Simpsons vs. Harry Potter Survivor
Episode 5
Brian: A lot has happened in the past three days here in Egypt. In the Simpsons Tribe, Bart gained an ally in bartender Moe Syzlak, who replaced Milhouse in Bart and Nelson's alliance. However, Bart also has a new enemy: his sister Lisa, who was starting to like Milhouse before Bart betrayed him and voted him off. The Simpsons Tribe also won its second straight reward challenge, as they somehow beat the Hogwarts Tribe in a Quidditch Match when Bart caught Greased Up Deaf Guy. For their upset victory, the Simpsons Tribe won new fishing and culinary equipment.
In the Hogwarts Tribe, some of the castaways began to grow suspicious of not seeing Neville around very often. The biggest event at Hogwarts camp though, was Harry Potter finally confessing his love for Hermione Granger, a love that Hermione reciprocated in a passionate kiss. At the immunity challenge, the Hogwarts Tribe won a game of trivia, forcing the Simpsons Tribe into tribal council for the second time in a row. Despite Ned Flanders vowing to quit his attempts at converting fellow tribe members to Christianity, he was still voted off by a 4-2 vote, as Lisa failed to put together an alliance to vote off Bart.
Now two castaways down, can the Simpsons Tribe rebound? Where is Neville and what is he up to? Who will be the next person voted off? The next three days should be interesting…
Simpsons Tribe, Day 13
Lisa: To say that the morale at camp is down right now would be an understatement. We've won some reward challenges, which is nice, but we haven't been winning the immunity challenges that matter more. If any of us wants to win this game, we have to be on the same page, at least until the merger. Therefore, I have reluctantly decided to apologize to Bart.
(Lisa walks to the shore of the Nile where Bart is fishing. Bart turns around and notices her.)
Bart: (sighs) What now Lisa?
Lisa: Bart, I'm still angry with you about Milhouse…
Bart: (interrupts) You walked all the way to shore just to say THAT?
Lisa: (anger rising but she remains calm) You didn't let me finish. I'm still angry with you about Milhouse, but if either of us wants to win this game, we have to unite as a team and win some immunity challenges.
Bart: As much as I hate to admit this, you're right Lisa. Just consider this a temporary cease fire until the merger.
Lisa: That's exactly what I was looking for. Thanks Bart! (turns around to go back to shore)
Bart: Oh, and Lis…just remember, the key word in that statement is temporary.
(Bart and Lisa stare each other down for a few seconds before Lisa resumes her walk back to camp. She returns to see Moe chopping wood, Nelson boiling water on the fire and Homer relaxing on the hammock as always.)
Homer: You know, as little as I've done since being here, I'm surprised that I'm still in the game. I guess lying low early on turned out to be a good strategy. By the way camera guy, do you happen to have any donuts? Beer? Donut-flavored beer? You don't? D'OH!
Hogwarts Tribe, Day 13
(Harry wakes up just as the sun rises in the eastern sky. He puts on his glasses, looks to his right, and sees Hermione lying down next to him, still sound asleep. Smiling, Harry gives her a peck on the cheek.)
Harry: (whispering) Morning, beautiful.
Hermione: (wakes up, smiling up at Harry) Morning, gorgeous.
Harry: Sun is rising. Care to go for a walk?
Hermione: (yawning) I'd love to.
(Harry and Hermione leave the shelter and walk down the beach.)
Ron: Jealousy? Nah, there isn't any. I'm really happy for Harry and Hermione. Hermione and I dated for a while back at Hogwarts, but she seems to be so much happier with Harry, and Harry appears to be much more cheerful as well. Besides, I've gotten to know Luna well over the past few days, and I'm surprised at just how much we have in common.
(Ron and Luna are fishing together on the shores of the Nile River.)
Ron: Wow, I never knew you were a fan of the Chudley Cannons.
Luna: Oh yes! In fact, if my father did not forbid it, I would play Quidditch all the time.
Ron: Really? Why does your father not let you play Quidditch?
Luna: He's worried that threstrals might knock me off my broom.
