IT'S A MIRACLE. I UPDATED. IT'S BEEN ALMOST A YEAR.
Sincere apologies, sorry for the broken promises, quite honestly I forgot I had a story on here for the longest time... but I suddenly remembered today, and I like to finish what I start... there will be one more chapter after this, and an epilogue that might go in the next chapter, or might go into a new chapter, depending on how long it is.

Well, as it has been about two years since I started writing this, my writing style and sense of humor has changed a bit... hope it's not too big of a change, or at least one that's off-putting.

Once again, sincere apologies. I hope this chapter makes sense as a stand-alone, because most of you, including me, probably do not remember what happened in the chapter before this.

"Hm…maybe…wait a sec," Daphne talked to herself as she paced around the room. "Maybe…but no, then…hm…"

She was driving Sabrina crazy.

"Marshmallow, sit down. I'm getting whiplash from watching you," Puck complained, rubbing his neck.

Daphne, lost in her thoughts, didn't notice. She didn't notice when Sabrina and Puck turned back to the computer and got sucked into yet another sappy romance fic. Didn't notice when they once again began staring like fish at the screen.

In fact, she was so absorbed in devising a way to cure their problem that she didn't even glance up when a failed spell from Jake sent a herd of buffalo stampeding down the hall.

Bonk. Bonk. Bonk.

Sabrina stopped her head-desking momentarily to watch the page load.

"I hope Marshmallow comes up with something soon." Puck said.

"Yeah, that'd be good." Sabrina raised her head as the page finally finished loading. Being in such a rural area didn't really help the strength of their Wi-Fi, not to mention that Baba Yaga's barrier had an… interesting effect on satellite signals.

A New Years to Remember by Sophia Martin

"OH MY GOD! YES! YES! PUCK GOODFELLOW I WILL MARRY YOU!"

"Enthusiastic to be marrying someone as handsome and as smart as me, aren't you?" Puck ribbed.

Jake, who was walking by in pursuit of his herd of buffalo, must've heard the last sentence as he responded, "Smart? As I remember, you couldn't even count to two the first time I met you."

Sabrina had to muffle her laughter while Puck chased Jake out of the room.

She screamed and crashed her lips against his, at first he was startled by the sudden outburst.

Sabrina smiled and kissed him sweetly.

"Hey, I didn't know you were capable of being sweet," Puck joked, giving Sabrina a mock punch.

He earned a real – and very powerful – punch in return.

"I love you." She said against his lips.

"I love you too." He replied.

"Funny way of showing it, don't ya think?" Puck asked as he picked himself up off the floor.

"Go away," Sabrina deadpanned. "This is a story. Get your head out of the clouds, fairy boy."

"Hey, I can dream, can't I?"

"Uh-huh. Next story."

Carnivorous Carnival by Lara D

"No!" I said as he tackled/tickled me My heart thumped loudly when I realized what position we were in.

Sabrina's face began to resemble a tomato.

He was on top with his arms holding me down and our faces were inches apart. We were staring straight in the eye. He was leaning closer to me and my heart beat twice as fast. And our lips touched ever so lightly. He was kissing me!

"I HAVE A SOLUTION!" Daphne burst in eagerly. (She really did do everything eagerly.)

At the exact same time, Sabrina and Puck slammed the screen of the laptop down.

Daphne blinked a few times to recover from the shock, then said, "Uh… It'd be nice if you didn't break that, I need that…"

"More fanfiction?"

"Yep!" Daphne beamed at her sister. "I thought maybe you weren't reading the right kind of fanfiction- I mean, after all, the best cure to something is the thing itself, right?"

"…Marshmallow, that made absolutely no sense," Puck said. He can be rather blunt at times.

"Well, it's a bit like when you get a vaccine, where they put weak germs in you so your body recognizes them later and you don't get sick…" Daphne said.

"They do that?" Puck screeched. "I knew it was a bad idea to let weird smelling people stick needles in you."

