Anko Plus Gennin Equals: Pure Chaos! Chapter 8: Team Four's Blondie Lives Again!, a naruto fanfic

Me: Mya haha! I can't stop writing... it's too addictive! ... Myahaha!

Kuroppi: Just shut up and write the chapter.

Kon: No! Don't!

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Aki approached the gates and knocked loudly. "Himura Aki, Kaguya Honemashi, and Haku!"

One of the guards atop the wall laughed at this. "We're not letting you in you demon--" there was a smacking noise.

"Let my students in or you die," a gruff voice boomed out.

"Thanks, Natsu-sensei," Honemashi laughed as the gates opened.

A man in his early twenties leaned over the wall. "Welcome back you three! I'm glad no one's dead this time..." his eyes twinkled.

Aki, Honemashi and Haku chuckled.

"Oh, wait! We DO have a dead person!" the man realized. "And Banshou too! Come in, everyone in!"

Aki, Haku, Honemashi, Kon, Kuroppi (carrying Kiiro), Fuyu, and Anko all walked in quickly. The gates slammed shut behind them.

Aki's sensei jumped down off the wall and landed with a loud 'THUD' sound.

"Pleased to meet you all," he said jovially. "I'm Natsu and I'm the jounin sensei of this cell-- Honemashi, Aki, and Haku's been working with us too recently."

Anko bobbed her head in recognition. "I've heard of you before. My name is Mitarashi Anko and these are my students. Hebitsukai Kon--" Kon waved-- "Inuzuka Kuroppi and Fuyu--" Kuroppi nodded, Fuyu barked-- "And the dead girl is Warai Kiiro." Anko pointed at said corpse.

"This way, please. We need to resurrect her before the council figures out I'm back and decides that what I'm doing is wrong," Aki said tiredly, turned right and walking off. Everyone followed.

Natsu spoke up. "Banshou, we got a message from Suna. Your team has a mission... you should probably go."

Banshou made a face. "Rats! Yeah, I'd better leave. Bye guys!" she made way for the gate.

"Say hi to Daidaiiro for me, willya?" Natsu called after her. "Chippoke too!"

"I will!" Banshou called back. The gate opened again and Banshou walked out.

"Was Banshou dead once too?" Kuroppi asked.

"Yes, she was. Actually, I believe she was killed by her crush, wasn't she?" Honemashi said.

"She was," Aki agreed. "And she still likes him."

"She still likes him?" Kuroppi said in disbelief.

Honemashi nodded. "I was killed by a relative when the Kaguya clan went beserk and started killing each other off. I don't feel any more ill will towards that person than towards the rest."

"And Kiiro was killed by her friend, but if I know Kiiro she's probably just gonna use it as an excuse for you to buy her dango," Kon pointed out.

"Being dead is an eye-opening experience," Haku agreed.

Aki stopped in front of an apartment. "Here we are," she said, smiling a little. "Come in, why don't you?"

She unlocked the door and everyone walked in. It was a two-bedroom apartment, Aki explained, and she had shared it with her brother, but now that her brother was dead no one entered his room. Aki didn't live with her parents as they considered her a monster, she had added quietly.

"Put Kiiro on the couch," Aki said. "The sooner, the better. Fresher bodies are easier to work with."

"I'm sorry," Haku joked.

Aki laughed quietly. "Haku had been dead for three months," she explained.

Aki pulled on the light switch. The walls were dark blue, and the carpet was a lighter blue, like ice.

"Lay Kiiro on the couch, back up" Aki instructed Kuroppi, walking into the kitchen to retrieve some herbs from a little box on the counter.

Kuroppi nodded and placed Kiiro on the couch. Aki came back out of the kitchen. She put a few herb in Kiiro's mouth. "To help her breath," Aki explained. "Now, let's get started..."

Her hair turned white and Hokou took over.

Anko ran to hide behind Kon, who sweatdropped.

"Don't tell me I scare you," the five-tailed demon chuckled.

"I won't tell you," Anko said quickly.

The Hokou chuckled again, then closed Aki's eyes and took a deep breath and laid her right hand on Kiiro's back. A red chakra glowed around the hand.

"Healing chakra sucked off Kyuubi," she explained to those who hadn't seen this process before.

Hokou held Aki's left hand above Kiiro's back. "Raijuu's lighting." A miniature thunderbolt struck Kiiro.

The hand stayed up, but the lighting ceased. Black chakra lines came out of Aki's fingers and moved all pver Kiiro's body, then went to the place where the right hand was still healing.