Ron: Well, if you spend some time at the Burrow, we'll play some Quidditch. We can team up against Fred, George and Ginny.
Luna: I'd like that…(her fishing pole starts moving) woah Ron, I think I got a bite!
Ron: Here, I'll help ya. (Ron grabs the fishing pole to help her out. They touch hands for a brief moment as they work together, finally snatching a big fish out of the river.) Bloody hell! Well, it looks like we're going to eat good tonight.
(Ron and Luna head back to camp with their massive haul. Meanwhile, Malfoy is having a conversation with Crabbe down shore.)
Crabbe: So, when are we going to do it Malfoy?
Malfoy: In two days time, after the immunity challenge.
Day 14: Reward Challenge
Brian: (eating chocolate) I….LOVE…CHOCOLATE! I can't eat it though because then I'll get fat!
Cameraman: Uhh Brian…
Brian: Oh right, let's bring in the tribes.
(Hogwarts and Simpsons Tribes arrive at challenge.)
Brian: Okay castways, the reward for today's challenge will be a week's supply of chocolate…(looks at crate) however, I already ate half of it waiting for you guys, so now it's probably more like a three day's supply. (groans from the 12 remaining castaways) Anyway, to win what's left of the chocolate, you need to win a five-leg relay race. You will be running down the beach with a torch, passing off the torch to the next tribe member. The tribe member running the last leg of the relay needs to run all the way to the fire pit at the end of the beach and light the fire. The first team to have their fire lit wins the challenge. Hogwarts Tribe, I'm going to need two members to sit out this challenge. (Luna and Crabbe stand beside Brian.) Luna and Crabbe are sitting out for the Hogwarts Tribe. Everyone else, get into your positions and wait for my signal.
[The relay legs for each team are (in order): Bart, Homer, Moe, Lisa, Nelson for the Simpsons Tribe, and Ron, Malfoy, Neville, Hermione and Harry for the Hogwarts Tribe.]
Brian: Survivors Ready, and GO!
[Bart and Ron run the first leg and and are dead even as they hand off their torches to Homer and Malfoy. However, due to Homer's less than superior fitness levels, Malfoy builds up a healthy lead as he hands off the torch to Neville. About thirty seconds later, Homer hands it off to Moe, who manages to close the gap a little on Neville with surprising speed. Neville hands off the torch to Hermione about ten seconds before Moe hands his off to Lisa. Thanks to her longer legs, Hermione is able to build the gap back up a little bit as she hands off the torch to Harry with about a fifteen second gap before Lisa hands her's off to Nelson. Nelson makes a valiant effort to try to catch up, but it is to no avail as Harry lights up his tribe's fire before Nelson can get a chance to arrive at his fire pit. Hogwarts Tribe wins.]
Brian: Hogwarts Tribe, congratulations! The chocolate is yours!
(Hogwarts Tribe celebrates and grabs the chocolate. The Simpsons Tribe, especially Bart, stare hungrily at the boxes. Harry, Ron and Hermione share a look of guilt.)
Ron: Hey guys, you want a couple of boxes to take back with you?
(Homer crawls over to Ron, kneeling over and kissing his hand.)
Homer: Oh, thank you! THANK YOU!
Ron: Bloody hell mate, it's just chocolate!
(Hermione hands a couple boxes of chocolate to the Simpsons Tribe.)
Hermione: I never thought I'd see the day that Ron Weasley turned down free food.
(Harry, Ron and Hermione share a laugh as they follow their tribe members back to camp.)
Simpsons Tribe, Day 14
(Homer is wolfing down the sweets before Lisa grabs the box from his hands.)
Lisa: Dad, we need to ration these chocolates. Remember, we still have about 25 days left here in Egypt.
Homer: D'OH! (sighs) Alright Lisa!
Lisa: (glances at Bart eating chocolates) Same goes for you Bart!
Bart: Well well well, who died and made you leader of the tribe?
Lisa: (glaring at Bart) I've been the leader of this tribe since DAY ONE!
Bart: Have not.
Lisa: Have to.
Bart: Have not.
