Fit the Twelfth: The Dunes
The hunters converged on the eastern shore.
The rule for how to hunt a Snark is to do all that you know, and try all that you don't. Pepper, for example, had the thought that a Snark might be very small, so he brought along thimbles to catch it. Tweedledum, recalling the fact that Snarks go well with greens, had packed forks. The March Hare carried a railway-share for some reason, and Chessur, figuring that the Snark must get very dirty living on an island without baths, thought he might tempt it out by offering soap.
This intrepid group of hunters stepped out into the rolling sand dunes between the stony slope of the mountain and the packed, wave-pounded sands of the beach.
"Here's what we do," said Alice, "we split up two by two and spread out. We meet back here at noon to regroup. Who wants to go with whom?"
"If we are going two by two, I must insist on staying with you," Tarrant said to her.
She nodded. "Tweedledum, Tweedledee?"
"I'll be going with him," said Tweedledum.
"By which he means, he will be coming with me," clarified Tweedledee.
Chessur went with Pepper, and Ellieita with Thackery. They parted ways and set off into the hazy erg.
Alice and Tarrant mounted the Bandersnatch, which bounded playfully through the sand, galloping up dunes and then leaping down their sliding slopes.
Tarrant was strangely silent for several minutes.
"I have the funny feeling we'll finally find a Snark today," Alice said.
"I'm sure we will." The Hatter didn't sound happy.
"Are you still concerned that I may vanish away?"
"Yes," he admitted frankly.
"What makes you so sure I would be any more likely than you to vanish when confronted with a Boojum?"
"You slew the Jabberwock," he said as though that were explanation enough.
She nodded. She knew enough about Underland now to realize explanations would be difficult to come by. She could live with that madness. If it meant living with the Hatter.
Suddenly they heard a shout from far across the dunes. It was the voice of the March Hare.
They heard a shout from off in the distance. It was the voice of the March Hare.
"This is madness!" he screamed hysterically. "Madness! Why are you breakfasting at this hour? It's time for tea!"
All the hunters converged on the sound.
The Bandersnatch was there in a minute. They spotted Ellieita at the crest of a nearby dune.
"Is it a Snark?" Alice shouted up to her.
"I can't tell; I'm not close enough. It's certainly the strangest creature I have ever seen. Thackery and the twins are making an examination."
"Ask them."
"Is that a Snark?" Ellieita shouted down to the March Hare, Tweedledee, and Tweedledum.
"How can we tell?" Tweedledum shouted back at her.
Ellieita turned and shouted back at Alice and Tarrant, and now Pepper and Chessur, who were moving toward her through the sand. "How can they tell whether it is or is not a Snark?"
"Primarily by taste," Pepper responded. "It is meager and hollow, but crisp, like a coat that is too tight in the waist, with a distinct hint of will-o-the-wisp."
"Taste it!" Ellieita shouted down to the three.
Tweedledee turned to Tweedledum. "Go on then, taste it."
Tweedledum took a look at the creature and shook his head. "No how am I going to taste it. You taste it."
Thackery darted up to the creature, still intent on its breakfast, and licked it, then hurriedly scurried back.
"Fig vase guard wed hated quiet carrots!" he said.
"Fig vase guard wed hated quiet carrots, he said!" Ellieita relayed down to the four hunters still approaching.
"I would say that sounds like the delicious quarry we seek," said the Cheshire Cat, licking his lips.
"We should be certain, though," Tarrant cautioned. "Pepper, how else might one determine if the beast in question is truly a Snark?"
Pepper pondered for a moment, then suddenly brightened. "Miss Ellieita, kindly inquire of them whether the creature carries a bathing-machine."
The goose turned back to the three hunters making the examination. "Is or is not the creature in possession of a bathing-machine?"
Tweedledum and Tweedledee looked over the breakfasting beast while the March Hare laughed at absurdity.
"Do you suppose that large boxy thing is a bathing-machine?" Tweedledee asked.
Tweedledum considered it carefully. "I can't imagine what else it could possibly be."
Tweedledee shouted back up at the goose. "Oy, what does a bathing-machine look like?"
She turned back toward Pepper. "They want to know what a bathing-machine is."
"Never mind, never mind," Pepper said, and thought some more. "A Snark is remarkable for it's slowness in taking a jest. It will always look grave at a pun."
"Tell it a bad joke!" Alice called up as she made her way up the sand hill, having dismounted the Bandersnatch.
Ellieita ruffled her feathers. "Oh dear. I don't know any bad jokes."
"Okay, let me think...How about this one: Two men walked into a bar. The third one ducked."
The goose paused. "I fear I don't quite grasp you."
"Just tell the joke."
Ellieita turned and called down. "A pair of gentlemen walked into a bar. A third, likely cautioned by the example of his predecessors, avoided injury through ducking beneath it."
"How did it respond?" Pepper queried.
"It groaned, and rolled its enormous eyes," Ellieita reported.
"That's just the way! That's a Snark! Catch it, quickly! Don't let it get away!"
The twins threw nets over the creature. Thackery darted around it, tying it up.
Ellieita flew down to it, and Pepper, Chessur, Tarrant, and Alice ran up the sand dune to reach it.
Just as they reached the top, Tarrant grabbed Alice. He didn't trust in the other's ability to tell a Snark from a Boojum, and he had to make sure Alice wouldn't disappear. There was only one solution he could think of: she wouldn't dare vanish away while he was kissing her. So he kissed her.
"We caught it! We caught the Snark!"
Only when the Hatter heard that joyous exclamation did he dare let his dear Alice go. She stumbled back a step or two and kept herself upright by grasping his arm. Without a word but still clinging to him, she turned toward the captured creature and they descended the slope of sand toward it.