Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.
- Charles Dickens

. . . | . . .

C H A P T E R - E I G H T

Bastard Sons of a Swan

~. . . . -=|=- . . . .~

To say that I was disinterested in being introduced to anyone else while I smelled and felt repulsive was an understatement. Meeting Charlie's sons was going to happen, but at least I had control over whether or not I would meet them right then. I wasn't compelled to run over and extend my hand with excitement.

My self-doubt was low enough for the moment. Charlie wanted to shoot me, Bella hated me and Renee gave me the stink eye. I was good without some mountainous, macho-man cowboys cringing at my face because I was dirtier than they were.

Before I was noticed standing outside the house, I stepped back into the hot kitchen where Bella stood with her back to me at the kitchen table. She turned her head slightly, her eyes catching mine then went back to her business.

I was exhausted from attempting conversation and trying to develop a sense of ease with her. Just looking at her exhausted me, so I went in search of Alice, the one person in the world that wouldn't judge. But, as I walked down the hall to the front of the house, I came upon a small room that caught my attention.

It was fairly small. A floral-patterned couch set in the center of the room, facing the fireplace that was set with thick-framed pictures. Around it were two, dark-green chairs.

I found myself at that fireplace, dragging my fingertips across the dusty glass to get a better idea of what was underneath. I was met with a small, happy child in the first picture, standing behind what seemed to be a birthday cake. Her eyes were vivid with laughter as a smile took over half her face. I could almost hear a child's laugh, then. Light-brown hair surrounded her. That was Bella. It had to be, and when I declared it to be her I felt my cheeks lift.

However, it was sickly because she was no longer that happy child. Her smile had faded with the years, her laughter and eyes numbed with the cold, bitter reality.

"How could Alice want a child in this world?" I whispered to myself as I stared at the picture, shaking my head. It didn't seem right to bring life into death. There were never any guarantees in the old world, but the word, 'guarantee', didn't even exist now. Children needed guarantees. But, everything was a cruel joke, and I wanted no part in it.

All the other pictures were different from the child. Most were Renee and Charlie when they were younger, close up shots of their faces and one of them on their wedding day, which was a back-yard affair it appeared; not one of those crazy expensive weddings that girls went on and on and on about. Nope. A younger, mustache-less Charlie wore jeans in that shot, and Renee a short, white dress. It was simple, but they appeared happy.

"Those are so old."

I removed my fingers quickly at the sound of her voice. "I'm sorry," I said as I turned, tucking my hands in my pockets. I didn't want to intrude on their family memories, at least I didn't want to get caught doing it. Truth was, I was curious.

Renee stood in the arch-way with a slight grin, her brow raised and her arms crossed in front of her, but she wasn't angry. She had changed from her dirty clothes into a short, brown dress. I had to admit, she was attractive for an older woman.

"That was Bella's fourth birthday." She swiped the remaining dust from the photo with her thumb. "I still remember bakin' that cake for her. She picked it out from a cake book that I had, and when she saw it her face lit up." She sighed. I'm sure those memories were settling in her mind. "She was a beautiful baby."

"She's a beautiful woman," I remarked without a second thought. No sooner had the words left my mouth, I regretted saying it aloud.

Her eyes caught the mistake that I'm sure ruptured on my features.

"Yes, well... those were the good ole days."

There was a commotion in the kitchen; foot-steps and excited male voices, although I couldn't hear what they were talking about. Heavy steps permeated the hall then a large man appeared with a black Stetson on his head. He was tall without the hat, but with it, he filled the entire archway. Dark curls hung next to his ears, and his eyes were incredibly blue. The light beard indicated he hadn't shaved in some time, but I still had him beat in that department. However, he was thick and muscular, the type of build I didn't want to go up against in a fight.

"Who's this?" he asked, pointing a meaty finger at me.

Renee touched my shoulder, faintly. "This is Edward." She turned to me with a smile. "Edward, this is Emmett."

Emmett stepped into the den with his hand extended. His grip was calloused and tight, and his voice was ninety-miles a minute. "How ya doin', man? Nice beard you got goin' on. Got a little Amish in ya? Trying to grow one, myself." He pulled at the very short hairs on his chin. It wasn't even enough to grab onto.

