Me: I wrote another chapter, finally got around to it!
Banshou: Yaaaay! Shashuko, the Paisley Maiden doesn't own Naruto...
Me: But I do own Groundhog Day! Happy Groundhog Day, and thanks for being sooo patient with meh. ON TO THE FICCY!
Kiiro pressed herself flat against a tree in the Forest of Death. Her target was standing on a branch, about twenty feet, away, and didn't seem to see her.
'Now what?' Kiiro thought to herself. 'I'm out of kunai and shuriken, and I don't really have any techniques beyond the basics-- WAIT! Scratch that!'
She bit her thumb and pressed in on the ground, mumblind to herself, "Kuchiyose no jutsu!"
The target looked up. "Kiiro-chan, that isn't going to work. You can only summon that baby fox Ussura, and she can't do much--" A dark orange fox that was decidedly larger than Ussura bowled her over.
"Did you say something about me sister?" He growled. "I don't care if you ARE my sister's teammate, you take that back NOW!"
The person Anzentenkou had pinned into a tree was Kon.
"Okay, okay, I take it back," Kon said. "BUT, still... SEN'EI TA-JASHU!"
Hundreds apon hundred of snakes lept out of Kon's long, red sleeves and pinned Anzentenko to a tree.
"I think I win this round, Kiiro. Come out or my snakes will find--" Another fox, this one a lighter hue, slammed her into another tree, causing her to let go of the darker one.
"Good one, Tanshokutenko-sama!" Kiiro cheered, coming out from behind the tree.
Anzentenko pulled a face. "What about me?"
"Oh all right," Kiiro chuckled, "You too."
The reason Kiiro and Kon were in Training Area 44, you ask? Well, Anko never had them do Hell-weeks anywhere else, you see, so they shouldn't have been anywhere else at this time. This was their ninth Hell-week so far.
"Will you buy us Inarizushi?" Tanshokutenko asked eagerly as Anzentenko aided him in pinning Kon against the trunk of the large tree, being sure to put extra pressure on her arms to she could send him flying again (Inarizushi is a sweet fried tofu pocket wrapped around rice, a favorite of the kitsune in Japanese folklore).
"Okay, I will," Kiiro laughed. Suddenly, she gasped. "WAIT!"
"What?" Kon asked.
"Where'd Kuro-chan go? The goal of this Hell-week was to get a scroll from her, wasn't it?"
Both girls sweatdropped. Since the person out of the two of them who didn't get the scroll from Kuroppi had to buy dango for the whole team (Anko and Fuyu included), and this was the las day of the Hell-week, they had gotten more than a little carried away.
"Hmmmm... Temporary truce? We both want that scroll, so we can get it, then fight over it later," Kiiro said. "Oh, no wait... the chances of me winning that fight are very low. Work together, then decide the outcome over rock-paper-scissors?"
"Rock-paper scissors?" Kon asked. Kiiro nodded.
"Rock-paper-scissors. What kind of idiot would decide something like this over rock-paper-scissors?"
"I know someone who walked around the village a hundred times on his hands over a game of rock-paper-scissors!" Kiiro objected. "And his student walked a good percentage of the way with him. So, that makes rock-paper-scissors important, at least to those two."
"You know increasingly weird people," Kon decided.
Kiiro giggled. "People with problems," she agreed, thinking of Honemashi (because Honemashi has problems).
"You guys, I've got a watch and there's five minutes left before this Hell-week is over, so hurry up and catch me," chuckled Kuroppi suddenly from high above them. "I've been up here for all seven days."
Like a flash, the two foxes holding Kon let go of her and jumped up to reach the Uchiha heiress.
Like a mallet, she smashed them down with her fists.
"You gotta do better than that," she taunted, "Geez, Kiiro, do you have any jutsu besides the summoning and the basic academy ones?"
Kiiro hung her head. "No, ma'am."
"And if the fate of the mission was in your hands, would this be a help, or a hindrance?"
"A hindrance..." Kiiro sighed.
Kuroppi smirked from her position high up in the trees. "Good girl. Have a scroll." She tossed the scroll down to Kiiro as her digital watch (bought with Uchiha clan funds) started beeping. "Times' up!"
