Anko Plus Gennin Equals: Pure Chaos! Chapter 2: The Fanboys of Team Four, a naruto fanfic

Shashuko: w00t! chappy two!

Sasuke: sarcastic greeeeat, just what we need.

Shashuko: Well, This chapter is solely dedicated to the torture and estrangement of my dear friend kuro-chan. even though I haven't tortured kon-chan nearly enough. but i have many, many evil plans for this... kukuku.

Sasuke: Please don't laugh like that. It makes my brain hurt.

Shashuko: blows rasberry fine then. by the way, I don't own naruto...

Naruto: But she has an Akatsuki cloak. DEIDARA'S BACK FROM THE DEAD!

Shashuko: Stfu. I don't look that much like him. blonde hair is parted to the side and loves explosions

Sasuke, Naruto: Yes you do.

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Kiiro, Kuroppi, Kon, and Fuyu stood in Training Ground Five, the two non-blonde girls yawning sleepily.

"Where's Anko-sensei?" Kon asked no one in particular. "She's three hourse late!"

"She's probably hung-over from last night!" Kiiro said jokingly. "She had, like, five extra-large bottles of sake! Serves her right."

Kuroppi and Fuyu nodded in unison.

"Yo!" came a voice from behind them. "Anko-san is hung over so I'm going to be taking over for today!"

"Then why are you so LATE?" Kuroppi yelled.

A silver-haired man walked towards them, one eye closed happily and the other covered (making him techinically blind O.O) "Well, I was going to come earlier, but I as held up by a previous student of mine, who yelled at me for two hours because I was already late. Then I got lost and had to ask Iruka for directions, but he didn't know where we were either. So, we tried to find ourselves together-"

"That sounds wrong," Kiiro interrupted.

"Shut up. Anyway--"

"I don't care why you're late, but can we get to work?" Kiiro interrupted again. "I want to get to work!!!"

"Don't get your hopes up," Kon drawled. "We'll get sucky missions for a long time."

"I know that! Kiba told me too," Kiiro said. "But I don't think we're really gonna be scribbing sewer walls, are we?"

"If we're lucky," Kakashi said cheerfully, opening his eyes for the first time. "SASUKE!!! You're back?"

"NO. I'm. Not. Sasuke." Kuroppi said from the back of her throat. "I'm. Not. Even. An. Uchiha."

"She's Inuzuka Kuroppi! And her big brother is Kibaka, not Uchitachi. Who in non-Kiiro-speak are Inuzuka Kiba and Uchiha Itachi," Kiiro added. "The dog is Fuyu and it's hers."

"Oh. Then why don't you have the Inuzuka fangs on your face?" the man asked curiously.

"I was adopted," Kuroppi said with finality, clearly not wanting to talk about it.

"So, maybe you ARE an Uchiha. You could be Sasuke's twin for all we know!" Kiiro crowed.

"Shut. Up." Kuroppi muttered. 'First, Anko is late. Then, THIS idiot shows up. Can this day get any worse?'

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"Phew," Kiiro said, "That's the last of 'em." she put the chicken she was holding into the coop.

"What I don't get is why people can't just catch their chickens themselves," Kon sighed, shaking her head.

"Maybe they're lazy," suggested Kiiro.

"More likely they've done it before and are sick and tied of catching them," decided Kuroppi, sitting down on a log. Fuyu came up to her and asked her something in dog language. It sounded like this: pant pant "Arf-arf-BARK-arf?" followed by the pleased sicking out of Fuyu's tongue and a doggy grin.

"No, Fuyu, you can't eat one," Kuroppi sighed. "They're not our chickens."

Fuyu whined.

"Whenever I reach my hands out to the chickens, they get scared," Kiiro giggled. "What do they think I'm gonna do, blow 'em up?"

"You can never tell with chickens," Kakashi said lazily, turning the page of his novel.

"HOLY CRAP!!! You're reading Icha Icha Paradise?!?" Kiiro yelled.

