Simpsons vs. Harry Potter Survivor
Episode 9
Brian: Well, we've been talking about it for days now, but it's finally here. Today, the two tribes and eight remaining survivors will merge into one tribe. Here's how it is going to work: Each tribe has picked a representative to visit the camp site of the opposing tribe. Hermione will represent the Hogwarts Tribe while Lisa will represent the Simpsons tribe. After the visits, Lisa and Hermione will meet together at a tent a few miles away, where they will be treated to a buffet dinner and nice accommodations for the night. However, it won't all be fun and games for the two girls, as there will be a lot of negotiating between the two as they need to come up with a name for the new tribe, the uniform color of the new tribe, which campsite they will be staying at, among other things.
What will the new tribe be called and what will it look like? Will the eight survivors get along living together in a new tribe? Who will be the first member of the new tribe voted off? Read on and find out!
Hogwarts Tribe, Day 25
(Harry and Hermione are standing on the beach holding hands and sharing one last moment before Hermione departs for the Simpsons Tribe.)
Harry: It's going to be a long night tonight without you beside me.
Hermione: (smiling and blushing) Don't worry Harry, I'll be back in the morning. (The two hug each other and share a brief kiss before Hermione leaves.)
Harry: Have a good time sweetheart!
(Neville and Crabbe join Harry to see Hermione)
Crabbe: Try to bring us back some food from that buffet, okay?
(The four Hogwarts classmates share a laugh before Hermione heads off down the beach. The three boys wave at her before heading back to shelter.)
Neville: Now what?
Harry: I think Ron's Wizard's Chess set that he brought as a luxury item is still here. Anyone down for a game?
Crabbe: Sure, Why not? You and Neville got first though because I don't know really know the rules.
Simpsons Tribe, Day 25
(Lisa has already left to visit the Hogwarts Tribe. Bart, Nelson, and Moe are sitting at Moe's makeshift bar sharing another round of coconut juice and talking strategy.)
Bart: Moe, I know I've given you a hard time in the past with the prank calls, but is it possible that you could see your way towards reforming our alliance?
Moe: (skeptical) I don't know Bart. I'll have to consider it.
(Bart nods his head in understanding before turning to face Nelson.)
Nelson: Well you've got me Bart. Blackmail, shmlackmail…you're my friend, and I'm gonna do what I can to make sure one of us makes it all the way.
Bart: You would possibly ruin your bully reputation for that?
Nelson: Sure…being a bully isn't really all it's cracked up to be anyway.
(Bart and Nelson high-five and go back to their drinks. A few minutes later, they catch sight of a teenage girl with a long mane of bushy brown hair walking towards their camp. They get up and walk over to meet her.)
Bart: You must be Hermione.
Hermione: Yeah, and you must be Bart.
Bart: Yep, and that is Moe Syzlak and Nelson Muntz. (Bart, Nelson and Moe shake hands with Hermione and then show her the camp.)
Hermione: (looks at hammocks) Wish we had some of those at our camp. Lounging on the wooden floor of our shelter gets a little hard on the back after a while.
Nelson: They haven't gotten much use since Homer left though. (chuckles) He pretty much lived in one of those hammocks while he was here.
Hermione: (laughs) That doesn't surprise me really. Homer didn't exactly come across to me as a hard-working individual.
Moe: Yeah care for a drink there herm-own-ninny?
Hermione: It's Hermione, and sure what do you have?
(The four of them walk over to Moe's makeshift bar.)
Moe: I've got some coconut juice fresh from the shell.
Hermione: Oh, I'll have that then. (takes a seat on one of the rocks that Moe is using as a bar stool.)
(Moe pours some coconut juice into an empty coconut shell and hands it to Hermione.)
Moe: Normally, I make people pay me three seashells for that stuff, but seeing that you're a visitor, this one's on the house.
Hermione: Brilliant, thank you very much!
(The four castaways sit at the bar, talk and get further acquainted with each other.)
Bart: Boy, that Hermione sure is something. Smart, beautiful, kind...it will be great to be in the same tribe as her. (anxious look) I wonder what she thinks of me.