"I see," I said, stealing my hand back from his massive paw.

"Edward was returnin' a pail to us. We've invited him and his friend, Alice, to stay for supper," Renee said.

"Returning a pail?"

"Yes. Bella dropped one earlier when she saw Edward in the woods."

He nodded. "That sounds like something Bella would do. Yup! Clumsy ole Bella." He swung his arms, his hands clapping when they met in front of his torso. "I'm gonna go get washed up." Emmett turned and left the room. As he was running up the squeaky stairs in front of us, he called, "We got a good one, momma!"

A good one? What was he talking about? Did it have something to do with the object they were pulling behind the horses?

"Where's Alice?" I asked, staring at the flight of steps Emmett just bolted up two at a time.

"She's taken care of. I gave her a basin of water, some soap and a cloth. She said she'd be down shortly."

Alice got soap and a cloth while I washed from a dirty tin outside? Somehow, that didn't seem fair, but I was happy she got the soap she said she wanted some time back.

Having nothing else to do except pry into their family things, I followed Renee back to the kitchen. Another unfamiliar man in a white hat, his back turned to me, was there, hovering over the freshly-filled water pitcher, drinking a glassful. He was skinnier than Emmett, and much shorter, maybe even a few inches slighter than me.

"I heard y'all caught a big one," Renee said stepping behind him, rubbing his back with quick, hard sweeps of her palm. Sweat had soaked through his filthy, white t-shirt, causing it to stick to his skin when she touched.

"We saw him earlier up there by that small ridge when we got the bear this mornin', and I told Emmett he'd probably still be there. He sure was. He's a nice one, too. I'm glad we went back after 'em. We'll get good meat off that buck for a few days." His accent was as thick as Renee's, and he slung his words around carelessly and unforgiving.

I lingered just in the doorway, hoping not to appear as though I was intruding too much, but when this man turned and caught me in his inquisitive eyes I knew I had crossed a line somewhere. He didn't look at me like I was some dirty traveler. I'd seen his look before. I'd seen the way a man would size me up with one glance, when their eyes would carefully wander over my body in search for anything I might harm them with.

They saw a threat. A force to be reckoned with.

I wanted to reach to my neck and grab my tags to conceal them, thinking I'd forgotten to take them off, but remembered they were safely stowed away in my pocket. What was he searching for? What clue on my body could betray me? I'd left no visible signs of my military occupancy on me, yet it was like he knew.

"Who's this?" he asked, barely moving his lips. His tone was more reserved as he stared coldly. Blond hair nearly disappeared against his clean, tan cheeks, and there was barely a hair on his face. He reminded me of a Lieutenant I knew so long ago during my first year in the Army, but it wasn't the same guy, of course. However, the demeanor was the same: intense, serious.

"Jasper, Edward. Edward, Jasper," Renee introduced. "He and Bella ran into each other this mornin' and she dropped her pail. He was returnin' it to her."

He cocked an eyebrow under the brim of his hat. "Interestin'. It's strange to see someone travelin' alone. You must have real good instincts to survive this long."

"You could say that. Instincts and a little luck. Fortunately, I haven't been alone."

He seemed to take more interest, then. "No?"

"His friend, Alice, is upstairs freshenin' up in one of the spare bedrooms. Speaking of which, I betta' go check and see how she's comin' along. Bella will you please use the good plates since we have company?"

She looked to her mother, lazily, but didn't respond. Maybe she didn't need to. Renee exited the kitchen silently, her bare feet making no noise at all as she drifted down the hall and up the creaky stairs that could be heard from where I stood.

I watched Bella as she shuffled next to Jasper to pull down several plates that clanked together when she gathered them in her hands. Something foreign invaded the sight, followed by a sickening twist that dived into my gut.

Jasper's palm slid across the small of her back, pulling up the gray shirt to expose her skin. He squeezed the bare flesh of her waist opposite to him while bringing her lower body closer to his dark jeans. First, I thought perhaps he was comforting her, and I only saw it as inappropriate, but when he pressed his nose to her ear, his hat pushing upward on his forehead from their closeness, I knew it wasn't comfort he was trying to give.