"Yes, I am. Is that a problem?"

"Are you TRYING to disrupt our innocence? We're just kids, and I don't know about the other two, but I'M very impressionable. What if just because you do, we all start reading those books? That'd be BAD!" said Kiiro self-righteously.

"Very bad indeed," said a voice from the trees.

"Who's there? Another pervert?" Kiiro yelled.

"No!" a green blur flew out of the tree and faced Kakashi, and then said, "by reading those books in front of students, even ones that aren't your own, you are DISRUPTING THEIR YOUTH! HOW CAN YOU?!?"

The man was wearing a green jumpsuit with orange leg warmers, sporting a black bowl cut and Huge Eyebrows.

"Kakashi, I know you are my eternal rival, but this is too much! I challenge you to... a PIE-EATING contest! Because we haven't done that yet and my mother dumped a bunch of pies on me the other day!"

"I guessed you might live with your mother," Kuroppi said, causing her team mates to start laughing.

"A pie-eating contest, huh? Sound interesting..." Kakashi looked up thoughtfully. "Hmm..."

"PIE! Oh! Oh! Can I compete too?" Kiiro asked enthusiastically. "That sounds like a worthwhile competition!"

"Who are you, oh enthusiastic youth?" questioned the bowl-cutted man.

"My name's Warai Kiiro!" she said hyperishly, slightly scaring Kakashi.

"Warai?" the strange and most likely gay man in the jumpsuit stared at her. "Are you sure...?"

"Yup! My Mama was Warai Mamoka, the Frypan Princess! Yup, Warai, that's-my-last-name-don't-wea-it-out!" she grinned hugely (read: creepily). "Kiiro sounds much cuter!"

"... I'm Konoha's beautiful green beast, Maito Gai! I think I like you, Kiiro-san. You are very youthful!"

Kiiro used her biggest, creepiest smile. "Why aren't you scared? Usually when I grin at people this much they stares and walk away, very slowly. Shoud I be creepier?"

"No, Kiiro, you'll give him a heart attack," teased Kuroppi. "Arf!" Fuyu added.

"No, Youthful Kiiro-san, I don't find you creepy in the slightest! In fact, I find your enthusiasm very refreshing, like that of my student, Rock Lee's!"

"You mean my neighbor, your Mini-me?" Kon asked, sweatdropping. "I can see why you would like him..."

"Let me guess. He's worse?" Kiiro asked, pointing a Gai. "Then this guy?"

"No, he's exactly the same," Kon said. "Who wouldn't like a person exactly like themself?"

"Well, kids, Anko is probably over her hangover by now, so I'm done. Ja! I'm going to go read Icha Icha some more." Kakashi's image blurred out and dissappeared.

"HEY! He just left three minors all alone without adult supervision..." Kiiro yelled. She stuck out her tongue at the spt where Kakashi had been standing a minute before. "Stupid Hatakashi!"

"Let me guess: you don't know your way home." Kuroppi smirked.

"Well... yes," Kiiro admitted sheepishly, then laughed half-heartedly, "Ha ha! I'm such an idiot..."

"Yes, you are," Kuroppi said darkly.

"Thank you!" Kiiro replied cheerily. There was a rustling in the bushes behind them.

Kon sighed. "Kuroppi, they found you."

Kuroppi turned around veeery slowly to face... a huge group of boys.

"What?" she asked, clearly more than a little annoyed.

"Kuro-sama!" They all yelled. "Were were you?!? We were all so worried!!!"

"I was on missions with my Gennin Team. What else?"

"Wow, fan people sure are stupid," Kiiro noted (Kiiro thinks they're stupid. Kiiro. And we all know how stupid Kiiro is by now, right? that makes fan people very, very stupid).

"WE MISSED YOU!!!" the huge group of fanboys charged for Kuroppi.

"RUN!!!!!" Kiiro shouted. The three new kunoichi, and Fuyu, ran as if their lives depended on it (which they did).