Lisa: Have to. (Bart and Lisa are in each other's face, staring each other down angrily.)
Bart: (backing off and smirking) Okay sis, have it your way. Enjoy your role as leader of the tribe, but just remember which one of us has the alliance around here.
(Bart walks away, leaving Lisa alone with a now sleeping Homer.)
Lisa: As much as I hate to admit it, Bart is right. He's the one with the alliance, so ultimately he's the one with all the power and influence in our tribe right now. However, I refuse to join his little alliance, so winning tomorrow's immunity challenge is a must for me, or else I'll being reunited with Milhouse sooner than I thought I'd be.
Hogwarts Tribe, Day 14
(Harry and Hermione are sitting by the fire. Ron and Luna have already fallen asleep in each other's arm. Harry grabs a piece of chocolate from a nearby box.)
Harry: Open up you. (Hermione turns to look at him) Don't you trust me?
Hermione: (smiling and blushing) Duh, of course I do Harry. It's just I've never been a huge fan of chocolate, being from a family of dentists and all.
Harry: Have you even tried it before?
Hermione: No.
Harry: Well, come on then. (handing her the chocolate) Don't knock it until you try it.
(Reluctantly, Hermione takes the piece of chocolate, puts it in her mouth and swallows.)
Hermione: Alright, that was pretty good actually. I don't think I'll make it a regular part of my diet though.
Harry: Fine by me. Wouldn't want to ruin that fantastic figure of yours! (Harry wraps his arms around Hermione as they both hug each other.)
Hermione: (yawning) Well, I'm off to bed. You coming with?
Harry: Don't worry, I'll be right behind you.
(Harry and Hermione head to the shelter while a couple of shadowy figures watch from down shore.)
Day 15: Immunity Challenge
Brian: Once again, it's time for an immunity chall…
Cameraman: (interrupting) Uhh Brian…
Brian: WHAT? I was right on cue this time!
Cameraman: Yeah sorry, I've just gotten used to you doing something before I tell you that you're on.
Brian: Don't sweat it kid. (lights up a cigar) Anyway, it's time for out next immunity challenge. Down two castaways, it is critical that the Simpsons Tribe wins the immunity idol today or they could be in serious trouble. (looks off in the distance) Looks like our tribes have just arrived.
(Hogwarts and Simpsons Tribes arrive at site of challenge.)
Brian: Tribes, for today's challenge, we're going to have a little bit of a scavenger hunt. Each team has been provided with a map. On that map is the location of three luxury items that the opposing tribe brought with them to camp.
Bart: So that's where my slingshot went?
Hermione: And my copy of Hogwarts: A History?
Brian: Don't worry, you'll get your luxury items back after the challenge is over. So, the rules are simple: find your opponent's three luxury items, dig them up and bring them back here and put them on your table. The first team to do this wins immunity. Hogwarts Tribe, I'm going to need two people to sit this one out, and it cannot be the same people as last time. (Malfoy and Ron stand beside Brian.) Okay, Malfoy and Ron are sitting this one out. Any more questions? (silence) Well, without further ado, survivors ready and GO!
[Both teams head off into the nearby oasis of palm trees to search for their three items. The Simpsons Tribe, with the guidance of Lisa, reaches their first item first and dig up Ron's deluminator that he received from Dumbledore. Shortly after that, the Hogwarts find and retrieve Homer's beer hat. The teams are neck and neck as they both locate and dig up the second items (Hermione's Hogwarts: A History and Bart's slingshot) in short order. The Simpsons Tribe grab a slight lead as the Hogwarts Tribe gets briefly lost. The Simpsons tribe digs up the third item, Harry's Invisibility Cloak, and starts to head toward the finish. However, the Hogwarts Tribe, having just dug up Lisa's diary, is close on their heels. It is a foot race to the finish as the two tribes emerge from the oasis. The slight advantage that the Simpsons Tribe got in retrieving their third item proves to be enough as they put the three items on the table just moments before the Hogwarts Tribe arrives. The Simpsons Tribe wins and celebrates.]
