Simpsons Vs. Harry Potter Survivor
Episode 11
Brian: We have reached crunch time here on the banks of the Nile. With the million dollar reward so tantalizingly close, tension is starting to build among our six remaining castaways. Harry Potter, thinking Bart was plotting something big, was hoping for an opportunity to investigate, and got his chance when Hermione won a reward and a night on a private yacht with another castaway. At Harry's insistence, Hermione chose Bart. On the yacht, Bart accidentally gave away his crush on Hermione, but the two were able to come to an understanding that their relationship would be nothing more than platonic before enjoying the rest of their night on the yacht.
In the next day's immunity challenge, the castaways had to make as many free throws as they could out of ten. In a heated competition, Nelson Muntz emerged victorious and won control of the immunity challenge, leaving Harry and his friend Bart as the top two candidates for removal from the island. This left Lisa stuck between her brother's alliance and her current alliance with Harry and Hermione.
At tribal council, in a shocking turn of events, Nelson gave his immunity necklace to Bart to save him from elimination. Unfortunately, Nelson's admirable display of friendship put his own head in a noose, as Lisa ultimately sided with Harry and Hermione's alliance to vote off Nelson by a 4-3 count.
With only two members of the former Simpsons Tribe left, will the Hogwarts students gang together to vote them off and have an all-Hogwarts Final Four? Will Lisa choose to stick with her current alliance or switch over to Bart's side? Who will be voted off next? We're about to find out…
Day 31
Harry: Fatigue has started to set in for everyone. We've all been awake for a few hours, but we've been doing nothing but sitting around the fire and talking.
Hermione: As our numbers in the tribe decrease, the tension seems to increase exponentially. Everyone can sense that the million dollar grand prize is within their grasp and no one wants to come this far only to fall short.
Lisa: I think last night's vote might have something to do with the mood around camp today. There is no one here that really disliked Nelson and yet we voted him off anyway. Bart is probably the most depressed out of all of us right now.
(Bart is lying down in the shelter staring up at the green roof of palm leaves when Lisa joins him.)
Lisa: How you holding up Bart? (Bart doesn't move a muscle) Look, I know you're upset about Nelson being voted off, but it's like you said, sooner or later we're going to vote off our friends and family. (Bart sits up)
Bart: (sighs) You're right Lis, but it doesn't change the fact that my best friend is gone and the Hogwarts kids out-number us 4 to 2. They just pick us off one by one now…it's hopeless.
Lisa: I'm surprised at you. You've gone all this way, you formed that alliance with Nelson, Moe and Dad that got both Milhouse and Flanders kicked out of the game. In fact, I'd argue that you've played the game better than anyone else out here. True, the odds are against the two of us, but as long as we're on this island, we've got a chance.
(Lisa's motivational seems to work as Bart stands up and smile for the first time all day.)
Bart: Thanks Lis, I needed that. (hugs Lisa) So, we're going to need to get at least one of the Hogwarts students on our side if we want to survive the vote. (thinking) How are we going to manage that?
Lisa: There's a good chance I can get Hermione on our side on the condition that we don't go after Harry.
Bart: I don't know…that would help us survive the next vote, but we need to think more long-term. What about Crabbe? He seems easy to manipulate, and we can dump him once we reach the final four.
Lisa: (uncertain) Yes, but Hermione…
Bart: is one of the contenders to win the million dollars, or whatever the heck their currency is…especially if both she and Harry make it to the final four. Trust me, we need to go after Harry.
Lisa: (groans and hesitates before responding) Alright…let's talk with Crabbe the first chance we get, okay? (Bart nods in reply. Meanwhile, on the beach, Neville, Harry and Hermione are lounging by the campfire.)
Neville: (sits up) Oi, are we just going to lie around like this all day?
Harry: Why not?
Neville: Come on guys, how about a game of football? I brought a ball as my luxury item.
Harry: (sits up) Well, I guess there's no point in sitting around and moping all day. (Neville goes to shelter to get his ball. Harry turns attention to Hermione) Besides, our position in this game is pretty stable.