Eh? Sabrina thought. That idiot never seems to get sick anyways…

"So, this is my idea," Daphne said, navigating her way though the website with surprising ease.

Love Until the End by yorkie999777000

"Huh?" Sabrina and Puck said at the same time.

"Marshmallow, how is this one any different from the other's we've slogged through?" Puck asked.

"You'll see."

"Puck, I need- I need to talk to you, alone." [Sabrina] whispered.

"Yes Sabrina?" He said as everybody filed out of the room. His eyes were wet and red with tears.

"I don't want to die, I'm only 15. I love you." Sabrina said, and with that, her head fell to the pillow beneath her and she exhaled her last breath.

Sabrina Grimm was dead.

"I love you too! Don't go! Don't leave me! Please, why did you have to take her!" He screamed to the sky. "Why couldn't you have taken me? I'm old enough! WHY!" Puck shouted to nobody in particular.

After five days, he finally fell asleep next to her dead body.

Puck was frowning, an expression that was only usually seen on him when he had eaten all the food in the house and was debating whether or not to eat Elvis' kibble.

"I can stay awake for way longer than five days…"

A few minutes later, he continued reading with the eye that wasn't swollen shut.

That was when they removed them both and took him to the Grimm household.

When he woke up, he had a plan.

When everybody else woke up, they were startled to find Puck dead in the bathroom.

He left to be with her. And he left a note.

"Dere Grimmms,

U r tha best famly Ive ever nown I luv u all, butt Sbrinea iz not here.

I luv her soe much that I kant liv withowt her.

By the last paragraph, Sabrina had tears streaming down her face. Sure, it was a cheesy, sappy story (or at least that's what she kept telling herself – it was just a story) but having something like that written about you was really weird. It was like having someone predict your death.

Puck was too manly (*cough* yeah, right *cough*) to cry, but his usual goofy smirk was missing as he stared at the screen.

About half an hour later, after Jake had finally rounded up all his buffalo and turned them back into the shoes they were supposed to be (although a few ended up looking like they belonged to Barbies instead of human beings) he walked by the computer room to see Sabrina and Puck looking as somber as they did back when their house had first gotten destroyed. Well, to be accurate Puck looked more like he had just discovered that Granny Relda had announced that she was no longer letting him eat everything in sight.

But beside the point.

Being the heroic, amazing uncle he was, Jake strolled into the room with a concerned, "What's wrong kiddos?"

"Marshmallow made us read a sad story," Puck mumbled.

"Did she?" Jake asked. It seemed extremely un-Daphne-like of her to do that. "Where did she go, anyways?"

"Something about resizing shoes that she discovered in the living room," Sabrina grumbled. "The least she could've done is cheer us up again before messing with shoes."

"Shoes?" Suddenly Jake remembered the mess of shoes he had left in the living room.

Oops.

Well, the least he could do is take over Daphne's original job of cheering up the poor couple. (Yes, even Jake shipped Sabrina and Puck.)

"Hey guys, look what a fan sent me the other day!" Jake said, waving a printout in their face.

Puck grabbed the paper. "R-ran…ran-dum….uh…"

Sabrina snatched it away from him. "Random Awesomeness," she read, "by yorkie999777000. Wait, this is the same author, what if it's more angst-sad-stuff?" Sabrina looked at Jake, who put his hands up defensively. "I promise it's quite light-hearted."

One day, a dolphin named Mark came up to Sabrina.

"Hey dolphin, is your name Mark?"

"Somehow I already know this story will be kinda random," Puck commented.

"Oh really, can't be the title, can it?" Sabrina replied sarcastically. But to Jake's delight, both of them were already looking a bit happier then they did a few seconds ago.

"Yep."

O_o

"WWWWOOOOAH! Is your mom's name Mark?"

"Wait, why would a girl be named Mark?" Puck asked.

Sabrina rolled her eyes. "Puck, we've been over this. You're named after-"

"-something that's hit around in a hockey game. I know, I know, I have no idea what my mother was thinking when she gave me that name," Puck frowned.