Brian: Congratulations Simpsons Tribe! You have broken your losing streak in immunity challenges. Here is the immunity idol, you five will spend at least three more days here. (hands them the idol, which Homer hoists over his head) Hogwarts Tribe, for the first time in nine days, you all will be headed to tribal council.
Hogwarts Tribe, Day 15
(Harry, Hermione, Ron and Luna are sitting around the fire talking about the upcoming tribal council.)
Ron: So Harry, who do we vote off?
Harry: (shakes his head) I don't know… Either Neville or Malfoy.
Luna: Harry, I don't know about Neville. Sure, we haven't seen a lot of him, but we don't have any proof the he is evil.
Hermione: Let's just discuss this later. In the meantime, I'm going to prepare dinner.
Ron: Alright, Luna and I will grab some plants and water from the oasis. Coming sweetie?
Luna: Right behind you love. (Ron and Luna disappear behind a palm tree and into the oasis.)
Hermione: (smiling) Well, they sure do make quite the couple, don't they?
Harry: (staring down) Oh yeah, they seem to be very happy together.
Hermione: (looking at Harry concerned) Is something wrong?
Harry: I don't know. I just get this strange feeling something bad is about to happen. It's probably nothing.
(Harry and Hermione keep talking for a few minutes. Then, all of a sudden, they hear screaming and Ron emerges from the oasis.)
Ron: HARRY! HERMIONE! COME QUICK…SOMETHING HAPPENED TO LUNA!
(Harry and Hermione run into the oasis behind Ron, following them over to the spring of water, where they see Luna, except she has bruises and cuts all over her body and huge bite marks on her leg and torso.)
Hermione: Ron, what happened?
Ron: (distraught and on the verge of tears) I don't…I don't know. We were looking for plants, and…and..she separated to go get water (crying) and….and…I just found her like this!
(Harry and Hermione try their best to comfort Ron when they notice Luna regaining consciousness.)
Harry: Luna? Luna, do you know what happened to you?
Luna: (clearly in pain, speaking faintly) I don't know much. I just remember walking over to the spring, and then from out of nowhere, a snake attacked me. I didn't get a good glimpse of it, but… but it almost looked like a mini basilisk, and then it just vanished out of thin air. That's when I lost consciousness.
Harry: I'm going to fetch a medical team at once. Hang in there Luna. (Harry dashes out of the woods to find the onsite medical crew.)
Hermione: Vanished? It must have been summoned magically, but that can't be. Our wands were all confiscated before the game started. Unless…unless someone brought more than one wand with them.
Ron: IT WAS MALFOY! IT HAD TO BE THAT LITTLE FERRET!
Hermione: Ron, calm down. We're going to figure out who did this and we're going to get them disqualified.
(Harry comes back with the medical crew. Luna is put on a stretcher and is given a respirator to help her breathe. Brian approaches the Golden Trio.)
Brian: Where's the rest of your tribe?
Harry: We don't know.
Brian: Well, anyway, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is you guys don't have to go to tribal council tonight. The bad news is that Luna's injuries are severe enough that she won't be able to continue and will have to drop out of the competition.
Ron: IT WAS MALFOY, OR CRABBE, OR NEVILLE! THEY USED MAGIC! THEY HAVE TO BE DISQUALIFIED!
Brian: Ron, I understand how hard this must be for you, but unless we have proof that one of your tribe members used magic to conjure the snake, then I'm afraid we can't disqualify them. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do.
(Ron runs over to Luna's stretcher before she is put in the helicopter.)
Ron: Get better luv! (kisses her on the cheek) I promise you, justice will be served! Either Harry, Hermione or I is going to win this…for you!
(Luna smiles at Ron as she is put in the helicopter. The Golden Trio wave as the helicopter takes off and flies into the distance.)
Hermione: (sighs) Well, this changes everything.
Harry: Yeah, but at least we still have each other.
(Harry, Ron and Hermione hug each other and then head back to camp.)
(Meanwhile, back in the oasis…)
Malfoy: Good job, you've done well my new friend!
(Neville emerges from the woods)
Neville: Yes, indeed I have.
END OF EPISODE FIVE
No tribal council