Hermione: Definitely...I've got it all planned out…We vote off Crabbe next, then Bart, Neville and finally Lisa…leaving just the two of us.
Harry: Ummm…..that's a good plan Hermione, but perhaps we should switch the order a little bit.
Hermione: How so?
Harry: Well, we can vote Bart and Lisa off next, which should be no problem because Hogwarts outnumbers Simpsons 4 to 2 right now. Then, It will three Gryffindors against one Slytherin, so Crabbe would definitely be voted off next, and then we vote off Neville by a 2-1 vote, leaving just the two of us.
Hermione: (furrows her brows) Excuse me, but what happened to saving Lisa for last?
Harry: I know…I know you wanted Lisa to be the last one we voted off, but I think this is the best strategy.
Hermione: (shakes her head) I…I don't know, and quite frankly I don't care anymore. This game is completely barbaric! You meet all these new people, make new friends, and then you have to stab them in the back. (gets up and starts walking away)
Harry: Where are you going Hermione?
Hermione: (yells) I just need to be alone for a minute! (walks down the beach, obviously flustered. A few seconds later, Neville returns with his ball and is joined by Bart and Lisa.)
Lisa: What's wrong with Hermione?
Harry: It's nothing really. I think the pressure of the game is starting to get to her a little bit is all.
Bart: (looks at Neville's ball) How are we supposed to play football with that thing? It's too big and round.
Neville: Oh, I forgot that you all call our football soccer in the States.
Bart: Oh, gotcha
Neville: So, you guys up for a 2-on-2 friendly?
Bart and Lisa: Huh?
Neville: (sighs) Exhibition game!
Bart/Lisa: Ohhhhhh
(Harry, Bart, Lisa and Neville draw a makeshift soccer field in the sand and stick pieces of wood in the sandy beach for goals. The four of them then spend the rest of the day playing soccer, diverting their attention from the competition at hand.)
Lisa: I think it was a great idea by Neville to play a little friendly game of soccer. It really eased the tension in the camp and gave us all a chance to let loose and have some fun. However, tomorrow it's back to business with the reward challenge.
Day 32
(Crabbe walks over to the tree-mail, grabs the message in the box and returns to camp.)
Bart: So, what's on the menu today Crabbe my man?
Crabbe: Not entirely sure…the paper just reads "Climb to Get the Prize."
Lisa: (rolls her eyes) Well, you can eliminate me from contention from the get-go.
Reward Challenge
Brian: (looking around in the sand) Gosh, I could've sworn it was around here somewhere.
Harry: Uhhh….what are you looking for? (Brian looks up to see the six castaways already there, ready for the challenge)
Brian: Wow, you guys got here quick. If you must know, I was looking for a tennis ball I buried here a few days ago. It was like seriously the coolest tennis ball in the frickin planet. Just don't tell any other dogs about it as they might get jealous. (The castaways exchange confused looks.)
Hermione: Well, I hope you find it, but in the meantime, I believe there's a challenge to attend to.
Brian: Ah yes, today's reward challenge. Legend has it that within the forest of palm trees next to us are three golden coconuts hidden in the tops of the trees. For today's challenge, you must climb up the palm trees until you find one of the golden coconuts. The first person to retrieve a golden coconut and bring it back here will win the challenge and the opportunity to contact someone from home via cell phone. Any questions?
Neville: Is that really a legend or did your crew members just plant the coconuts in there?
Brian: Don't overthink this, okay? Just get the damn coconuts…NOW! (castaways don't move) That's your signal to go!
Lisa: but don't you usually say…
Brian: Just GO!
[This time, the castaways do take off for the palm trees, running a bit deeper into the woods before they begin climbing the trees. Lisa and Crabbe seem to struggle the most with the climbing and take much longer to climb the trees than the others. Meanwhile, Bart and Harry were searching the trees at a torrid pace. At roughly the same time, Bart and Harry arrived at the peaks of different trees and each found one of the golden coconuts. They grab the coconuts and descend the trees as quickly as possible to make a run to the finish line. However, Bart has the distinct advantage of his tree being slightly closer to the beach, so he ends up edging out Harry in a foot race and claiming the challenge. Tired, he simply pumps his arms up in the air jubilation before lying down on the beach for a rest.]