"Nekomata's ability to manipulate the dead. I do most of the healing above the heart, because it's the hard to animate," Hokou said conversationally. "Of course there's this lovely gaping hole in her stomache, too. Did you have to do that, Kuroppi? You could have just hit her head."

"I didn't want to kill her at first, so she provoked me. And I got mad," Kuroppi said gruffly. "So it's not my fault."

Aki's body smiled at Kuroppi's comment and shook her head. "Now, we use the chakra string to start the heart beating..." The finger started making jerking movements. "Ah. And now for the breath."

The right hand stopped glowing and was used to turn over Kiiro's body. The place where Kuroppi had stabbed was healed completely without as much as a scar. Of course, there was a magnificent hole in Kiiro's shirt around her stomache.

Aki's hair returned to it's normal color. "This part is simple and I can do it myself-- Shukaku's use of the wind element." With the right hand she opened Kiiro's mouth, then blasted wind in through the mouth, through the wind pipe, and through the lungs.

She detached the chakra strings on her left hand and used both hands to push on Kiiro's stomache five times.

Kiiro coughed. And spluttered.

Aki gently put her fingers Kiiro's belly and and started to tickle her.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! STOP THAT!" Kiiro laughed. She sat up and opened her eyes.

"I'm going to assume you're alive?" Aki said.

"DAMN STRAIGHT! Thanks for sending Honemashi to tell me by the way. Hell, thanks for everything!"

"Good..." Aki mumbled. "Because I'm just about spent." She fainted.

Honemashi appeared behind her just as she fell and caught her. Aki's head landed on Honemashi's shoulder, right next to his face. He blushed.

Kuroppi smirked.

"Kuro-chan? Guess what?" Kiiro asked, crossing one leg over the other.

"What, klutz?" Kuroppi asked.

"I SAW MY MOM!" the demon-obsessor squealed.

"No way!" Anko said loudly. "You saw Mamoka-chan?"

"I did! I did!" Kiiro replied excitedly. "She's the coolest mom EVER! We went looking for my brother but she didn't even know he was dead and even though we got Yondaime-sama and Sandaime-sama to help, we still couldn't find my niichan!" she made a face. "I think he's not dead."

"Ah... maybe your brother went to Hell?" Haku asked.

Kiiro sweatdropped. "Why would they send a baby to Hell?"

The mist-nin shrugged. "They sent Zabuza-san to Hell and he didn't do that much that was wrong. I had to sneak into there to see him."

"Didn't do that much wrong?" Anko asked, sweat-dropping. She was ignored.

"You snuck into Hell too? Was it through the hole in the wall?" Kiiro asked quickly. "The one shaped--"

"-- Like a rabbit," Haku agreed.

"Rabbit hole!" Kiiro squealed. She jumped up and got into a pose as to start bouncing up and down--

"Oof." she fell backwards, back onto the couch. "I'm all stiff from being dead."

"That'll keep for awhile," Haku sighed. "You'll have to stay here a week or so."

"Oooooh," Kiiro said. "That makes sense."

"Well, if that's all..." Anko interjected, "I need to take Kon to see Tsunade-sama."

Kiiro nodded. "For the whole oh-yeah-she's-Roro-chan's-daughter thing?"

"Roro-chan?" Anko laughed. "Even Orochimaru gets a nickname?"

"All humans besides the 'Kages do," was Kiiro's response. "And I realize now that I haven't nicknamed my senseis either..."

"Technically, his is a Kage," Anko pointed out, chuckling. "Hehe... 'Roro-chan'... he has that one coming."

"Yeah, he did. And since he's Micheal Jackson crossed with Voldemort he doesn't count as a Kage."

This made sense, so everyone nodded.

"Well, we'll be leaving now. Toodles!" Anko called, dragging Kon with her. "Come back to Konoha eventually!"

Kuroppi sweatdropped. "Kii-chan?"

"Yeah?" Kiiro asked, hearing her nickname.

"I think she's trying to turn us into missing-nin." Kuroppi said.

"Probably."

"Achoo!"

"Anko-sensei, are you coming down with something?"

Aki sat up in her bed.

"Oh, you're up!" Kiiro cheered, passing by the door. She was still wearing the same shirt Kuroppi had killed her in... there was a huge hole in the stomache lined with bloodstains.

The junchuuriki nodded groggily. "How long was I out?"

"Three days. Want some food?"

Aki's stomache grumbled loudly. "Yeah... but Kiiro, you shouldn't be up and about. Aren't you still stiff?"