He whispered very faintly into her ear then kissed her lobe, grinding his hip into her side. It was primal, animal-like, the way he touched her, as if to claim, and when he caught me staring I knew that was the purpose. Jasper was staking a flag into her, saying that he was there first, only she didn't reciprocate those feelings. It didn't escape me the way she shied away from him when his lips pressed to her ear, or the way she became stiff when he pulled her into his anxious hips.

This affection was unwanted and it made me uncomfortable to watch it, but I did with sick curiosity to their relationship. Was he her real brother? They looked nothing alike. No similarities were visible with the exception of their frames, both slender. Even Emmett didn't fit into the Swan family portrait. He had dark hair, a common trait, but there was nothing else about him suggesting he belonged in Bella's family.

I held no doubt that Jasper had violated her in some way. It didn't sit well in my chest. Quite frankly, it angered me and I couldn't do anything to this man because I knew nothing about him or her, or them, for that matter.

My violence would've possibly been without reason, and I was severely outnumbered, especially with Sasquatch living in their house.

But it didn't mean I felt any less for her. That didn't mean I wouldn't try to help her in some way while I was here for my remaining time. I pitied her; that poor, helpless girl who didn't appear to have the ability to speak for herself. She was in some way, very similar to Alice and myself. The world took advantage of our weaknesses.

The tension in the air seemed to evaporate when he moved away from her and toward me. "I'm gonna go clean up. Would you like me to show you where you can wash?" he asked, sticking his chin up and tapping the brim of his hat with his index finger to reveal his dark-blue eyes. Patches of red and dark-brown splotched underneath, details only divulged when he was close.

"Bella was kind enough to show me a little while ago," I said, straightening my back.

He smirked, took in my appearance once more then scoffed before taking his leave down the hall and up the stairs.

I didn't like him.

I didn't like him at all.

. . . | . . .

It was odd to see plates, spoons, and glasses of water lining the edge of the table, surrounding the large pot of stew, a basket of biscuits and the many white-yellow, glowing candles in the center. That wasn't real to me. It was merely a dream; someone else's reality. Mine was out the front door and on the road leading away from there.

I didn't belong at that table, neither did Alice, but we stayed. Alice stayed for food and soap, while I stayed for food and curiosity.

"Edward, you can sit there." Renee motioned kindly to a seat across from her. "Alice, you can sit beside him if you'd like."

We sat where it was suggested we sit. Emmett was next to her, then Jasper, Renee, Charlie and Bella was on my left with her wary body language always present.

"Shall we say grace?" Charlie asked as he folded his fingers next to his chest.

I wasn't sure how long it had been since I had participated in blessing around the dinner table. I was sure it had been far too long; before I even joined the Army. My mother was adamant about it, which was odd to me because she never went to church. Looking back, I think she did it for my father, who'd been deeply religious until after medical school, so I was told. My grandfather was a priest, pastor or reverend, I'm not really clear on the titles, so blessing the food was a necessity, not an option. Especially when he was around.

I bowed my head and closed my hands together like I used to when I was younger. It became silent then Charlie's voice broke through. "Dear Lord, we want to thank you for this wonderful meal and for the opportunity to live in this beautiful world that you ha..."

"Even though it's gone to shit," Emmett chimed in with a low tone.

"Emmett!" Renee scolded, as if he were a child.

Charlie cleared his throat. "We also want to give thanks to Edward and Alice, who have joined us from the harsh road. We hope you will have mercy on them, just as you have had on us. Amen."

"Amen." It was unanimous.

Just as Jasper reached for the large silver handle that stuck out from the red pot, Renee corrected him by pushing his hand away then said, "Guests first. Bella, spoon some stew into their bowls."

She did, but only filled the deep dishes half-way.

Charlie peered at what she'd given us. "Give them more than that, Bells."

She picked up our bowls once more and filled it to the top with reluctance and a slight scowl on her face that was directed to her parents. I poked through the stew and sorted the ingredients to determine what it was that I was eating, but it looked normal; carrots, potatoes, tomatoes, zucchini, onions and meat.

