Shashuko: WHEE! FUN CHAPTER... OUJI-SAMA STARS!
Kon: (sarcastically) greeeaaaat... Thankfully, Shashuko does not own Naruto...
Kuroppi: But Sasuke---
Naruto: NEITHER DOES SASUKE! Stop doing that.
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Kabuto smirked as the four Konoha ninja (plus Haku and Aki, who are, in fact, Mist-nin) followed him. 'Almost there...'
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Banshou and Honemashi ran. They knew where Aki was. They always knew.
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'Right here!' Kabuto skidded to a stop. "You're trapped," he stated, smirking nerd-ishly (NERD! NERD! KABUTO'S A NERD! AHAHAHA- okay I'm done).
"But there's one of him, and like seven of us," Kiiro said, furrowing her brow. "I don't get it."
"This person is not to be underestimated," Aki growled. "If you do, you will regret it."
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Unlike some demons, the Hokou had a nice cage. It was pretty big and she cleaned it regularly, so there wasn't water everywhere or anythiing (wouldn't that be GROSS?).
Aki appeared. "We ran into Kabuto," she said through gritted teeth.
"...And you want the power to kill him?"
Aki sweatdropped. "Yes, actually."
"If I lend you enough power, you'll go into a rage. Last time, you did and it still wasn't enough. Not to mention you don't want Haku or those others to die."
Unlike some avengers, Aki listened to reason, sighed, and nodded. "Just enough to not get killed yet, then."
"Done."
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Kiiro glared at Kabuto. "What's with the hair?" she finally asked.
Kabuto glared at Kiiro. "What about my hair? You can't make fun of its length when your friend there had longer hair than mine."
"Technically, I can, because insults don't listen to logic. Neee... that's not what I meant anyway. Your hair is so DAMAGED! Do you ever use shampoo?"
Kabuto looked down, angrily. "I don't want to talk about it."
Anko smirked. "Let me guess-- Orochimaru stole all the conditioner for that longish mane of his?"
"Yes. WAIT! How do you know that?"
"Anko-sensei was trained by Orochimaru-san. Right?" Kiiro asked.
Anko looked away. "Yes...he used and left me for dead."
"That's so sad! Can I hug you?" Kiiro asked.
"I don't need your pity," Anko said coldly.
"Sensei is so mean..." the blonde idiot whined.
Kon sweatdropped. "Shouldn't we focus on what's going on? Like who is that guy and why did he steal the formula?"
Kabuto smirked. "This formula? That's easy." He took the formula and threw it on the ground. Kiiro gasped (remember, her uncle helped make that formula).
"I stole the formula to get YOU!" he lunged at Kon and grabbed her around the waist, then started running again.
"Let me go!" she yelled, trying to punch him. He only gripped her tighter as she continued to struggle. Eventually, she bit on the arm, thinking it was worth a shot.
She was NOT, however, expecting Kabuto to fall over, gripping his arm as if in pain.
"What the HELL?" she asked herself.
Kabuto started to shake. "You knew!" he gasped.
Kon glared at him, taking the formula back. "Knew what?"
He laughed halfheartedly. "Apparently not. This!" pulling back his sleeve, Kabuto showed them a mark appearing on his arm. It looked like a bird.
Kon's eyes widened. "What is that?"
"A curse mark. Something Orochimaru does to small children when he's feeling particularly sadistic," Anko said. "While able to grant a person power, they can also be very painful if the giver of the--" Anko gasped and gripped her neck.
"Thank you for the introduction, Anko-chan," came a belittling voice from the trees and someone stepped out, "But I'll take it from here."
Anko glared at the person. "Orochimaru."
Orochimaru grinned in a snakelike manner. "Surprised to see me?" he turned to face Kon. "Hmm... you seem to have grown up well. Has my former student taken good care of you?"
"What's going on?" Kon asked, reaching for her senbon pouch.
"You don't remember me?" Orochimaru asked, in false-offended tones. "I'm surprised at you, Kon-chan! After all..." he leaned in to speak in Kon's ear. "I am you."
