Simpsons vs. Harry Potter Survivor
Episode 10
Brian: Previously on Simpsons vs. Harry Potter Survivor, the game changed dramatically as the Hogwarts and Simpsons Tribe merged into one group now known as the Sphinx Tribe. The biggest event from the past three days was Bart and Lisa finally putting aside a sibling rivalry that had been going on since day one here in Egypt. However, while Bart gained an ally in his little sister, he also gained an enemy in boy wizard Harry Potter. Harry believes Bart is up to something, and was correct as Bart confessed to his best friend Nelson Muntz that he had developed a crush on Harry's girlfriend Hermione Granger.
This newfound tension between the Boy Who Lived and the Devil's Cabana Boy would play out in the first individual immunity challenge. Harry and Bart were the two competitors who held their breath underwater the longest, resulting in a head-to-head swimming race between the two for immunity. Ultimately, Harry proved to be the better swimmer and was the first castaway to win the immunity necklace.
With Harry safe from elimination, Bart and Nelson set their sights on a different person to vote off: Springfield's resident bartender Moe Syzlak. Sure enough, at tribal council, Moe ended up being the first castaway voted out of the new Sphinx Tribe by a 4-3-1 vote.
Will Bart make a move on Hermione or concede defeat to Harry? After getting 3 votes at tribal council, can Crabbe step it up and get his head out of the noose? Who will be the next person voted off? It should be an interesting three days here on the banks of the Nile…
Day 28
(Neville and Crabbe are out in the oasis of palm trees gathering firewood and having a friendly conversation.)
Neville: (laughing hysterically) Ha HA HA! Wait, so Hermione really punched Malfoy in the nose during third year?
Crabbe: (chuckling) Yeah, you should have seen him run away like a coward! (sighs) I can't believe I put up with his shit for seven years.
Neville: (stops laughing) Anyway, on a bit more serious note, who do you think voted for you last night?
Crabbe: (shrugs shoulders) I have no idea. I haven't really pissed off anyone during my time here, so they must have thought I was the weakest link in the tribe.
Neville: Well, you didn't do much work setting up camp during the merger, so that might have drawn the ire of a few tribe members.
Crabbe: Yeah, Neville did have a point there. While everyone else was helping out, I was busy eating the burgers Hermione gave me from the representative's dinner. There are so few castaways left that I can't really lay low anymore and expect to avoid votes at tribal council. If I want a shot at winning it all, I'm going to have to step my game up, especially in the challenges.
(Crabbe and Neville arrive back at camp with plenty of wood for the shelter and the fire. Bart and Nelson are lounging around the fire when the two Hogwarts students arrive.)
Neville: Where's everyone else?
Bart: Lisa and Hermione are out in the woods gathering plants for food and Harry is down by the shore fishing.
Crabbe: I think I'll join Harry for some fishing. Any of you wanna come?
Neville: I'm fine. I think I'll sit back for a bit.
(Crabbe grabs a fishing pole and heads down to the shore to join Harry.)
Neville: I think last night's tribal council was a real wake-up call for Crabbe. He's helping out more around the camp today than he ever did in the early stages of the game. I think the two of us should try to stick together if we want to stand a chance.
(Harry is standing by the shore waiting for a bite when he sees Crabbe approaching him.)
Harry: What's up Crabbe, how's your day been?
Crabbe: It's been alright. Mind If I join you?
Harry: Be my guest.
(Crabbe casts his fishing line. The two stand there in silence for about thirty minutes, as Harry and Crabbe each catch a fish. It is Crabbe who eventually breaks the silence.)
Crabbe: Harry, I understand why you voted for me at tribal council last night.
Harry: Wait, What?
Crabbe: I haven't been doing my share around camp and I'm sure you are a bit reluctant to trust me after all my years siding with Malfoy.
Harry: Uhh…actually Crabbe, I'm the one who voted for Bart last night.
Crabbe: Seriously? (Harry nods) Hmm…what's your grudge with Bart?
Harry: I'm not entirely sure yet. I just have this gut feeling that he's up to something. Even if he isn't planning something, he's definitely one of the favorites to win it all.
Crabbe: You make a good point. I'll be sure to keep Bart in mind as someone to vote off.
(Harry and Crabbe then return to their silent fishing. Meanwhile, back at camp, Lisa and Hermione have returned to camp with a few fresh plants for dinner.)
