Anko Plus Gennin Equals: Pure Chaos! Chapter 10: Team Four and FILLER!, a naruto fanfic

Me: Sorry, I haven't posted in awhile. Computer wouldn't talk to that sucks, but still I think getting a new one was a bit extreme.

Me: ... But it's an iMac!

Kon: You IDIOT.

Me: I hate you all. Except Kiiro.

Kiiro: But I'm a self insertion. Hating me would be hating yourself!

Me: not completely. I've never called Haku gay.

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Kuroppi, Kiiro, Anko, and Kon were all in the Hokage's office.

"On the subject of Kon's origin..." Tsunade sighed. "If I know Orochimaru, which I'm not sure I do anymore, but I probably still know him better than most, he'll try to get Kon again."

Kon paled.

"If this happens..." Tsunade said, "I want you to play along and pretend to enjoy his company. Obtain as much information as you possibly can. Then, when you get the chance, escape and tell us everything you know. I suppose you could call this an extended mission, S-Class."

"Whoo..." Kiiro said. "S-ranker! S-ranker! Kon-chan has mad skillz."

"Thank you," Kon said to Kiiro, smirking evilly, "I know."

Tsunade took a deep breath. "On the subject of Kuroppi being an Uchiha..." she paused. "We're giving you guys a mission. It's simply to clean up the Uchiha complex, which Sasuke never did. But, I also want you to find out who Kuroppi's birth parents are if you can. Knowing exactly which part of the Uchiha clan she came from might be... advantageous."

"She's probably twins with Sasuke," Kiiro teased her teammate.

"I'm a year younger than him and I have a different birthday, dumbass," was Kuroppi's response to this remark. "There's no way I could be his twin. For all we know, the relation between me and him is very distant."

"But at any rate, he's not the only one," Kiiro said, mimicking Sasuke. All of Team Four laughed at this, leaving Tsunade looking very confused.

"I don't get it..." she said slowly.

"Trust me," Kiiro chuckled, "You don't wanna know."

"Here we are!" Anko boomed. "The Uchiha complex."

"I ended up here by accident once," Kuroppi said off-handedly.

"Did the Uchihas rag on you?" Anko asked.

"I was there. There was only one Uchiha present," Kiiro recalled. "It was Itachi... and... HE THOUGHT SHE WAS SASUKE!!!" she fell over with a laughing seizure, but then stopped when she saw something on the walls of one of the complex buildings.

"Is that... bloodstains?" she asked, walking over and looking at the wall, which was smeared with something rust-colored. "It is!" Kiiro cheered.

"Wow, when Tsunade-sama said that Sasuke didn't do any cleaning, she wasn't joking," Kon noted. "Should we get started with the insides of the houses and do that part later?"

"Sounds good," Kuroppi said, walking over to open the sliding door of one of the houses. "Let's do this one first."

Anko nodded and pulled out a sealing scroll and 'poofed' out some rags and two bucket full of soapy water. "The sooner we start, the sooner we finish! Let's go!"

"Whew!" Kuroppi wiped some sweat off her brow before proceeding to spray more cleaner into the mildew-covered wall. "And to think that civilains do this stuff all the time?"

"I was raised by civilians!" called Kiiro, running around the room while pushing a mop. "Just do the cleaning fast and consider it training! That was you feel less like you're wasting time," she huffed, setting down the mop, and picking up a strangely shaped scrubbing brush and a canister of cleaning powder.

"I'll clean the toilets!!!" she cheered, running for the bathroom. "That's the best part!"

"How is she enjoying this?" Anko grumbled from the kitchen, where she and Kon were scrubbing the floors.

"Well, maybe she's reminiscing about her childhood," Kon reasoned.

"No," Kuroppi said, "I think..."

"HA!" Kiiro called. "I've done all the cleaning except for you guys' job in less than three hours! BEAT THAT, SUCKERS!!!"

"... She's just glad that she can think she's better than us in one area at least," Kuroppi finished, smirking.

"Damn straight!" Kiiro hooted, coming back in with the toilet scrubber and putting it back with the cleaning pile. "I'm feeding my superioirity complex."