Anko appeared before them in a puff of smoke. "Good job! Kon-chan's buying us all dango. BUT FIRST! Go take shower, all of you! You smell almost as bad as like you rolled in Ibiki's dirty laundry!"
Kiiro grinned pervertedly at her. "And how would you know what Ibiki's dirty laundry smells like, Anchan-sensei dearest?"
"Lost a bet... had to do it for a week..." Anko lied.
Kiiro sniffed herself. "And it smelled worse than I do now?"
Anko nodded, and everyone shivered collectively.
Kiiro made a face at her own reflection in the mirror.
"I really do look like Naruto with my hair like this..." She blew a rasberry and fiddled with her wet hair, sending drops down onto her fuzzy blue bathrobe. "It's been almost five months since Kiba cut it, and I still can't get over it! Why must I suck in this way?"
"Kiiro, you suck in every way," Ussura pointed out, sitting down on Kiiro's vanity table.
Kiiro petted the small fox demon absentmindedly. "I know..." she sighed. "I really need to learn more jutsu."
"Well..." Ussura said. "You know... we demons use jutsu too. Maybe I or my niisans could teach you..."
Kiiro's eyes got bigger than basketballs. "Really?" She whispered, awed by the idea of learning jutsu used by demons.
The chibi kitsune shrugged. "We'll see. I'll ask Mesu-baasama."
"Who's that?" Kiiro asked curiously.
Ussura beamed proudly. "My obaachan(grandma) of course! Since Ojiichan's stuck in that kid Naruto, she's ruling the fox demons right now in his place. She was also the only one who could reason with him when he was drunk..."
Kiiro twitched. "Kyuubi-sama got drunk?"
Ussura nodded. "His intoxication can last centuries. Literally. Actually, now that I think of it, he was drunk when he attacked this village."
"Well, that explains a lot. I always thought we'd done something to make him angry, or he just felt like smashing something, like when I used to burn ants with a spyglass or put salt on slugs when I was little," Kiiro thought aloud.
"Don't compare demons to you humans," Ussura growled dangerously.
Kiiro giggled. "Sorry, I like demons too much to do that. You really are a higher life form."
"And don't I know it!" Ussura crowed.
Anko raised her sake glass high. "Here's to a Hell-week well done!"
Kiiro cheered and raised her mug of hot chocolate. "I got free dango!" She cheered.
Kon muttered a few choice words under her breath.
"You're welcome, by the way," Kuroppi hinted.
"Oh, yeah. Sorry Kuro-chan! Thanks a ton!" Kiiro grinned, putting in her dango in her mouth. "Ahhhh-mmm."
Kuroppi's response was to hit her head on the table. "Please, don't make weird noises when you eat..."
"Ah-hem!" Anko slurred slightly. "I have something for Kuroppi and Kiiro!"
"You do?" Kiiro asked eagerly. "What is it?"
She held out two cards dramatically in a manner reminiscent to Yu-gi-oh! (oh, give her a break. she's drunk). "You two are going to the chuunin exams!"
"WOOHOOO!" Kiiro said, jumping up and hitting her head on the ceiling with a loud 'THUD' sound. "Owwwww..."
"And this, children, is why we don't do crack," Kon said in a serious voice, causing Kuroppi, Anko, and even the one who'd inspired this remark, Kiiro, to laugh.
"Neeee..." Kiiro said, "Anchan-sensei? Kon-chan already passed the test, so who're we taking it with?"
Anko smirked. "Did Gai or Kakashi ever tell you about their eighty-sixth challenge?" When everybody shook their head, Anko continued. "Gai had just taken in his team..."
---- (Anko Flashback Mode)----
"Kakashi, my eternal rival!" Gai ran up to Kakashi grinning. "Let us see whose team is stronger-- mine or yours!"
Kakashi looked boredly at the spandex-wearing lunatic. "My team didn't pass... maybe next year."
"Then I have our next challenge!" Gai said exitedly. "Pick someone from your failed team and train them for a month, and I'll train my students. Then, one of my students will be picked at random to fight your pupil!"
"Hmmm..." Kakashi said. "The odds are definitely in my favor here... sure. Why not? One of them seemed promising enough."
---- (End Flashback Mode)----
"That person was trained by Kakashi," Anko concluded.