'I I thought my day couldn't get any worse,' Kuroppi thought.

Team Gai was walking along the dirt road when a mob of young men about their age ran past them, chasing a swearing Inuzuka Kuroppi, a madly grinning and gasping in laughter Warai Kiiro, and an annoyed Hebitsukai Kon.

Neji stared at the army of fanboys for the five minutes it took for all of them to pass, then gasped.

"They left without me?!?" he whizzed after them.

"Go Neji go! Fight for your youthful love!" Gai and Lee yelled at the same time.

"I'm surrounded by idiots..." Tenten moaned.

Soon, the fanboys had one Hyuuga Neji at their head, Byakugan activated.

Now that Neji had joined the mob, they ran with much more vigor.

"I think they're gaining on us!" Kiiro screamed, no longer having any fun.

A brown blur whizzed between the fanboys and Anko's gennnin. A white blur followed him soon after.

"DON'T... TOUCH... MY... SISTER!!!" Kiba yelled, giving off a killer intent to rivel Uchiha Sasuke's, if Uchiha Sasuke was tied on a log next to Uchiha Itachi with his arms, legs, and any other part of the body that can be used as a weapon (i.e. tongue) were all paralyzed, and had both his sharingan and curse mark activated, with the song 'Pop Goes The Weasel' playing very shrilly in the background (lol bet sasuke loves that song!).

In other words, he was royally pissed.

Neji stopped running to stare at Kiba. "And if I do?" He calmly walked past Kiba and to Kuroppi, who was frozen in the spot.

"Hello, Kuro-sama," he said in a flirty voice.

"Hi, Kibaka!" Kiiro addressed Kiba. "And I still have a hard time believing THE Hyuuga Neji is a fanboy."

"Yeah. Aren't you supposed to have a stick up your ass?" Kuroppi asked.

"I am," Neji said. "Care to remove it?"

"EWW!" Kuroppi, Kon, and Kiiro ran for it--- again. The fanboys followed them, trampling Kiba as they went.

"Escape Plan 27-A!" Kuroppi shouted. The others nodded.

"HENGE (Transform)!" Kon and Kiiro yelled, transforming into Kuroppi (both with a fake Fuyu).

All three girls jumped side to side, overlapping, so the fanboys couldn't tell which was which.

After thirty seconds of hopping around, they turned to face the crowd.

"Which one is real?" challenged Kiiro-Kuroppi.

"Can you tell?" Kon-Kuroppi added.

"Because someone one who truly liked Kuroppi..." said Kuroppi.

"WOULD KNOW!" all three Kuroppi's yelled. Then, they split off in different directions.

Kiiro ran for the library. Running as fast as she could, jumping from roof to roof.

"Kuro-sama! WAIT UP!"

"Oh, great," Kiiro muttered to herself. "I got Hyuuji-sempai. WHY SHOULD I WAIT FOR YOU!"

"You know you like me," Neji said smirking. "We were fated to be together."

"WHERE in all HELL do you come up with that CRAP?" Kiiro screamed back. 'Wow, he really thinks I'm Kuro-chan,' she thought.

"Ah-ha! Kuroppi doesn't say crap, she says s! Warai Kiiro."

'Okay, so he knows her better than I give credit. How much of his time does he spend stalking her, anyway?' Kiiro undid her henge.

"NO, Hyuuji, Kuro-chan says crap sometimes too! Ne, you think so lowly of her! Why are you chasing her around?"

"It is fate," said Neji simply.

"Wow, Hyuuji, you're such an idiot." Kiiro pulled out a little red book and flipped throught the pages. She giggled evilly. "Okay Hyuuji, what's your birthday?"

"Why should I tell you? AND STOP CALLING ME HYUUJI!"

"If you tell me, I won't call you Hyuuji for the rest of the next two days. And I'll know if you lied, because I know where Team 8 trains and I can ask Hinachan-sempai. You have been warned."

