My Madness, My Saving Sanity

Chapter Six: Lines of Grey

By: Nightelfcrawler

Author's note: While this is G1 based, I've made Starscream a blend of his G1 and Armada personalities just because I find the dichotomy of it fascinating. It takes place in no particular timeline, following no particular events. Also, please review politely. If you haven't something nice to say, keep it to yourself please.

Note: Thank you for pointing out the failed italics. Just goes to show me to always proofread in the editor as well as in word, as has a habit of droppin' em.

"Hey… Screamer."

Shut up, TC. I told you, don't call me that… I sent lazily, not bothering to online an optic to see what he was up to. Since having no wings, I'd been relishing in the one small glory I'd discovered, as odd and unnatural as it was: the ability to sleep in odd positions my wings had never allowed me before.

"You got a visitor, Sleepin' Beauty."

That got my attention. I onlined my optics and turned my head to see a familiar red paint job. I sighed softly. Perceptor…Great… the last person I wanted to face right now.

The scientist was regarding me from the other side of the energized bars with an unreadable expression on his normally open and cheery face. In a way, that was worse than hatred, which at least would have told me how he felt. I slowly rolled over and sat up, but did not move towards him, expecting that he had something angry to say to me. Whatever. What did it matter anyway what he thought now, anyway? It was over and done with. However, as I faced him, his expression did not change, but his voice came calm and quiet with a trace of disappointment. "Tell me something, Starscream…" I met his gaze evenly, weaving my hands together as they rested over my knees. "I need to know the truth…" Thundercracker watched calmly from his seat on his berth, his crimson optics curious at the confrontation, obviously wondering why the scientist had come to see me. I however studiously attempted to ignore his presence. Perceptor remained calm, though his voice quieted more. "When you worked with me in my lab… you said you enjoyed it. You said that science was one of your strongest passions, and one you regretted not pursuing full-time. Were you being honest when you said this, or was it merely a ruse to learn what I had uncovered about Space Bridge technology?"

I blinked, as a strange crushing feeling suddenly locked itself around my spark. As much as I wanted to snap a sharp reply to the Autobot, tell him that of course it had all been a lie, of course it was just to learn what they knew… I found myself suddenly unable to form the words. His optics were calm and neutral, but as I stared up at him, I almost could feel the expectation of my answer radiating off of him, prepared for me to tell him what the others obviously thought my goals were… and suddenly… I was tired of the façade I often wore to boost my reputation, to make others fear me… I realized that façade wouldn't fool Perceptor. He wanted to know the truth, and the truth was… It was no lie. I finally sent, taking care to use the private comm. channel rather than the wide-broadcast so Thundercracker wouldn't overhear my half of the conversation. He probably could figure it out, but that wasn't the point. For some reason this felt private to me. I meant what I said. It was the truth.

Perceptor studied me carefully. I had shared enough time working with him to know that he was trying to analyze me, trying to determine if I was really being truthful. For a moment, I thought he was going to simply turn around and leave, abandoning any attempt to reconcile with me. That was, after all, what most people would have done while facing the traitorous Decepticon 2nd in Command. They wouldn't have given me a second thought. But after a moment, his optics softened slightly and a faint smile passed over his facial plates, truly surprising me as I realized that he DID believe me. "Truly? I am very relieved to hear that." He moved closer, and to my own astonishment, I found myself rising to stand across from him on my side of the bars. Even in my protoform I still stood a good few feet taller than he, though my slim build was far more slight without armor. He glanced up at me with a studying look. "I must admit, when the others told me who you really were, I didn't think it was possible. To believe such brilliance came from one who we know for such violence… it seemed a contradiction. Could you explain it to me?"

I blinked. He couldn't be serious. Being asked to explain my life story to him in this moment? It was not something I cared to divulge just yet. I had yet to tell even my wing mates some of my own past. I instead shuttered my optics and chose my words carefully. Some things are not meant to be explained… I said slowly. I will not make excuses for my actions… but I will say that my life turned to lead me in this direction and while I regret some of it, that does not mean I would have made a different choice.

"You would rather war than research?"

