Squall's POV:

So after dinner I have Seifer looking at me every now and then like… I don't know… I don't understand his kind. Gods this was getting annoying. After a while, I started staring at him. His eyes were so… Ugh I said to myself. Stop staring I know I'm gay and all but my taste hasn't diminished to a point where I'd find Seifer Almasy even REMOTELY attractive. He isn't all that like he seems to think he is.

I realised that my thoughts would have been blatantly obvious to either Cloud or Selphie and not surprisingly, when I looked up, Selphie was looking at me, her head tilted to one side with an eyebrow raised and a small, knowing smile. Clouds expression was harder to read though still told me he could see what was going on. I blushed ever so slightly and cursed it under my breath.

Seifer had looked away, almost determinedly avoiding my gaze which suited me fine. Cloud and Selphie did not press matters thankfully and we stayed there, listening to music for a further hour before Selphie jumped up and I took her queue that it was time to leave. Cloud walked us to the door and Selphie gave him her usual bear hug though I only extended my hand.

He smiled and threw an arm around my shoulder anyway. Seifer and Quistis were still in the dinning room so there was no way they'd have seen. As my cousin hugged me, I found the annoyance which had haunted me all evening (due to the presence of two certain blondes) leave me, replaced by a slight happiness. The smile on his face reassuring as Selphie and I took our leave, entered Selphie's car and drove back home.

The drive back, Selphie was humming a tune I'd recognised as one that had played during dinner, and I afforded myself a chuckle. She pulled up outside my house – a gesture I thought slightly pointless since she lived next door to me anyway – hugged me and then said goodnight. Waving to her once more, I strolled up the path to my front door.

Knocking softly, my mother called out, "coming" and soon enough, the door opened, light pooling out and my mother smiled at the sight of me. "Have fun dear?" she asked. I smile and nodded but said I was fairly tired. "Oh I understand, after all, you did have a busy evening and besides, you've got school early". This was why I loved my mother, she was always so understanding about anything I did and always tried to support me.

That was the reason why I never told her when something was really worrying me. She knew when something was wrong of course though I never elaborated too much. The last thing I wanted her to know was that I'd tried suicide on more than one occasion and that her only child was a complete basket case.

Following her advice, I bid her goodnight and headed upstairs to my room. As the door clicked shut behind me, I took off my shirt and began preparing for bed. I lay awake for several hours that night which was strange. Normally I was a good sleeper – it was Cloud who wasn't – yet this evening I was having difficulty. Today had been pretty bad I kept thinking and when I thought of the Almasy's being at Cloud's house made my stomach knot itself.

"Cloud's allowed to have other friends, whether you approve of them or not" the logical side of my brain was trying to tell me however the illogical part (which was the one I chose to listen to since it agreed with my frustrations even though they weren't justified) kept telling me that Cloud had been a jerk for not telling me that they'd be there.

I kept remembering little things throughout the night…little details which supported the arguments for the voices in my head though in the end, I wasn't sure which side had come out on top. I must have fallen asleep during my internal debate. I was having a rather weird dream as well come to think of it.

I remembered the trip that Selphie, Cloud and I had taken to the beach last year. I was standing near a cliff and I saw Selphie ahead of me – just like in the drawing I had done this morning – her eyes focused on something which was lost to the horizon. I watched as she wandered dangerously on the edge of the cliff and heard her laughing. She turned her head as if to look at me…

As her head turned, golden blonde hair replaced Selphie's brown and her peridot eyes were replaced by emerald. Seifer had taken Selphie's place. The smile on his face had set my heart racing and butterflies were once more swooping inside my stomach. He was wearing a white hooded jacket, with the sleeves rolled up above the elbow, the jacket was open and the sun was reflecting of the smooth muscles of his stomach and chest in an almost hauntingly beautiful manner.

He smiled at me then, a smile which would have melted the heart of almost anyone. Indeed I could feel myself responding as he waved and spread his arms affectionately, taking the few steps required to close the distance between us. Without thinking, I opened my own arms and drew them around him though they closed on thin air.

I turned and saw something which filled me with ice. Seifer was embracing Cloud. When Seifer tilted his head to give Cloud a kiss my stomach bottomed out, and my head along with it. Somewhere above me, I heard an anguished cry as the dream / nightmare faded.

My swift return to reality revealed two things to me. Firstly was that the anguished cries which had stirred me from that dream were issuing from my own mouth. Secondly, I was hard.