Neville: Finally, some variety in our diet. I've been getting tired of nothing but rice and fish all the time.
(Lisa and Hermione set the plants down on a slab of wood by the fire. Lisa takes a seat by Nelson while Hermione takes a seat by Bart, which makes the young Simpson boy a little nervous.)
Bart: Sooo…. Sure is getting a bit lonelier around here.
Hermione: I'll say…I miss Ron and Luna more and more every day. I sure hope Luna is making a speedy recovery. Well, at least I still have Harry around. (turns to Bart) Anyone you miss back in Springfield?
Bart: My parents, my baby sister Maggie, and my best friend Milhouse. (sighs) I can't believe I got him kicked off so early.
Hermione: Why'd you do that?
Bart: I don't know…I guess I was just overprotective of my sister and was doing everything I can to win the game.
Hermione: While it goes against all my morals and ethics, I can see why you did what you did. After all, this game is so cutthroat that it makes people do things they wouldn't normally do.
Bart: (laughs nervously) Ha ha…yeah, you got that right.
(Hermione is mildly perplexed by Bart's reaction but shakes it off as nothing. Just then, Harry and Crabbe return to camp with a decent catch of five fish.)
Neville: Way to go guys! We're going to eat well tonight. (He and Lisa grab a fish each and start cooking it over the fire while Harry takes a seat next to Hermione.)
Harry: So how's your day been sweetie?
Hermione: (sarcastic) Oh, the usual…hiking through an oasis for edible plants while marooned in the middle of Egypt. How've you been honey?
Harry: Brilliant (shares a kiss with Hermione) Absolutely brilliant.
(Harry and Hermione continue to talk. Meanwhile, Bart has moved to the other side of the shelter with Nelson and Lisa.)
Bart: (still a little tense) Okay…I've had a short conversation alone with Hermione. That's a start, but I still need to find a way to be alone her for a longer period of time. I just need to do it once to see if there's any connection there… that's all.
Day 29
(Bart and Nelson volunteered to walk down to the tree-mail to find out what the next reward challenge is all about.)
Nelson: I don't know man…you'd be putting yourself up as a prime target for votes at tribal council if you did that.
Bart: I know, but my stomach is in knots every time I'm around Hermione and it's going to stay that way until I find a way to spend time alone with her.
(They arrive at the tree-mail and Bart grabs the sheet of paper and reads it to himself. When he's done, he has a wide grin on his face and he passes the note to Nelson.)
Nelson: Dude, you know I can't read, right?
Bart: Sorry. The challenge is going to be some sort of test of our survival skills and whoever wins will get to spend the night on a yacht with the person of their choice.
Nelson: (eyes widen with realization) You gotta win that challenge man. Come on, let's go rejoin the others.
Day 29: Reward Challenge
Brian: (playing Call of Duty on Xbox Live) OH YEAH! HEADSHOT BABY! EAT IT! (barks loudly at television)
Cameraman: Brian?
Brian: WHAT! Can't you see I'm on a kill streak?
Cameraman: The reward challenge…
Brian: (sighs and shuts off XBOX) Okay, bring in the survivors…
(Seven remaining castaways join Brian on the beach.)
Brian: Sphinx Tribe, you all have been here for almost thirty days, which is plenty of time to hone your basic survival skills. Today, we put those skills to the test. You will have five minutes to gather as much wood as you can to build a fire. Once the five minutes is up, you will return here to the beach where a fire plot marked by two sticks is waiting for you. The two wooden poles are tied together at the top by a small piece of rope. The first castaway to build their fire, light it and snap their piece of rope in half with the fire will get to stay the night on that private yacht in the Nile with a fellow castaway of his or her choice. Any questions?
Crabbe: Will there be cheeseburgers on the yacht?
Brian: (exasperated) Is food the only thing you think about kid? Seriously, go to a gym or something! (regains his compsure) But I digress! Now, if you all are ready (everyone nods their head in agreement) Survivors Ready….GO!