Research would not have made a mark in the world, as it is now. I likely would be dead. Fighting kept me alive, and I left my mark.

"At what cost, I wonder." Perceptor murmured. "Death… murder… destruction… that is no choice I would have made."

I am not you.

"Clearly." Perceptor said softly. His optics lifted to study mine once more. "But what path will you choose now? You have more than one option before you… you could choose to embrace science rather than war once more."

Perhaps. I said slowly, frowning a bit. He did have a point, however it was an unrealistic view given our current situation. But I am a warrior now. I cannot simply abandon that part of me any more than I can completely abandon science. It is a part of who I am. Perhaps when we have nothing left to fight for, then I might be able to fully pursue that path, but for now… I shook my head slowly, optics suddenly unfocused as I thought how nice it would be to bury myself in a lab without worrying about battles once more. An impossible dream, unfortunately. No, war was in my spark now… and trying to remove that spark of violence was like trying to remove salt from seawater: it involved a lot of heat and separation.

"I believe I understand." Perceptor surprised me as he smiled. "But do promise me one thing… that you will work with me again. Your ideas were brilliant."

I stared at him blankly, not able to comprehend his open-minded philosophy. You… don't object to working with the former Decepticon Air Commander?

"Not at all. Perhaps it's nostalgia, but science is far more interesting to me than anything else, transcending the boundaries of enemy and comrade. We worked well at peace together before, I feel at ease we might do so again, if you are still amiable to the idea." He turned and lifted a hand. "As I am a scientist and have not engaged you in battle, perhaps my perspective is different from the others… perhaps that is a good thing."

Perhaps… I agreed as I watched him leave. Then, once he'd gone, I thought quietly to myself. More than you know…

Screamer….?

What now?!

You've got issues.

Shut up.

It was half a cycle later that I was again interrupted from my well-needed recharge. Lights flickered on, and the sound of energon bars disengaging brought me awake. I grudgingly onlined my optics only to reveal a very solemn face staring down at me. I fought the urge to grimace. Prowl. I sent coolly.

"Starscream." He replied evenly in a formal tone lacking any emotion. He and Soundwave had a lot in common, only the difference in the Decepticon was he had been sparked that way. Prowl CHOSE to act this way. "You have more courage than I ever gave you credit for, playing us for fools like this."

You were fools to fall for it. I sent with a smirk, unable to stop from taunting him.

"We found no mech labeled Skyfire in any database."

You wouldn't. I replied, my smile fading. He died millennia ago.

"I see. One of your many victims?"

No! I snapped, surging to my feet despite my desire to remain calm. My optics burned with anger at the accusation. He died before the war.

Prowl's optics revealed nothing of what he was thinking as he studied my face. "Before the war." He stated with a thoughtful expression. I knew what he must be thinking. What was the mighty Air Commander like before the war? I had no intention of enlightening him further. "Prime wishes to speak with you."

Wonderful. I sent bitterly, crossing my arms. Well, I've got all day. Tell him to come down and he can kiss my shiny af--

"Watch it." Prowl said sharply, his optics narrowing. "I am tolerant of many things, but listening to anyone speak ill of my commander is not one of them. While you have been at our base you have, surprisingly, been very co-operative to the point we had no idea of your deception. This either tells me you are better at acting than we thought, or it tells me that you are so desperate that you would collaborate with the enemy willingly. Either way, you have behaved yourself, and I will do what I can to ensure others do not take advantage of your weakened position. Co-operation is in your best interest. I suggest you don't antagonize the situation and put yourself in more trouble than you are in currently."

How KIND of you. I sent bitterly.

Prowl just stared indifferently at me. "You do realize you aren't going to be released now that we know who you are."

I came here asking for amnesty. Has that changed? Will you no longer honor the code you so eloquently quoted me? Where is your Autobot honor? I loved being right, oh yes I did.

That made him frown. He knew I was being logical. I had him pinned. "As long as you behave, we will honor our bargain. But you are not free to roam about, for obvious reasons."

I get it already. Now let's get this out of the way.

"As you wish. Step outside the cell." The Tactician ordered. I did as I was told as Thundercracker watched our conversation calmly from his berth in the next block over.

