Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any other characters on it- I do, however, own Jacob!
Carly couldn't even hold me back. Even Jacob, clutching my hand, was dragged along. He didn't seem to mind- he shot me a small smile when I looked back to make sure he was at least standing up. But when I heard about Mrs. Benson, I couldn't hold it in. Who ever thought I'd be running to Freddie's crazy mother?
She was in the kitchen. That's where I went first, of course, and then I let Jacob rest. He kept a tight clutch on my hand. I thought for a moment he might be afraid I would jump someone or something, but when I looked back at him he just had the same soft, kind smile one his face. Except now, his eyes were full of concern. Carly appeared behind him, her eyes upset. She didn't like seeing me so upset, and she probably didn't like that I was trusting Jacob either.
But it was Jacob. Jacob!
I had seen his picture, I had even remarked on him being exceptionally good looking for the Benson clan. The only two people I could be happier about seeing was him- and Mrs. Benson.
Suddenly, a new thought struck me? What if Freddie was here? Maybe Jacob had wanted me to go see Mrs. Benson first because her overprotective ways made her very demanding in seeing all of his guests firsthand? That wouldn't be a far off thought compared to the double 'poo contract.
Carly cleared her throat, and I paid total attention to Mrs. Benson.
She stayed very still, her back turned. Her hair was longer than before- it hung halfway down her back, weirdly enough. I couldn't remember a time when her hair had been any longer than to her shoulders.
She was wearing a white pencil skirt and a floral designed t shirt. She wore sneakers as well- a pretty typical outfit for her. I know it's weird, but just staring at her…I wanted to hug her. I missed her. Well, more like I missed ragging on her with Freddie.
"Mrs. Benson," I whispered so quietly it sounded almost desperate. I jumped out of Jacob's grasp and rushed right to her, Carly close behind me. Jacob got to Mrs. Benson's other side quickly, staring up at her nervously.
"Samantha Puckett!" she gasped, and I was shocked. She had seemed so fragile for a moment. It was oddly weird to hear her barking voice again. "Do you know that there is dirt just streaked across your face? And I saw you talk to the neighbor girl, though I wasn't sure it was you- you cannot just go up to strangers and start conversations-,"
She probably babbled on a lot more, but I just grinned at her. Freddie was lucky to have her. She cared. She cared about him.
Freddie.
"Where's Freddie, Mrs. Benson?" I demanded suddenly, interrupting her. My desperate voice seemed to surprise her into silence, and Jacob went rigid next to her. Carly sighed and shook her head at me, looking more disappointed then ever.
"Not here," Mrs. Benson said stiffly, and I felt like I would collapse. Carly reached out for my arm, but Jacob was there faster, one hand pushed hard down on my shoulder. I couldn't remember the last time I even talked to a boy my age besides Gibby, and he didn't really count.
A sniffling noise was loud in this kitchen when Mrs. Benson and I made it at the same time. It was only too fair that I be tortured with a similarity with his mother. Stupid Freddie.
"So, where is he?" Carly asked, her and Jacob acting all too calm. It was like they didn't even care- Carly was only disappointed on my behalf- and strangely, I think Jacob was disappointed for the same reason.
"With his father," Mrs. Benson said as if it were the simplest thing in the universe. I felt like if I had a drink in my hand, I might spit it all over her and Jacob right now. If it was a big enough drink, I couldn't demolished the whole room. It was so crazy, thinking about it.
It made sense.
"Oh," Carly breathed deeply, sounding like she had given up. What a strange idea, giving up. I wonder if that's what she thought I was doing these past couple of years.
I wasn't giving up, though. I don't think I ever could give up. I felt like I wasn't even controlling myself at times now. Like there was a whole other Sam who would take the wheel when Freddie's name was mentioned and manage to get up to a hundred miles per hour.
"Well, where's his father?" I said simply. It seemed so easy to the other Sam- to just get in the car right now and go to him. Find him.
Mrs. Benson put a hand on my shoulder, and started to beg me to stay the night there.
When I heard his soft voice mumbling, "Sam! Sam!" at my door, it reminded me all too much of those Wake Up Spencer segments. Freddie and I would creep to Spencer's room together, laughing hysterically. Sometimes, I would fall asleep on Freddie, only to wake up and kick him out and to the apartment across the street. It seemed so long away…like it had been centuries ago rather than a few years.
