My Madness, My Saving Sanity

Chapter Eighteen: Immortal / Immortally Irritating

By: Nightelfcrawler

Author's note: While this is G1 based, I've made Starscream a blend of his G1 and Armada personalities just because I find the dichotomy of it fascinating. It takes place in no particular timeline, following no particular events. Also, please review politely. If you haven't something nice to say, keep it to yourself please. Also, I despise nitpicking, please don't make comments about grammar or single spelling mistakes. Enjoy the story, don't be picky.

- - - - - -

The day of the transfer, everyone wanted to watch. No more did idea of Starscream being a pain in the aft seem to drive their opinions, but rather the knowledge his spark was different, and had housed itself in Thundercracker provided some freak-show style entertainment for certain mechs, and scientific exploration for others.

The rest just wanted to be there for the show.

Ratchet of course had kindly ushered them all out with solid thunks to the head, courtesy his trusty wrench.

Therefore, the only invited attendees were the ones that Ratchet felt could behave themselves, namely himself and Thundercracker, who incidentally was out cold. He had firmly told Skyfire and Skywarp that their presence wasn't necessary in such a delicate procedure, and even gone so far as to pointing out he wasn't even permitting Optimus to be there. When he was finished, they were welcome to come 'talk' to the spark to their hearts content, but until then he needed peace and quiet to concentrate on his job.

Thundercracker had pretty much taken up living in the med bay by now. He'd been in stasis for almost a week straight now, more out of necessity than anything. The headaches had been near constant, and it came to a point where any fuel he consumed was being drained directly into the hungry spark, and therefore little was leftover to run his own body. Ratchet had him hooked up to a feed, and was quickly going through supplies far quicker than he'd expected. Fortunately, he'd figured out a way to lower the supply without damaging the Seeker's systems. Starscream's spark hadn't been happy, but bypassing the fuel directly into the critical systems at least kept it from stealing everything.

Now came the hard part.

The spark stasis chamber was unique in itself. The problem with keeping sparks in temporary housing devices was they tended to become agitated the longer they were kept in one place, without a body to stretch out in. This further boosted Ratchet's belief that there was SOME kind of consciousness there in spark form, even if the mech didn't remember it upon waking. Talking to the sparks usually calmed them, and keeping them prisoner for long-term often led to them trying to overload the containment chamber in order to escape, which ultimately would lead to their death without a fuel source.

So that's why he was so proud of his little invention.

It was ingenious really. Starscream probably would have been impressed; Perceptor, Wheeljack and Skyfire certainly had been. Ratchet smiled as he studied the containment chamber with satisfaction. On Cybertron they had to synthesize everything. On this planet, there were natural elements he could tap into that worked better than any synthetic element. It turned out that certain crystals had the properties to hold stored energy. As long as he negatively charged the surrounding area, the spark would stay inside the crystal and couldn't reach the energy charging the holding device. He could feed it energy indefinitely, and it wouldn't go anywhere.

Getting it INTO the chamber was another matter entirely.

He studied Thundercracker as the Seeker lay dormant on his operating table. He'd already bared the flier's spark to the air, both his and Starscreams' pulsed in similar cadence, showing that the time spent together had a distinct impact on the sparks. They had developed a symbiotic relationship in a way, and it was this that concerned Ratchet the most. Spending too much time this close to another spark might mean separating them could have severe impact on the both of them. He had seen it happen before, sparks that pined for the loss of another that they had been physically in close proximity to for an extended period of time. Typically it was with sparklings who then usually gave up and extinguished when deprived of it's caretaker's energy. With an adult spark, he hoped there wouldn't be such a dependency. A parasitic relationship was still dangerous, even so. Therefore, he was going to take his time doing this.

