My Madness, My Saving Sanity

Chapter Fourteen: Fallen

By: Nightelfcrawler

Author's note: While this is G1 based, I've made Starscream a blend of his G1 and Armada personalities just because I find the dichotomy of it fascinating. It takes place in no particular timeline, following no particular events. Also, please review politely. If you haven't something nice to say, keep it to yourself please.

Irony, it seemed knew no boundaries.

Only months ago I remembered wondering why my 'death' didn't feel real, why I hadn't seen it coming, and regretting it hadn't been the death I had envisioned. As it had turned out, obviously I had not died.

Perhaps I was slightly omniscient… Only Primus knew.

It was odd… I felt no pain when it happened. I had suffered insurmountable pain in my life, and one assumed that when your spark was being extinguished, that would be the worst pain of all. It had been very painful at the outset, but oddly now I felt a sense of calm…

Of course that could be due to the fact my spark was no longer connected to my body.

This really was an undignified way to go…

The last thing I recalled hearing was Megatron's cruel laughter, just before his fist crushed my spark chamber into shards of crushed metal, the energy within pulsing and exploding into a million fragments of light, as I knew no more.

The days following Skyfire's arrival proved to be interesting for all of us. Not only had the Autobots discovered Skyfire was completely the opposite of what they had envisioned, but they found it puzzling that such a gentle kind-hearted softie would be such fast friends with ME.

Amusing, indeed.

Skyfire for one found the Autobots a pleasant group, as they were closer in mind with his own past lifestyle. He had little in common with Ironhide or Prowl, but found discussions with Ratchet comfortable as well as laughing with Jazz. Predictably he hit it off best with us science types. I heard through various grapevine that the Autobots found it extremely peculiar every time they saw me meshing ideas with Wheeljack and Perceptor, Skyfire throwing in his own views eagerly.

It just didn't fit 'me', they said.

Irony indeed.

For the most part we meshed well with the Autobots. Skywarp and Thundercracker went on training excursions more often than I, as there were times I blocked out their persistent badgering in favor of an all-night brainstorming session. However, I couldn't ignore them all the time, nor did I wish to. Therefore, Skyfire joined us on our rounds as we flew in a familiar V formation, myself at the point, my wing mates on either side and Skyfire in the center. We made for an impressive sight to any military enthusiast, I supposed.

It was fascinating in a way how comfortable we had become in this situation. Granted, verbose arguments were very frequent in the halls or refueling rooms, usually at the Twin's expense. But unlike the Decepticon ranks, fire was not exchanged when tempers flared, merely words.

Nonetheless, this disgusting peaceful atmosphere was bound to be shattered.

It started as just a routine reconnaissance mission. Check out reports of strange aircraft hanging around the military base, make sure there was no threat. I had thought it sounded suspicious.

I should have listened to my gut instinct.

The moment we entered the airspace, the military jets in patrol fell into formation with us. Though the pilots had not been 'enlightened' as to our true natures, they did know to respect the 'strange group of renegade fighters with freakish paint jobs' as allies of an unknown agency. We had high priority top-secret government clearance, after all. Of course, we did make a colorful crew, what with red, white, black, purple and blue being the primary color scheme of our squad, not to mention that three F-15's and one SR-71 were not common-placed to fly together. We'd been given little trouble, however. I had to hand it to the human military, they were professional with their pilots. Our escort was polite and to the point, informing us they had seen nothing since the initial spotting. My query as to what they had seen to tip the alarm however was not promising.

They hadn't been sure WHAT they'd seen.

I knew it right then.

There was only one flying critter too small to be a plane and to arouse suspicion with the human military. And that meant only one thing: Laserbeak. And where that little pest went, Soundwave followed. And if Soundwave were around, then the Decepticons were up to something.

What do you think, Starscream?

I think it smells like slag.

Too right.

I didn't like it. What reason could Soundwave have sneaking around a low-priority military base? There was no energy source here, no significant military point of interest. It seemed out of character. And anything out of character meant they were UP to something.

It didn't take us long to find out just WHAT it was.