Brian: Congratulations, Bart! (takes cell phone out of pocket) Here is a cell phone for your one phone call…use it wisely!
(Bart takes a minute to contemplate how he will use his one phone call before he comes up with a brilliant idea.)
Bart: Hey guys, come over here! You're gonna love this! (other castaways as well as Brian make a circle around Bart as he dials a number. He puts the phone on speaker and lies it on the ground. After a few tones of the phone, a very familiar voice answers from the other end of the line.)
Moe: Yeah hello, Moe's Tavern, home of the world's smallest large-screen TV. How can I help ya?
Bart: (deepens his voice to disguise it) Yes, I'm looking for a Mrs. Kissandhug, first name Amanda.
Moe: Yeah, hold on let me check. Hey everybody, is Amanda Kissandhug here? Hey everybody, I want Amanda Kissanhug! Oh, why can't I get Amanda Kissandhug? (sounds of laughter can be heard from the other end of the line as well as from the castaways. Then, there is another familiar voice heard on the phone)
Homer: Maybe your standards are too high Moe!
(More laughter from both sides, followed by the sound of an angry grunt and then silence as Moe hangs up. Laughter continues amongst the castaways for a few moments before they regain their compsure and begin to head back to camp.)
Brian: Well, certainly not my first choice of whom I would call, but thanks for the laugh Bart. I'll see you all tomorrow for the immunity challenge.
Bart: That was so…totally…worth it!
Day 32
(After the challenge, Bart and Crabbe are out by the shore fishing for dinner.)
Bart: So Crabbe…how do you feel about your position in the game right now?
Crabbe: (looks over at Bart) To be honest, it's probably not very good.
Bart: How would you like to make it better?
Crabbe: (drops fishing pole) I'm interested.
Bart: My sister and I are planning to vote off Harry at the next tribal council, assuming he doesn't win immunity tomorrow of course.
Crabbe: (skeptical) If I join your alliance, what's in it for me?
Bart: Guaranteed safe passage to the final four, and a much better chance of winning it all.
Crabbe: How so?
Bart: Think about it…Since Hogwarts students outnumbered Simpsons tribe members 4 to 2, Harry and Hermione are likely to try to vote Lisa and I off next so the final four would be all Hogwarts tribe members. However, since your three classmates are all Gryffindor, I think it's pretty obvious who would get voted off first out of the four of you.
Crabbe: (nods head) Makes sense to me…but what happens once we get to the final four? Are you just going to dump me?
Bart: Let's just worry about the next vote, okay? Once we get to the final four, it's every person for himself or herself.
(Bart and Crabbe resume fishing and manage to catch a few fish before the sun sets.)
Day 33: Immunity Challenge
Brian: (digging in dirt and grabs tennis ball) Ah-ha…finally found it!
Cameraman: Brian?
Brian: (looks at camera and puts tennis ball in pocket) With another tribal council tonight, it is shaping up to be another Bart vs. Harry showdown unless one of the two wins immunity today or if someone decides to pull a Nelson Muntz to bail them out. Also, unlike the last immunity challenge, this one is actually somewhat Survivor-esque. What could it be? Let's bring out the survivors.
(The six remaining castaways join Brian by the shore of the Nile.)
Brian: Sphinx Tribe, today's challenge will be a test of your endurance and balance. (points out the Nile) Out there in the river we have set up a small wooden balance beam that is just big enough for the six of you. The rules are simple: Whoever stays on the balance beam the longest wins immunity and is safe from tonight's vote, assuming you don't pull a Nelson Muntz of course. (silence except for cricket noises in background)
Cameraman: It wasn't funny the first time Brian, so what made you think it would be funny the second time?
Brian: (points at camera) Okay, you are so not being my camera guy for next season.
Neville: Next season?
Brian: D'oh! I wasn't supposed to mention this until the end of the final episode, but yes I will be hosting a second season of Survivor.