"Did he win?" Kiiro asked excitedly. "Is that the person who's gonna be on our team?"
Anko smirked. "To answer your questions, no she didn't win against the 'randomly picked' person, who just happened to be Neji, the strongest person on the team at the time, but she got pretty close. And yes, she'll be working with you. Once Kakashi trained her for that month, he ditched her and she continued to get stronger, and she's ready to take the exam."
"Who is it?" Kiiro asked excitedly.
Anko smirked. "We can go over that later. In the meantime, I'd like you to meet the people you'll be carpooling with to the exams!"
"Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirooooooooooooo-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"
Kasshukosuna no Banshou ran right into Kiiro.
"Banchan!" Kiiro squealed. "You're carpooling with us?"
Banshou nodded. "Me, your team, my team, Aki-sama's team, and the other caravan's got GAARA in it!" she hugged Kiiro tighter.
"Good for you!" Kiiro cheered, "And I had a feeling Aki was near here. But I can't breath right now!" she pushed Banshou's arms off of herself, and they fell off.
"Oops," Banshou laughed. "Good thing I'm wearing a tank top." She giggled and regrew her arms.
"Which reminds me," Kiiro said, "Do I have any cool powers like yours or Honemashi's?"
"Being stuck the same age for the rest of your life is NOT cool," Honemashi said, appearing from behind Banshou.
"Stuck...?" Kiiro asked. "You mean you've been seven years old since you died?"
"Eight!" Honemashi yelled. He sighed. "Eight years old for time and all eternity... that's why I wasn't interested in Orochimaru's offer of eternal youth. I already have that... and it sucks." He pulled a face. "Anyone going after my condition has problems. Major problems."
Kon nodded. "This is Orochimaru we're talking about here. He was born with problems."
"Remember who you are before you speak," Anko slurred. "If he was born with problems, then so were you."
Kon's response was to glare at her sensei. "I'm not the one who's drinking a third supersized bottle of sake."
"So their sensei has problems too...?" Honemashi asked himself.
"Hmmm..." Kon said. "Well, I'd say... yes. In fact, she almost makes Orochimaru look normal..."
"Heeeey! If I wasssshn't drunk, I'd find that offeeeeeeeending."
"Haku?" Aki asked, rapping on the wagon door. "You've been in there all day. You coming out?"
"Are we leaving soon?" Haku asked, avoiding the question. He was huddled in acorner, wrapped in a blanket, with his iPod turned on full blast.
Aki smiled. "At least you're not acting like I own you anymore. That was creepy."
"You don't, I just owe you my life," Haku retorted.
A second voice spoke from outside, coming from a girl about Kiiro's age. "Is this where Team Anko is putting their stuff?"
"Yes," said Aki's voice, "It is. Why?"
"I'm going with them. Can I put my stuff...?"
"How can we trust you?" Aki asked suspiciously.
A third, male voice answered. "Trust me. You can."
Haku gasped. That voice was Hatake... Kakashi...
The man who killed him.
"Kiiro, did you pack everything?" Kuroppi asked for the third time. On the last mission where they left the village, Kiiro had forgotten her hairbrush and borrowed Kuroppi's. It had broken in Kiiro's hair.
"Yes, mother," Kiiro said, rolling her eyes, "I even checked. Twice. Happy?"
"Yes!" Banshou answered, even though kiiro was talking to her. Both Beatles fans laughed at this, leaving Kon in particular weirded out.
"There's the wagon!" Anko said, pointing at one of the wagons in the distance. "Kakashi and the other gennin are already there talking to Aki!"
"NEW TEAMMATE!!!" Kiiro ran for the wagons.
Haku held his breath. He didn't regret dying, but he couldn't help but be a little afraid of the person who had killed him. He wasn't completely naive.
"This is my former student," Kakashi was saying. "Since Kon already took the exams, she'll be going with Team four in Kon's place."
"Aki-saaamaaaaa!" Kiiro ran and glomped the Hokou junchuuriki. "How are ya?"
Aki sweatdropped. "I'm fine... is there any particular reason you're hugging me?"
"Hugging people is my new hobby!" was Kiiro's explanation. "I hug all my friends! Except Kon-chan."