[The seven survivors sprint off into the oasis of palm trees to gather firewood. Thanks to their stronger statures, Crabbe and Nelson gather the most firewood while Bart and Lisa's smaller bodies prevent them from carrying back a lot of firewood. Once the five minutes for gathering firewood expires, the survivors dash over to their fire pits and begin building their fires. Hermione's intellect and experience with Muggle camping play to her advantage, as she is the first to build up her fire, with Bart and Neville not too far behind. Meanwhile, a flustered Harry sees Bart making progress on his fire and tries to quicken his pace, only to mess up his stack of firewood and have to start over. Bart, Lisa and Hermione light their fires at about the same time, but Hermione's grows slightly faster, and she ends up burning off her rope with the fire first, claiming the reward. She jumps up and down and hugs Harry in celebration.]
Brian: Congratulations, Hermione! You will now get to spend the night on that yacht. (points to yacht out on the Nile) Which of your fellow castaways would you like to join you?
Hermione: I…I don't know, to be honest. I wish they could all join the yacht. They've all earned a little relaxation in my opinion. (Harry taps Hermione on the shoulder and then whispers something in her ear.) However, if I have to choose one, I'd have to go with…Bart. (points to Bart, who is pleasantly surprised by the turn of events while the other castaways, except for Harry, are shocked.)
Brian: Well alright then. I'll stop by camp at sundown to pick you two up. You all may now head back to camp.
Day 29: Sundown
(Harry and Hermione are sitting alone on the beach enjoying the sunset.)
Hermione: The sunset is so beautiful tonight.
Harry: Oh yeah. In fact, it's the second-most beautiful thing here.
Hermione: (smiles and laughs) Harry, that was incredibly schmaltzy.
Harry: (chuckles) Sorry, I'll try to tone down the romance a little bit next time.
Hermione: (kisses him on cheek) Just tone it down too much there, Prince Charming.
(They hear the sound of an engine and see Brian's motorboat in the distance speeding towards camp.)
Harry: That must be Brian. You remember the plan, right?
Hermione: (apprehensive) Uh…yes, I do.
Harry: (concerned look on his face) Is everything alright?
Hermione: It's just...this all seems so wrong.
Harry: I agree, but this is something we have to do if one of us is going to win this. It's just part of the competition, okay?
Hermione: (nods in understanding) Alright (The two share a hug and separate just as Brian's motorboat arrives on shore.)
Hermione: When I won the reward challenge today, I was originally going to pick Harry to join me on the yacht for obvious reasons, but then he got an idea and told me to invite Bart so that I coax him into revealing his "plans." Personally, I don't think Bart is up to anything suspicious, but I guess there's no harm in doing a little investigating. Besides, it will be great to get to know Bart a little bit better.
Brian: Time for your reward Hermione. Where's El Barto?
Harry: Who? (Bart joins the trio on shore.)
Bart: I think he means me Harry. (Bart joins Hermione and Brian in the motorboat.)
Harry: I'll see you tomorrow Hermione. (Hermione waves as the motorboat speeds off for the yacht.)
Night 29: On the Yacht
(Bart and Hermione are sitting on opposites sides of the table enjoying a delicious steak and salad dinner. In between courses, Bart and Hermione strike up an awkward conversation.)
Bart: So….my sister told me you're quite the student at Hogwarts.
Hermione: Oh, um….yes indeed I am. I got "Outstanding" on my OWLs in every subject…well, except for Divination, which is completely worthless anyway, so I really could care less.
Bart: Well, I don't mean to brag, but I got a B in physical education once.
Hermione: (laughs) That's….impressive. I've never been much of an athlete myself. Harry and Ron are more of the Quidditch type. (Hermione, remembering the task at hand, switches subjects.) So, how do you see the rest of this game playing out? Got any plans?
Bart: (nervous) Uhh…well, maybe I do and maybe I don't. (regains compsure and glares across table) Who wants to know?
Hermione: Oh, it's just…(sighs) Bart, do you know why I picked you to join me on the yacht? (Bart shakes head) Well, I have to confess…
Bart: (interrupting) your love for me? (clasps hand over mouth)
Hermione: (shocked) WHAT? NO!... Actually, Harry told me to pick you so I could figure out what you're up to.
Bart: (disappointed) Oh…That makes a lot more sense.
Hermione: Bart, do you have feelings for me?
Bart: I guess the cat is out of the box. It's true, I do have a bit of a crush on you, but can you blame me? I mean, you're smart, nice, beautiful, not to mention the only girl here who's not related to me.
Hermione: (smiles) Bart, relax. I'm very flattered, but you have to understand that my heart belongs to Harry. You're more like the little brother I never had. Mischievous and a prankster, but deep down a good person who really knows how to have fun and is much cleverer than he thinks he is.