If they do anything stupid, tell me. Warp'll get us out of here pronto.

Warp shouldn't teleport in his condition.

Doesn't matter, he'll do it anyway, you know him.

They've likely installed dampeners to stop him anyway. Just let me handle it. They can't be worse than Mega-ego.

Point. Just be careful. They ARE the enemy.

Don't you think I'm quite aware of that, idiot?

Prowl was extremely observant and didn't miss the sidelong glances we shared, but he said nothing about it as he pointed for me to turn around as stun cuffs were attached to my wrists. He wasn't taking any chances now, even with the EMP pulse generator that was still active in my chest cavity. But for the moment, there was no reason for me to try and escape. I still could not fly nor transform into any form at all, unless I scanned a ground vehicle. Without armor it would be extremely vulnerable, and my spark shuddered to think of resorting to that. I refused to be grounded, I would rather not transform at all. No, for the moment the best plan was to take advantage of our captors soft sparks and stay put. At least they weren't mistreating us, which was more than I could say for Megatron's typical hospitality. Most of the time when I ended in the brig I came out worse than I had come in. At least here my limbs were better than when I had arrived.

Prowl lead me down the corridor, and though it was quiet and empty I heard some mutters rippling off of my audio processors from down the hallways. Prime had obviously told the others to keep back and not antagonize me, but they were finding those orders hard to follow. More than one glare stole in my direction from various mechs. I smirked quietly at the irony of it. Only a day ago they had accepted me as a friend, of sorts. Now, I once again was their hated enemy, killer of their colleagues, a Decepticon. Convenient how they'd forgotten the battle lines when they hadn't known who I was… Yet, despite my urge to gloat, it was a little depressing. Though I would not speak of it to anyone even on pain of death, I had enjoyed playing the part of my old friend and being accepted. My spark ached a little realizing it had been a foolish hope that I could have fit in anywhere like that. Decepticon camaraderie was different from Autobots. There was a rough brutal edge to everything one did even when relaxing. Fights among ranks were common, as were many frequent drinks, and no one truly trusted the others, even those they called friends. I knew very little about any of the Decepticons, aside from my wing mates. We all took efforts to keep it that way. And I had no desire to learn their stories, I probably would have been bored or disgusted anyway.

My optics lifted as we approached the door of the Autobot Commander's office. Prowl didn't give me any additional warning, but we both knew it was unspoken hovering above our heads. Don't frag up. We're watching you. Uh huh. He opened the door for me and I entered before he shut firmly behind me with a solid boom.

Optimus was waiting.

I was usually considered to be an observant mech, as my rank required such a trait. I knew how those around me behaved and acted, but then I was used to empty frag-heads who didn't have much personality to hide. Optimus Prime was not such a mech, not so easy to read, and thus I felt a slight shift of my spark as I straightened my shoulders and approached slowly, stopping before his desk and refusing to take the seat. He noticed this and a small sigh escaped from his exhaust pipes. "If you wish to be treated as a prisoner we can oblige. However as you came asking for amnesty, I continue to consider you an extended guest."

Really. I stated wryly, flexing my wrists within the cuffs. I found that hard to believe.

Optimus reached forward and pushed a button on a small remote sitting on his desk, and immediately the cuffs fell off clattering onto the floor. "I apologize for the security measures, but until we are certain exactly what your intentions are we must take precautions. I am fairly certain you pose no current threat to us or anyone else on this base given your current condition. Your comrades will be held until we determine a solution to this situation."

I lifted an optic ridge and lightly rubbed my wrists as I carefully studied him. I hadn't expected this. The moment they'd found out I figured our numbers were up. That's what Megatron would have done, keep his prisoners for questioning, torture then do away with them once they weren't useful anymore.

I kept forgetting these Autobots were soft.

Was it softness though? Pity? Weakness? I had always thought so before, sneered at their stupidity and pathetic morals. But now that I was on the receiving end facing a one-way road, I suddenly began to get a better grasp on the concept of justice…

Thundercracker was rubbing off on me, slag him.

