My Madness, My Saving Sanity
Chapter Sixteen: Something Fishy...
By: Nightelfcrawler
Author's note: While this is G1 based, I've made Starscream a blend of his G1 and Armada personalities just because I find the dichotomy of it fascinating. It takes place in no particular timeline, following no particular events. Also, please review politely. If you haven't something nice to say, keep it to yourself please. Also, I despise nitpicking, please don't make comments about grammar or single spelling mistakes. Enjoy the story, don't be picky.
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Though Thundercracker and Skyfire were not injured physically, Ratchet had not seen fit to release them from the med-bay until they had requested to leave. Even then, he felt guilt as he watched the two slip out the doors. Mental well-being was not his specialty, and he had no idea how to treat post-traumatic stress. He had seen it more than once with the war, families torn apart, partners lost, and he'd felt just as useless then. Optimus tended to be the best person to help in those situations, however for the Seekers who harbored a fiery rage towards both himself and Optimus, he wasn't sure who would be able to help them. Skyfire had promised he'd work on it, but he too was of the science genre and not mental health.
Nonetheless, it seemed everyone was on their best behavior.
Some had tried speaking to the two, and been met with hostility. Jazz had made the attempt, as had Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. Skywarp, who had been rather friendly and joined in the conspiracy of the twins, was not moved by their attempts, and let loose some rather raw insults. It was very clear after the Seeker told them what they could do with themselves that the two of them held a very strong grudge against all the Autobots for their commander's death. The only reason they hadn't left had been at Skyfire's urging. He had pointed out that there was no place for them to go on their own, and with the Decepticons on the hunt for them they would be safer here, despite how they felt. Though he was fairly sure he hadn't convinced them, it became obvious the reason they didn't want to leave was because they felt they would leave something of their fallen comrade behind if they did. So for the time being they remained, though were less sociable then they had been before, not that they had been the cheery types.
Despite constant apologies and assurances that what had happened was not the intent, it didn't seem to do much good.
Not that anyone could blame them. It wasn't as if most of the Autobots were fond of Starscream, and behind closed doors some of them were secretly glad he was gone, but all of them realized the circumstances had not been what they should have been. It hadn't been Megatron who had truly killed him…. It had been their inactions, or paranoia that had led to the Seeker's death.
Therefore no one gave them grief. Nonetheless, they couldn't simply sit around the base moping. They were asked to return to duty, and accepted grudgingly.
It didn't mean the transition was smooth, however.
"I appreciate your willingness to remain here and co-operate with us." Optimus murmured, regarding the two fliers as they stood in identical poses across from his desk. Both of them wore blank expression, stood at attention and seemed the perfect soldiers… however from what he'd been hearing from his men, these facades extended only so far as his door. "I want you both to know how deeply I regret what happened. I felt Starscream was becoming a valued member of our team, and his expertise and advise invaluable. You have my assurances he will be remembered with honor, having worked to better this universe while here with us." Neither of them replied, but the sharp glares in their optics told him that he was trying their patience. They didn't want what they felt to be empty apologies. He knew their anger would be smoldering for a very long time, and unfortunately there was little that could be done to quench that fire. The Autobots had made a serious mistake. On the other hand, Optimus couldn't say he would have done anything differently if given a second chance. After all, the threat of Starscream betraying them had been far more real than having him join their side. Until he'd proved his loyalty, Optimus hadn't been ready to risk his men's lives on the former Decepticon Air Commander's treacherous past.
Still, the guilt of a death weighed heavily on his conscience. He did what he could therefore to make the remaining two Seekers feel more at ease.
When asked if they wanted a memorial of some kind, a remembrance, both of them had balked at the idea. Growing up in Decepticon ranks where such nostalgia and sentimentalism was frowned upon, Optimus hadn't been able to blame them. It was likely that the two Seekers were the only of the Air Commander's old faction who would miss him, and while Starscream had actually managed to make a few friends while with the Autobots, most weren't sentimental enough to want to remember him as a hero of any sorts.