"Actually, I think you're overstuffing it," Kon said darkly. "If you're so good at this stuff, why don't you help over here?"

"Good idea!" Kiiro said, skipping over to the kitchen to grab a rag and start cheerily scrubbing the floor.

"Okay, guys," Anko said, addressing her students, who were sitting on the porch of one of the Uchiha houses and eating dango. "We're pretty much done with the cleaning, and there's only one house left."

"The lair of the beast..." Kiiro said creepily.

Anko nodded. "The house Sasuke lived in with his brother and parents when they were all alive, -slash-not-Missing-nin. Once we've cleaned that place up, we can start looking for records of little girls who disappeared, AKA Kuro-chan's birth parents and name if she had one."

"Oh yeah..." Kuroppi noted. "Kuroppi might not be my real name..."

"Which is why it's time for me to come clean," said a dark figure from atop one of the telephone poles.

"Who's that up there?" Kon asked suspiciously.

The figure jumped down: Uchiha Itachi. He turned to Kuroppi and locked eyes.

"NOT SASUKE!!!" Kuroppi yelled immediately. Kiiro started laughing.

Itachi smirked. "Oh, I've figured that out by now," he chuckled. "You see, Sasuke lacks hatred. But you, my friend, have too much. Also you're too pretty to be Sasuke."

"Thank you, I know." Kuroppi said, smirking back.

"You're welcome," Itachi said. "But I'm not here to discuss who has more hatred. ...Well, not just to discuss who has more hatred. But, to the point, exactly who you are."

"... And you know this, when even I don't, how?" Kuroppi questioned, glaring.

"Because..." Itachi sighed. "I was the one who, knowing that the two clans will avoid each other at all costs, left on the Inuzuka's doorstep. Instead of killing you, might I add, like I was planning to do to all the others."

"You were planning to kill them already when I was a baby...?" Kuroppi asked. "But weren't you, like, six years old?"

"Seven," Itachi replied curtly. "I was seven."

"Oh, that makes it okay, then," Kuroppi growled sarcastically. "Anything particular reason it was me, out of all the babies there may have been at this point in time...?"

Itachi sighed. "I was afraid of you asking this. It's because," he mumbled, looking away, "Because you're my baby sister."

Kuroppi's left eye started twitching. "Okay... WHAT?!?"

"It's true," Itachi said, "You were born Uchiha Reiko to Uchiha Fugaku and Mikoto, your brothers being myself and Sasuke."

Kiiro started laughing. "Well, that makes sense!" she chortled.

"Now that I think of it..." Kon noted, "She looks more like Itachi then she looks like Sasuke."

"Exactly," Itachi stressed. "Would you be able to kill something that looked to much like you? That's why I couldn't kill her, or Sasuke either."

"Being their older sibling and therefore bound to protect them has nothing to do with it?" Kiiro said exasperatedly. "Geesh. I'm the only living child of my parents that I know of and I know that," she muttered.

Itachi glared. "That has nothing to do with it..."

Kuroppi gasped and got teary-eyed. What Itachi didn't know was that this was the act she put on whenever Kiba said something 'mean' to her or wouldn't do her a favour. It usually-- no, always worked.

"Niichan? Are you saying you don't love me?" she whispered, using every once of pretend-weepiness that she had built up over the years.

"Well... that might have had something to do with it." Itachi said, his face softening.

Itachi's face went back to its more well-known emotionless expression. "In addition, I was never here. You all were hallucinating." he walked up to Kuroppi (AKA Reiko) and hugged her swiftly.

"We'll meet again... imouto-chan," he whispered in her ear. And just like that, the man Kiiro had dubbed 'Uchitachi' disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

No one spoke for the rest of the next minute. Every stood there, taking in the implications of the last sentence Itachi had said before he left.

Kiiro, as usual, was the one to break the silence.

"That means the house we're about to do is the one Kuro-chan was raised in!"

Kuroppi smirked. "You're right..." she opened the door and walked inside. Her teammates and sensei followed, immediately noticing the stench in the air.

"I think Sasuke left food out before he left," Kon gagged, holding her nose.