He slid his stool next to the sleeping Seeker and studied the sparks. Thundercracker's was pulsing slow and steady, a sure sign of being deep in recharge. Starscream's spark was fluttering in a rapid flickering pattern, as if angry at being depraved of energy. Ratchet HAD been hoping that he'd calm down a little with less energy fueling him, but it seemed stubbornness outlived fuel. He couldn't afford to wait too long. "Right then… time to give you a new home." He muttered, glancing over to the spark chamber he'd constructed, waiting for it's new host. Ratchet reached for the cables he needed. "Now… don't make this difficult." He warned the spark. He didn't care if his words were understood, being a medic gave him the authority to demand the spark to behave. He lowered the first cable down, hooking it to the bottom of Thundercracker's spark chamber and slowly giving it a temporary weld. It was essential he didn't remove the wrong spark, and calibrating the charge to the Seeker's natural energy balance was the best way to separate the two energies. Once he'd finished welding the tiny wire on, he did the same to the opposite side. Once he'd finished there, he took a pair of tiny tweezers and pulled out a piece of lead filed into a paper thin sheet and carefully lowered it down into the center of the spark chamber, gently maneuvering it between the two separate sparks. The lead effectively separated the energies from each other, and locked them both on opposing sides of the chamber. So far, so good. Things were going as planned, a textbook case. He was ready to try removing the spark. Ratchet turned and flipped the generator on, it's small whirring motor grinding a bit before starting a low hum as it spun faster. He grabbed the cables, and connected the negative end to the top of the crystal, then took the positive end and held it gently over the spark chamber. "Ok now.. let's see what you do…" Grasping the rubber wrapped handle, he slowly lowered the metal tip into the center of the spark's glowing focus. Some sparks resisted this process… but for the most part, energy was energy and was going to go the direction it naturally was drawn to.

Of course, Starscream HAD to be different.

Ratchet let a very un-medic like curse escape his vocalizer as the prod had the opposite effect it should have. Instead of being drawn through the charged stream, the spark pulled away, pressing against the far end of the spark chamber up against the lead wall. "Primus…" Ratchet growled. "You just HAVE to be difficult don't you. Fine, we'll do this the old fashioned way." He flipped the generator off with another low curse and carefully removed the welded wires, leaving the lead plate in place. Then, he grabbed another tool that resembled a mesh between an eyelash curler humans used, and an ice cream scooper. "Here little spark…." He grinned in almost a gleeful voice, slowly reaching down opening the device wide. "In we go." The spark pulsed again in protest, but there was nowhere for it to run. Ratchet scooped it up inside the holding tool, clamping the spark tightly contained inside the portable extractor, and carefully lifted it out of the chamber. Despite his firm grip, the little tool quivered in his hand as the spark struggled inside the metal holding chamber. "Uh huh." Ratchet said, staring at the brightly glowing light spilling out through the narrow cracks. "Not happy." He quickly moved to the new housing chamber, not wanting to keep the spark exposed without energy too long, the tool was already turning an unhealthy shade of burnt ember as it held the high energy of the spark. Sticking a prod into the narrow crack, he flipped the generator back on. This time, Starscream had nowhere to go, and was pulled directly into the crystal despite his best resistance. The moment the energy was inside the crystal, Ratchet ignited the shield. The containment field crackled up into place just in time to trap the spark within, as it desperately tried to escape. Ratchet smirked. "No, you're not going anywhere anytime soon. Which is just as good, since you were causing far too much trouble for your wing mate." Ratchet did a quick diagnostic on the new containment device, and once he was satisfied everything was correctly calibrated he turned his back on it to attend his other patient. Thundercracker was stable, in the same condition he had been before. This was promising. Ratchet worked to close up his spark chamber, removing the lead slab, and replacing the shielding. He then undid the work he'd done to re-route his energy supply and let his normal processes resume, monitoring the Seeker closely. There was no immediate change, so he relaxed and resigned himself to study Starscream's spark in more detail now that he had the chance.

It was interesting, but far too complex for him to make much sense of it. Spark physiology was not his specialty. It really wasn't much of a field to study, to be honest. Most sparks were alike in properties, all conductive and anti-conductive depending on the property of the metal used around them. This is why perhaps Starscream's spark had survived, though Ratchet admitted it was a far stretch of thought. To think that the spark had conducted itself at the right moment through Megatron's fist as he had crushed Starscream's spark chamber, then jumped into his wing-sword's circuits until he'd somehow managed to leap from mech to mech's touch to finally house in Thundercracker… well it was quite a reach. None of them had seen anything transfer, but then it didn't have to be showy. There were a few cases in Teletran 1 to indicate that it was possible in the right situation, but most of these cases was direct mech to mech transfer, not jumping around until it found a home. Thundercracker hadn't touched the wing-sword, nor been near Starscream when he'd died, therefore the spark had to have jumped around before lodging in the Seeker's own chamber. Ratchet shook his head. It was definitely a new field of development, given what Starscream had managed to do.