"W-what?!?" yelled Kuroppi.
"If Ouji-sama is Orochimaru, then how is she a girl?" Kiiro asked herself. "Oh! I get it! Orochimaru just poses as a guy!"
"I am not female, thank you very much," Orochimaru said, suddenly behind Kiiro. "When I created Kon-chan, my cells didn't completely replicate correctly. As you can see, she has two 'X' chromosomes instead of just one with a 'Y' added. Also, my personality changed slightly in her."
"WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON?!?" Kon yelled.
"To put it frankly, Kon-chan..." Orochimaru thought for a moment. "I am your father!"
"That's impossible! Noooooo!" Kiiro said, halfway between laughter and shock at the fact that Orochimaru had just quoted Star Wars. Orochimaru.
Kuroppi rolled her eyes. "Kiiro, shut up. And actually, Kon-chan never knew her parents, right? So it's completly possible."
Anko nodded. "She was found a few miles out from the city and brought to the orphanage."
"What happened to the ninja from Mist?" Kiiro asked
"We're over here," Haku called. "Deciding what to do with Kabuto."
Aki was frozen, standing over Kabuto, who was twitching on the ground. "All the time I took off to find you, to repay you for what you did..." she said to herself. "And yet... here you are, almost parlyzed, and I still can't do anything. Stricken by fear..." she sighed to herself.
Haku looked at the curse mark on Kabuto's arm. "How did she do that, anyway? If Kon-san didn't know that she was Orochimaru, however that may be, how was she able to do this to this person?"
Orochimaru chuckled, appearing behind them, holding Kon's wrist (she was not pleased). "When I was still figuring out my immortality justu, I accidentally created a few new lives... Kon-chan is the one most like me." He pulled her into a hug. Kon struggled, but could not get out of his grasp. "Somewhere in this pretty little head of hers, she knows all of the jutsu I had at the time. She may even have some of my memories. I'm not sure about that." He ruffled her hair. "My cute daughter."
Kon turned to face Orochimaru and, out of all things she could have done, she glared. "Let go of me," she whispered dangerously.
"That's the thing, Kon-chan. I can't. If I let go, how can I take you with me?"
Sound nin jumped out from all around them, and knocked out, then grabbed: Aki, Haku, Kiiro, Kuroppi, and Anko. Orochimaru slung Kabuto over his shoulder and all Sound related people dashed off through the woods.
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When Kuroppi woke up, she was in a dark, damp, cave.
"WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?!?" her voice echoed.
"Oh, Kuro-chan! You're up!" Kiiro's voice said hyperishly.
There was silence. Then...
"How can you be cheerful at a time like this?!?"
Kiiro giggled. "I have no idea. It might have something to do with the fact that Anko-sensei has sake in her bag and now she's drunk."
"Wasssh wrong wih that?" Anko slurred.
There was a splashing noise, followed by Anko saying, "Thanks, Haku."
"Not a problem."
Kuroppi squinted in the dark, searching for her snow-white canine companion.
"Where's Fuyu?"
A barking noise sounded far away.
"We think she's being held in an adjacent cave," Aki whispered, sounding very frightened.
"Well, then," Kiiro said. "When we figure out how to dismantle that door, we can grab Fuyu and run! And then find Kon-chan. Who isn't here either. And then we'll run some more!"
"But how will we get out of here in the first place?" Kuroppi whispered.
A door opened in the side of the cave, letting in light that made them squint. It was Orochimaru, and behind him was Kon, who mouthed 'help me!'
"Hello," he said oddly cheerfully (which on orochimaru in insanely scary). "How is everyone today?"
"Considering my sensei was drunk a few minutes ago and I'm stuck in a cold wet cave? Very well thank you," Kiiro replied in the same evil-cheerful tone, only halfway sarcastic.
"I'm glad to hear that," Orochimaru said thoughtfully. "Anko-chan! Are you better now?"
"I think you being here makes me feel worse," Anko replied not so evenly.
"But, are you sober now?" he asked, a little less cheerfully than before, killer intent leaking off of him.