"Spoken as someone who's never changed a daiper," Kiiro said cheerfully, walking into the kitchen. "Ah! It's onigiri... really old onigiri."

"Now that I think of it," Kuroppi thought aloud, "Kiba-niisan said something about that before. Onigiri is the only thing he's ever seen Sasuke eat."

"You mean he can't eat anything else?" Kiiro asked, confused.

"Well..." Kuroppi shook her head. "Probably something more along the lines of, he can't make anything else." This made everyone laugh.

"So?" Kiiro asked, once the laughter had died down. "You always pack steak in your lunch. Can't you make anything else?"

Kuroppi shot her blonde teammate the famous Uchiha glare, accompanies with the Inuzuka sneer. "Sure I can. Microwave popcorn, cold cereal, oatmeal, raw fish, sandwiches, eggs, and... onigiri."

Kiiro and Anko cracked up.

Kon smirked. "Onigiri must be a family favorite," she remarked, chuckling.

"All done cleaning!" Kiiro cheered. "Now let's go look for proof that Itachi wasn't lying!"

"Like what?" Anko asked.

"Like these," Kon said, holding up a box with the words 'Uchiha Mikoto's Home Videos-- Open at your own peril' written across it.

Kuroppi grinned evilly. "This outta be fun..."

On the screen, a small baby girl crawled across.

"Look at the camera, Reiko-chan! Look at me!" A woman's voice said off-screen. "Look, Fugaku! She's crawling to her niichan!"

"She is?" Uchiha Itachi (age six) looked up from the book he was reading (it was titled 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban').

"No, not you, Itachi-kun, I meant Sasuke." The woman explained. Sasuke (age one and a half) was sitting against the couch, playing with a giant plush shuriken.

"Wait, THAT Uchiha Mikoto?" Kiiro gasped, hugging the Nibi no Nekomata (the two-tails) plushie she was holding close. "I met her when I was dead!"

Kon raised her eyebrows. "What's she like?"

Kiiro giggled. "Really perky. Maybe even more so than me."

"Now that I think of it, she was on Kiiro's mom's gennin team," Anko noted. "They were friends."

"Would you shut up?" Kuroppi glared at Kiiro and Anko. "I'm trying to watch!"

The little girl (Kuroppi, aka Uchiha Reiko, age 3 months) crawled up to Sasuke and started crying.

"What did you do?" Itachi yelled, jumping up and sweeping Kuroppi/Reiko away (how'd he manage this at the age of six? he's a prodigy, stupid) from Sasuke. The little girl giggled, and Itachi almost smiled at her (ALMOST), then set her back down.

She crawled right back to Sasuke and started crying again.

"Wow..." Kiiro marvelled. "You were evil, even at this age?"

Kuroppi shrugged. "My mom, meaning Inuzuka Tsume, my adopted mom, has tapes of me doing exactly the same thing with Hana-neechan and Kiba-niichan when I was a little older. Watch, I'll repeat this cycle a couple more times until someone else intervenes."

Yet again, Itachi picked up Reiko/Kuroppi and put her down far away from Sasuke.

She crawled right back to Sasuke and continues wailing.

"I think this is enough proof to show the Council who she is without telling them Itachi was here," Anko chuckled, "Especially if we show them the ones taken by Tsume-san as well.

Kuroppi smirked. "And something tells me Hana-neechan will get a kick out of this tape. ... Even though she was the one I'd cry near."

Kiiro furrowed her eyebrows. "Why aren't we gonna tell 'em about Itachi showing up again?"

"For the last time, we're telling Hokage-sama, in secret, that we saw Itachi, but not the council, because they'll put it in their records, and Sasuke might find it," Kon explained tiredly. "And if either Sasuke or Itachi dies the council finds a reason and comes down on our heads for killing one of a dying clan which they want to continue to live in Konoha."

"Who would they want to find a reason to come down on us?" Kiiro asked, squeezing her bijuu plushie.

"Because we consist of a demon-obsessor," Kon said, (pointing at Kiiro), "Orochimaru's former student," (she pointed at Anko), "And me. His 'daughter'."