Therefore, Starscream's wing sword had remained in Ratchet's med bay until further time when they decided what to do for him. Until then, it was apparently business as usual.
"All right, listen up. We're doing some restructuring." Ironhide said pacing before the gathered Autobots. "I know you're not happy about it, but we gotta keep moving. Skyfire, you're taking charge of the aerial troops." Skyfire sighed a bit but nodded. Everyone had expected this, as the Seekers couldn't be trusted with their emotions just yet. Skyfire was the reliable one, and the most appropriate replacement. "From our reports, Megatron is laying low for a while after the last attack, rumors are he's more damaged than he let on." There was some smirks from the gathered mechs, satisfaction that Starscream had at least left quite an impression. "So let's try and get a heads up on any activity that might give us an idea of what they're planning next. We know space bridges are of an interest to them, so let's see if they're building any."
"It wouldn't work." All optics shifted to stare at Thundercracker, surprised at the sudden declaration from the normally quiet Seeker.
"What?" Ironhide blinked in puzzlement. "What wouldn't work?"
"Any space bridge they try making."
"Why not?" Perceptor asked, curious. "They have competent scientists among them. From what Starscream told me, they might already have started constructing one."
"It won't work, because they don't have any reliable source of energy to power it. Their methods are not up to standards, mostly because they lack a source of refined energy. It requires approximately ten megatons of refined energy to power even one jump." He snorted irritably, folding his arms in front of his chassis smugly.
"Uh…" Skywarp said uncertainly, as silence hung in the room. "…TC?"
"What?" Crimson optics glared irritably at him.
"That's not funny." The black mech was not smiling, and looked almost wounded.
"What isn't?" Thundercracker lifted an optic ridge in question.
Skywarp glanced at Skyfire, who looked mildly puzzled, and shrugged to the Seeker. "I didn't realize you had an interest in space bridge technology, TC."
Thundercracker blinked suddenly, his hands dropping. "What? I don't know a thing about space bridge technology, what are you talking about."
"Ok… now I KNOW something's wrong with him." Skywarp insisted, stalking up to his wing mate and rapping him sharply on the head. "Did you just FORGET what you just told us?"
"What?"
"About the energy required to power a space bridge."
"I thought that was common knowledge."
"Yeah right… sure you did." Skywarp sulked darkly, optics averting. "Stop trying to replace him… it's not funny." And with that, he stalked off darkly down the hallway, leaving Thundercracker to stare at his retreating wingman with baffled annoyance.
"What did I say?"
"I'm not sure, exactly." Skyfire said quietly, staring curiously at his friend. "However… for a moment there, you did sound awfully like Starscream."
"I've just been around him too long." Thundercracker muttered, rubbing his head with a sigh. "And I've had this insufferable headache since I woke out of recharge."
"Well, maybe you should see Ratchet about it."
"No, I'm fine. Let's just go patrol. Skywarp can sulk his turbines for a while."
The two leapt into the air, engines blasting their way into the sky.
- - - - - -
The next day, Skywarp began to suspect there was something wrong with Thundercracker.
It started small, insignificant, as things often did. Mostly everyone was trying to remain positive after the devastating blow of Starscream's death. Several mechs were studiously avoiding the Seekers, and avoiding Skyfire as well, not willing to try and talk cheerfully when they were all clearly grieving. In a way, each of them dealt with it their grief differently. Skywarp was uncharacteristically quiet and mellow, but fought twice as hard during practice runs as if taking out his anger as a way to vent. Skyfire had remained detached and quiet rarely smiling at anyone, a drastic contrast from the normally friendly mech.
And then there was Thundercracker.
Skywarp had not been kidding when he'd said the interest in science didn't become the blue seeker. Everyone else was starting to notice it too. It started with small things. He'd made a comment in passing Perceptor as he'd overheard him discussing the space bridge power crisis with Wheeljack. It'd been one of those offhand comments that just didn't sound right coming out of his mouth. He'd completely ignored the stares and walked off not thinking a thing about it.