As the four of us circled back to head home, I caught the flash of something silver down below. I knew instinctively there was only one thing that could have been. Scatter! I ordered without hesitation, moments before a violet streak of energy slammed through the center of where our formation had been, missing us by inches. I swore loudly, not bothering to hide it from the other members of the trine.

Frag, that was Mega-ego!

Ya think?!

What's he want with us?

Target practice.

I don't care what he wants. I snarled. I'm going to tear him to SHREDS!

No, wait Star! He doesn't know you're with us yet and won't recognize you, don't blow your cover! We can't take him all on our own, let's call for backup!

I completely ignored Skyfire as a red haze filtered in over my optics enraptured in my rage, and I plunged straight for the glinting silver light, snarling internally as I saw his ugly face leering at me from behind the cliff where he'd fired his fusion cannon from. Rational thought had just vacated my CPU. I was completely focused on the one thing that always happened whenever I felt that urge to take out Megatron: pure unfiltered hatred and rage. Nothing else mattered when I was like this… It was my one severe failing that I allowed my emotions to overcome me to this extent that I couldn't even think straight. Still, as I plunged downwards, a shred of thought penetrated my mind. Odd… he was alone. Where were the others?

As his optics lifted skywards, I saw the expression etched on his face. Confusion gave way to suspicion and finally recognition as my sleek white, red and black form was clearly recognizable in my alt mode, even if my mech form was different there were few differences here and now. "Starscream!" he bellowed. "I thought I recognized your foul stench!"

I didn't even think about what I was doing, and transformed in mid-air, my momentum still carrying me towards him as I lowered my null-rays to take aim at his face. "MEGATRON!" I snarled. "I'll take you out now, coward!"

Aw frag… he's lost it.

Does he do this often?!

Yes, actually. We'd better back him up or Megatron's going to frag him up again. Ratchet'll be pissed if he has to put him back together all over.

Oh dear…

My mind was in a red haze nonetheless, not hearing a word of the chatter between my wing mates. Megatron was here, right in front of me for the first time since I'd been whole again… and my rage that I'd been holding back, suppressing and pushing aside was now exploding out around me as often as my null-rays fired down upon him. I heard nothing of my wing mate's conversation, nothing of their warnings.

I wanted his head on a pike.

Boiled in oil.

And painted pink.

Oh yes. Revenge WAS a dish best served HOT. Burning hot with fury!

I wasn't sure when the others showed up. I was too busy. I was faster, smarter and more experienced this time, and I had Megatron working to defend himself. Without me and my wing mates to back him up, he seemed pathetically weak. Each blow I delivered sent him reeling backwards, each blast from my Null-ray missed him by only inches instead of feet. And yet I was constantly determined, focused and intent on one thing…

His death.

I suppose that's why I failed.

If I'd had time to reflect on it, I'd have wondered WHY they'd waited this long to take me out. They could have done it when they'd attacked the base, they could have done it ANY time, to be frank. They knew I was there, yet they hadn't acted.

But no… Megatron wanted to see the look on my face when Soundwave used his hacked knowledge he'd ripped from my brain during his previous psychic attack.

The EMP disablers' frequency trigger.

I'd completely forgotten about it until that point, when the strange sensation of everything going numb hit me. I'd tried tinkering with it when it had been installed and uncovered the frequency trigger but not the disabling code, and obviously Ratchet had not removed it during my upgrade like I'd thought. Prime had TRUSTED me… he'd TRUSTED me enough to give me command of troops.

But he hadn't trusted me enough to remove his back-up safety net.

I felt the world swimming around me as my arms fell limp and my legs buckled right in front of Megatron like a sparkling who had abruptly been cut off from it's energon supply. I fell slowly, watching the smirk spread slowly across Megatron's face before my face hit the sand. I heard his footsteps reverberate forebodingly as they neared, then stop as he knelt directly in front of my frozen unblinking optics… and smiled in that familiar cruel way.

"I am going to enjoy this." He purred softly.

One last thought flittered across my mind. Oh frag… I am SO screwed.

"Starscream!"

The cry startled most of the combatants across the battlefield into silence, as many pairs of optics shifted to search for the red and silver Seeker. The sight before them sent cold chills down their spine.