"Why don't you hug Kon?" Kakashi prodded. "Is it because she's technically Orochimaru?"
"Nope!" Kiiro giggled. "I don't hug her because she asked me not to!"
"Oh..." Kakashi said. "That makes sense..."
"Hi!" said the girl standing behind Kakashi. Her light brown hair was tied in a braid that fell over her left shoulder. Her outfit consisted of a light blue spandex suit (with short legs and no sleeves) that had a light skirt over it, orange leg-warmers, and blue... those weird shoes that ninja wear. Most notable, however, were the sandy cat ears on her head and her bushy cat tail.
"I love your ears and tail!" Kiiro gushed. "Where'd you get them?"
"They're real. I got them from a rock-nin on one of my missions."
Aki raised her eyebrows. "Nii Yugiito?"
The girl nodded. "That's the one!"
"She's the Nekomata junchuuriki," Aki noted. "The ears and tail are a gift from the Nibi, the two-tails."
Kiiro gasped. "A new bloodline limit?"
"Probably," Aki said. She turned to the catgirl."What's your name, anyway?"
The girl smiled. "I'm Detarame Koneko!" She said.
"Nice to meet you, Neko-chan!" Kiiro giggled. "I'm Warai Kiiro and I'm gonna be your teammate for the exam. The other person on our team for the exams, is--"
Kuroppi appears behind Kiiro."I can introduce myself, Smart One."
Kiiro stuck out her tongue at Kuroppi, who rolled her eyes in response. "And before you ask, NO I am not Uchiha Sasuke. My name is Inuzuka Kuroppi, and this is Fuyu."
Fuyu grinned wolfishly. "Someone gifted by the Nekomata... this'll be interesting."
"Didn't Nekomata-sama and Hokou-sama have some sort of alliance at some point?" Kiiro thought aloud.
Aki's hair turned white and Hokou's voice spoke. "Yes, we did. We were trying to stop Youko during one of his drunken rages."
"Youko?" Neko asked. "Who's that?"
"The Kyuubi-sama," Kiiro explained.
Neko stared at her. "Kyuubi-sama?"
Kiiro nodded. "Yes. Sama. I happen to respect demons no matter WHO they attack when they're drunk."
"Kyuubi was drunk?" Neko laughed. "How do you know that?"
"My summons told me," Kiiro clarified. "So... you'll be taking the exam with us, right?"
Neko nodded.
"Well, then!" Kiiro hugged Neko. "Let's be friends!"
"Okay!" Neko said.
Kakashi sighed. "This is why I only trained her for a month... why must she jump to conclusions to easily? What a clueless ninja..."
"So this is Konoha, huh, Daidaiiro?" a short blonde Suna-nin asked the taller, red-haired puppeteer.
"Yes, Akaii, it is," Daidaiiro said.
"So..."Akaii said. "Why are we walking aimlessly through the streets?"
"I'm looking for that girl who beat me in the last Chuunin exams. I want a rematch," explained Daidaiiro.
"Kukuku..."
Kon stepped out form behind tree. "You know I'll just beat you again, right?"
Daidaiiro smirked. "We'll see..." He reached for a scroll on his belt.
Kon disappeared and was suddenly next to Daidaiiro, who was punched to the ground.
"I win." And Kon walked away.
"Haa-kun!" Kiiro called. "You in there?"
Kuroppi pushed Kiiro away from the door. "HAKU!" she yelled. "Unlock that door or I break in and Mangekyou your ASS off! We need to put our stuff in the caravan!"
"Coming!" Haku opened the door. He was wearing a white tank top and grey plaid boxers.
"You woke me up," Haku mumbled.
Aki looked over at Kiiro. "I'm sure she did," she laughed.
Kuroppi nodded. "She took yelling lessons from Kiba-niisan. That makes her the second loudest person in the village."
Haku looked at Kiiro and gasped. "Kiiro, your hair!"
Kiiro laughed nervously. "Speaking of Kuro-chan's brother..." she growled, "He has anger issues." The fox-summoner stroked her hair self-conciously. "And now I look like a boy..." she whined.
"No, no you don't!" Haku said quickly, waving his hands frantically.