No, this spark was different in an entirely different manner. Ratchet leaned back, staring at the glowing spark as it flittered about the chamber holding it in place. Not only had it survived when other sparks would have been extinguished, but he recalled how Starscream had jump-started Skywarp's dying spark, how the three Seekers were strangely linked in a telepathic and empathic manner. Somehow, Ratchet thought, it all related to this one spark. Starscream tied them all irrevocably together. Their wing commander's spark was unique, it's property was enough of an identifying factor to somehow affect the other two. Somehow, he linked everything together. The fact he could support them, bind them and unify them… it all had to do with HIS spark…

A low groan behind him drew Ratchet out of his thoughts. He turned his head in time to see Thundercracker's optics flicker on. The fact the Seeker was up so quickly was promising. "Ah, good you're awake." He rolled his stool over to the patient's bedside, and peered down at the waking Seeker. "How are you feeling?"

"….like… slag." Thundercracker groaned, optics appearing to have issues focusing on the medic's face. "…like I haven't recharged in weeks…."

"Well… strictly speaking I suppose you haven't." Ratchet mused. "You've been in stasis, but not truly recharging thanks to your friend."

"How is he…? Is he out…?" Thundercracker's hand twitched, obviously trying to reach for his spark chamber as if touching it might reassure him.

"Don't worry, he's safely in his own home now." Ratchet assured him, rolling aside on his chair to allow Thundercracker a view of the glowing spark hovering in the crystal chamber on his desk. "He's not going anywhere."

Thundercracker sighed, his optics off-lining as a small smile played over his facial plates. "Thank Primus. It's about time he got his own room."

Ratchet chuckled. "Skywarp's jokes are rubbing off on you I see."

"Living with someone for a millennia does that to you." He muttered with a long-suffering sigh. "But in truth, it's a relief to have him out of my spark chamber. I feel better already."

"Your energy levels are rising nicely." Ratchet confirmed. "Without a power-hungry spark to feed, you've got it all. Soon with some fluids in you you'll be back on your feet and ready for duty."

"And him?"

Ratchet glanced at the spark lazily drifting within his containment chamber. "He'll be fine for now. If it gets to be a problem, I can build a temporary body for him. I don't think I'll have to do that though, this seems to be working well enough."

"Temporary body… I don't want to know what that means."

Ratchet smirked. "Let's just say, he'd never live it down. It's meant to be functional, not fashionable."

"Uh huh."

"For now, lay there and get some rest and fuel. When I'm satisfied you've no side effects then we'll see about letting you leave. For now, enjoy some peace and quiet. I'd like to say that I'm not allowing visitors, but somehow I don't think any jamming signals I put in here would stop your wing mate from bothering you…"

"Yup."

"…so I'll just wish you good luck, and threaten to send him on arctic patrol again if he bothers you too much."

Thundercracker snorted. "You know something doc?"

"Hm?"

"You're not half bad… for an Autobot."

"Thank you… I think."

- - - - -

Peace and quiet was something that Thundercracker was thoroughly enjoying. Skyfire checked in once to make sure he was recovering, and promised to give him space if he wished it.

Skywarp was another matter entirely.

First off, there wasn't an easy way to IGNORE the constant pinging inquiries and shared thoughts. He could block them if he tried, but not while trying to rest. Secondly, the Autobots didn't have the technology to KEEP him out of the med bay when he wanted in. Sure, they'd figure out how to send a scrambling signal in the brig, but they didn't have the actual baffle set up so that he couldn't teleport. Therefore, it wasn't long before he got his first visitation.

"TC!" Skywarp materialized in a swirl of violet light, stepping right out of nothing to end up standing next to the table where Thundercracker was currently in recharge. Given this situation, he was quickly roused out of recharge, and not in too good a mood.

Thundercracker onlined his optics to glare grumpily at his wing mate. "What…" He said flatly. "…could possibly be so important that you WAKE me up in the middle of a fraggin' recharge cycle."

"I missed you."

Oddly enough, that fizzled out any anger he had towards the irritating teleporter. There was just something about those wide crimson optics so innocently pleading that made him just give in. "Fine…" He sighed, pushing himself up into a half-sitting position on the bench. He felt sore and stiff, joints sticking and not reacting as he'd like. However, given that he'd been laying in stasis for several weeks, he imagined it was normal. He settled into a half-comfortable position, giving Skywarp enough room to at least sit down on the edge of the berth nearby. "All right, well you've got me up… What's on your mind."