Bart: (coming to terms with rejection) I'm still disappointed, but I think I can live with that. (Bart and Hermione get up from the table and share a hug)
Hermione: That was it, wasn't it? That's what made Harry suspicious of you? (Bart nods) I knew he was all worked up over nothing. (the two stand in brief silence)
Bart: Well, are we going to eat this dessert or what? (points to chocolate cake)
Hermione: I'm kind of full, but I guess I'll have a slice or two.
Bart: I heard they have a Wii downstairs…you ever play Mario Kart before?
Hermione: No…In fact, I've never even heard of it.
Bart: (wide-eyed) What? You're in for a huge treat because that game is kick-ass.
Hermione: I'm a beginner, so promise you'll go easy on me.
Bart: (smirks) I'll try. (Bart and Hermione get up from the table and head below deck.)
Day 30: Immunity Challenge
Brian: (shooting basketball at nearby basketball hoop, but airs ball his shot) Damn it, that's five misses in a row.
Cameraman: Brian, you're on!
Brian: (turns around to look at camera) Oh, hi…didn't see ya there. With only nine days left until a winner is determined, each immunity challenge gets more and more important, especially for someone who is at risk of being voted. So, without further ado, let's bring on our seven remaining survivors. (survivors join Brian on beach) Castaways, unlike our reward challenge yesterday, today's immunity challenge is going to be much less survivor-esque. In front of you is a basketball and basketball hoop. The goal of this challenge is simple. Each of you will take ten free throws from the line in the sand, and whoever makes the most wins immunity.
Lisa: Is that the best challenge you could up with? Seriously, Ralph Wiggum could have up with that one.
Brian: I know, isn't it awful? Our creative team is really starting to run out of ideas. Anyways, Harry I'm going to need that necklace back. (Harry takes immunity necklace off neck and hands it to Brian.) I've randomly determined the order in which you will shoot. Lisa, you're up first.
[Lisa grabs the basketball and steps up to the free throw line. Having never been an good athlete, Lisa only makes three of her ten free throws. Neville is next up, and he doesn't do much better, making only five out of ten free throws. After a three for ten performance from Hermione, Nelson blows the competition away, making eight out of ten free throws. Harry gets close, but fall short of Nelson's mark, sinking seven of ten shots. After a woeful four of ten showing from Crabbe, Bart is the last one up. He makes seven of his first nine, but his last shot to force a tiebreaker goes off the front of the rim and is no good. Nelson wins immunity.]
Brian: Congratulations Nelson Muntz! You have immunity from tonight's tribal council. (Brian hands Nelson the immunity necklace. Bart gives Nelson a pat on the back as he puts the necklace around his neck.)
Day 30: Back At Camp
Lisa: Bart, I thought you were going to be in an alliance with me, Harry and Hermione.
Bart: I'm sorry Lis, but I just can't be an alliance with a guy that I don't see eye to eye with.
Lisa: How do you know you wouldn't get along with Harry? You two have barely hung out together. Besides, you're just jealous that he and Hermione make such a perfect couple.
Bart: Am not
Lisa: Are too
Bart: Am not
Lisa: Are too
Bart: Am n….okay, perhaps I'm a wee bit jealous of Harry, but someone has to go, and it might as well be him. He's a strong competitor and one of the top threats to win it all.
Lisa: You're right, but…he's one of my friends here.
Bart: You're going to have vote off friends sooner or later Lis. Heck, you're gonna have to vote me off sooner or later too.
Lisa: Look, there's still some time before tribal council…I'll think about it, alright? (Bart nods and leaves Lisa alone while he converses with Nelson. Meanwhile, Harry and Hermione talk about what Hermione learned on the yacht last night.)
Harry: What, that was it? You put him down easy, right? (Hermione nods) I feel kind of bad for Bart, but I still think we should target him at tonight's vote. He's one of the top survivors left and he could try to form a counter-alliance with Nelson, Crabbe and Neville. We get rid of him, and we can pick off the others one by one until it's just the two of us. (puts arm around Hermione)
Hermione: It's a good idea, but promise me we save Lisa for last, alright?
