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Warning: past abusive relationship, drug use

I do not own the Avengers or anyone therein.

Chapter 3
They are meeting at the zoo entrance and for the first time in a long time Tony isn't purposefully late to a date. In fact, he's early. With how hesitant Loki had been about going out again, he doesn't want to give the guy any excuse to ditch.

He glances at his watch for what feels like the billionth time and tries to keep himself from pacing. It's five past three. Five more minutes, he tells himself firmly, one finger tapping the center of his chest. Five more minutes, then I'll leave.

"Stark, do you always scowl so intensely when you are alone in public?"

"Most the time, keeps the paparazzi away when they think I'll test out new toys on them." Tony turns, grinning at Loki. He sweeps his eyes over the younger man, not letting his smile falter as he takes in Loki's appearance. "You usually late to everything?"

"I overslept. I apologize."

"Yeah? Well how bout that. I can tell Steve that I waited for someone for once. Come on." He starts walking towards the ticket booth, keeping an eye on how fast Loki walks.

Loki looks… sick. Well, more like death is debating giving him a personal visit. His paleness is more sallow than ivory, and he doesn't have that same cat-like grace to his movement. His nose is running a bit, though he apparently came armed with tissues in one of his coat pockets. He is wearing his usual coat, but Tony can catch a glimpse of a sweater underneath. Loki is still shivering a bit despite the slight sheen of sweat on his forehead.

Tony buys two tickets. Loki looks annoyed about it but Tony just waves it off.

"My treat. You look like you need one." Loki's eyes just narrow at the comment. "Hey, don't get upset. You didn't have to come you know."

"And have you moon to Steve and Steve give me the most disappointed look he can manage? Thank you, but no. And no, I'm not calling Steve to tell him I can't meet his best friend for another… thing." Loki licks his lips.

"Hey, I'm hurt. You don't want to call this a date? That's what this is, isn't it?"

"You tell me," Loki says, raising an eyebrow. Tony rolls his eyes, putting one of his arms through Loki's. He feels Loki stiffen but ignores it.

"Date. But don't call it that to Steve. He'll just get all proud and his big blue eyes will get all glimmery and I would not be able to keep this dashing physique with the tons of pastries that would appear in our house."

"I take it you are all about your seconds then?"

"Not unless it's really good." He winks at Loki and can't help his grin getting bigger when he sees the faint flush spread across those sharp cheekbones.

XXXXXX

"Hey, what do you like anyway? You haven't really pointed out any animal that is your favourite."

Loki blinks, coming out of his daze, meeting Tony's honey-brown eyes. He isn't expecting the question; Natasha knows and he generally doesn't meet new people. Well, people outside of work, people who would want to know that sort of thing about him. He licks his lips, feeling a bit of trepidation. He doesn't really want Tony to look disappointed or disgusted or some manner of negative when it didn't meet Tony's expectations or perfectly line up with what Tony likes.

Don't be so afraid all the time. Not everyone is like him. I promise.

"Panthers." He clears his throat a little, sniffling and wishing his nose would stop running and everything stop aching and the sunlight stop being so bright reflected off the snow. "Panthers. And wolves are alright too."

"Yeah, you would like those, wouldn't you. Panthers especially. You look a bit like one, you know. Black hair and bright green eyes and all lithe like." Loki blinks. Is Tony… flirting with him? Again? Tony isn't even looking at him as he says it, eyes watching the penguin display.

Probably just second nature, Loki thinks to himself firmly and tries to get through his headache so he can actually be in this moment.

"You hungry?"

The mere mention of food makes his stomach churn and him feel like he might vomit. Again.

"Considering how green you just got, I take that to be 'no.' Let's get hot chocolate then."

"Alright." Loki follows in Tony's wake, pulled along by their entwined hands. "You are not buying this for me as well. I am perfectly capable of buying things. I have a job as well, even if it does not involve 'playing with machine guts' as you so eloquently described it."

"Fine, fine." Tony holds up his other hand in defeat and grins at him. "You can buy me a hot chocolate, too, so that you can maintain your sense of independence."

Loki snorts, but they find the concession stand easily enough. The hand that had been laced in Tony's is warm, but it's his right hand, his off hand. His left is freezing despite being shoved in his coat pocket, and he trembles a little anyway when he reaches into his wallet to hand over the cash for the chocolates. Tony isn't really paying attention, talking about something to do with how penguins regulate their body temperature. A couple of the quarters fall, and Loki tries not to swear as they hit the pavement and clatter, remembering the last time he'd paid for something in cash with someone there—Clint—and he just sort of shrinks back into himself and tries to brace for the inevitable shouting or silence or biting comment or something.

Tony doesn't even stop talking ("It's kind of interesting really, if you think about it. It's been ages since anyone's paid in cash around me, but anyway, ton of the nervous system is there in your spine, and a black back just makes it so they can warm up that much faster"), just reaches down and grabs the quarters and hands them to the cashier, his own hot chocolate already in hand. He stops when he realizes Loki isn't moving. Loki forces himself to shove his wallet back in his pocket and grab his chocolate and move, even though he can't understand what is happening.

Tony hadn't even noticed.

And Tony has his fingers laced in Loki's again, Loki's right, Tony's left, sipping his hot chocolate, pulling him to go see the large cats (because he loves the large cats, especially the cougars) like Loki being clumsy and slowing everyone down isn't even worth commenting on.

"Hey," Tony says, and Loki snaps his attention to Tony's face, lined with concern and a certain tenderness Loki isn't sure he's seen before. "You okay?"