"Now that I think of it, random old people we pass in the street have been glaring at us more than usual recently," Kiiro noted. "And technically, Kon-chan, you're not his daughter, you're him. Just mutated a little so you're girl and not supertall."

"Stop calling me short!" Kon punched Kiiro into a wall.

"Oo you think I'm in love, And sent from above? I'm not that innocent!"

Kon stopped singing and turned the music player off in one fluid motion. "Why that song of all songs?"

"Because you hit me," Kiiro said immaturely, sticking out her tongue. "Next time I dare you it'll be Paula Abdul's 'Cold Hearted Snake.' Now dare someone else, and it can't be me since I dared you haha." she grinned cheekily.

The non-senseis of teams Anko, Kurenai, and Gai were all playing the Karaoke Dares game that Kiiro had invented in Mist. Team Kurenai was there because Kiba made them go, and Team Gai had been dragged there by Neji.

Kon's eyes scanned the book. She very slowly, but very eerily.

"Hyuuga Neeeejiiiiii ..." she said in her very creepiest voice. "Somebody to Love. Queen. Shino will do backup."

Neji paled under Kon's glare. "R-right." Shakily, he stood up and walked up to the stage. Shino followed him, but it was hard to tell if he was scared or not, since his face and eyes were hidden.

Neji cleared his throat. "Won't anybody? Fiiind meeeeee, Somebody tooooo-"

Shino cut in. "Looooooove."

The room shook with laughter. Except Hinata, shook her head to herself. 'Neji-niisan already has this song on CD in his room...'

At the end of the song, everyone cheered and clapped and laughed all at once as Neji (who was still shaking under Kon's glare) and Shino (who was smirking) got off the stage.

"But that song doesn't fit Shii-sempai (Shino) at all!" Kiiro said, confused.

Kon rolled her eyes. "Isn't that what made it funny?"

Kiiro nodded, her face dawnig with understanding. "You're right..."

"Ahem," Neji said. "My turn to dare someone."

Everyone grew quiet as Neji's gaze fell on Kuroppi.

"Kuro-sama will be singing..."

"Something racy and frilly and girly, so you can imagine she's singing it to you?" Kiba said tauntingly.

The branch house prodigy smirked. "Good idea, Inuzuka."

"Niiiiisaaaaan," Kuroppi and Hinata muttered under their breaths simultaneously. "You idiot."

"As I was saying..." Neji said. "Kuro-sama will be singing 'Tell Me What You See.'"

"As in 'when you look at me' or the Beatles' song?" Kiiro asked.

"The Beatles?" Neji's voice and face were confused. "Are they a band? I've never heard of them."

Kiiro gasped. "Hyuuji-sempai really is an idiot after all!"

"That was an interesting round of Karaoke," Kon mused, walking down the street. "Whoever thought Aburame Shino could sing so well?"

"Yeah, he's shy about that," Kiba laughed, grinning evilly. "We should invite him more often." He stopped. "Why are you guys following me again?"

Kiiro giggled. "We're sleeping over with Kuro-chan, Kibaka. Just because you're not her brother by blood doesn't mean she's about to move into the Uchiha complex."

"Oh, yeah..." Kiba said. "She's not really my sister..." he got a very strange look on his face, as if he were imagining something extremely disturbing, yet entertaining. Kuroppi, unfortunately, did not miss this.

She ran and hugged him. "Don't worry, Kiba-niichan! You'll always be my brother to me!"

Kiba shook his head and the strange expression left his face. His usual 'big brother' expression returned. "That's good to hear," he said awkwardly.

Everyone walked on in silence untill they reached the Inuzuka house.

"I have a tape!" Inuzuka Hana announced. "That Kuroppi-chan will like to see!"

Kuroppi raised her eyebrows. "What is it?"

"It's of the Chuunin exams battle where Neji got his ass kicked," Tsume announced from the kitchen. "Enjoy!"

Naruto flew out of the ground and his fist knocked Neji into the air.

"I've only met Naruto once or twice, but I think he might be my favorite person," Kuroppi said.

"You met him?" Kiiro asked. "I don't think I have. What happened?"