Hogwarts Tribe, Day 25
Harry: Checkmate! I win again!
Crabbe: Darn it! I thought I had you.
Harry: Don't beat yourself up over it Crabbe. I've spent hours playing Wizard's Chess with Ron in the Gryffindor Common Room over the years.
Neville: Oi guys! I think our guest has arrived. (points down towards the shore of the Nile where Lisa is walking towards camp. They walk down to the beach to meet here.)
Lisa: Hey Harry, it's great seeing you again. (hugs Harry) This must be Neville and Crabbe. (shakes hands with Neville and Crabbe)
Harry: Thanks again for helping us find out who hurt Luna.
Lisa: No problem. Did you ever find who it was?
(The three boys exchange glances before Harry responds.)
Harry: Yeah, it's kind of a long story.
Lisa: Well, I'm here with you guys all day, so I've got time.
(The four of them head back to the shelter and sit down on the lawn chairs while Harry, Crabbe and Neville explain to Lisa about the wand they found, the meeting with Ollivander and their revenge on Malfoy.)
Lisa: (gasps) So Neville, you don't remember a thing that happened while you were under this Imperius curse?
Neville: Nope, not a thing. I'm actually kind of glad I don't remember it though. I obviously did some pretty bad things while under Malfoy's control.
Harry: Yeah, I'm just glad that whole mess is behind us now. Anyways, you want to see the rest of camp?
Lisa: Of course…I mean, that's kind of why I'm here, right? (The four of them share a chuckle before getting up and walking around the Hogwarts camp site.)
Day 25: Representative's Dinner/Meeting
Brian: Now that Lisa and Hermione have seen the opposing tribe's campsites, it is time for them to meet in this tent 10 miles down shore from the campsites where they will hash out the details of the brand new tribe, including name, tribe color and which campsite they will be staying at. (the distant sound of a motorboat can be heard) That must be our representatives arriving right now.
(In the fading sunlight, the small motorboat lands on the shore of the Nile, and Lisa and Hermione step out and onto the sand in front of the large tent set up before them that is illiuminated by the surrounding torches.)
Brian: Lisa, Hermione, here's where you'll be spending the night (the trio step inside the tent, which contains two twin-sized beds, a nightstand and a table in the middle full of a wide variety of foods and beverages for the two girls to enjoy. There is even a curtained shower in the corner of the tent for them to use to clean up. Both girls are in awe of the amazing accommodations.) So, you two already got your instructions about what to do on the ride over here, so Ill just leave you two to it then. (Brian exits the tent)
(Lisa and Hermione look at each other and giggle in delight.)
Hermione: Oh my gosh…this is sooooooo amazing!
Lisa: I know, we are going to have so much fun. (stares at hamburgers on the table and frowns slightly) I just wish they didn't include meat as a food option.
Hermione: Well, I know some guys who will love to see these. (grabs a few hamburgers and puts them in her bag.)
Lisa: You want to use the shower first?
Hermione: Nope, you go ahead. I'm starving…I'll go ahead and help myself to some food.
(For the next hour or two, Lisa and Hermione get cleaned up and help themselves to the generous amount of refreshments. Once they've had their fill, they start chatting and getting down to business.)
Lisa: Alright, first things first, what's going to be the name of the new tribe going to be called?
Hermione: Well, it should probably be something related to Egypt. Perhaps a major landmark…For example, I read about this statue in Giza called the Sphinx.
Lisa: That would make a great name for the tribe.
Hermione: Okay, Sphinx Tribe it is. Now, what should the tribe's official color be?
Lisa: (thinking) Hmmmmm…..well, your tribe's color is black and ours is yellow, so those are out of the equation. We've been spending a lot of time in and around the Nile, so how about blue?
Hermione: Brilliant! Now for the difficult decision...which campsite are we going to use?
Lisa: (baffled) I don't know. There are pros and cons to using both sites.
Hermione: True. Your campsite seemed much more relaxing with the hammocks and Moe's bar. On the other hand, with the freshwater spring and shadier shelter, our campsite would probably be much more practical, and after all, the game is called Survivor!
