After the success of her plan Sayuri went back to research but now her status seemed to have increased and people often greeted her cheerily when they saw her. All the Kages had personally thanked her and Tsunade-sama had even come by the tent to praise her. She cringed when she thought of the night the Kazekage had come to thank her. He'd had to help her unzip her jacket, and he'd had to put her to bed, like she was a child. As if that wasn't bad enough she then thought she vaguely remembered having told him he smelled nice. God, she was a moronic drunk.

Even though she'd behaved like an idiot he had kept coming by and was now in the habit of stopping by almost every day to check on her research. Since she really couldn't go by the Kazekage's tent without a specific reason she was glad he came by and often stayed for a while to talk after she'd reported. Slowly Sayuri thought she was getting to know him, the real him under all the armour he wore. She understood his need for it and grieved for the boy who had never gotten to be a boy. When he'd told her the story behind the markings on his forehead she had cried for him - but not until he had left. She knew him well enough to know he would think she pitied him. On the contrary her respect and admiration for him only grew the more she found out about him.

But it was taking time to get to know him, sometimes when she asked something he just closed up. Still, some things kept her going. Like the first time she'd heard him laugh, a deep, slightly rusty chuckle. She could barely remember what it had set it off; it had been some silly story about a puppy she had had as a little girl. But the memory of hearing his laugh and seeing his eyes shine with mirth would always stay with her.

All in all he had been coming almost every day for the two weeks after the success of the raid. Since she was such a clueless person when it came to anything that wasn't written in a book it wasn't until yesterday she had realized she was in love with Gaara. She, Koizumi Sayuri, research nin from Konoha was in love with one of the most formidable ninjas in the entire world and the Commander of the Allied Forces. It was pretty pathetic, he was the Kazekage and she had been terribly close to end up a genin for the rest of her life. When she'd realized, after he had just left and she was sitting watching the little sandcastle with a moronic smile on her face, she had laid her head on her desk and laughed til she cried. After that she'd collected herself and tried to argue herself out of love with him. So far it had been to no avail.

She was lying in her bed at pre-dawn when the signal sounded. An attack was imminent and all able ninjas were called to the field. That meant medical duty for her, handling smaller injuries and helping where she could. Hurriedly she put her clothes on and slipped out in the early morning mist. It was cold and with her breath hovering in clouds around her she hurried towards the medical tents. She could already see it would be bad, the watch must have been surprised.

Sayuri had only just made it inside the tent before Haruno Sakura had delegated her to heal smaller injuries and dress wounds in the corner set up for that purpose. She didn't feel the hours slip by as she worked and in the back of her head she was grateful she had no time to worry about Gaara, she focused only on the task in front of her. Then suddenly Sakura laid a hand on her shoulder and startled Sayuri out of her exhausted, robotic dressing of a leg wound.

"Sayuri, I didn't realize you were still here, your shift should've ended hours ago. I guess you weren't relieved since you're not on the team, I'm sorry." Tired to the bone she only shook her head,

"I'm glad to help." She noted the way the sun slanted in and realized it was late evening, she'd been working non-stop all day. "Any news?" Sayuri asked as she stood up to leave. At this point of exhaustion she was of no use anyway.

"The clones keep coming, we're holding them back but not winning any land. Choji just came in but it seems to look worse than it is. He said they just took the Kazekage to his tent but I don't know-"

"What?" Sayuri felt all tiredness evaporate and her senses sharpened almost painfully, every detail was brought into focus from the rustling of the tent fabric to the little specks of dust dancing in the sunlight. "Ga-The Kazekage was hurt?"

Sakura looked surprised at Sayuri's sudden alertness but answered, "I don't know how or if it's bad, Shizune just went-" was as far as she got before Sayuri had rushed out. Disregarding the fact that she was tired enough to feel as if moving through water she ran through the camp. She saw a small clump of people outside the opening and recognized Temari on guard duty and approached her.

"How is he?

"He'll be fine," she said and pulled open the tentflap, letting Sayuri pass. She hurried past into the warm tent. The sun had had been warming the air inside all day and it was stifling. Sayuri went into the bedroom and realized quite a few people crammed into the small space had helped the heat build. Shizune and Tsunade were talking in one corner, Kakashi, Kankuro and two sand ninjas stood along the walls. On the bed was Gaara, even paler than usual and with his arm bandaged. She didn't dare approach him and instead joined Kakashi.

"How is he?"

"Chakra exhaustion. He'll be fine, Tsunade-sama says. He used up too much chakra and the ultimate defence failed for an instant so his arm got hit." Her shoulders slumped in relief at having seen with her own eyes and having it confirmed that Gaara would be fine.

"I'm glad. It was bad out there today." Kakashi nodded and she thought she saw a grimmer set in his jaw than usual. The experienced ninja undoubtedly had had a few bad ones in his life and she could tell from his face this was going down in his memories as one of them.

