I had three different beginnings before this one, so I hope it's going to be alright now...
It's strange, but writing them off character is actually harder than writing them in character O.o
"Okay, guys. Here are the rules," Rose said after stepping out of the TARDIS. "Number one: No wandering off! And I mean no wandering off. I know you either don't want to or can't realise it, but both of you aren't in your right minds. Your personalities were changed completely which makes you to-" Her voice drifted off when she turned around and saw Jack being stuck in the TARDIS' doors because of his mass of clothes and the Doctor staring at her breasts while licking his lips hungrily. They were paying no attention whatsoever... "-two damn idiots..." Rose muttered under her breath.
She went to pull Jack out of the TARDIS (he was released with a plop) and snipped her fingers in front of the Doctor's face to get his attention.
"Eyes up here-" she said, pointing to her brown ones. "-or we won't go to my Mum's to eat her Shepherd's pie tomorrow."
The Doctor looked at her with pleading eyes. "B-But Rose! Your Mum's cooking is the best! And her Shepherd's pie... it's my favourite food. Well, right after-"
"-pears, I know," Rose finished his sentence for him.
The Time Lord radiated with joy. "Oh, Rose Tyler... you know me so very well. We are destined to be together!"
Rose just rolled her eyes in return. The truth was that the Doctor and Jack's behaviour was pretty easy to anticipate after her days of observing them. And she just had to expect the complete opposite of their normal behaviour, anyway.
"Okay, now that I have your attention... Rule number one: No wandering off. Rule number two: I'm in charge, so you do exactly as I say. And last but not least, rule number three: Don't do anything that could get us arrested. No flirting, no touching or licking of random things, of course no stealing and no hurting others and no insulting them either." She looked fiercely at Jack now. "That includes telling them off for their way of dressing, speaking or acting. Do you understand me?" Rose bellowed, making him jump behind the TARDIS to hide.
"Y-Yes, but please don't hurt me," Jack whined, his voice shaking.
When Rose heard the Doctor breathing hard behind her and practically felt his fingers twitch over her ass, she knew this would be a very, very long day...
xXx
Lucky enough, the Doctor landed the TARDIS near the biggest City of Hanceldonia which made Rose's task to find out where to get the herbs she needed (and maybe even buy them in a shop) much easier. Soon, she found a little stall that traded in herbs with a nice looking old woman behind it. The Hanceldonians looked human save for their slightly purple skin, which made it a lot easier for Rose to talk to them.
Although, she met all sorts of aliens already, she still had the urge to run for her life, whenever she met a race that looked like insects. That made negotiations a lot harder, sometimes...
The old woman gave her a charming smile when Rose approached the shop. "Oh, human, right? Don't get ones of yours often, we don't. Pretty things you are... Want to buy some herbs? Fine quality that is, that is..."
The way, the woman spoke only made her more sympathetic in Rose's eyes and she returned the smile. "That depends... You see, my friends had a little problem with some insects. They got stung and their personality changed to the opposite. I heard, that there is a remedy on this planet."
The woman's eyes lit up. "Oh, yes, yes. Hanceldonian fly, that is! Remedy yes... but friends stung here? Flies nowhere else than on this planet, they are. Rare too... no cases seen for long time, I haven't."
Rose's face fell. "Oh, no. It happened on a different planet... Is there no way, that the flies got to another one?"
"No, highly unlikely, that. No trade with other planets, we do. And not many ships leaving planet. Universe too big for us little peoples. We content with life here, we are," the woman answered kindly.
"Okay, ehm... do you have the remedy here? I would like to get them, just in case..."
"Oh, no. Don't do I. Herbs only growing on highest mountain of Hanceldonia. Hard to reach, hard to reach. Growing under snow, them do. No one has in town. Seldom need them, too."
Rose sighed. "Alright. Thanks for your help. I guess, we will search for the other remedy first, then."
The woman beamed at her and took her hand, shaking it vigorously. "Oh, yous have to come again, again! Love humans, we do!"
xXx
Hours later, Rose's hand still hurt from the handshake. Lovely as the old woman was, she had one hell of a grip. The Doctor and Jack didn't make it any easier for her to relax, either. The visit seemed to excite them too much, so Rose decided to wait with the second search until tomorrow.
Both men talked non-stop, after stepping back into the TARDIS. Jack complained about every single person they met and that there was no sign of any order, while the Doctor didn't see any place on the planet that would be appropriate for their wedding. Slowly, they got to the amazing conclusion that Rose lied to them and that was what made her really angry.
"I told you two right after stepping out of the TARDIS why we were on that planet... Did you forget that already?" But once again, her words didn't reach them. Jack cried crocodile tears because liars won't reach heaven and he was sad for her sake, while the Doctor turned on some cheesy music and approached her with a rose in his mouth. She won't ever forget that moment and would make damn sure that they didn't either...
While being whirled around like in a wave swinger and putting the Doctor's hand occasionally back from her ass to her waist, Rose thought bitterly about the next day. What if she wouldn't be able to find the remedy? What would she do with them?
Not having an answer to that question, she just swore to herself not to give up until she found it.
A life with these two idiots like that would, at best, drive her insane.
xXx
Sleep... Sleep was something, Rose didn't get all too often before the Doctor and Jack changed, but now, it was nearly impossible. Jack wasn't the one who drove her up the wall this time. No, just give him his cuddly blanket and he rolls himself into a small bundle on his bed, while sucking on his thumb.
The one who troubled her now, was the horny Time Lord himself. He refused to sleep alone in his own bed and took every opportunity to sneak into her room. The first night after that fateful little trip, Rose was naïve enough to think, he would be content with sleeping beside her. Just sleeping beside her. But that changed immediately, when he snuggled close to her body and she was able to feel something press hard into her back that surely wasn't his sonic screwdriver. Then his hand wandered to her stomach, under her pyjama top and up, while he breathed heavily into her ear.
Rose was paralysed for a moment, but then wriggled accidentally a little, which caused her ass to bump slightly against the Doctor's groin.
"Rose," he moaned into her ear, after that unexpected contact. That was enough for her to break her paralysis entirely and she threw him with a kick out of her room.
Today, she was able to get him into his own bed but that didn't keep him from sneaking into her room again and watching her sleep. When Rose then woke up because of the unmistakable feeling of being watched, she saw him looking at her tenderly like she was the most precious thing in the world. His eyes were fixed on her face and his features softer than she ever saw them before. He brushed her hair gently out of her face and then put his hand under her chin while touching her lips tenderly with his thumb. That moment was the only time, Rose thought about him staying that way and didn't flinch at the thought. She would of course never do that to him but a small part of her still wished him stay as honest with her as he was now...