"Now, please have a seat if you wish while we talk. It is your choice of course, but I imagine we might be here for some time."

I frowned but slowly slid my protoform into the waiting seat. I could do with a rest I supposed, the leg that had been replaced still ached a little. I sat and then lifted my optics to regard him solemnly, trying to figure out just what he was going to ask. Secret plans, schematics, codes probably. I could provide him with all of that of course but I wasn't going to give it away free anymore, there would be a price. This was a bargaining session, not an interrogation.

Therefore I was completely unprepared for the question that was posed. "How are you feeling?"

I blinked in surprise. What? Not my best display of intelligence.

"How are you feeling? I understand Ratchet was concerned there might be some adjustments required after you had broken in your new repairs. Is everything working to your comfort?"

He had to be joking. He'd just found out he had the most valuable prisoner of the Decepticon forces short of Megatron himself and the first question was about how I was FEELING? I couldn't decide whether to snap a sharp reply or laugh. I am feeling no pain. I sent warily. A little stiffness, but it is a far play better than it was.

"Indeed. Ratchet informed me that he still cannot determine how you managed to stay online with such grievous injuries."

I am tough to kill.

"So many have discovered." Optimus' voice sounded slightly amused. I permitted myself a smile in return. At least we respected each other, when it came down to it. Unlike Megatron, Optimus saw all others as equals when it came to conversation. I could expect not to be spoken down or subjugated to derogatory remarks. Still, I had never before been captured by the enemy, for I was too quick, too cunning. Now that I had finally become their 'guest', I was a bit confused. I had pictured what it might be like being a prisoner of the Autobots, this definitely did not fit the mental image. "I have discussed the matter of continuing repairs to your structure with Ratchet. He has agreed to make the attempt."

That got my attention immediately as anything else flew out my mind in an astro-second. You would repair me after knowing who I am? Was he NUTS? This was going to be far too easy. I wouldn't even have to milk them of their sympathy.

"I have a few conditions before we approach that issue, but I see no reason to deny critical repairs to your structure. We do not believe in leaving someone defenseless, enemy or not, and we will do what we can to restore you. You came asking for help and we plan to provide it. Ratchet is already storing diagnostics while doing repairs on Skywarp." Optimus leaned forward on his desk studying me. "Do not misunderstand me, however. The request for amnesty is still being considered despite discovering your true identity, however you are not permitted to leave, and I feel more at ease keeping you restrained in the brig for the moment."

Despite the promise we were still prisoners, I felt a flutter of excitement rush through my spark. Finally a sign of hope. No longer grounded to this mundane existence of slowly crawling about in the dust. It was smothering, suffocating not being able to soar through the clouds. Even were I not able to fly free yet, simply possessing my wings again would be enough to stave my cravings for flight. Some of the depression that had set in since my arrival began to dissipate. I had thought the moment they discovered my identity the hope of ever flying again had just been destroyed. After all, why would they give their enemy wings to escape with? Were they simply taunting me? I lifted my optics to study Prime's face. He was serious as always but that was nothing surprising. There was always a catch to every offer. What exactly do you want from me?

"First, I want to know what exactly happened to make you seek assistance with your sworn enemy. You knew what might happen if you came here seeking aid, yet you came anyway, or was that your comrades' idea?"

I sighed slightly. Primus, the truth was so boring. I wanted to lie about something, but found myself unable to find a good reason to do so. It was my idea. I sent blandly. Were we to seek out a neutral medic he likely would not be someone very skilled, and there is always the risk of information leaking. I'm sure you don't have to imagine very hard to figure out what would happen if someone were able to get me on their repair berth while in recharge. At least seeking refuge with you would prevent word of my survival from getting back to Megatron. Besides, everyone knows you Autobots have the best medic. I smirked despite myself. After all, you need his services more often than we would.

Optimus studied me calmly, not taking the bait of my snide comment about his troop's effectiveness in battle. "You are in hiding then?" I shot him a glare, but refused to grace him with a response. He wasn't THAT stupid. "I see." He said solemnly, his optics taking in my dour visage. "Might I inquire what you did to warrant banishment of a murderous nature?" The unspoken phrase 'this time' hung between us.