Lisa: Well, the tribe that is moving is allowed to bring two items to the new campsite. Perhaps we can use your campsite and I'll bring the hammocks over as well as my filet knife?
Hermione: That sounds great! So, it's settled then?
Lisa: Yep.
(Lisa and Hermione sit in awkward silence for a few minutes before Hermione breaks the silence.)
Hermione: Gee, that sure didn't long at all.
Lisa: Yeah, did we really need all the overnight accommodations? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad I got to take a shower for the first time in nearly a month, but this must have cost the producer quite a bit.
Hermione: I guess we could use this spare time to talk alliances and strategy. How about you, me, Harry and Bart team up?
Lisa: (sighs) I would agree to that right away, except…well, Bart and I haven't been on the best of terms since we arrived here. We've been fighting each other, arguing with each other, or just plain ignoring each other. He even planned an alliance to vote me off! Then, perhaps worst of all, I was able to break apart Bart's alliance, but at the cost of my morals and ethics. I came into this game with the goal of not only winning it, but winning it the right way, and I failed. (eyes glare in anger) All because of him!
Hermione: I'm an only sibling myself, so I can't exactly sympathize with your situation. However, Ron and I are like brother and sister in every way except bloodline, and we've had our fair share of spats in the past. Despite all that, we forgive each other sooner or later after every fight or disagreement because of our friendship and unconditional love for each other, almost like that of true siblings. It's up to you how to handle, but I think that you should see past the differences and find it in your heart to forgive him. Deep down, I think he's a very good person who could prove very useful for our alliance, at least judging from our meeting today, that is. (sees tears welling up in Lisa's eyes) Wait, are you okay Lisa?
Lisa: (crying) You're right, Hermione. Oh my god, how could I let a stupid game show tear apart Bart and I's sibling relationship? (cries uncontrollably as Hermione tries to comfort her with a hug) I..I gotta talk with him the first chance I get! I gotta set things right!
(Lisa gets her sobs under control and after a while, the two girls get drowsy and head to bed.)
Lisa: Hermione?
Hermione: Yeah?
Lisa: Thanks for that talk, and consider that alliance a done deal.
(Lisa shuts off the lamp in the tent as the two commence their most comfortable night of sleep since arriving in Egypt 25 days ago.)
Day 26
(A motorboat whisks Brian, Hermione and Lisa away from the tent and back downshore to the Simpsons Tribe campsite. Upon arrival, the motorboat stops on shore and Lisa gets out to get Bart, Nelson and Moe's attention.)
Lisa: (yelling, standing in front of the motorboat) Hey Guys! We're moving over to the Hogwarts campsite! You have 5 minutes to grab the hammocks, filet knife and all your personal items before you get on board the motorboat!
Bart: (gets up from hammock, grumbling) Whatever, who made you the boss of me?
Nelson: Uhh…I guess we did when we made her our tribe's representative.
Bart: (snorts) A lot of good that decision is doing for us right now. What are we going to do without Moe's Bar?
Moe: (shrugs shoulders) Yeah, whatever. I wasn't making much of a profit on this dump anyway. I was probably gonna burn it later to cash in on the insurance.
(Bart and Nelson exchange confused looks before resuming their packing. Once done, they join Lisa, Hermione and Brian on the motorboat as they head over to their new campsite. The motorboat stops on shore right in front of the campsite of the new Sphinx tribe. Harry, Neville and Crabbe walk down to the shore to greet the new tribemates. Upon seeing Hermione, Harry quickly smothers her in a warm embrace.)
Hermione: How was your night?
Harry: Depends, how was yours?
Hermione: Fantastic. I haven't slept so well since I got here.
Harry: (smiling) In that case, my night was excellent. (kisses Hermione on cheek)
Hermione: Hey Crabbe! (Crabbe turns to face Hermione) Catch! (Hermione throws Crabbe a couple of cheeseburgers from last night's representative's dinner.)
