Sorry this chapter refused to be written. I tried, but this chapter wins most disliked by me of this series. I feel like I let Captain America down. I didn't want to do the something to similar to Thor, yet inspiration wasn't coming to me like all the others.
P.S. Like the image? It is Hawkeye shooting a toothpick, my inspiration for this story. It's from the show Avengers Earth's Mightest Heroes. It's on Disney XD and it's awesome. Even my Dad says it's pretty good and he grew up on the stuff so that's a good sign.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers, because I let Captain America down. I also don't own that new picture.
To say that Captain America was clueless was an understatement. Clint figured the only one more clueless then Steve was Thor and the old people who lose their memories over time. It was really quite sad and hilarious. Watching Steve trying to adjust to the changes that New York had since the 1940s was really quite hilarious. He felt uncomfortable around all women now because of the way they dressed, he had to bite his tongue every time he was going to use slang from his original era and technology was a very elusive mistress for the Nazi fighter.
Steve was a good idea though, even if he couldn't figure out how to work a T.V. or a remote or a microwave. Tony laughed his ass off the one time Steve got an e-mail saying click now for a million dollars, and then clicked it.
Hopeless. That being said though the only people allowed to pick on the good Samaritan was his teammates and occasionally Fury. This meant no reporters had any right to make Steve fell uncomfortable. Especially ones who dressed more provocatively then reporters on a national average and had the gall to ask questions that had no meaning to the Avenger's latest defeat of Zemo.
The rest of the team had went to deal with separate injuries and only Steve and Clint remained and currently Rogers was being interviewed by a reporter who seemed to be standing a bit to close, seeing as Steve's face resembled a tomato.
"So a man like you must get all the girls."
"Excuse me?"
"You have been with a woman with you." Steve's awkward pause combined with his continually reddening face led the reporter putting two and two together. The cameraman snickered.
"You haven't been with a woman?" That's went Clint realized he had to intervene dramatically.
"Steve buddy, Maria just called and asked for you to report back to her." Clint put emphasis on her and Cap didn't know whether to look grateful or embarrassed. The reporter smiled gleefully getting all of this on camera. Steve ran off though, seizing his chance of freedom. Clint had an urge to yell "Run, Forest, run!" But he decided against knowing Steve wouldn't get the reference at all, they had yet to teach Steve about the awesomeness of Tom Hanks.
"So," Clint turned to the reporter, "is this live?" The woman shook her head no. "Oh good." Clint pulled out his phone and typed a quick message to Tony, hoping that the man had a second suit of armor nearby.
"So you're the famous Hawkeye."
"That would be me." Clint made small talk with her for about eight minutes, before Tony landed right by Clint scaring the reporter and the man holding the camera looked like he was about to pee his pants.
"You said it was an emergency." Tony glared at Clint as his mask folding in to reveal his face. Clint turned his head to talk so that Tony was the only one to be able to hear him.
"Cap may have revealed that he hasn't done it on that camera." Tony realized why he was called.
"I'll distract and you snag."
"That's the plan." Clint and Tony turned back to the reporter who looked thrilled to have now talked to three Avengers and gain good gossip on the leader of the rag tag group.
Tony immediately swept the reporter off her feet, the only reason to not cut out Tony's tongue according to Clint. Then said archer disappeared to the shadows and making his way behind the cameraman.
Clint went into the building and found a window that wasn't too high up. He clicked a button on his bow a couple times and heard the satisfying click of an arrowhead being fused to the staff and pulled it out. He lined up his shot took a breath and waited till Tony had the two people completely enraptured with his words. He shot
The arrow plunged through the camera. The cameraman shrieked in surprise and dropped, and then Clint squeezed his bow. It was low powered explosive made to blast doors open quickly, quietly and without the mess. So to the disbelief of the two workers the camera exploded the parts hitting them lightly.
"What the hell was that?" Tony tried to look confused as they were.
"Maybe it was a bird."
"A bird." The woman stated in disbelief.
"Oh look at the inside of my helmet, is that the time, I have to go." With that Tony blasted off, waving to the stunned duo below him. As soon as Clint could no longer see Tony he ran off too, laughing all the way back to the Avenger's mansion.
At about eight o'clock the group settled around the giant T.V. in the main living room eating their traditional celebratory Shwarma. Steve visible flinched as Tony flipped on the news.
"Guys how about we watch a movie instead?"
"I think you'll enjoy this Cap." Tony smirked and turned the volume up.
"Once again the day is saved thanks to the Avengers." The smiling newscaster said. "And our own Emily Welch was at the scene today." The screen split in half to show in the other frame the woman who had been terrorizing Cap earlier.
"Well unfortunately all the footage and tape we recorded was destroyed." Emily looked nervous.
"Destroyed how?" The other woman asked and seemed genuinely curious.
"Er… by a bird?"
"A bird." The newscaster seemed baffled.
Tony and Clint subtlety fist bumped.
This never has to be spoken about again. I promise the next chapter will be better, because I know what I'm writting for that one so expect it by Monday latest.
My story is almost over. I'm sad now.