So when Jacob tapped my door and whisper-screamed for me, I thought it might bring back too many painful memories. But surprisingly, the memories were amazing. Reliving my moments with Freddie- I hadn't done that in so long. I just went over that one day over and over again. This was a happy memory. A good memory.
Jacob opened the door and crept next to my bed, kneeling down. "Sam?" he whispered, and Carly stirred a bit. I mocked him in silence as he was forced to sit there and wait.
When he looked like he was about to speak, I muttered smugly, "I'm awake you know."
His laughter was nice to hear.
The only person I could remember making laugh in a long time was Carly. Hadn't there been a time when I was a bit of a schoolwide comedian? I felt like that had been another lie time ago. A whole different world, you could say.
"I know where Freddie is," he murmured in my ear, and I leaped out of the cot Mrs. Benson had brought for me when I insisted that Carly take the bed for herself (it was hardly big enough for both of us). I almost fell into his arms that he stretched out to protect himself, and I landed on the floor.
Carly stirred again, and I laid on the floor staring up at Jacob's grinning face for a few more moments before her breathing slowed back into the typical even breathing I was used too. It was comical, laying there across him as I focused on the brown eyes that were a lot like Freddie's.
"Well, where?" I hissed when he had helped me up and we walked into his room. He locked the door, tucking blankets in the empty space between the door and the floor. ("She's got dog ears," he had gestured to Mrs. Benson's room). I sat on his bed patiently- or as patiently as I could manage with all of this stuff looming ahead of me. My outburst was after a few moments of him making sure the window was shut and locked before he turned on the light.
"Well…" Jacob drifted off, and I lunged at him, grabbing his shirt collar. "I don't want to hurt you, Jake, but I'm subjected to do so if you don't spit it out already. I've noticed you have a bad habit with that," I cried out in his face, and he smirked back at me. He was rather easy going.
He cleared his throat to speak, but questions kept coming out. Why couldn't I just shut up? "Why couldn't Carly come too, anyways? How long have they been here? Did they come here right after they moved?"
"Carly isn't as interested as you are, I've noticed," Jacob said stiffly, and I tried not to roll my eyes. Of course she wasn't, she wanted to go back and be with her boyfriend and brother. "And they did come here right after they moved. They were planning on moving into a house here, but Freddie wasn't adjusting well."
The way he said it suspected there was a lot more, and I thought I would start crying. I am Sam Puckett, I told myself stiffly. I do not cry. I will not cry. Why would I cry? I'm tough. I'm Sam. But I still sniffed a bit. Jacob either didn't notice, or pretended he didn't as he stared at a string he was pulling at on his blanket.
"Why wasn't he adjusting?" I asked nervously, waiting as patiently as I possibly could.
"He said he left behind too much. He didn't explain things before he left. He said he felt terrible, for being so mean to you before he left. He said he didn't think he liked Carly, either- that he should've let her be with Jake."
Punch in the gut.
Strangely enough, I had forgotten why we had argued that day so many years ago. It seemed so far away- or maybe I was just trying to forget about it. To forget that he liked Carly. He liked Carly. He liked Carly. He liked Carly.
"Are you okay?" Jacob asked, putting another hand on my shoulder. He was getting too touchy feely for my nerves, and I missed picking on people as much as I used too. I shoved his hand onto the bed and managed to choke out, "Fine, Jake."
He ginned at me a bit, and then he reached behind his bed. "Another reason I wanted you to come alone…" he said as he rummaged for a moment, and then pulled out a folded white sheet of paper.
"Freddie wrote a note to you that he said he was never actually going to send to you. He threw it in the trash, and I fished it out. Back then I was kind of nosy, I guess. I wanted to know why he was upset…" the rest of his words were a blur. I ripped the paper out of his hands and touched it gingerly.
I was terrified. I thought it might disappear if I held it any longer. I thought this was all too real. I was another step closer. I had a note. Jacob had the information.
But I was still terrified.
"Read it," Jacob provoked me. I clenched my fist around it as tightly as I could without bending it, my knuckles turning white. It was horrible, wanting something and yet wanting to forget all about it at the same exact time. I wasn't sure if I would regret what I was about to do- I sure hoped not.
Author's Note: Whoa, sorry for the long pause between chapters. I've been totally loaded with homework lately. I'll try to get the chapters up quicker soon, and I'm going to be working on a few requests soon as well. I hope you like this chapter, and as stated before, if you have any ideas you ever want me to consider, either related to this story or not, just let me know. Thanks to all the past reviewers, too! :D