Kiiro laughed downheartedly. "Oh, come off it. Even you look more like a girl than me, and you're wearing the classic Manly Sleep-Wear outfit!" she gestured at Haku's (thin, tight) shirt, and he blushed and ran back into the caravan, proceeding to drape a flannel blanket around himself.
Kuroppi and Aki smirked at him.
"He's got it so bad," Anko chuckled, then turned to Kiiro. "Manly Sleep-Wear?"
Kiiro nodded earnestly. "Boxers with a tank top," she explained.
Kuroppi shook her head. "Where the hell do you come up with these things?"
"Anko-sensei, you're not coming?" Kiiro asked, eyes big and wide. Everyone was about to leave and all the stuff was packed into the caravan.
Anko nodded. "The sensei of a team can only train on of his or her student for the exams, and I already trained Kon here. Kiiro, you're going to be trained by Kakashi."
Kiiro looked confused. "But shouldn't he train Neko-chan?"
Koneko shook her head. "Baka-kashi-sensei trained Sasuke for the exams, but he can train you too because you're not his student."
Kiiro nodded. "Oh... that makes sense. Who's training Kuro-chan then? Since Kakashi's trained Sasuke, then wouldn't that be better--"
"My training was arranged for someone else a month ago," Kuroppi interjected. "Or, at least, this is what I'm told. Whoever it was, the council member who told me seemed pretty scared..." She smirked. "They must be pretty damn strong. I'm meeting them in Amegakure."
Kiiro nodded. "They must be. But the council called you to tell you you're gonna be trained by someone, and they won't tell you who? That just seems stupid."
"Councils often are," Aki sighed. "As Honemashi would put it, they have problems."
"I'll have to agree with you, there," a voice near them said monotonously. "I find the best way to get around them is to become higher ranked then they are."
It was a man wearing white and blue robes and a pointy hat with the symbol for 'wind' on it.
Another man, this one wearing a hat with kitty ears on it and black long johns, looked at Kiiro and chuckled.
"And here, I thought Naruto had no living relatives," The man laughed.
Kiiro's eyes widened. "That's it!" She turned to face Kuroppi. "Maybe Naruto is related to me, on my Dad's side, and that's why the council won't tell me! The council hates that guy!" The demon-lover's face turned from happy to angry. "The council..."
"The council?" Koneko asked cluelessly.
Kiiro nodded. "The council!" She yelled. "They don't like me either, so obviouslythey wouldn't want me talking to him!" She smirked.
Gaara's eyes narrowed at Kiiro. He had just met her, and already he didn't like her. She seemed to be another stupid narrow-minded person who hated demons--
"Well, that settles it!" Kiiro cheered. "When Uzumaki Naruto returns to Konoha, I'm going to introduce myself!"
Kuroppi smirked. "Yeah. just don't keep your hair short," she advised, "or when you met him, he'll think Orochimaru cloned him."
Kiiro head hung. "I really do look like a boy, don't I?"
The cat-hatted man spoke up. "Well, Uzumaki Naruto looks like you, so I suppose you could say that you look like a boy, or that he looks like a girl. It works both ways."
Kiiro shook her head. "I've been mistaken for him ever since I showed up here in Konoha, and he's probably never been mistaken for me."
The man in Kazekage robes spoke. "How can you know that?"
"Because people in Konoha knew Naruto's face first, and you never mistake someone for someone you haven't met," Kiiro explained. "It all comes down to logic!"
"Because he's older," Kuroppi added for the two sand-nin's benefit.
Kiiro chuckled. "Oh, they don't just know him because he's older..." She chuckled.
Before Kuroppi or the cat-hatted man, (Gaara, of course, knew exactly what Kiiro was talking about), Banshou ran to greet everybody from... wherever she had been before.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" She squealed, running to death-glomp Gaara.
"I was wondering about that," the cat-hatted man said thoughtfully. "Gaara, why doesn't the sands block you from being hugged?"
"Kankurou, the sand only blocks movements made with an attempt to hurt me," Gaara sighed. "Banshou is hugging me, not throwing things at me, so the sand lets her come closer to me than most people."
"So, Temari's chronic fear of hugging you for the first ten years of your life was ill-placed?" Kankurou asked.
Gaara glared at his older brother. "Yes."
"Someone was afraid of hugging you?" Kiiro asked, in awe.