That afternoon, he'd YELLED at Skywarp for pulling a stupid stunt in combat training.
Thundercracker almost NEVER yelled at Skywarp.
That night, he'd REFUSED high-grade, and buried himself reading a data pad manual.
Thundercracker NEVER refused high-grade.
The next morning, the entire base KNEW something was wrong with Thundercracker.
"Ratchet…?" Skywarp's voice startled the entire group gathered in the rec room. Not because it was unusual for the ex-con to come looking for the medic, but because his voice sounded small, uncertain, and scared. All optics turned to see the black and violet Seeker hovering near the entrance, his crimson optics dull, wringing his hands uncomfortably as he did when he was uncertain about something.
"What is it, Skywarp?" Ratchet asked as he set his energon cube down. "Repairs bothering you again?"
"No... it's not me…" He said quietly. "…it's Thundercracker." It was then that Ratchet noticed the obvious dent in one of Skywarp's wings, something that hadn't been there before. Skywarp glanced back to the medic, shuffling his feet. "He's acting weird…"
"He do that?"
"He didn't mean to. He didn't know it was me… he was throwing things… trashing his room. He wouldn't even acknowledge me… even through our link."
"Now that definitely is odd." Ratchet said frowning. "Ironhide, mind giving me a hand? Might need you if he's unstable."
"Right."
When they reached Thundercracker's quarters, it was quite clear that Skywarp had, for once, been understating the damage. The entire room was trashed. Low-grade was splattered on the walls, high-grade on the floor, and the furniture was uprooted everywhere, dented and twisted. It looked as if Thundercracker had actually tried to tear a hole in the wall as well. Currently, he was laying sprawled on the floor face down, unmoving. He didn't appear damaged, but he was filthy with the junk he'd tossed about. "Primus, TC…" Skywarp sighed, kneeling down at his wing mate's side and rolling him over. His optics were off-line. "What the frag's going on…"
Ratchet flinched at the concern in the Seeker's voice. It wasn't just concern, it was fear… fear that he might lose his other companion, left alone…possibly the last of his kind. It was the fear of losing family, a brother… and after they had just lost Starscream, Ratchet wasn't sure that Skywarp could mentally handle loosing another so soon. He might completely lose whatever sanity existed inside his small brain. After all, it seemed Thundercracker was taking their leader's death worse than the medic had originally thought, the last thing he wanted was a neurotic teleporter freaking out too. "It's all right. Help me take him to the med bay and we'll pinpoint the problem. It might just be a loose connection." Skywarp didn't put up a fuss as he grabbed his wing mate's shoulders with Ironhide taking his feet. Together they moved Thundercracker carefully down the hallway. About halfway, Thundercracker's optics flickered back on, and he let out a low groan. "Easy there… don't move. We're getting you to the med bay." Ratchet said quietly, though readied a sedative just in case.
"What…the slag…?" Thundercracker muttered, appearing disoriented. "Warp? What happened?"
"You attacked me, frag-head." Skywarp said sharply, though to those who'd gotten to know him they knew he was incredibly relieved the way his wings slumped at his shoulders. "What were you doing? Were you on high-grade?"
"…ugh…" Thundercracker groaned again. "Fraggin' head is killin' me."
"You probably jolted a circuit loose." Skywarp shot a glance at the medic as if asking if he was close.
"Could be." Ratchet agreed, though he was a bit concerned. He had done repairs on the two, and he'd not thought their processors had been affected in the least. But then, it could have been something jarred loose that he hadn't spotted.
But then again…
Ratchet studied the prone mech with a frown, as Skywarp watched worriedly from the side. "All right, lay still then, let me see if there's anything wrong."
"There better be." Skywarp muttered. "He just doesn't fly off the hinge like this… that was Starscream's forte."