He doesn't need a reason. I spat irritably. He grew tired of my constant rebellious attitude, and finally snapped. He has grown more and more unstable over the past orns. He lashes out for the smallest error, and finds perverse pleasure in carrying out his rage upon the closest mech available.

"And I might assume given your rank, that would be you?"

Predominantly. I grumbled.

Optimus frowned. "And you put up with this? For what reason?"

I frowned again. Was Optimus actually pitying me? I felt a surge of anger and bitterness rise within me. Did he HONESTLY think that I was something worth pitying?! I fixed him with a pointed sharp look. Are you feeling SORRY for me Prime? How TOUHING. Don't bother, I don't require your sympathy. You obviously do not understand Decepticon politics.

Optimus looked a bit taken aback. "To be truthful, no. I cannot see why brutality among the ranks would achieve anything positive."

But that's the point isn't it? I drawled, leaning back in my chair a bit. Decepticons do not operate as Autobots do, Prime. Decepticons rule by fear. We were established as such, and it continues to be so today.

"I just can't comprehend such methods…"

I sighed. Really, did I have to explain it to him? I spoke slowly as if I were explaining something to a sparkling. Megatron is the one who founded our new faction, this you know, yes? At his nod, I continued as patiently as I could make myself be. Megatron started out as a gladiator, a warrior. He was such when he gathered the first of us, trained us to be as he was. This is how he runs our forces. It is not for the weak. In order to move up in rank, you must prove yourself worthy of achieving that rank by defeating the current holder of that position.

Optimus looked startled, to my amusement. "You fight your superior for his position?"

Yes. I sent with a small twitch of my lips trying to hide my urge to smirk. Is it such a stretch, Prime? We are warriors, soldiers, and we are run as such. If a warrior is strong enough to defeat his superior, he is clearly the more fit mech for the job. How do you think I gained my status as Air Commander?

Optimus sobered quickly, a tense expression reflected in his optics. "I see. You defeated your commander?"

Exactly. I said smugly. I challenged my commander and won. I have held the position since.

"And this explains why you challenge Megatron so often…" Optimus mused, sudden realization seeming to strike him.

Exactly. There is only one position higher than mine. I was second-in-command, Air Commander and his right hand. Megatron's position is the only thing left for me to strive for, and you cannot deny it would be nice to be rid of him.

"You are right, I cannot deny that." Optimus said solemnly, though we both knew he was probably thinking I was no better of a choice as leader. "However, that does not explain the brutality of punishing his officers with physical reprimands."

Like I said, Prime… I drawled again, smirking. You obviously don't understand Decepticons as well as you think you do. It's EXPECTED that a superior officer reprimand his troops in such a matter. It keeps them afraid, in check, and helps discourage rebellions. All commanding officers are expected to discipline their troops in this manner, it's the way it has always been done. Those who do NOT discipline their troops usually do not remain commanders for long. We are not soft-hearted fools as you Autobots are, we are trained to fight, that is how we operate.

"And what of you?" Optimus said slowly, studying me critically.

I winced. Frag, he'd caught me. I am respected well enough without having to resort to such base tactics. I sent stiffly. My wing mates and I are a team, we are a unit that does not have problems some of the more volatile troops have.

"I see." Optimus said with a hint of a smile from behind his mask. "I cannot say I understand your factions' methods, but I suppose it does explain a few things." He sighed. "But you have not answered my question. What happened this time?"

I sighed. Here it came. It was odd that I didn't actually have to lie for this one. To be honest I'm not quite sure… I was going through some old files he had stored in the Nemesis computer banks… He discovered me and grew very angry at something I'd found, but in all honesty I don't know what it was that set him off. I hadn't even managed to open the files to see what they contained. He flew off the handle and decided I was finally more trouble than I was worth and took genuine steps to be rid of me permanently. I had long since stopped trying to understand his methods of madness. I was tired of the lifestyle as much as I was tired of dealing with him, yet I had known if I left and abandoned his cause he wouldn't have just let me go. He would have come after me and sent all his troops to finish the job. This way I managed to survive if barely, and he wouldn't come looking for me. It was a bitter cycle.