"I suppose. WHY THE HELL ARE WE HERE?!?"
"Well..." Orochimaru smiled. "I left notes at that chocolate shop, knowing Tsunade would give your and Kon-chan's team the mission, since Kiiro-chan here was raised in one and even knew the people there. Then, I had Kabuto steal the formula to draw you away from the town to a previously arrange point, so we could collect my cute daughter here." he hugged Kon, who winced considerably (poor kon-chan, I pity her so! but not enough to not keep torturing her heheh).
"I was going to dispose of you so no one knew that we had been seen, but Kon-chan said that you were her friends and that she didn't want you to die, so I let you stay here instead!"
Kiiro smiled. "Well then! We'll have to make sure your hospitality is returned a hundredfold!" she spoke in a sweet fake-polite voice, as if speaking to a small annoying younger sibling.
The Snake-Sannin chuckled at this, then noticed Kuroppi. "I doubt you'll be able to. Ah! Who have we here--- Sasuke-kun, how did you get down there?"
"I'm right behind you," said a voice from behind him, before Kuroppi could go through her usual 'NOT SASUKE!' yelling routine.
"Then who's that?" Orochimaru moved to the side to show Uchiha Sasuke Kuroppi.
HIs eyes widened. "What the--" he moved past Orochimaru to hug said Uchiha-look-alike.
"I'm not the only one," he whispered.
"That's great," Kuropppi said darkly, "Now LET ME GO."
Sasuke noticed what he was doing, then awkardly let go and stepped away.
"Who are you?" he asked.
Kuroppi glared. "Isn't it usual to give your own name before asking the other's?"
Sasuke smirked. "You were taught well."
Kuroppi continued glaring. "I'll be sure to thank Hana-neesan when I see her," she said coldly.
"Hnn... you remind me of myself, you know," Sasuke said thoughtfully.
Kuroppi said nothing, but she was kept on glaring.
Sasuke shrugged, then walked away. "I'll come back later," he called.
"Wait, Sasuke-kun!" Orochimaru left after Sasuke, dragging Kon along side him. "Help me!" she mouthed again.
"Sasuke said you remind him of himself," Kiiro chuckled. "Does he get lusted after by Neji too?"
Both girls cracked up. "But seriously," Kiiro said shakily from laughter, "We gotta get outta here. Maybe if when Sasuke-- WHO I NOW NAME UCHIHASUKE!-- comes back, we can get past him somehow."
"And we would do that, HOW?" Anko pressed.
"... No idea!" Kiiro said brightly.
"Thankfully, he didn't notice me," Haku said out of the blue.
"Why's that?" Kuroppi asked curiously.
"I fought him once. He tends to freeze up when he's scared..."
Kiiro laughed. "Scare Uchihasuke? C'mon, he's lived with Orochimaru for half a year, there probably isn't much that can scare him. I mean, this is Orochimaru of the Sannin we're talking about! He's pretty creepy!"
"His brother..." the Hokou's voice came from Aki. "Uchiha Itachi... HE scares Sasuke. Not that this helps."
"How do you know that?" Kuroppi asked.
"I keep tabs on the Uchiha clan to see if my gift has been taken care of. Ah... the Sharingan. Yes, yes... there is one thing Kuroppi might be able to do to scare Sasuke."
"Keep talking," Kuroppi said, nudging Aki/Hokou's body. "I wanna get out of here!"
Kiiro's eyes widened. "I think I know."
Hokou chuckled. "It's simple really. All we have to do is use Tsukuyoumi... an Uchiha genjutsu using the Mangenkyou Sharingan!"
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Banshou followed the link in her head. Honemashi did the same.
"Almost there," the small boy whispered. "Don't worry Aki, we'll save you!"
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Me: Okay, this chapter is ubershort... ah well.. oh bla dee oh bla da
Banshou (adds in): life goes on, bra! Laaa lalala life goes on...
Naruto: SASUKE STILL DOESN'T OWN ME! NOW REVIEW!
Sasuke: No matter how many times you say that, it still won't be true... dobe.