"Hockey, perhaps?" Jake suggested.

"Yep."

"Cool. Hey, would you like to dance?"

"Yep."

And with that, Mark, the talking, dancing, dolphin jumped up and did the tango with Sabrina.

"Wai-"

"It's a story, fairy boy. It doesn't need to make sense."

Well, Sabrina seemed to be back to her usual snappy, temperamental self, Jake thought. Puck, too, should be fine in a few minutes. Guess my job here is done. He quietly waltzed out of the room to join Daphne downstairs in putting the family's shoes back in order.

"That is COOOOOL! Would you like to meet Puck?"

"Of course everyone wants to meet me-"

"Just keep telling yourself that if it makes you happy."

"Yep."

And she left.

What Sabrina didn't know, was that as she left, Mark grew legs and began to attack Fairyport Landing!

"What. Okay, stories don't need to make sense, but this is ridiculous," Puck said, but a large grin was spreading across his face.

"The title is 'Random Awesomeness'," Sabrina pointed out.

As Sabrina was pulling Puck along, they saw Mark.

"PUCK, LOOK IT'S MARK! I THINK I LOVE HIM."

Sabrina said dreamily.

"You're in love with a psychotic talking, dancing dolphin with legs. I think it's a perfect match," Puck snorted.

It was worth the punch to the face.

This made Puck sad.

"Yes, a punch to the face makes me sad," Puck said, rubbing his already-swollen cheek.

So sad, that he cried a river.

"Make sure they name that river after me. Something like 'Trickster King River' sounds about right."

Daphne came out to him and ate his shoes.

"AAHHHH! My shoes, why must ye' eat them?"

Daphne just looked up at him and gurgled.

Canis came out.

"Wait, out of her mouth, or just out like…out of nowhere…or out of the clos-"

"Puck, shut up and enjoy the story."

Suddenly, strange happy music began to play, and Kevin the Deceiver came to life, leading them on a magical rainbowy path.

"Isn't it Kraven the Deceiver-"

"IHAVENOIDEAWHATYOU'RETALKINGABOUT!" Puck screamed.

"FOLLOW MEEEE."

Kevin began to sing as his eyes grew big and Japanese cartoonish.

"Okay fine, he's the first cousin of Kraven the Deceiver," Puck mumbled.

And as they reached the end of the rainbow, they saw a dolphin putting a pot of gold down.

"MARK!"

Puck exclaimed.

"Nope."

"Oh, sorry, who are you?"

"Matthew, his evil sister."

O_o

"You want to go sing a song to the moon?"

"Nope."

Puck's lower lip began to tremble.

"NOBODY LIKES ME! WAAAHH."

"Impossibru!"

Just then, Dora came and hugged him.

"I like you, now, let's go home, how do we go home if we don't know the way?"

A giant polar bear that was sitting on a toilet reading a newspaper suddenly popped up.

"Would you mind? The polar bear asked, then popped away again with a flushing sound.

At this point both Sabrina and Puck were literally rolling-on-the-floor-laughing, such that they vaguely resembled the last sentence of the story.

Now, every one rolled up in a ball and began rocking back and forth sucking their thumbs.

Daphne looked up suddenly from the large pile of shoes.

"Uncle Jake, what is that- is that maniacal laughter? What'd you do-"

"Don't worry about it, let's just say Sabrina and Puck should be back to normal after all that laughing dies down," Jake smiled.

Meanwhile, upstairs the printout in Sabrina's hand began glowing vaguely. Some of the letters began glowing more strongly than the others, resulting in something that looked a bit like this:

One day, a dolphin named Mark came up to Sabrina.
"Hey dolphin, is your name Mark?"
"Yep."
O_o
"WWWWOOOOAH! Is your mom's name Mark?"
"Yep."
"Cool. Hey, would you like to dance?"

In case you have trouble picking out the bold type in the last paragraph, the letters are "Oocspell", or "OOC Spell." Hint about the next chapter? Maybe.