(Kuro-chan flashback mode XD)

"Oi! KIBA!" seven-year-old Naruto ran up to Kuroppi's adopted older brother. "What's with the girl? Is she Sasuke's twin or something?"

Kuroppi, age six, shot the loud blonde and annoyed look. "I'm an Inzuka," she said darkly. Fuyu and Akamaru barked in agreement.

"Oh!" Naruto's eyes widened. "Maybe the Uchiha and Inuzuka clans are related?"

Kiba shook his head. "Naruto, we'Inuzuka're no where near related to those stuck-ups. Besides, she's my sister!" The dog-boy smirked. "She's too cute to be an Uchiha!"

Kuroppi giggled for effect. Naruto stared at her for a second, then nodded.

"Well, I gotta go make Iruka-sensei buy me ramen! Later!" Naruto grinned and ran off.

(End Kuro-chan flashback mode XD)

"Oh, I see. HA! Naruzumaki thought you were Uchihasuke!" Kiiro giggled. "I get it!"

"Hmmm..." Kiba thought for a moment. "Kiiro, have you ever tried ramen?"

Kiiro sighed. "I lived off the stuff when I was really little, but in truth I haven't had ramen since before I ran away."

"Didn't they send anyone after you?" Kon questioned.

The blonde idiot (not Naruto) nodded hyperishly. "They did! But the council wanted me as a ninja since I'm Warai Mamoka's child!"

"Was she really that good?" Kuroppi asked doubtfully.

"Mamoka-san was the best kunoichi in Konoha when it came to scaring people!" Tsume recalled, walking in. "She was on the Interrogations squad! Almost gave Ibiki a run for his money!"

"Bet she got along well with Anko-sensei," Kon chuckled.

Hana nodded. "Uchiha Mikoto, Mitarashi Anko, and Warai Kiiro, thick as theives. if Orochimaru hadn't gained an interest in your sensei, she probably would've been on their team instead of Shizune-san."

Tsume nodded, then stared at Kiiro. "Kiiro-chan...? Why are you wearing a shirt with a huge hole in it? There's bloodstains on it too..."

"It's my favorite shirt!" Kiiro said quickly. She was still wearing the same shirt she;d been wearing when Kuroppi killed her in Orochimaru's lair. There was, as Tsume had said, a huge hole and bloodstains on it.

Kon rolled her eyes. "Kiiro, please tell me you have more than one shirt."

"I wash it at night!" Kiiro protested. "So there's nothing wrong with it!"

Hana glared at kiiro and left the room. When she came back in five mintues later, she was holding up a dark blue shirt that crossed over on the wearer's left.

"You will wear this," she said, in a tone that implied that she would not allow anything else. "And you will take the other three just like it. No way in hell we're letting my little sister's friend go around shirtless."

"I'm not!" Kiiro said, tugging the sleeve of her (too-small, ripped-up, bloodstained) shirt for emphasis.

"With a shirt like that you'd be better off without one," Tsume said. "Take Hana's shirts. NOW."

Kiiro sweatdropped and accepted the shirts. "Thank you, I guess..."

"Couldn't you have used the money from the mission where your shirt got ripped up to buy a new one?" Kiba asked Kiiro.

"... Good point."

"Now give Hana-neesan back those shirts, they're Kuroppi-chan's by right." Kiba glared darkly.

Kiiro, having been glared at by Kuroppi several times in her life, was unnafected by this glare. "They were given to me, Kibaka, so, by right, they are mine." She glared at Kiba.

Kiba, having not been glared at Kuroppi as many times as Kiiro had, was creeped out, even though Kiiro was not the best at glaring, because he had never seen Kiiro glare at anyone before.

"She has a point there," Hana chuckled. "Get off it, Kiba."

"Okay, Okay," Kiba mumbled, "Naruto look-alike."

Kiiro exploded. "I DO NOT LOOK LIKE NARUTO!!!"

"Yes, you do," Fuyu chuckled walking into the room. She grabbed the bone Akamaru was chewing on from him, and walked out (Akamaru yipping angrily at her).

"Besides..." Kiro said, "Kibaka, you have the same hairdo as Naruto does, so are you really one to talk?"

"My hairdo doesn't look like Naruto's!" Kiba yelled at her.