We were passed biscuits, as well. I took a bite of the crumbly bread and sighed... I may have moaned. Did I moan? One taste made my stomach ache with anxiety, and all I wanted to do was eat until I felt I was going to burst.

"You poor thing," Renee remarked as she spooned some stew into her own bowl. "When was the last time y'all ate?"

"We had some little fish the past few days," Alice answered, shielding her mouth with her hand as she chewed.

Charlie shook his head. "I don't know how anyone survives out there like that."

I swallowed a piece of fatty, gamey-tasting meat. It was different, but so good! "It's not without difficulty."

"I can imagine," he returned. "We've seen people pass through here nearly skin and bone, starving and exhausted from trying to get by."

"It broke our hearts," Renee added. "We do what we can to help those that are less fortunate than us. We've taken people in and've tried to provide a decent meal for a few days, you know... help get them back on their feet. This house used to be a bed and breakfast, so we have the space, so why not?"

"That's very nice of you," I said.

"I am curious as to how y'all met." Renee said.

"Well, I was a pediatric nurse in Los Angeles, and I lived there for a while after D.D.. I traveled south to San Diego because L.A. became too harsh. And right on the edge of the city is where I came across Edward." She took a breath and her expression faded as she looked down into her nearly-empty bowl. I knew that blankness that overcame her. She was remembering the day she found me barely breathing and close to death from starvation. The images came too quickly for me; the explosions and toppling buildings created by the hands of citizens trying to kill whatever gas-stealing 'Government Dogs' they could. There was nothing except ash, blood and sun staring back at us when they were finished. "He was partly exposed, underneath rubble with," she stopped talking suddenly, holding back. I knew what was lingering on her tongue: other soldiers.

"Other people," I finished for her rather quickly. "A large group I was in were traveling down the freeway, and a building collapsed," I lied. "I don't know how long we were stuck there. I just remember calling out to see who was still there, and hearing nobody after several days had passed. I was the only survivor, amazingly I wasn't hurt. And if Alice hadn't found me then I wouldn't be here now. It was sheer luck to tell the truth. If she was on the other side of the street then she would've passed right by me."

Alice nodded to the table. "You were lucky," she said softly then looked to me. "Really lucky."

"And, we've been taking care of each other ever since." I spooned up more carrots and potatoes.

"Wow," Charlie said through chewing. "That's amazing."

"I'm just surprised that you're so healthy-lookin'," Renee said and eyed us. The way she did made me think she could see through the table.

"We try to keep food on us, mostly canned goods and things like that," I said. "I'm not gonna lie, it's getting harder the the further we walk, but we manage somehow."

"Edward also hunts," Alice added, her voice seeming to smile, as though she were proud.

"Hunting man, huh? What do you hunt?" Emmett asked.

"Mostly small game like rabbits. We came across a deer not too long ago, but it was difficult to haul and keep fresh, so I never did that again." I chuckled at the memory. "What about you?"

"Bear," he said. "And, of course deer plus anything else we can catch. Bella's really good at fishing."

In the corner of my eye I saw her shake her head.

"Don't be so modest," Jasper said. "You're an excellent fisher."

"Alice is, too," I added, not forgetting how she'd been so resourceful at catching the minnows.

She smiled slightly. "You do what you have to do in order to get by, but it's good to see that some people still make time for this." She gestured her open palm to the table. "I'm sure it's rare these days for people to sit down to a great, home-cooked meal. It's nice to know it still exists."

Charlie shoved in a spoonful, nodded and said around his food, "We try to preserve family traditions. It's always been important."

"I agree," she responded then took the last bite from her bowl.

Renee noticed this, too. "You must have some more," she said with a grin as she ladled more into Alice's bowl then offered her another fluffy biscuit.

I knew the look on Alice's face. She wanted to stay here forever.

. . . | . . .

I felt as though I would burst.

While everyone else left the dining room, and their plates, Alice and I stayed in our seats, legs spread under the table as we leaned back in our chairs like pigs. It was one of those moments when I felt like unbuttoning my pants to make room for all the stew. Bella began to clear everything by herself. I stood, believing this to be an open opportunity to lend a bit of compassion and empathy before we left this house for good.