Hermione: Does that mean we have to do this all over again?
Brian: Don't worry…it will be 16 different people next season.
Hermione: Thank bloody Merlin.
Brian: Okay, I think we've gotten a little bit off topic, so why don't you guys just swim on out to the balance beam so we can get this challenge over with, okay?
(The six castaways swim out to the balance beam in the Nile River and stand on it to get ready for the challenge.)
Brian (still on shore): Okay, SURVIVORS READY….GO!
[For about thirty minutes, all six survivors stay on the platform until Crabbe loses his balance and is the first to fall in the water. Neville joins Crabbe on the sidelines a few minutes later, leaving Harry, Hermione, Bart and Lisa as the last four left. Bart and Lisa have an easier time staying on the balance beam with their shorter height and lower center of gravity. An hour and a half into the challenge, Hermione slips into the water, leaving Harry as the last Hogwarts representative in the competition. While the last three continues to balance, the eliminated members of the Sphinx Tribe discuss the impending tribal council.]
Neville: So, we're all voting for Bart, right?
(Hermione says nothing, but nods in acknowledgement.)
Crabbe: Oh yes….yes, of course. (Neville raises an eyebrow at Crabbe's hesitation.)
[Back on the balance beam, Bart, Harry and Lisa are intently focused on staying on the platform. Suddenly, at the two hour mark, Bart loses his focus for just a split second, but it was long enough to lose his balance and fall in the water. Bart splashes in the water furiously in frustration, knowing that he may have just sealed his fate. He then swims back to shore.]
Bart: (upon arriving at beach) GO LIS! You got this baby sis!
[Lisa hears his brother's words of encouragement, but doesn't acknowledge as she keeps her mind on the task at hand: staying on the balance beam longer than Harry. Another half an hour later, Harry's footing becomes a little unsteady while Lisa remains solidly in place. Realizing the he probably won't beat Lisa, Harry decides to talk her into falling off the platform.]
Harry: Lisa, you know I'm danger of getting voted off, right? (Lisa nods) So, I was thinking…if you fall off the platform now, I would be safe and we could keep our alliance intact since you and Hermione are not in danger of getting voted off. You catch my drift?
Lisa: (maintaining a look of focus and determination) I can't do it Harry. No alliance is as important right now as that immunity necklace. So, if you want to be safe from tonight's vote, you're going to have to go through me hotshot.
Harry: (sighs) Well, it was worth a shot. [Harry has a look of resignation on his face just before his left foot slips off the platform. Harry falls into the water with an emphatic splash, ending the challenge and giving the victory to Lisa. Harry swims back to shore and Lisa soon follows after a triumphant jump off the platform.]
Brian: Congratulations, Lisa! Here is the immunity necklace, you are safe from tonight's tribal council! (Lisa puts the necklace around her neck and then gets a hug from her big brother Bart. Lisa hugs him back and kisses him on the cheek.)
Back at Sphinx Tribe Camp
(Bart and Lisa are hanging out at the spring gathering fresh water and talking about the immunity challenge.)
Bart: You were crazy good today Lis! It was almost as if you were super glued to the board!
Lisa: (laughs) Thanks Bart. You weren't too bad yourself. Although, I don't think I ever apologized for all the fighting we did in the first half of this game.
Bart: You did Lis, but you didn't have to. Sure, we were in tribes to start with, and everyone is in the same tribe now, but this is ultimately an every man, or woman, for himself competition.
Lisa: Speaking of every person for himself or herself, don't expect to do what Nelson did at last tribal council. You may be my brother, but there is no way I'm letting go of this. (points at immunity necklace around her neck.)
Bart: (nods) Do what you got to do Lis.
Tribal Council
(The six castaways enter the hut via the front entrance. Brian is already in his seat waiting for them.)
Brian: Before we start, let's bring in the five members of our jury. (Ron, Homer, Draco, Moe and Nelson enter the hut through the side door and take their seats beside Brian.) A few questions before we commence with the voting. Hermione, over the past few days you have grown weary of voting people off that you have befriended during your time here in Egypt. Do you feel that your enthusiasm and desire to win this game has waned or are you still in it to win it?