"Nothing. Just wondering how you were doing. Ratchet's been a grump and hasn't let us come in and see you both yet."

"Not much to see, really." Thundercracker muttered, stifling the urge to cycle his vents in a lazy yawn. "I've been sleeping off a massive hangover, and Screamer's a glowing crystal at the moment."

Skywarp leaned closer, jumping off the berth to approach the holding device where their commander was housed. "It looks so… weird…. Seeing him like this, you know?" He said quietly, optics reflecting a little light against the crystal, making it appear slightly pink in color. "He's so… quiet."

"Cherish it while it lasts." Thundercracker snorted.

"How long until Ratchet makes his new body?"

"He said it won't take him as long as last time, given he's got all the schematics on file."

"Still, it'll be a while won't it?"

"Yeah… probably."

Skywarp sat down on Ratchet's rolling stool and poked the crystal's facet, as if trying to provoke a response from the spark within. "You think …." He said slowly in a soft quiet voice. "… you think the reason I'm alive and that we're….you know, connected… is because of him? Because he's different?"

Thundercracker sighed and slowly moved off the berth, wincing as his joints groaned at the pressure of supporting his weight, but didn't give out as he made his way gingerly towards his wing mate. "Maybe. Don't get me wrong, just because I housed his karma for a while doesn't mean any of his smarts rubbed off on me, so I'm not qualified to judge anything…." He hesitated staring down at the spark with a deep thoughtful expression. "But from just what we've seen, he's helped save our lives, kept us alive, and somehow managed to survive without his own body. I think that's pretty significant. I mean… I felt it when he 'died'…. Didn't you?"

"Yeah." Skywarp said quietly, all jovial attitude gone into quiet reflection. "It felt like someone was ripping my spark out. But he didn't DIE…. So… I wonder what would happen if he had? Would we have died too? I mean…" his voice shook a bit. "It FELT like we were dying. I mean, I lost consciousness praying to Primus to help me, cause I thought that was it, it was over… It was like…" his voice began to shake. "…like being torn in two."

"Yeah." Thundercracker said softly, resting a hand on his wing mate's shoulder to support him. "I felt it too… it did feel like the end-all." He sighed. "But we didn't die… and neither did he. Makes you wonder, doesn't it."

"Yeah…" Skywarp said softly, one finger tracing the side of the glass keeping the contraption away from idle fingers such as his. "It sure does. I mean… if he lived through that… what does that mean for us? He saved my life once… does that mean that we can't 'die' as long as we're… you know, connected?"

"Hey, don't ask me. I'm not the scientist here. I'd ask Skyfire to do some theories if you're really interested. As long as I'm not dead, I'm happy. I don't have to know the how's and why's of it."

"Yeah, I guess." Skywarp said frowning. "I can't even begin to figure it out but it does make me wonder what'll happen to us with, or without him. I mean…" He scowled. "Frag it I hate to admit it, but I'm WORRIED about him. It didn't used to be this bad. We were wing mates, but that was it… we looked out for each other's backs but if one bit the dust, we'd shake it off and move on… but now…" he lifted his crimson optics upwards to meet Thundercracker's even gaze. "Slag it, TC… I'm worried sick about him. It's like… like…."

"Like losing a brother."

Skywarp made a face. "That really doesn't explain it quite the way I meant."

Thundercracker lifted an optic ridge.

"Oh HELL no. Don't GO there!" Skywarp sputtered, not having to hesitate long to pick up what his wing mate was thinking. "And I thought Screamer was twisted."

"Hey, I didn't say nothin'."

"You didn't have to!"

Thundercracker grinned, amused at the fact he'd been able to rile up 'Warp. Usually it was the other way around, with the purple seeker getting on his and Starscream's nerves. "Don't worry… he's not so easy to get rid of, as we've discovered. More likely than not he'll be back to rubbing in how he's outsmarted Megatron once more as soon as he's got a body."

"I wonder if he can sense us like this…" Skywarp mused, leaning in closer so that his optics nearly touched the glass. "I mean, it's our sparks that are linked, so you think he can feel or tell we're nearby?"

"Who knows… All I know is that I feel a hell of a lot better with him there and not inside me."

"I'm not touching that sentence with a ten foot pole."

Thundercracker smacked his fist into the side of Skywarp's head. "Sicko."

"Glad to be of service."