Megatron stood tall and formidable, one fist firmly clenched tightly around the Air Commander's throat, the other hand holding a bent and twisted metal piece that had once been the Seeker's wing sword. Starscream was completely and utterly limp against the hold, his other fist still gripping his second sword tightly, but a blast of Megatron's cannon sent it flying across the battlefield, disarming him in an instant. "Starscream, you cowardly fool…" Megatron hissed darkly, a cruel smirk on his lips. "You are far more tenacious than I thought." His cold gaze lowered to the dark slash across his chest, energon freely leaking down his chassis front where the Seeker had scored a direct and almost fatal blast. Unfortunately, it hadn't been enough. Starscream's foolish need for vengeance had made him short-sighted when it came to his opponent, and now he was clearly stuck in a dangerous position. He tried to growl something, but Megatron's grasp on his throat tightened, choking off any sounds, ignoring the rest of the watching combatants. "But this is the last time you will defy me, traitor…"

"Starscream!" The alarmed cry came from above as both Skywarp and Thundercracker became aware of what was going on, and had abandoned their fights to plunge to the rescue of their wing mate. Skywarp dove straight down at breakneck speed, a tell-tale shimmer around him as he prepared to warp, Thundercracker tight on his back. From high above, Skyfire turned in time to see the scene play out… but none of them were fast enough.

With a cruel smirk of satisfaction, Megatron slammed his fist into the vulnerable Seeker's cockpit, shattering the glass in a spray of gold shards, and wrapped his fingers around the fragile spark chamber buried beneath his plating. Starscream's head arched back as a choked scream of agony ripped from his compressed throat, at the same time Skywarp and Thundercracker burst out of the dimensional jump they had dove into, screaming bloody murder as they closed in for the kill. They couldn't fire until they were right on top of him for fear of hitting their wing leader.

But precious seconds were costly.

There was a small pulse of blue light as Megatron's fist wrapped around the spark chamber, and Starscreams' frame seized up in agony, before with one violent jerk, Megatron ripped it from his chest violently, sparks flying from energon lines as they were severed.

There were two bloodcurdling screams, as Skywarp and Thundercracker both wobbled unsteadily in the sky, curling off to the side and losing altitude quickly before both slammed into the earth with an explosion of dirt and fire, every limb twitching as they transformed upon impact, their screams echoing the one still lingering from Starscream's twitching body.

It fell still and silent abruptly.

The silence was deafening as shocked optics stared in disbelief at the scene. As Megatron's fist closed around the spark chamber, Thundercracker and Skywarp also fell silent, their twitching stopping as they fell silent to the ground.

No one could believe what they had just witnessed.

Megatron smirked, opening his palm to stare in satisfaction at the metal shards laying shattered in his hand, no sign of life dancing within, as he carelessly dumped them onto the ground before he took one hard look at the dark optics of his former second in command, and threw the body carelessly aside. Before anyone could act, his fusion cannon powered up and with an enormous crack that echoed across the cannon walls, the blast left his canon and slammed into the falling body. "Now, finally I am rid of you for good. I dare you to come back from THAT, Starscream." There was a faint glitter in the air as the light vanished, but that was all that was left of the former Air Commander, as the metal disintegrated into particles. With a final smirk at the stunned Autobots, he turned and gestured to his troops. "Decepticons! Withdraw!"

No one tried to stop them as they left.

"Primus…" Ratchet whispered harshly, kneeling down to the rocks and slowly picking up the only remaining pieces of their fallen Air Commander. The wing-sword stood jammed between rocks, the only thing unmarred, looking forlorn and alone, the single existing piece that had survived Megatron's wrath. "He didn't deserve this… This was our fault…"

"The others?" Optimus asked quietly in a somber voice, glancing to the two unconscious Seekers.

Skyfire stood from where he had been inspecting both his friends. "Minor injuries physically… I cannot be sure of their mental status… feeling his spark…" Skyfire's vocalizor trailed off, choked up, his optics staring distantly down at the two Seekers. He was not a member of their link… but he was still their friend… and more than that, he had been the closest friend Starscream had ever had… it was a heavy loss to him more than anyone else, aside from Thundercracker and Skywarp.

"Bring them back to the base… we'll regroup there." Optimus said quietly.

"Yes sir."

No one said a word the entire trip back.