Kiiro nodded. "Even so, I can't help but be my hyper bouncing self!"

"She's fainted from exhastion three times," Kuroppi called from... wherever she was.

"We had the same problem with Banshou. She jumped up and down a lot too," Honemashi noted as he stepped into Aki's room. "She really wanted to go home."

"Too see her crush who killed her?" Kiiro giggled.

"Yep. Pretty much." the Kaguya boy nodded.

"Hey... I just realized something." Kiiro said suddenly. "About the resurrections."

Aki looked up. "What is it?"

"Well, I was dead, right?"

"You were..." Honemashi said.

Kiiro nodded. "And now I'm not, right?"

Aki sweatdropped. "You noticed this just now?"

"SO, if I was dead but now I'm not dead but I've still been dead before, doesn't that make me undead?"

"Technically..." Aki said.

"So me, Honema-chan, Haku-chan, Ban-chan, and any other people you've helped in this way are zombies!!!" Kiiro squealed. "And since you made us zombies you're the Zombie Lord!"

"Zombie Lord?" Aki asked.

"It is true we are indebted to you, Aki-san," agreed Haku as he passed through the hallway, carrying a basket of laundry.

Aki sweatdropped. "Haku, why are you doing the laundry?"

Haku smiled politely. "Oh, these are only my things. I can get yours too if you like--"

Aki shook her head. "Just because I resurrected you doesn't mean you're my slave or something. You really should go and do something besides helping me with your life."

"But since without you I wouldn't have a life, shouldn't I repay you in any way I can?" Haku pointed out, confused.

"No!" Aki said. "I want you to go back to life like it was before-- that's the whole point of bringing you back!!!" she yelled angrily. She realized something and hung her head. "But you can't-- I forgot-- I'm sorry," she said sadly. "Forgive me for blowing up at you. I just wish you wouldn't keep helping me all the time like this. You're not my subordinate or something, ya know."

"I'm confused now," Kiiro said. "Dare I ask what's going on?"

Haku smiled sadly. "Well, as you know, Aki-san couldn't save Zabuza-san..."

(Start Haku Flashback)

Haku coughed and sat up. "Where am I?" he gasped. He was in the middle of a forest. There was a small white-haired boy and a black-haired girl who was a little younger than him kneeling next to him. The black-haired girl seemed to be asleep on the white-haired boy's shoulder.

"As I explained when you were still dead," said the white-haired boy, "I'm Honemashi and this girl here is Aki. Aki brought you back because she thought you shouldn't have died. Your master, she didn't think should have died either, but with the extent of his wounds she couldn't help him, so we redug his grave. You're in Wave Country, about three miles from the Great Naruto Bridge."

Haku gasped. "Great Naruto--?"

Honemashi nodded. "Yep. They named it after that Konoha-nin you fought because he brought hope back to the villagers."

Haku smiled weakly. "I'm sure he appreciated that."

"From what I hear, he did," Honemashi said, standing up and picking up Aki bridal style. "Since you were dead, you'll be stiff for quite awhile..."

"Wait!" Haku winced and slowly got up.

"What?" Honemashi asked tiredly.

"I owe you both. Is there anything I can assist you with...?"

"That's right. You don't have anywhere to go..." Honemashi noted. "Well, if I were you I'd go out and 'seek your fortune' of something, but if you wanna come with me and Aki, then I'm not gonna stop you." the Kaguya boy walked off and Haku, after thinking for a moment, stiffly followed after.

(End Haku Flashback)

"I'd lived a majority of my life serving Zabuza-san. Without Zabuza-san I decided to serve Aki-san," Haku explained.

"... You need to get a life. No offense," Kiiro said.

"I agree with her whole-heartedly," Honemashi said.

Haku smiled embarrassedly. "I know..."

"That's it!" Kiiro yelled. "Haku!" she addressed the feminine boy.

"Yes?" Haku asked, nervous at Kiiro's determined tone.

The summoner-wannabe grinned. "I make this pledge: As long as I'm here in Mist, I'm gonna teach you to get a life of your own! Because you suck at teaching yourself." she nodded to herself. "Mmm-hmmm."

"That's not the nicest thing to say..." Aki said, sweatdropping.

"You're a lot like that Naruto boy," Haku told her. "Actually, now that I think of it, he's also a Konoha-nin. Do you have a relative named Uzumaki Naruto...?"