"I am… fine. Tired is all. Clumsy." He mentions it because he isn't sure that he believes that he's not getting passive aggressively (or aggressively, sometimes Clint wasn't picky) tormented for the coin thing. And Tony just smiles at him, not one that shows all his teeth but a small one, more of a quirk of the lips.

"Yeah, that's what happens when you're sick. You wanna go?" Loki tries not to stare, so he looks at whatever animal they're at now, the lions.

"No." And he means it. He squeezes Tony's hand a little more tightly because this is the nicest he's felt in a long, long time.

XXXXXX

Tony is relieved to see Loki looking the picture of nearly perfect health when he walks into the art museum for their next not-date date. He really hadn't looked all that good when they'd been at the zoo, and he'd been worried all week that Loki was worse (because he was not going to ask Steve and even though they had swapped numbers he would also not frivolously text Loki to see if he was feeling better).

Art museums are really not Tony's place, but he suggested it because something about Loki makes him think the guy really digs art. And apparently there is some major gallery moving through and besides, he got free tickets from work because apparently Odin, allfather of Valhalla Industries and guy who basically made sure Tony had plenty of things to play with, has sponsored the show or made some donation or something. Tony doesn't really know or care.

"Steve will be most impressed when you brag about being on time twice in a row," Loki quips when they start to wander through the hallways.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. See if I'm on time next time," and Tony almost swallows his own tongue because he realizes he really would like there to be a next time. Loki is looking at him kind of funny, so he quickly added on. "I should get to make fun of you, not the other way around. You're the one who was late last time."

"I was sick!"

"Yeah, you hide behind your excuses. You were late, I figured you might be again, so that's why I just walked in instead of being early. I'm a busy busy guy, you should be glad I manage to sneak out of work."

"You snuck out of work? Tony!" But Loki's eyes glimmer in approval.

"Course I did, I have a date with a very charming guy. Had to make sure you weren't sick."

"You could have called. Or texted. You do have my number now."

"You could have updated me with a 'I'm not dead!', but you didn't. I thought it was just in case one of us was running late or needed to cancel."

Loki just rolls his eyes.

At first, Tony asks him questions about things, and he tries to pretend he is interested in the art, he really does, but it all looks kind of the same to him. But it doesn't to Loki because Loki's eyes flick over some pieces and at others he stops and just stares and gets close to the canvas as if he can grasp something evanescent if he just looks hard enough. Loki doesn't even seem to notice the silence that settles down, comfortable as a blanket and hot cocoa on a cold night. Tony is okay with that—it gives him a chance to just watch, because if the art isn't great, the way Loki's face moves and expresses and shows what he is thinking while he is wrapped up in studying the art is. Tony hadn't even known a face could be so expressive before today.

He can get to like art, he thinks, or at least what comes with it.

So they wander through the museum, and Tony just keeps his fingers laced in Loki's hand and sometimes he feels a little bored, but then Loki stops to stare at something else. Loki glances up and meets his gaze once and blinks, suddenly torn out of wherever he goes, his face closing off and Tony wants to despair because that just isn't fair at all, but he just makes himself grin at Loki.

"You're bored," Loki says.

"Eh, maybe a little. Art isn't really my thing."

"Then why are we here? You picked it out!"

"I thought you'd like it."

Loki gets that weird look on his face again, the same one he had at the zoo after they got the hot chocolate. Tony frowns at him, trying to figure that look out and what it means, but he has never been very good at understanding emotions. Other than these little incidental things he's seeing out now, he doesn't really know enough about Loki to even start to guess.

"Let's do something else. You are bored."

They head back to the entrance and are greeted by a fantastically thick snowstorm. It's falling so tightly and fast there was no visibility past a few feet, and already piling up faster than plows could get to it.

"Looks like we're trapped for a while," Tony points out, hoping this means Loki will go back to looking at art and Tony can go back to watching that infinitely changing face. Loki just looks at him like he isn't being bold enough with one of those perfect eyebrows raised.

"There's an ice cream shop just down the street."

"You want ice cream. In this weather." Tony points outside the glass doors of the museum, where snow falls like it might not get a chance to any other day of the year. "We'll get lost."

Loki grins at him.

"Your age is showing," and then his hand slips out of Tony's and he runs into the snow laughing and Tony swears, looks apologetically at the startled looking old couple that has been watching them and bursts out into the snow after Loki, trying to get his coat on at the same time because it's cold.

"Loki, dammit, you little weasel, I am not old, get back here," he yells, nearly falling on his face in the fresh snow, and Loki is ahead of him stumbling and fumbling in the snow too, still laughing, looking over his shoulder and his wide green eyes flash and sparkle making Tony weak in the knees. Tony can't help but laugh too, and he manages to catch up to Loki right as Loki rounds the corner to the ice cream shop, tackles him into the brick wall, and they're both laughing and trying not to fall, cheeks flushed. Tony looks into those beautiful eyes as they sparkle and he can't help it.

He kisses him.

Loki tastes like green apples and anise and something a little dark that Tony can't place, his mouth soft and warm. It's a soft kiss, because Tony doesn't want to hurt him or scare him off and this doesn't feel like something that's going to be over tomorrow or if he blinks wrong anymore and that's wonderful. And Loki's responding, wrapping his arms around Tony's neck and drawing him in and Tony thinks he might drown, right here and now, and that's pretty much as good as (if not better than) what he's discovered comes with art.

Tony pulls away, because he needs to breathe (Loki probably does too) and Loki gives him this ravishing grin before kissing him again, quick and soft before pulling away.

"Um," Tony says because he is always eloquent.

Loki just arches an eyebrow at him.

"Want some ice cream?"

Loki laughs.