"... Fine. April 16th." Neji muttered.

Kiiro flipped through the pages. "Okay... Lessee... Ah-ha! April 16th. You are strong, diligent, hardworking, and succeed in all you do. However, you let those igher than you control every aspect of your life and spend too much time hating them to do anything about it. Also, you depend on fate too much, which is why you're reading this book anyway."

"WHAT? I DO NOT!!! THAT BOOK IS BOGUS!" Neji roared.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU FELL FOR IT! Actually, it says: You are ambitious and plan many things, most of which you carry out. You are energetic and enthusiastic, and though you graciously listen to others advice or critisism, you pursue your own course.You are loving and will have a happy home life. HA!"

"Are you sure?" Neji asked suspiciously.

"Yes, that's what it says. This thing ain't one hundred percent accurate, though. I don't know about the loving part. I mean, you're so mean to your poor cousin! Is it her fault? Are your problems her fault? No one picks where they're born or or who raises them. Nor do they pick their childhood or even clan status. It all just... happens. I suppose you'd call it fate. Which, I admit, is a really interesting way of thinking. But still, be nicer to Hinachan-sempai. S'not her fault, Hyuu-- Neji." Kiiro caught herslef in time.

"... I'll think about it." Neji lied. Fate was cruel to him for putting him into this situation.

"You're listening to my critisism, but you're choosing to go your own path, aren't you?" Kiiro teased, waving her little book around.

"... SHUT UP. Where's Kuro-sama?"

"I have no idea. I'll probably see her tomorrow."

"Where does she live?" Neji asked quickly.

"Should I tell him? Nah, I think I'll leave him to his own deivces now," Kiiro muttered to herself. "Besides, if he hasn't figured out where she lives by now, then he really is an idiot." she skipped away, singing something, leaving Hyuuga Neji annoyed and humiliated.

Kuroppi ran and ran and ran, obviously the most scared of the fanboys, being the real 'Kuro-sama.'

"Phew... I think they're gone. But where the hell am I?" she looked around. She was in a perpetual ghost town. Lanterns were slashed and the doors were covered in old bloodstains. Kuroppi could swear she saw human bones poking out of the dirt in a couple places, as well.

"Sasuke," said a voice behind her. "You're still not strong enough."

Kuroppi whirled around to face a tall man in a black cloak with red clous on it. He poked her forehead.

"I'm. NOT. Sasuke," Kuroppi said in low, manecing tones.

"Sure you aren't," The man drawled. "Why haven't you tried to kill me yet? Foolish little brother."

"I'm not your brother. I'm not even an Uchiha!" Kuroppi yelled, Fuyu growling. "Also, I'm a girl!"

"Sasuke," the man gasped, "You got that operation to run away from me? I'm shocked."

"NO! I'm Inuzuka Kuroppi and I've only met Sasuke once in my entire life!"

"Really?" asked the man disbelievingly. "So, you met him... once. What happened?"

"I bumped into him, and he told me to go away. He also asked me why I don;t have face markings like the rest of the Inuzuka clan," Kuroppi growled. "What of it?"

"Sure... Sasuke." the man smirked.

"NOT SASUKE!" Kuroppi yelled again.

"Because we know people who aren't Sasuke come the Uchiha complex often," scoffed another man who appeared behind the first. "Right?"

"Who are you? What's going on?" Kuroppi yelled.

"I think they brainwashed you, Sasuke, and then turned you into a girl," the first man said decidedly. "Well then... if you're not going to try to kill me, I'll leave. Farewell, foolish little brother. We will cross paths again."

"I'm NOT Sasuke!" Kuroppi yelled after the retreating figures.

"That guy said I'm in the Uchiha complex... that's useful. I know how to get home now." Kuroppi started walking home. "Who was he, anyway? He looked like a weasel," she said to herself.

Just then, Kiiro came running from behind a building. "WHAT THE HELL?!? That was a freaking S-CLASSED CRIMINAL!!!"