"It was. I'm heading back out. Just wanted to see Gaara back. He saved a lot of lives today." She smiled at him for being so considerate.

"I'm sure you did too, Hatake Kakashi." He nodded his goodbye and left. To save some more lives, no doubt, she thought and wished harder than ever before that she could fight. Then she could be there, she could help. Maybe Gaara wouldn't have to lie there if she had been able to defend herself at the very least. She sunk down with her back leaning on a crate and didn't notice she almost instantly drifted off to sleep.

POV

When Gaara woke up it was dark outside. With a start he sat up. His arm throbbed and let out a hiss of pain. He felt weak and tired as if he had the flu and he recognized the signs of chakra exhaustion. Stupid. He'd been stupid to overestimate his abilities. But when he'd seen the flames rushing towards the long range squad he'd acted without thinking, effectively sealing off the front line with his sand. He wondered if they had gotten someone else.

Listening, he couldn't hear the febrile action signifying a battle outside in the camp. He relaxed slightly. It was over for now. He should get up and go over the damage. Then he heard the soft breathing. Someone else was in the tent. He stiffened in preparation to fight but realized the breathing was slow, relaxed….had Temari posted a guard inside who had fallen asleep? She knew he hated to have his privacy disturbed more than necessary. He struck a match to see so he could wake the guard up and send him on his way. He held up the lit match and almost dropped it straight away. Leaning against a crate with her knees propped up and a jacket spread over her was Sayuri.

He lit the candle next to his bed and got up. Who had left her asleep sitting on the ground? He felt himself swaying and realized he must have been worse off than he'd first thought. He kneeled in front of her to wake her, then stopped. Could it be that she hadn't been left due to oversight but because….she wanted to? Had she worried and wanted to stay by his side?

"Sayuri", his voice sounded unfamiliar to his own ears, gentler than usual. Slowly he saw her eyelids flutter before they opened and focused on him.

POV

Sayuri thought his voice was part of her dream but something tugged at her consciousness and slowly she woke up. She felt cold and stiff and she realized it was due to her sitting, sleeping on the ground with only a flak jacket (she thought she recognized it as Kakashi's) spread over her. The tent was dark save for a candle but she could make out Gaara in front of her.

"Hi." Suddenly her brain caught up and she remembered why she was there.

"How do you feel?" She scrambled to her knees. "Does anything hurt?" Her hands seemed to travel his arms of their own accord, checking for damage.

"I'm fine." She could hear rather than see confusion in his voice. "Why are you here, Sayuri?" Her hands stopped on his shoulders. She could feel the heat of his body through the fabric of his shirt, the rise and fall of his breathing. His knee was touching hers as they kneeled opposite each other and she was suddenly intensely aware of the position of his body, how it was angled towards her. Her eyes sought his in the half-light.

"Well, I…Because I…" The atmosphere was different than before, she couldn't just shrug this off and joke about it. She had to come clear. But she couldn't find the words for it. Instead she acted on impulse and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him closer before placing her lips over his. For a moment he was completely still then his unharmed arm crept around her waist and pulled her even closer. Sayuri couldn't claim any great experience but her body seemed to be moving on its own. Her hand travelled to his neck and she shifted slightly so she was on his lap, all with a sense of urgency to get closer and closer. Then he suddenly pushed her away and turned and she could only hear his ragged breathing.

"Go!"

She reached for his hand but he pushed it away and as if it had hurt physically she clutched it to her chest. With tears already falling she stumbled out of the tent.

POV

Gaara hugged his knees to his chest, trying to fill the emptiness he felt inside. Not since he had been a young boy had he been so close to giving in, let the walls crumble. Finding her there, caring enough to sleep on the ground then kissing him like...as if she liked him.

He hadn't been able to keep himself from asking her why she was there, could no longer stand the feeling of caring so much and not knowing if she liked him at all. It had been foolish. He knew he could never let her close. He had promised himself long ago to never set himself up for hurt again. And even if he would be willing to risk it he could not. He did not deserve someone as pure and loving as Sayuri.

But that kiss had made feelings he never could have even imagined rush through him, it had broken the dam of pent up feelings and it had swept him up in a flood, filling up where there had only been emptiness before, washing away what had been. Then his defences had kicked in. Never again. Not only because of the hurt but because of what it had made him capable of before. The One-Tail might be gone but he had been all too happy to let it through before. The only way he had been able to deal had been to take it out on others. Never again would he risk hurting others, especially not Sayuri.

He had a lifetime of repenting for old sins before him. She deserved better, not the monster he had been and knew he would always live with. The monster that had nothing to do with the One-Tail, the monster that lived inside him, that was in his soul. He would protect her from anything, even from himself. He didn't realize he was crying until the tears falling on his up-drawn knees grew cold.