"You didn't get a chance to see the names of the files by chance did you?"

I frowned. Now here was the catch. Would Optimus know more than I if I gave him the names? It was best not to risk it just yet. I can't recall, my memory is a bit fuzzy… I'm sure I'll remember them eventually.

Optimus knew as well as I that I knew the file names, knowing my reluctance to feed him information was mistrust of the enemy, still he nodded at the response and sat down into his chair folding his hands on top of his desk. He could wait, I was going nowhere. "Amnesty with the enemy, it's not something Decepticons would willingly choose. You thought perhaps there was a chance we wouldn't discover your identity and you might leave at some point with a new life. But even we know you better than that. You have always been and likely always will be a very determined soul. Your goals have not exactly been subtle."

True. I smirked slightly at the amusement of the situation. I suppose I am an easy creature to read. But then… was I? Or was this just the façade I wore ever since I had taken the position of Air Commander? Even I wasn't sure anymore. The lines that had been blurred before were now positively smeared.

Optimus sighed a little, weaving his fingers together over his desk. "You understand our concerns then. You have never been one to trust even among your own ranks. Obviously this worries me."

Really? I sent wryly. And why does that concern me? If I refuse to tell you anything you simply will keep us contained in our cells, which at least is better than the alternative.

Optimus just lifted an optic ridge.

Frag him! I sighed and glowered grumpily in his direction. Fine, it'll drive me insane within a day, happy? He apparently knew Seekers were claustrophobic, it was a failing of ours. I hadn't been cooped up in one place during my stay, thus my paranoia hadn't had time to mature, but it would come if I was kept in that brig long enough, wings or no wings.

"My 'happiness' is not the issue here." Optimus replied calmly. "Obviously it is you who are in need of assistance. If you wish to remain here under the conditions of amnesty then I request information and co-operation from you. If you choose not to, that is your choice, however we will not reconstruct your structure without fair compensation."

I winced. So the Autobots did know how to play hardball. I thought we were here under requested amnesty.

"You are." Optimus said calmly. "Amnesty as defined by the Cybertronian Council is to pardon you for your past offenses. It does not mean we release you before a fair evaluation trial, nor repair you other than to stabilize your life. You will remain here until we gather a committee to decide if we will grant it or not. Until then, this situation is what I consider a fair trade."

I am not certain just how much I want to share with you. I sent warily eyeing him. You do realize that amnesty was just a ruse to get you to fix me, right?

"As the humans say, 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend'." Optimus stated calmly. "If you do not intend to return to the Decepticons then you have information that is of no use to you. We have the medical facilities and personnel available to assist you. If you choose to reject the offer then I will give it further thought. As you did request amnesty, as did your comrades, I will honor the request and give it due consideration. However, your co-operation will likely help in the decision. The choice is yours to take."

And what of all my 'crimes'? I sent back sharply. It was the one thing that had ridden high on my mind. Why would they harbor an enemy, co-operate with me when I'd caused the deaths of plenty of their ranks. I have killed more Autobots than I wager you have of Decepticons… I know more than one of your men would love to return the favor.

Optimus sighed heavily, and I knew I had hit the nail on the head. "It is true that you have much to answer for. But according to regulations, we do owe you a fair hearing to determine whether it is to be granted or not. Your crimes likely will be weighed in this trial, but as it is not a criminal trial we cannot convict you for anything you have done. If amnesty is granted then you will be protected under the law. If it is rejected, then we will have to assemble a criminal trial. But I will abide by the Cybertronian code of conduct in this manner, and hold any mech responsible should they break it. You and your comrades are here legally under our protection until the decision is made."

My optics shuttered closed so I could think. I was a bit relieved. Whatever happened for the moment the options were better than the fate waiting for us if we returned to the Decepticons. But whatever the result of the trial we were essentially stuck here with the Autobots until we decided to make our escape. The idea of working with the Autobots was almost as repulsive as returning to Megatron's side, and I fought the urge to laugh. While I had come to know more about them during my stay here, that didn't mean I sympathized with their 'save the humans' cause. On the other hand, Optimus had a point. The information I held was useless to me now, as I had NO intentions of returning to Megatron's ranks. I could use the info, but so could they and if the Autobots assisted on attack fronts even on their own plans not mine, it would be useful. It wouldn't be working with them so much as it would be a simple exchange of information from neutral parties. Besides, they might prove a useful distraction and I NEEDED my wings back.

