A/N: Random computer-related chapter with some toilets thrown in.

Apology: I'm sorry I haven't updated in like, a week!

Excuse: I've been staying up until 11:30 on average last week doing homework. Why do they do this to us?

Living in the woods for a couple hundred years can do things to you.

Sabrina realized that the first time she found Puck pointing the T.V. remote at her dad.

"It's not working!" Puck grumbled to himself.

"What's not working?" Sabrina sneaked up on him, making him jump.

"He's not muting!" whispered Puck in agitation, furiously stabbing the "mute" button on the remote.

Yes, living in the woods can do things to you. Which was why Puck a), needed help typing up a school report, and, b) kept using the toilet for things other than what is was supposed to be used for.

First, the fact that Puck couldn't find the "on" button for the computer.

"Is it this one?" Puck asked, stabbing his finger at the "eject" button.

"No, that's the eject button," said Henry. For whatever reason, he had been the only one around to teach Puck how to use the computer. "Here, it's the one with a circle and a line."

"Oh, this one."

Suddenly, there was the bang of a door closing downstairs and Sabrina's voice floated up.

"Dad, we're home. Where are you?"

"Up here!" Henry yelled back. A moment later, Daphne, Red, and, of course, Sabrina walked into the room.

"What's going on?" asked Daphne.

"Well, Sabrina's boyfriend here doesn't know a single thing about computers and he has a report due tomorrow that has to be typed."

"He's not my boyfriend, and I'll teach him if you're as tired as you look."

Henry had gotten a job recently as an accountant for the bank, and had spent most of last night calculating numbers. He was rewarded with a paycheck and dark circles under his eyes.

"Please," Henry said, and left the room. Sabrina sat down next to Puck while Daphne wandered off the find her copy of Romeo and Juliet.

"Can I watch? I've been crazy for the past- however long I've been around, and I don't have any idea how you use these things either," Red said.

"Sure," Sabrina said, and began her instruction.

"After you've turned on the computer, this is the screen you'll see. This symbol over here, with the blue "e" and a yellow line across it, is for the internet. This symbol over here with a dark blue "W" in a blue box stands for word document, which is where you can type your essay, Puck." She clicked on it, and Word came up. "Start typing, Puck, and let me know if you have any more questions. Red, come over to- er- Bob and I'll show some more stuff." Sabrina was about to roly-chair over to Bob the computer, but Puck grabbed her arm.

"Wait, what's typing?" he asked, staring at the screen in confusion.

Sabrina sighed. This was going to take a while.

(Five hours later, at six in the afternoon.)

Puck was slowly poking out each letter of his essay. t. Poke. Space. Poke. p. Poke. o. Poke. p. Poke. c. Poke. o. Poke. r. Po- hey, where was the "r"?

"Sabrina? I can't find the 'r'." Puck poked Sabrina, who had fallen asleep three hours ago when Red was still exploring Youtube.

"WE MUST RESCUE THE SACRED HOT DOGS!" Sabrina yelled, jumping up.

Puck didn't know whether he should laugh or call the loony bin.

(Three minutes later, after Puck had gotten some ice for his head where Sabrina's shoe had made contact with it.)

"For the last time, I think I have the right to laugh when you say something like that." Puck defended himself as Sabrina looked over what he had typed:

Popcorn was first discovered by the Native Americans. Later, the English brought popco-

"That's all you wrote in five hours?" Sabrina was ready to pull her hair out. At least he could spell correctly now. A year of school can do that to you. "You know what? I'll type this for you if you write it out on some paper or something."

Which was why about ten minutes later, Puck was happily running down the stairs in search of something to eat.

Hm...he mused, should I have leftovers from yesterday, or the onion, sardine, and cream cheese casserole? Maybe I should just have both. Puck walked into the kitchen, which was vacant except for Mr. Canis eating some soup and crackers at the kitchen table.

Whoa. Puck had never seen Mr. Canis eat. It was quite odd.

"Oh, hello Puck," Mr. Canis said as Puck raided the refrigerator.

Problem two: Puck kept using the toilet in every way except the proper one.

"Grimm, what's that white thing in the bathroom?" Puck asked one day.

"What, the bathtub?" Sabrina responded.

Puck shuddered. "No, the other one."

"Oh, the toilet. That's where you poop and pee."

"Really?" said Puck, raising his eyebrows, "I thought you went in the woods."

Sabrina mentally smacked herself and then showed Puck how it worked.

"It's magic!" Puck said as the oh-so-interesting water swirled down, down, down.

A month or so later, Jake explained indoor plumbing to Puck. That's when he started his "experiments".

Sabrina's glove: check

T.V. remote: check

T-shirt: check

Pillow: caused toilet to overflow.

Henry yelled at Puck for ten minutes straight for that one.

Not two days later, Sabrina found Puck dangling a large beetle tied to a string into the toilet.

"What. Are. You. Doing?" Sabrina said.

"I'm teaching Freddie how to swim," said Puck.

Then there was, of course, the Random Person Sitting in the Toilet incident, quickly followed by the Use the Toilet as a Place to Store Foodstuffs incident.

Then their house was destroyed.

Then there was the day Sabrina found out the one of the two toilets downstairs was missing a lid, as Puck had taken it as a shield.

Yes, Puck had a lot to learn about toilets.

A/N: By the way, I have a poll on my profile page where you can vote on what Mr. Canis eats. Not terribly exciting, I know, but at least it's original.

Review! Flame! Comment! Or, my personal favorite, Run around with a squirt gun acting like James Bond!