"I'll help you," I said, picking up a couple bowls, then followed her into the kitchen. "Where do you want these?"

She spun from placing the dishes on the counter, and her fingers brushed mine as I handed the load to her. I was surprised when she didn't shy away, considering she hadn't been wanting to be within a few feet of me since I'd been there.

The sun already began it's descent to the horizon. The orange light shone directly into the window, then. I wasn't aware it was so late in the day. Alice and I needed to leave, to find a place to stay for the night before darkness fell completely over us. A quick glance around determined she and I were alone. I had to ask the question that had been circling.

"Um, before I leave, I need to ask you something," I started, leaning against the counter, careful not to invade the space I knew she desired. Her eyes searched mine, almost impatiently, as if to ask what? "I have no business prying, but I have to know that you'll be okay here. I'd hate to leave and not know." Not really a question.

Her mouth parted as she took in a deep breath then released it as her brow furrowed. There was something indistinguishable there, pulsing behind her eyes; an emotion she wouldn't allow me to see.

"Edward?" Alice was standing under the dining room arch-way. "We probably need to get going. It's getting late."

"I know. Just gimme one second."

She crossed her arms over her chest and propped herself against the wall. She was going to wait. I directed my attention back to Bella, ignoring Alice's prying ears. I didn't mind if she heard. I planned on telling her the whole story later, anyway.

"Will you?" I asked with urgency.

She was thoughtful for a moment before nodding, but I wasn't sure I believed her. Part of me wanted her to answer no, that she wouldn't. That part of me wanted her to say I was right about Jasper, to save her and take her away before anyone else could hurt her. She couldn't save herself, and maybe I was the only one that could. If she had said no, then I would have taken her with us. I would've protected her, the way I protected Alice. It was my duty to guard those that needed it most.

But she didn't. She said yes; she would be alright. There was nothing more I could do for her. I couldn't take her with me, and I couldn't linger there.

"Okay," I said gently. "I just had to be sure. I didn't want to walk out of here wondering if there was something I could've done to help you, which is the only reason why I followed you in the first place." I swallowed. "Well... thank you for everything, Bella." I backed away from her, leaving her to the dishes. "Let's go, Al."

I hated to eat and run, but there wasn't a choice. I followed Alice through the dining room then into the entrance. Across from us, Bella's family were seated in the den, talking quietly amongst themselves. Charlie was the first to pull away from the conversation, then Emmett flung the back of his hand to Jasper's knee, who turned, followed by Renee.

She stood as I pulled my sack into my hands, and Alice pulled her backpack on. "Going so soon?" she asked.

"The hours ran away from us. It's getting late, and we're gonna need to find shelter before dark, but we wanted to thank you for having us for dinner and for allowing us to clean up. It's been a long time since anyone offered their assistance to us. I can't begin to tell you how much we appreciate it," I said, pulling the straps onto my shoulders. The weight pushed down on my back which only added pressure to my thigh. The pain had subsided for a while, but the burden reminded me I wasn't completely free, yet.

"You don't have to go," Charlie said.

"No! Please, stay! It would be unkind of us to push you out the door right before dark," Renee added.

"We couldn't impose," Alice insisted. "It wouldn't be the first time we've traveled at night."

"But it won't be on my watch. We insist you stay the night with us. We have plenty of extra rooms. You can get up, eat some breakfast and if you want to leave then you can."

Renee's offer was enticing. Was there a downside? It was only one night, right? A bed sounded nice. To be truthful, it sounded like heaven ringing bells in my ears. The idea of breakfast was powerful. She could've offered breakfast and a spot on the hardwood floor and I would've been game. However, it did feel as though we were imposing, but the benefits outweighed the risk of us looking like moochers. I'd already sacrificed my uniform to look civilian for the good of us. If I had to appear to be an imposing citizen to get a little food, then I would do it. Alice looked to me and shrugged with a gentle tilt of her head.

She was for it if I was. I grinned. "Well, only if you insist."

"We absolutely insist," Charlie said. He picked up a lantern that sat idle on a table next to the couch. "I'll show you to your rooms." He began his ascent up the noisy stairs.

And, like trusting fools, we followed him into the dark space above.

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