Ratchet made a decision not to respond… when it came to their fallen commander, it was best not to barge into their conversations. Instead, he powered up his scanners and started to do a thorough analysis of Thundercracker's processor. "Initial scans show no damage…" He murmured aloud, as to try and ease Skywarps' fears. "No connections loose, everything seems to be functioning… there IS a small buildup of energy in the CPU, but it's nothing that I would normally worry about…"
"What could have caused it?"
"Imbalances like these can be caused due to a number of reasons, stress being one." Ratchet said with a sigh. "And Primus knows you two have been through enough of that lately."
"No kidding."
"Just to be safe, I'm going to run a full-systems check. It could be coming from somewhere else and the headache might just be a symptom." He pushed a few buttons on his computer and then turned back to the Seeker and began to run his scan. He studied the read-outs with the usual interest… but then something caught his attention. "Hello…what have we here?"
"What?!" Skywarp jumped in a clear panic. "What is it? Is he damaged? Is he going to offline!?"
"Calm down." Ratchet said with a sigh to the overly worried Seeker. "He's not in danger of going into stasis-lock anytime soon." He leaned in closer to stare at the scan results carefully. "However… I do have a question."
"What?"
Ratchet glanced over to the nervous Skywarp. "When I was repairing Starscream the first time he came in here…" Skywarp winced, but the medic continued. "…I noticed an anomaly with his spark. It did not seem to be bothering him, and for all I know he'd been created with it. I didn't have time to analyze the findings, though now I must admit I'm curious to know more. However…." He turned to face Skywarp. "I would like to see yours for comparison."
"What?! Why?" Skywarp skittishly backed up, hands immediately going to his cockpit to protectively cover it.
"Oh Primus, kid…" Ratchet sighed. "I'm not going to do anything to you. I just want to have a look with my own optics to compare it to what I have here."
"You're not going to do anything to it?"
"No. You can stand right there. I won't touch you."
Grudgingly, though still with a paranoid expression Skywarp approached the side of the table, where Thundercracker just gave him a muted stare. "If he'd wanted to do anything to us, he'd have done it already. We've been in here more than half the base."
"Yeah well… it's still my spark."
"Schizo."
"Hey!"
"Will you two stop bickering. Now open your chassis for me to take a look. It won't take more than a second, I just wish to verify something." Skywarp hesitantly glanced down at his cockpit, then muttered something too low for Ratchet to grasp, though he figured he probably could understand the meaning just the same. The golden glass cockpit moved to the side, making way for the medic to stare directly at the spark chamber protected beneath the metal armor. Skywarp glared to the side, refusing to look at the medic directly, clearly feeling highly embarrassed at baring his spark. Ratchet however was no-nonsense. He leaned forward and studied the spark chamber. His optics slid into scan mode so he could see through the protective shielding and directly into the spark itself. After a moment, he pulled back nodding. "I'm finished."
"Good…" Skywarp said with a clear sigh, quickly replacing the plates covering his spark and slamming his cockpit back into place quicker than a flash. "What did you find out?" He asked, a bit of worry mingling with curiosity. "Do I have a weird spark?"
"No." Ratchet said with an amused smirk. "Your spark is completely normal."
"Gee… that's weird in and of itself." Thundercracker muttered. "Imagine that, Skywarp's the 'normal' one."
"Hah, hah… so what's this mean?" Skywarp asked dryly, not fully into the joke fest, more concerned for his wing mate.
"Well…" Ratchet said slowly, turning back to Thundercracker and gesturing for him to retract his cockpit. "Let's take a look.. if my scans are right… we might have our answer as to why you're having headaches, and it could explain the mood shifts."
Thundercracker grudgingly did the same Skywarp had, retracting his armor plating. This time, Ratchet reached forward and carefully entered a code into the base of the spark chamber that connected it's protective shell to the energon pumps. The small plates scraped and moved aside, causing the blue seeker to flinch in pain for a second before his spark was revealed to the air, pulsing rapidly in bright blue flickers of light.
Right beside it, was a second spark… bright white, with a double helix ring surrounding it.