"Everyone was afraid of hugging me," Gaara said, turning his glare to the blonde gennin in front of him.
"Wow. That really sucks," Kiiro noted. "I feel bad for you. Hugging is the ultimate win. How could you have not been hugged all that time!"
"I hugged him!" Banshou said. "But he didn't seem to like it much for a long, long time."
"Oh, I see," Kuroppi said. "Where did your teammates go? We have to go soon..."
"We're right behind you," came a small voice from behind Kuroppi.
Another voice added, "Wow, she really is a Smart One."
The two people behind Kuroppi were, of course, Daidaiiro and Akaii.
"Akasuna no Daidaiiro, right?" Kiiro asked. "I saw you fight my teammate Kon-chan."
Daidaiiro nodded. "You're the one whose friend stabbed her in the back."
"Stomach," corrected Banshou, Kuroppi, and Kiiro in unison. "I/She stabbed Kiiro/me in the stomach."
The red-headed puppeteer shrugged. "Okay then. This is Bakemonokawa Akaii." He gestured at the little blonde boy standing next to him. "Kiiro here might call him Akachan."
Kiiro giggled. "With that build? He's Chibi Akachan."
Kuroppi just stared at Akaii. "Sooo... cuuute..." she gushed.
Kiiro turned to her teammate the Uchiha. "Hug him?"
Kuroppi thought for a moment. "... Hell, yes."
Kiiro and Kuroppi both grinned evilly, then approached Akaii very slowly and gave him a loooong hug.
Akaii's face turned white and he started squirming. "Leggoofme! Leggoleggo!"
"But you're so cuuuuute..." the much larger and more than slightly deranged girls hugged him chimed in unison.
"I'M NOT CUUUTE!" Akaii yelled. "Notcute-notcute-notcute!"
Daidaiiro smirked. "He doesn't like being called cute," he informed the huggers.
"The applicants for the chuunin exam will be arriving soon," noted a lady with blue hair. "What are we going to do...? Pein."
The man sitting in the shadows grinned. "True, Konan, true. Some of our targets will be here, as well as... that girl. Miki!"
A tall girl with light brown hair bowed low. "Yes, Pein-sama!"
"I'm going to put you and your team into these exams so you can find out about these people. Understood."
Miki looked up. "Of course, Pein-sama! I'll do anything!"
Pein smirked. "I thought so."
Finally, Team Four (sans Kon, plus Neko) were on their way to the village Hidden in the Rain. They'd been riding for three hours...
"Road trips are borrrriiiiiinnnng," Kiiro whined.
Haku smiled softly. "They're not that bad if you can entertain yourself."
"But how I am I gonna do thaaaaaat?" Kiiro pointed out, still cranky.
Honemashi smirked. "Yeah, Haku, how is she gonna entertain herself?"
"Maybe yooouuu could entertain her..." Aki teased.
Haku went red and looked away. "You guys..."
Kiiro looked around blankly. "I don't get it," she announced. "... Hey, look! That wagon's got the Iwa symbol on it!"
"Shhh, Kiiro, not so loud!" Kuroppi whispered. "Iwa's still upset with us over the Shinobi War!"
"All Iwa-nin pretty much automatically hate all Konoha-nin," Neko added.
Yelling could be heard from the Iwa wagon.
"Yeah, 'cause Konoha-nin all suck! You know they killed--" a boy's voice yelled angrily.
He was quieted by a girl's voice. "Not everyone from the same place is the same! One of my childhood friends ran away from home to be a ninja in Konoha, and if it's that important to my friend, then they can't be that bad."
Kiiro looked up. Her eyes widened. She ran for the back of the wagon and poked her head out the door, smiling...
"FUJI-CHAN?!?"
Kuro: ... what? a new chapter? of THIS fic? ... from YOU?!? I was sure you'd given up or something...
Me: Only goes to show! I have far too much spare time on my hands. Next time on Anko Plus Gennin Equals: Pure Chaos!
Kiiro: OMG it's Fuji-chan from my old hometown!
Kuro: You ran away? YOU ran away? From home?
Kon: I have a hard time believing that... Kiiro isn't that sort of person. She's to much of a goody-two-shoes...
Kiiro: HEY!!!