Kiiro smirked. "Oh yes it does!"

"Doesn't!"

"Does!"

"Doesn't!"

"Does!"

The one to interrupt this argument was Kon, who was trying to fall asleep on the couch.

"You BOTH look like Naruto, now Shut. Up." This was followed by a massive killer intent that made Orochimaru look like a soft, cuddly bunny rabbit.

Silence reigned for the rest of the evening.

The next morning, Kiiro woke up with her hair cut short.

"KIIIIIIBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Aki looked up from the mission report she was filling out. "Honemashi? Did you hear something just now?"

"No," the Kaguya boy said groggily, plugging in the coffee maker.

"I did," Haku offered. "It sounded a little like Kiiro."

Honemashi chuckled. "Only you would say that."

"No, really! And it sounds like she's angry..."

"Hahahahahahaha! Ahahahahaha! Ha!" Anko was rolling on the ground, laughing. "You really do look like him now!"

"Not helping, Anko-sensei..." Kiiro said dangerously, the stock of dange she was holding snapping in two.

"Ahahaha! Well, it doesn't matter anyway, because of the training you three are you going to do starting tomorrow..." Anko grinning evilly. "Pack enough food for a week, warm clothes, and all your weapons. Meet me tomorrow in fornt of Trainign Area 44..."

Kuroppi and Kiiro paled slightly, and Kon raised her eyebrows at Anko. "The Forest of Death...?"

Anko nodded fervently. "The very same! All you three have to do is survive a week in there. Don't worry, if anyone almost dies I'll probably save them. But I won't be visible to anyone, so forget that."

Team Four stood in front of Training Area 44, all shaking in fear.

"A week?" Kiiro gaped. "In there?" She had gotten her hair evened out so it was less messy, and it layed a little flatter on her head, but she still looked eerily like Naruto, as several people had already pointed out. Kuroppi, in particular, was teasing her a lot, because of the many years she'd been compared to Sasuke. In other words, our favorite dumb blonde (besides Naruto) was in a very bad mood indeed.

Anko nodded. "This is the same training I received when I was your age? It's called 'One Week In Hell' or a 'Hell-week' for short."

"The same training you received when you were our age?" Kon asked. "Before or after you got the curse mark? And no offense, but I don't think the person who trained you has the best of judgement..."

Anko grinned. "No matter. Trust me, under Orochimaru, a Hell-week was nothing. By the time I'm done with you three, you'll be used to it as well."

Kon nodded.

"Why are we doing this again?" Kuroppi asked.

Anko smirked. "I'm so glad you asked, Kuro-chan! You see, Kon-chan passed the chuunin exams last time, but you people weren't ready yet, so they put her with Asuma's team."

"Isn't Ino on that team?" Kiiro asked.

"Yes," Kon groaned, "She is."

"ANYWAY!" Anko boomed. "I want you all to pass the exam your first time, because it'll make me look good. It hasn't been decided who your third teammate for the exams will be yet, but for now the three--" Fuyu growled. "Excuse me, four of you will do Hell-weeks at least once every month, possibly with additional tasks to do, until the time for the chuunin exam comes again. Then, we all get on the wagon to Amegakure (Rain Village), where the exams are. And then we'll al be chuunin and we won't have chores as missions!"

"YAY for not catching that damn cat Tora!" Kiiro yelled, pumping her first in the air.

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Me: w00t! finally done! next time, we'll all be going to the chuunin exams and we'll meet a bunch of new people.

Pein (aka teh leader of Akatsuki): Did I hear Amegakure? Does this meanI and my henchmen will make an appearance?

Me: (evil laughter) we'll see.

Pein: Be sure to get my good side!

Me: Pein, in fanfiction there is no good side. We don't see pictures.

Pein: I hate you.

Kuroppi: Next time on Anko Plus Gennin Equals: Pure Chaos, I'm going to see one of my blood brother, Kon's going to beat up Daidaiiro again, and Kiiro's going to act stupid. Do you need any other reasons to read it when it comes out?

Kiiro: ... (listens to reasons) That's not a valid reason! Screw you. Now REVIEW!