I'm so glad that it seems like those of you reading are enjoying everything so far :D

I did take certain facts and plot decisions from the last couple PP episodes but I also plan on putting my own little take on the Amelia situation.
Hopefully I did everyone's character justice in this chapter :)

As always, enjoy and tell me what you think!

This has been edited. Sorry about all the typos.

Chapter 4

She was so little.

That was Derek's first thought upon entering the mediation room. More "calming" colors greeted him but in a green, earthy pallet this time. The walls were a deep green with dark brown trim to match the very large bookshelf placed behind a man Derek had never met but assumed was the mediator Addison had mentioned.

Amelia sat curled up in an overstuffed chair to the mediator's left. She was dressed in sweats and she looked like she had lost weight she couldn't afford to lose.

He didn't know the woman in front of him. Except her eyes. Her eyes were the only thing he still recognized as Amelia. The same deep blue, expressive eyes that they had both received from their late father. But right now they just looked empty. Where did his loud, fearless sister go?

"You must be Derek?" questioned the man Derek had barely noticed a moment ago.

"I'm Dr. Taylor," he said as he rose from his chair and offered Derek his hand in greeting.

"Hello," Derek responded. He accepted Dr. Taylor's offered hand but couldn't take his eyes off Amelia.

"Why don't you take a seat and we'll get started." He motioned to a couple empty chairs as Derek's seating options and took his own seat again.

"So, Amy," Derek started as after lowering himself into the cushions. "Care to explain why my wife was throwing a suitcase and a plane ticket at me at 6 am this morning?" He couldn't stop the bitterness from seeping into his words. He promised himself before he walked in the room to hear her out before making any snap judgments. A promise he had apparently already forgotten.

"Derek, please," Amelia said in a monotone Derek didn't recognize.

Dr. Taylor took it upon himself to interject, "I think it would be best if we let Amelia explain why you're here, okay?"

Amelia was staring intently at her folded hands that lay in her lap.

"I asked you and mom to be here to apologize and because I need help."

She finally raised her head again.

"I know we made some sort of amends during my last visit to Seattle and I know that's all gone to crap now, but I'm trying here, Derek."

Some emotion was starting to return to her face, but if anything it made it made it harder for Derek to look at her. His baby sister wasn't supposed to feel pain. She shouldn't know the kind of hurt that was currently shinning behind her eyes even existed.

"I know what you're going to say. I know I should have known better after last time. I know I should have been thinking about what all this would do to mom. But you don't know what I've been through these last few months. Two people that I loved have died. And both of their deaths have been my fault."

The tears were now flowing freely down her pale face, but she made no move to dry them.

"I don't want to be like this anymore. I'm done with detox but that doesn't mean I still don't want the pills. I want them every second of every day. Because being high is so much better than the pain. My fiancé is dead, Derek. Because I wanted one last hurrah before quitting the Oxycotin. The man I love is gone because of me. How would you feel if it was Meredith?"

"No!" Derek shouted abruptly, "You do not get to compare my wife to your fling who fed your drug habit! The people who love you don't feed addictive, clearly fatal and destructive tendencies."

"It wasn't Ryan's fault! It was my idea in the first place! I'm trying to talk to you, Derek, but don't you dare belittle the love we had just because it doesn't live up to you and your perfect standards," she spit out viciously.

"This isn't about me, Amelia! This is about you and the fact that you seem to have no sense of self preservation! The last time you used, you died for 3 minutes. For three fucking minutes my sister was dead. So don't you dare try to tell me I don't know what that feels like."

"Okay," Dr. Taylor finally interjected. "I think this is a good area to take a break. This is a hard thing for families to deal with and it would be best for everyone to just take a breather. We'll take a quick break? Maybe an hour for lunch? Then we can resume once we've all had a chance to calm down."

"Fine," Derek said curtly before jumping out of his chair and whipping the door closed behind him.

Meredith anxiously tapped her foot against the cool marble tiles. Addison had left and Derek had just disappeared behind the door that Amelia was supposed to be on the other side of.

"Coffee, dear?"

Carolyn's kind voice broke through her anxious thoughts of how Derek was doing. She had risen from her once seated position next to Meredith and was now looking down at her questioningly.

"Uhhh…No. No, thank you," she stumbled through her response.

"Are you sure?" Carolyn asked with obvious concern. "You look dead on your feet."

Meredith was able to offer her mother-in-law a reassuring smile before declining her offer once more.

"If you're sure, dear. I'm going to go get a refill."

She came back a minute later with a full cup of steaming coffee and promptly resumed her spot next to Meredith.

"So, Meredith," Carolyn turned in her seat to face Meredith. "How is everything coming along with getting me my 15th grandbaby?"

"It's going well now actually," she responded with her first real smile of the day. "We actually have plans of signing the final paperwork sometime this week. We may have to move it though. I wasn't sure what Derek would want to do once we got here," her smile fading slightly at the acknowledgment of their situation.

"Oh no! You're missing your appointment?"

"No, not yet. Janet, our social worker, gave us a tentative time frame for when the paper work would be ready and promised to call when it was. We were expecting her call this week. But I called her office before we left and explained the situation. We'll work something out," she stated with confidence. "Derek needed to be here."

Carolyn nodded in what could have either been agreement or understanding. Meredith didn't know.

"I'm so sorry," Meredith whispered. "I can't imagine having your child go through this," attempting (and failing in her opinion) to console the older woman next to her.

"It's alright," Carolyn responded without hesitation. She clasped Meredith's hand within her own, accepting the comfort Meredith was offering. "This family is strong. We've been through a lot and a lot of horrible things have happened. But we'll survive this just as we've survived everything else."

She squeezed Meredith's hand and slightly indicated to the door concealing Derek and Amelia, "This is what family is for. We stand by each other no matter what."

Carolyn Shepherd was everything Meredith wanted to be as a mother. Yes, her mother had been a strong woman in some aspects. But she let the horrible things in her past break her as well. She let them affect her ability to be what Meredith needed her to be as a mother. Carolyn, on the other hand, lost the love of her life far too soon but stayed strong and raised 5 wonderful children on her own. She knew Derek loved and respected his mother beyond words. She could only hope that her own children looked up her that way some day.

The two women fell into a comfortable silence, hands still tightly grasped together, but lost in their own thoughts.

Meredith couldn't help but think that, even at its worst, being a part of a family; being a part of this family, was pretty damn good.

I never really believed this before I started writing, but reviews really do make authors write faster! Lol!
Knowing that there are people actually reading and patiently waiting for the next chapter is more than enough to get me to sit my butt down and write :)

Let me know what you think!