Crabbe: Thanks so much Hermione! (begins to devour one of the burgers)
Brian: Can I get everyone's attention real quick? (tribe members turn to face Brian) First of all, for those who don't know, the newly merged tribe is called the Sphinx Tribe, and your new tribe color will be blue. Speaking of which, here are new blue shirts for the eight of you as well as your new team flag. (Everyone is pleased to receive fresh blue garments, except for Crabbe, whose shirt appears to be a size too small.) Lastly, there will be no reward challenge today, so I will meet you all tomorrow for the first individual immunity challenge. With that, I will leave you all to get assimilated to your new tribe. Peace!
(Brian cranks up motorboat and heads back downshore. The eight castaways head back towards the shelter to make the necessary changes for the new tribe members. Nelson and Crabbe take down the Hogwarts Tribe flag and replace it with the new blue Sphinx Tribe. Harry and Moe work together to set up the hammocks that the former Simpsons Tribe members brought with them. While all this is going on, Lisa and Hermione are preparing dinner when Hermione taps Lisa on the shoulder and points in the direction of Bart, who is chatting with Nelson while they set up the flag.
Lisa: You sure?
Hermione: Don't worry, I can finish this by myself.
(Lisa sighs and decides that now is as good a time as any to talk to Bart. She gets up and walks over, tapping Bart on the shoulder to get his attention. Bart turns around and glares at Lisa with arms folded.)
Bart: (annoyed) What do you want Lis?
Lisa: (nervous) I forgive you Bart.
Bart: (expression softens a little bit, unfolds arms) What?
Lisa: I forgive you for voting off Milhouse, for trying to get me kicked off, for everything that's happened between us here in Egypt. You weren't doing anything wrong. You were just trying to play the game, and so was I when I broke your alliance. Still, that doesn't justify me blackmailing Nelson and revealing our secret to Moe about the prank calls, and for that I apologize. (breaths deep and relaxes) There, did I miss anything?
(Bart smirks a little bit and then starts to chuckle a little bit before giving her little sister a hug.)
Bart: It's no problem Lis. I was getting tired of fighting you anyway. I hate it when we're not getting along because, even though it might not seem like it at times, you're my sister and I love you with all my heart.
(Lisa is crying again, but this time it is tears of joy as the two Simpson children share another tight hug.)
Bart: How does a Simpson sibling alliance sound to you?
Lisa: Can I bring Harry and Hermione into the alliance with me?
Bart: (glances in the distance at Harry and Hermione working on dinner) Meh, I've got no problem with that. By the way, thanks for forgiving me after all I've done. I've been a real dick of late.
Lisa: Don't thank me… thank Hermione. She's persuaded me last night.
Bart: (love-struck gaze in his eyes) Oh that Hermione. Smoking hot and compassionate. I wonder if Harry would mind me hanging out with her.
(Bart and Lisa walk over to the campfire to join Harry and Hermione. Meanwhile, Nelson eavesdropped on the whole conversation, and did not like what was being discussed…not one bit.)
Nelson: Bart and Lisa forgiving each other is the last thing I wanted to have happen. If they join Harry and Hermione, I'll likely be left on the outside looking in. I gotta come up with a plan and fast. (Neville trips over wooden plank and fall) Haw-Haw!
Day 27: Immunity Challenge
Brian: (on the cell phone) Peter, for the last time, I don't know where the remote is. (pauses) I can't help you look for it, I'm in Egypt, remember?
Cameraman: Brian!
Brian: Hold on, I'll call ya back later. (turns off cell phone and puts it away) Now that the eight remaining castaways have merged into one tribe, not only will tribal politics and alliances change, but so will immunity challenges. We will no longer need the immunity idol as all immunity challenges from this point forward will be every man, or woman for themselves. The winner of the immunity will receive this immunity necklace (takes immunity necklace out of nearby crate) and cannot be voted off at the upcoming tribal council. (looks off in the distance) With that being said, here come our survivors!
(Sphinx Tribe arrives at challenge site next to the Nile.)
