A/N: In my defense, I got banned from the computer for a day or two, so I haven't been able to update. Also, this particular update isn't that long, since the story they're reading aren't that long.

There are rotten tomatoes for sale on my left.

Featuring the wonderful limegreenwordmachine's story, Baby Names.

Sabrina was setting up an email account when she happened to glance out the back window of the computer room. It was in the same place as the old house, so she was looking out at the dark woods behind it. She had a sudden flashback to a year and a half ago, when she had been in those very woods.

She had convinced Daphne to run away from Granny Relda, since she thought Granny was crazy at the time. (It didn't help that she kept ranting about giants and rainbow unicorns and magical ponies...) Suddenly, they were attacked by a swarm of what she thought were fireflies, but turned out to be Puck's pixies. It was odd, knowing that Puck had been watching them from the start.

Whoa. Puck is a stalker.

Anyways.

Sabrina decided to go on to FanFiction again to see what other embarrassing excuses for stories were on it.

One caught her eye immediately.

Baby Names by limegreenwordmahine, it read.

Puck suddenly appeared. Actually, he had just morphed from a cockroach back into a human, but Sabrina didn't need to know that. "A baby?" Puck blanched. Now he knew how they were made, the topic was...disgusting.

"Hey, Puck, honey – we're due in two months."

Due! The word set alarm bells off in both of their heads. They ran out of the room shrieking.

Ignorance is bliss, Puck couldn't help thinking.

Daphne was walking towards the stairs when Sabrina and Puck burst out of the computer room, screaming loudly.

Wow, I didn't know Puck could scream like a girl, Daphne thought. She was starting to rethink choosing him as a role model.

After a considerable amount of time, in which the computer switched to standby mode, Sabrina and Puck finally made it back into the room without puking.

"Um, it's a girl. I told you that three months ago, and the nursery is painted pink."

"I know it's a girl. And I wanted the nursery to be green. Green is a better color than dumb old pink."

"Well, it is!" lamented Puck.

"Well, you're not a girl!" said Sabrina, mimicking his tone.

"How about Titania?"

"Don't make me slap you. We are not naming a precious little gift from God after your mother."

"You mean you don't want to name our kid after the uptight woman who almost killed you when she found out we were engaged, tried to set me up with another girl two weeks before our wedding, and looks down on you to this day? Really?"

Sabrina slowly turned to look at Puck. "Your mother is quite protective, isn't she? Doesn't want her poor wittle baby to get hurt, does she?"

"I'm not a 'wittle baby', and this is just a story," Puck said. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

"We're getting off topic. We were talking about baby names."

"Let's name her La'Tani'Ana'Bo'Van'Ashria'Niqua'Liqua'Nice."

"And call her 'LaTaNICE' for short..." Puck muttered.

"Call her 'like tennis'? Uh, no. Not now, not whe- if we have a baby." Sabrina said.

"Hey, fairies' names are a special part of our heritage! But really, you should give me more credit. I've seen what happens when you name your kid something like Mustardseed."

"That was the best part of the day he was born," snickered Puck.

"And your name means 'a flat circular disk players use to hit around in a hockey game'," amended Sabrina.

"No comment."

All mention of names was temporarily forgotten.

But the ice cream was delicious.

"Some ice cream will be good," mumbled Sabrina. But Puck was already gone, apparently to find the four-month old tub of homemade "Chunky Bug and Snail Dirt Ice Cream".