I opened my optics. I have an alternate suggestion.

"Proceed."

I am the only one useful to you, and also I am the only one requiring your services, considering you have already treated my comrade, correct?

"Yes." Prime said slowly. "I can see no more insight available from your comrades than we could achieve from your co-operation. However, you know I cannot simply allow them to leave."

I realize that. I sent dryly. But they follow me, and know nothing more than I would. Their value is less than mine.

"Keeping them here at least takes two strong warriors out of our crosshairs."

True. I admitted with a smirk. But there is more that we could teach you other than codes and intel.

He lifted an optic ridge. "Meaning?"

Meaning we can teach you tactics that they use, so you can better know the enemy's movements. I know all their individual and team strategies. I can give you an insight to how they operate so you can better anticipate their actions.

"That would be of great use to us." Optimus admitted with a nod, but did not appear entirely convinced. "But after all this time serving under Megatron's command, you would give up the attempt to wrest power from him so quickly?" His optics studied me, obviously wondering the unspoken question of: would I return to his ranks with Autobot secrets?

A jolt of anger lit my spark up like a nova. I do not have to prove myself to you. You asked for a fair trade, if that's not what you are prepared to offer, then I have nothing more to say to you.

"Calm down, Starscream." Optimus said patiently, lifting a hand. "I have already attempted to verify your story, and from what we've been able to determine Megatron has issued an all-points alert to all bounty hunters and mechs looking for a bit of credits in return for your wing mate's whereabouts, and your head on a pike." I flinched. "Therefore, I feel fairly certain this is no ruse. Were it an attempt to infiltrate us, you could have come up with many other ways of penetrating our ranks without sustaining critical damage to your body." He shook his head as I slowly relaxed. "But I am curious why he has gone to this extreme to find you… and I must admit I have longed for the chance to find out more about why you sought to control the Decepticons for this long, and are so willing to simply give up your goal."

I frowned. I have been attempting to wrest control from Megatron for millennia and have failed at every turn. I am sick and tired of failing. I will not attempt such an action again unless I am guaranteed success, and even then… I trailed off thinking as I transmitted the next words. …what is the point now? Our planet has been stripped of resources, he leads a dying band of fools. They are not worth being led. Most of them are spineless cowards anyway.

Optimus leaned forward slowly, his optics brilliant and blazing, direct on mine. "You are well respected by your fellow Decepticons, Starscream. Perhaps not in the way you might like, but nonetheless few challenge your strength and skills other than Megatron himself. Were we to join forces to stop him, together we might put an end to this war permanently, end this pointless squabble and return to a unified Cybertron. What is your opinion on that?"

My optics unfocused for a moment. I had sought Megatron's position and power for so long solely on the idea that I could lead, be in charge, be respected. Over the years with so many failed attempts I had slowly begun to realize that dream was warped, twisted. I was returning to the scientific mind of my former self, before the war. War had a funny way of changing you. It was a universal concept, and one I hadn't believed in fully but still fought for. Yet with such a close brush to death as I recently had, I began to revert, unwind, change back. I was tired of fighting. I felt old. Perhaps it was Perceptor, reminding me of that which I had given up ages ago or for rekindling my interest in science… either way, I was quite surprised to find myself actually considering his offer. The ridiculous idea of working with the Autobots was so automatically ingrained into my awareness that now my pride had been momentarily deflated, I found myself finding sense in his words.

"I don't expect an answer now. Think about it, discuss it with your comrades." Optimus was continuing, taking my silence as an uncertain cue. "Understand whatever your choice, I will do everything in my power to ensure it is carried out fairly and justly.

Figures, I thought quietly to myself. Always a pillar of 'truth and justice' to the end.

Was it such a bad thing?