Harry: As you wish, my love. (kisses Hermione on forehead)
Tribal Council
Brian: With the elimination of another castaway upon us, Harry and Bart, two of the strongest players left, seem poised to be the primary targets for elimination. Tonight's vote could ultimately be swayed by Lisa Simpson, who is torn between his brother's alliance with Nelson and Harry and Hermione's alliance. The only thing we know for sure is that Nelson Muntz won't be voted off, as he possesses the immunity necklace that prevents others from voting for him. On that note, let's bring in the survivors. (Seven remaining castaways take their seats.) and now let's bring in the jury, which currently stands at four members. (Ron, Homer, Draco and Moe enter via side door and take seats opposite castaways.) Before we begin, I have a few questions for our castaways, the first of which is directed at Lisa. Where do you think you stand in the Sphinx Tribe at this point?
Lisa: In the past few days, I've kind of flown under the radar a little bit, a strategy that has its pros and cons. While I don't consider myself a target for elimination tonight, I might be at risk in the future if I don't become more involved in the tribal politics.
Brian: My next question is for Harry. Now that you know that Bart merely had a crush on Hermione and wasn't plotting anything major, do you still have any ill will towards him?
Harry: Although I no longer consider Bart an enemy or a competitor for Hermione's love, that doesn't mean I'm not aware of his potential to go all the way. Quite honestly, all of the remaining castaways could win it all. We've all made it this far because we've all played the game well to this point.
Brian: Uh-huh. Last but certainly not least, I have a question for Nelson. You currently control the immunity necklace. Would you like to give it someone else?
Nelson: (pauses for a few moments before speaking) You know Brian, I've thought long and hard about this…
(Ron and Homer both laugh quietly) Ron: That's what she said...
Hermione: (rolls her eyes) Oh, grow up you two, especially you Mr. Simpson. (Ron and Homer silence their laughter and allow Nelson to continue.)
Nelson: As I was saying, I've decided to…give the immunity necklace to Bart, as he probably needs it more than me. (takes off necklace and gives it to Bart, whose mouth is open in shock)
Bart: Wow, I don't know what to say…thanks man.
Draco: (under his breath) you dumbass.
Bart: What you say about my friend Malfoy?
Malfoy: Oh, nothing.
Brian: Interesting decision and a great display of friendship, Nelson. With that being said, it's time to vote. Bart, since you now possess the immunity necklace, lead us off.
[Bart walks up to the voting booth, and writes down his vote and shows it to the camera: HARRY] You can have Hermione, but you can't have the million dollars too. Adios boy wizard! [puts vote in bucket]
[Shot of Nelson Voting, Shot of Neville voting, then Hermione walks up to booth and votes for NELSON.] I admire your friendship, but that was not a smart decision…at all.
[Shot of Harry voting, then Crabbe voting, then Lisa, like Hermione, votes for NELSON.] What can I say Nelson? Your heart is definitely bigger than your mind. See ya back in Springfield. [folds up vote, puts in bucket and returns to seat. Brian then goes into booth to tally the votes and returns with the bucket.]
Brian: Fire represents life, yadda yadda yadda, time to read the votes. (pulls piece of paper out of bucket and reads it) First vote is for…Harry. Second vote…Harry. Third vote…Nelson…next vote is also for Nelson…that's two for Nelson, two for Harry…next vote…another for Harry…sixth vote…Nelson…that makes three for Nelson, three for Harry with one vote left (pulls last vote out of bucket and pauses for dramatic effect) the tenth person voted off the island and the fifth member of our jury is…Nelson! I'm going to need you to bring me your torch. (Nelson gets up, high fives Bart, then grabs his torch and stands next to Brian) Nelson Muntz, the tribe has spoken. (extinguishes flame) You have to go now. (Nelson leaves tribal council hut via side door along with jury.) As for the rest of you, congratulations on making it to the top six! You may now head back to camp. (Six remaining castaways grab torches and head back to camp.)
END OF EPISODE TEN
Confessional
Nelson: In hindsight, giving Bart the immunity necklace was probably the dumbest thing I could've done, but like I said before, he needed it more than I did. Besides, he probably has a much better chance of winning it all than I had. It's the least I could do for my best friend. Good luck the rest of the way Bart-man, I'll be rooting for ya!
Tribal Council #10 Voting
Candidate (# of votes)
Voters
Nelson (4)
Lisa
Hermione
Harry
Neville
Harry (3)
Bart
Nelson
Crabbe