Hermione: Good question Brian. I consider myself to be a very honest and straightforward person, but when it comes to this game, honesty is not really the best policy. Consequently, I've had to do things, such as secret meetings or talking behind people's backs, that I normally don't do unless it is absolutely necessary. In this instance, it is necessary to be a little deceitful, but I certainly don't enjoy doing it. With that being said, I am still as bound and determined to win that million dollars as everyone else who is still in the game.
Brian: Next question is for Bart. This isn't really Survivor-related, per say, but I've been dying to know…how many licks does it take to get the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
Bart: (confused) Uhhh…I'm not sure. I think I did it in 18 licks once.
Brian: Alright, 18 licks it is then. Lastly, this question is for Lisa. You have the immunity necklace around your neck, would you like to pull a Nelson Muntz and give it to someone else?
Nelson: Okay, can you just get off my back about that please?
Brian: Nope, I'm going to keep saying "pull a Nelson Muntz" until the phrase sticks.
Nelson: (glares at Brian and shakes fist) You won't be able to say it with a knuckle sandwich down your throat.
Brian: (laughs nervously) Lisa, your response?
Lisa: A definite no.
Brian: Okay then, why don't you lead off the voting for us Lisa before Nelson tears me a new one.
[Lisa walks up to the voting booth, grabs a piece of paper, and writes down her vote for HARRY.]
I hate to break up a cute couple like Harry and Hermione, even if it's only for a few days. However, Bart is in danger of getting eliminated, and blood is thicker than water. It's been great getting to know you here in Egypt Harry and I hope we can stay in touch. [puts vote in bucket and returns to seat.]
[Shot of Neville Voting, then Crabbe Voting, then Harry shows his vote to the camera: BART.] I'm sticking with the plan. You've been a great competitor Bart, but it's time for you to leave.
[Shot of Bart voting, then Hermione casts her vote and puts it in the bucket without showing to the camera.] She returns to her seat and Brian goes to tally the votes and returns with the bucket.
Brian: As always, the person who is voted off must leave immediately and will become part of the jury. I will now read the votes. (opens the bucket and pulls out a piece of paper.) First vote is for…Bart…next vote…Harry…next, another vote for Harry….fourth vote…Bart…two for Bart, two for Harry….fifth vote is for…Hermione? (Hermione has a puzzled look on her face)…well, it has come down to the last vote…and that final vote is for…Harry! I'm going to need your torch buddy. (Harry, unpleasantly surprised by the result, takes a few seconds to get up. He kisses Hermione lovingly on the lips before grabbing his things and his torch. He gets a round of applause from the remaining castaways as well as the jury, with the exception of Malfoy, as he gives Brian his torch.)
Brian: Harry Potter, the tribe has spoken. (extinguishes Harry's torch) It's time for you to go. (Harry leaves silently through a side door and is soon followed by the jury.) Well, this has no doubt been a very important tribal council. One of the top dogs is out of the game and someone who wasn't expected to be in jeopardy of elimination got a vote. The five of you may now head back to camp. (The final five castaways grab their torches and head back to the Sphinx Tribe camp.)
END OF EPISODE ELEVEN
Confessional
Harry: I saw this coming as soon as I lost the immunity challenge to Lisa, but even so it's still a shock to the system. I felt like I played the game to the best of my ability, forming alliances, winning challenges, and always helping out around camp. Nonetheless, I still came up a little bit short. Hermione, I love you with all my heart and I hope you are not too saddened by my elimination. I wish the five remaining castaways the best of luck in the final six days of this competition. That's all I've got to say I guess, so if you excuse me, I have a wand to reclaim. (leaves confessional booth)
Tribal Council #11 Voting
Now for the answer to the burning question of the episode: Who voted for Hermione?
Candidate (# of Votes)
Harry (3)
Bart
Lisa
Crabbe
Bart (2)
Harry
Hermione
Hermione (1)
Neville