Kiiro made a face. "No, I've never met him, but I hear a helluva lot about him from Kuro-chan's adoptive brother, Kiba. Kiiro, you look just like him! If we cut your hair you'd be his twin! Have you been to Ichiraku lately, Kiiruto?" she made an exaggerated anger face, complete with wide eyes and clawed hands. "When I finally meet that guy I'm gonna drag him to wherever Kibaka happens to be and show him we're nothing alike!!!" she fumed. "That teme..."

'No doubt about it,' Haku thought. 'She's almost exactly like Naruto.' "Sorry, my bad," Haku said hurriedly.

"That why I think it's so funny when people take Kuro-chan for Uchihasuke," Kiiro said. "Because it's happening to someone besides me. Also, since Sasuke has fangirls, they sometimes mistake her for him and chase him around Konoha." she grinned evilly. "Plus she's got fanboys of her own. Poor, dear, Kuro-chan..."

"So that's why you're always making 'Uchiha' cracks about me," Kuroppi said, also walking into the room. "By the way, you guys really should check out the TV... the Chuunin exams are on." she walked you quickly. "That Banshou girl is fighting."

"Ban-chan?!?" Kiiro yelped, running out to the living room.

The ring was round like a stadium, with sand on the floor. There was ring of sharp-looking rock around the edges and several doors were on the walls past the rocks. One of the doors was open and several Chuunin hopefuls were watching through one of the doors.

"This match's winner: Kasshokusuna no Banshou!" exclaimed the examination's proctor. This was a guy wearing what looked to be a pair of black pajamas, with a matching hat with cat ears on it. Banshou was on the TV, waving happily at the cameras. There were disembodied arms and legs all around her (they were, of course, her own).

"She WON!" Kiiro hooted.

On the TV, Banshou walked off of the arena. She ran and glomped some guy who was standing in the competitor's area. He looked at her for a second, then shrugged and let her hang off the back of his neck. The boy had red hair and pale skin...

"That's Gaara," Aki said, "The guy who killed her, but she still likes him. He's the Fourth Kazekage's son, actually. The proctor is Gaara's brother, Kankurou."

"Kankurou has problems," Honemashi added for good measure. Aki nodded.

"Gaara just let Banshou hand from his neck. Kankurou sweatdropped at this scene, then cleared his throat. "Ahem! Next: Akasuna no Daidaiiro versus Hebitsukai Kon!"

"OUJI-SAMA'S IN THE CHUUNIN EXAMS?!?" Kiiro and Kuroppi yelled in unison.

Kon's opponent was a boy with wavy orange-red hair (more red than orange) wearing a blue shirt with black pants. His Suna hitai-ate was tied around his right arm and he had black fingerless gloves. In addition, there was a belt full of scrolls around his waist. The boy was wearing the standard black shinobi sandals like most Suna-nin wore.

"My name's Akasuna no Daidaiiro!" said the boy cheerfully as he and Kon stepped into the ring and faced each other. "... Hey shrimp! Are you male or female?"

Kon twitched.

"That's Banshou's teammate," Haku informed the others.

"He also has problems," Honemashi added, "Because he was taught for awhile by Kankurou."

"Oi! Daidaiiro! If you don't win I'm flat broke!" Kankurou threatened the orange-haired boy.

"Don't worry, Kankurou-san, if I'm fighting this inhuman she-male then that's not a problem."

Kankurou grinned. "Good kid."

"GO DAIDAI!" Banshou yelled, from her position of still-hugging-Gaara, "But BE CAREFUL! I met that girl before and she's trouble!"

Kon gave Banshou a 'speak-one-more-word-and-you-die' glare, but Banshou payed this no mind. "Remember! If you win you're fighting ME!"

"So it's all downhill from here?" Daidaiiro teased.

"We'll see," Kon and Banshou said, neither amused by the comment.

"You guys ready?" Kankurou asked. Daidaiiro put his hand on one of the scrolls on his belt and Kon formed a seal with her hands.

"MATCH COMMENCE!"

Aki laughed softly. "Kankurou's really into this job, isn't he?"

"I think you're right," Honemashi agreed readily.

Me: HA! I wrote the chapter Kon-chan!

Kiiro: And there's nothing you can do about it!

Kon: I hate you both...

Me: pats Kiiro's head good self insertion. I should probably go write my Host Club fic now...

Kon: Which I'm not in! Take your time.

Kuroppi: But you're about to fight Daidaiiro!

Kon: Oh yeah... snigger I'm so gonna kick his ass... review people! And maybe I'll get to do it sooner!

Me: Remember, I don't own Naruto! Sasuke does!

Sasuke: Damn staight.