Brian: Castaways, welcome to our first individual immunity challenge. Today's challenge is pretty straightforward, or should be to all of you now that Homer is gone. We're going to canoe out to that dock over there. Once we're there, all eight of you will dive underwater and try to hold your breath for as long as possible. The two people who hold their breath the longest will be given a few minutes to catch their breath before swimming back to shore. The first person to cross the finish line marked by the two torches wins individual immunity. Any questions? Alright then, let's get to it!
(Brian and the eight survivors canoe over to the platform in the Nile. Brian stands on the platform while the eight survivors jump in the water and grab the edge of the platform.)
Brian: Survivors Ready, and GO!
[The eight contestants take in a large breath of air before diving underwater. Only 30 seconds in, Crabbe surfaces for air and is the first eliminated. Nelson follows him about ten seconds later. At the 1:10 mark, Moe becomes the third survivor on the platform. Twenty seconds later, Lisa can't go on and goes up for air. Hermione follows her a few seconds later, leaving Harry, Neville and Bart alone in the water. It stays this way for another thirty seconds before Neville jumps up out of the water. Brian blows a whistle, signaling Bart and Harry to come up for air before their race back to shore. As the two catch their breath, Bart stares down Harry with a rather intense look on his face and then glances quickly over at Hermione. Brian blows his whistle to tell Bart and Harry to get ready for the swim back to shore.]
Brian: Bart and Harry, are you ready? (chuckles) I'm a poet and didn't even know it!
Bart/Harry: GET ON WITH IT!
Brian: Right, survivors ready….GO!
[Bart and Harry jump off the platform and swim towards shore. They are neck and neck for the first half of the race, but then Harry's experience swimming in the lake during the second challenge of the Triwizard Tournament kicks in and he finds a second gear. Bart tries furiously to catch up, but by the time he reaches shore, Harry is crossing the finish line, claiming immunity. Bart looks irritated and frustrated at coming up short.]
Brian: (after paddling back to shore with the other survivors) Harry, congratulations! As promised, here is the immunity necklace, so you cannot be voted off at tonight's tribal council.
(Harry takes the necklace and puts it around his neck. Hermione hugs Harry and gives him a kiss on the cheek while Neville congratulates him with a pat on the back. Brian's cell phone rings and he answers it.)
Brian: Peter, did you try looking under the couch? (pauses) See, I told you it was under there. (pauses) Yes Peter, you're welcome. (Pauses) No Peter, I don't want to watch another episode of Knight Rider.(hangs up)
Day 27- Back at Camp
(Bart is chilling in the spring when Nelson arrives and joins him.)
Nelson: Good effort in the challenge Bart! (changes expression to serious and fold arms) However, I couldn't help but notice you spending more time with Lisa, Hermione and Harry. I hope you remember our little agreement. (pounds left fist against open right hand.)
Bart: (gulps but then regains his compsure) Look, I know what you're thinking and trust me, it won't be a problem. I didn't join into any alliance, all I did was make amends with Lisa. She could prove to be very useful to us later on.
Nelson: (softens expression) Great! So, who did you have in mind to vote off?
(Scene shifts to Harry and Hermione fishing in the Nile, looking for dinner.)
Harry: I've got a bad feeling about Bart.
Hermione: What do you mean?
Harry: Did you see the way he was staring me down at the challenge today? It didn't look friendly.
Hermione: I'm sure Bart is a competitive person and really wants to win that million dollars. At this point in the game, we all are in it to win it. Besides, Lisa trusts Bart, and I trust Lisa, and you trust me, right?
Harry: Duh, of course I do Hermione. If I had a Galleon for every time you were right about something in our seven years at Hogwarts, I wouldn't even need to get a job as an Auror. (Harry and Hermione share a laugh)
(Scene shifts back to Nelson and Bart at the spring.)
Nelson: Harry? Are you serious? Why do you want to vote him off?
Bart: (gets nervous and fidgety and begins looking around) Well, you knowwww….he is one of our primary threats and…..uh...(Nelson looks baffled, but then has a revelation and grins from ear to ear)
Nelson: You've got a crush on Hermione, don't ya?
Bart: Yes…no…I mean I don't know. (grunts in frustration) I probably do, but I can't know for sure unless I'm alone with her, and since Harry and Hermione are in a relationship, they spend all their time together, so I need to get rid of him.
