yes I said Sabrina, all though dinner. I was afraid I would think she is pretty which I don't.
Yes you do.
No I don't! Shut up!
Do you realize you just told yourself to shut up?
Uh what?
Forget it! As I was saying before you do think Sabrina is pretty and you love her.
I do not think she is pretty!
Hah! You did not say you don't love her!
I uh I.
Puck and Sabrina sitting in a tree K-I-S-S….
SHUT UP! I am done talking to you!
Fine I'm gone.
GOOD!
Sabrina: Ooh, fairy boy has voices inside his head.
Puck: No I don't! I don't even know the sitting in a tree thing is.
Sabrina: Uh, you know, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage?
Puck: That's not all, that's not all, then comes the baby with the basketball? Yeah, I know that. Unfortunately.
Henry: Uh...what language is this?
Puck (ignores Henry): Except I thought it was F-U-
Henry and Sabrina: PUCK!
Puck: -I-N-G. What?
Daphne: I did not hear that.
[Chapter 7, Puck's POV]
"So lieblings have you decided what your doing today", the Old Lady asked Grimm and me.
"Strangle Puck", Grimm said in a bored tone.
"I do believe one of the rules was no violence", I said while turning to look at her, bad idea. As soon as I turned she also turned to face me which caused her hair to flip and I could smell her strawberry scented shampoo.
I was knocked out of my daze when Grimm said, "no the rule was no punching and strangling is not punching. I also remember another rule about no pranks".
"I-I told you I didn't t-that", I stuttered.
Sabrina: FAIRY BOY THE STUTTERER! HA, HA, HA!
Puck: You use strawberry shampoo?
Sabrina: Why do you want to know?
Henry: STOP ASKING MY DAUGHTER PERSONAL QUESTIONS!
[Sabrina's POV]
We walked in silence again and I notice he looked at everything else but me. I wondered what was wrong with him when I tripped on a rock.
When I thought I was going to hit the hard sidewalk I felt someone's arms around me. I looked up and saw a wide eye Puck.
We stared at each other for a second and then Puck leaned in a little and…
Sabrina: Oh! Ew! Oh! Gross! BARF! (Runs to bathroom where everybody can hear her throwing up and a moment later, flushing.)
Puck: Eh...there goes my ego...
[Chapter 8, Jake's POV]
He turned on the TV and a preview for that twilight movie Eclipse was on.
"This movie again", groaned Henry.
"I know I watched the first two with Briar", I said. Briar wasn't a fan but I loved it. Of course I wasn't going to tell Henry. Can't imagine what will happen if I did.
Jake: What. The. (*beep)
Puck: Don't deny it!
Henry: HAHAHAHA... that's hilarious...
[Henry's POV]
I turned on the television on and the Eclipse preview came on. How I love Twilight but Veronica doesn't care for it. I wasn't going to tell Jake that, who knows what will happen.
Henry: ...
Puck: (flashback starts)
[Puck] found him [Henry] sitting in the living room, reading some random book with a black cover and two really pale hands holding an apple.
"Hey, Henry!" Puck called. Henry jumped, shouted something that was inappropriate, then threw his book across the room.
(flashback ends)
Puck: Uhh...what does the book look like?
Sabrina: Ooh, fairy boy wants to read Twilight!
Jake: It's a black book with hands holding an apple on the cover. What? Why are you guys looking at me like that? I saw it in a book store and thought it was about Snow White...but then I read the back...the random teen girls there were giving me weird looks.
Sabrina: Sure...
Puck: Hey! Wait a minute! (runs downstairs to the living room)
It has to be here somewhere, thought Puck as he dug through a pile of books approximately where he remembered Mr. Up-Tight (snicker, snicker) had thrown it. Where was it, where was it? Oh! Here! Puck found it near the bottom. On the cover was the single word "twilight" in lowercase. He had found the right book. He dashed back upstairs.
Puck: Mr. Up-Tight? What's this?
Henry: That's-that's for Veronica.
Sabrina: Dad...
Puck: Yeah right.
(silence)
Jake: I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU READ THAT STUFF! HAHAHHHHHH!
(silence)
Daphne: Awkward silence...
*I got this idea from T.V. shows where they play a beep tone over a swear. That's basically what this is.
A/N: So, what did you think? (If anybody asks, WTF stands for World Taekwondo Federation.) Review, flame, comment, criticize, sit there like a bag of chips. Etc. Speaking of chips, I'm hungry. Excuse me...