Then, she started laughing.

Kon gasped for air. She has stopped in the park, fanboys still on her tail. 'I think this is far enough,' she thought.

"The jig is up," she panted, turning back into herself with a poof of smoke. "Go home already!"

"YOU'RE NOT KURO-SAMA!" yelled the fanboys.

"Umm... yeah, duh." Kon sweatdropped.

"WE MUST FIND KURO-SAMA!" the fanboys yelled. They ran in the direction they had come, screaming Kuroppi's name. Kon watched as they faded into the distance, the proclaimiations of love for the Sasuke-look-alike slowly muting.

"Is it safe?" whispered a voice in a tree above Kon.

"It's safe," Kon said. "Relatively."

Kuroppi jumped out of the tree, followed by Kiiro.

"You wouldn't believe what part of town Kuro-chan just stumbled into," Kiiro snickered.

"Huh?" Kon asked.

"Guess! And no, it's not the red lioght district." Kiiro giggled.

"Kiiro, you perv." Kuroppi scoffed.

"I'm not a perv! You went there by accident once, remember? When we had just started at the academy."

"I was scarred for life," Kuropppi said in hushed whispers. All three girls giggled.

"Anyway, Kuroppi, running from the fangirls, of course stumbles into the UCHIHA DISTRICT!" Kiiro cracked up and began her usualy hyena laughter routine. "And-- get this! She runs straight into Uchiha Itachi, who thinks she's Sasuke! His own brother! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Fuyu grinned a wolfy grin and made dog-ish chuckling noises. "Arf-arf-arf-grrr," she told Kuroppi, which roughly translates to: "She has a point there." Kuroppi's dog made more laughter-sounding sounds.

"From what I hear, his eyes are failing. That doesn't prove anything," Kuroppi said, fighting a losing battle.

"You wouldn't know that if Hatakashi hadn't told you that when we told him what happened."

"Why did we tell him again?" Kuroppi said. "We barely know him!"

"Because the only other person near the area was a boy who looked like Gai in chibi form. Damn! Can't think of a good nickname for that jumpsuit jockey. No, wait! Maito Gai. Might Guy. Mighty Guy!" Kiiro cackled, enjoying the sheer joy creating the second nickname for the day. Then, she sighed. "Nah... not good enough. Man! His name sucks so much that I can't do anythign to it! Hnn... well, guess I'll have to splurge his first and last names together, then. Maito Gai. Mai? Gaito? Hnn... yeah. Gaito! That'll work." Kiiro nodded, smirking triumphantly.

"You have far too much spare time on your hands," Kuroppi grumbled.

"I know," Kiiro answered cheekily. "Oh! I bet Anko-sensei's over her hangover now!"

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Team 4 were all sitting in a dango shop, munching on dango (Akimichi Chouji, who was across the way, stared at the speed with which Kiiro ate in envy).

"This stuff gets better every time I try it!" Kiiro said happily.

"You and your dango obsession," Kuroppi sighed, shaking her head.

"What's wrong with dango?!?" Kiiro and Anko yelled. Kuroppi just stared.

"Nothing's wrong with dango," she said exasperatedly. "I really like it myself. But Kiiro, you've been having dango for breakfast for the past three years. Don't you think you should try something else for a change?"

"I suppose you have a point..." Kiiro sighed. "Well... I'll try other places then."

"Good. Because this constant talk of dango is making me sick."

"I'll go on a food journey!" Kiiro said excitedly. "I'll search that section of town I don't know where anything is and find some good food there!" she cheered.

"Why do I know this will end badly?" Kon sighed.

Shashuko: Yay! I got stuck a couple times here... next time, we'll have our first REAL mission! No more of this wishywashy D ranked crap.

Kuroppi: You're going to copy the Wave Arc, aren't you.

Shashuko: No! But I'm using Haku-chan.

Kon: Yeah, she's copying the Wave Arc.