Nelson: Unfortunately, Harry has the immunity necklace, so is there anyone else you had in mind?
Bart: (scratches his head as he thinks) Let's see…the person we vote off should be someone who is manipulative, a conniving person that could potentially plot against us or form an alliance to vote us off. (snaps his finger) I got it! (motions Nelson to come closer and whispers in his ear.)
Tribal Council
(The eight castaways arrive enter the hut and take their seats next to the fire. Brian enters, as usual, through a side door.)
Brian: Before we begin the proceedings this evening, let us bring in the first three members of our jury: Ron, Homer and Draco. (Ron, Homer and Draco enter through the same side door Brian used and take their seats on three wooden stumps opposite the remaining survivors.)
Brian: My first question is for Harry. You are currently in possession of the immunity necklace. Would you like to give it to someone else who you think needs it more than you?
Harry: Are you mental? Of course not!
Brian: Okay, okay, just wondering. Crabbe, you didn't fare too well in today's immunity challenge. Do you feel like you are currently the weak link in this tribe?
Crabbe: Maybe I am and Maybe I'm not, but I think all the tribe members have their particular weaknesses, and breathing underwater happens to be one of mine.
Malfoy: (mumbling under his breath) Pfff…you're definitely the weak link without me around to protect you.
Crabbe: I wouldn't go around saying that to someone who is twice your size, Draco! (balls up fists, effectively silencing Draco for the evening and emitting a laugh from Ron.)
Brian: Last question is for Lisa. Now that you and Bart have forgiven each other, do you believe the two of you will begin working together more often?
Lisa: I don't know the answer to that yet Brian, but I'm trying to piece together an alliance with other tribe members and I sincerely hope Bart will join in on it.
Brian: Alright then, without further delay, it's time to vote. Harry, you have immunity, so you'll lead us off.
[Harry walks up to voting booth, grabs the writing utensil and quickly writes down BART on the sheet.]: I don't know what you're up to Bart, but I'm going to stop it before it begins. (folds paper in half and puts it in bucket)
[Shot of Hermione Voting, then Moe voting, then Nelson casts his vote for MOE.] It was difficult picking someone to vote off because there is no one left here that I really hate, so don't take this personally Moe.
[Shot of Bart voting, then Crabbe and Neville vote. Lisa is the last one up, and she writes her vote and reveals it: CRABBE.] At this juncture in the game, I plan on voting off people based on competence and work ethic both around camp and in the challenges. Based on that criteria, Crabbe should be the one to go. He didn't help all that much in setting up camp for the merger, and finished last in today's challenge. Nothing against you Crabbe, but you deserve to go more than the rest of us do. (folds up vote and places it in bucket. Lisa returns to her seat while Brian retrieves the bucket.)
Brian: It's been a busy few days for all of you, but now it is time to see who will be the first voted out of this new tribe. (pauses briefly) I will now read the votes. (grabs piece of paper out of bucket) first vote is for…Bart. (Bart furrows eyebrows) Next vote…Moe….Third vote…is for Crabbe. (Malfoy smirks) Fourth vote…Moe…That's two for Moe, one for Crabbe, one for Bart….Next vote….is for Crabbe…Sixth vote…Moe….Seventh Vote…Crabbe….Moe and Crabbe are tied at three votes each…(grabs last piece of paper)…and the first person voted out of the Sphinx Tribe is…Moe!
Moe: Agh, son of a b-! (kicks over the stump he was sitting on and then tries to grab Lisa's torch, but Bart keeps him from doing it. Moe then grabs his own torch and walks over to Brian.)
Brian: Moe Syzlak, the tribe has spoken. (extinguishes flame) (Moe exits the hut via the side door) As for the rest of you, you all may head back to camp and get some rest. (The seven remaining castaways grab their torches and head back to camp.)
END OF EPISODE NINE
Tribal Council #9 Vote
Candidate (# of votes)
Voters
Moe (4)
Bart
Nelson
Crabbe
Neville
Crabbe (3)
Lisa
Hermione
Moe
Bart (1)
Harry