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Chapter Six

Katniss picked up the phone as soon as they walked into their hotel room that evening.

"Calling Gale?" Peeta asked.

"Yeah, this is so weird. I need to tell him." She put the phone to her ear and sat down on the couch.

Finn answered, "Hello?"

"Hey, Finn." She said. "How are you?"

"Good, I guess?"

"You guess?"

"I didn't really want to come back from our vacation."

"I know how that feels."

"Would you like to talk to Dad?"

She was caught off guard by that for a moment and hesitated. "Uh, sure. Let me talk to…Dad." She made a face at Peeta.

"Hi, Catnip." Gale said as he got on the phone.

"Hi, Dad." She teased.

"Is there something wrong with that?" He asked defensively.

"Not at all, I was just surprised."

"Well, he's my son just as much as he's Finnick's. And he decided I was his Dad. I was just as shocked at first."

"Yeah, I bet. But you like it?

"I do." She could hear the pride in his voice.

"So, any news about your mother's wedding?"

He groaned. "It will be in the fall. Mother wants all the kids to be part of it. Posy's her maid of honor."

"Are you going to start calling Haymitch Dad?"

"Hell no!" He laughed. "So how are things going there?"

Peeta sat on the end of the couch and pulled Katniss's feet onto his lap.

"Pretty good. Peeta has a new leg he's trying out. And my mother has a boyfriend."

"Did you just say your mother has a boyfriend?"

"Yeah, you heard right." She sighed. "He's Peeta's doctor. And he seems to really care about Mother."

Peeta pulled off Katniss's shoes and started massaging her feet. She smiled at him as she continued to talk to her friend about her mother and the new boyfriend. Gale was sympathetic, having been through a mother dating later in life.

"But, you know, she has just as much right to happiness as you." He offered.

"And I never said she didn't. I know she does. More than anyone. Well, not your mother. She's waited just as long."

"She has. And you say she looks like she's happy. So don't worry about it."

"I'm not. Not really." She sighed and moved to lean against Peeta. "How are Annie and the kids?"

"Great. Everyone's great. Mags is growing so much. You need to come see her. Come see us. You can stop by on your way back to Twelve." He suggested.

"Maybe. I'll talk to my lovely husband here and see what he has to say about that. But I think he will jump at the chance to play with your daughter."

"Good. Then we'll plan to see you in a few days."

"Katniss and Peeta are coming?" Finn asked from the background.

Katniss laughed. "Well, I guess we have to go now. I'll let you know."

She hung up the phone after a few more words. She reached over and put the phone up. "What do you say?" She asked.

"Definitely." He said as he pinned her to the couch.

"Finn is calling Gale Dad now." She said, reaching up to comb her finger through his hair.

"Is that so?" He kissed her.

"Mm." She stared into his eyes. "Why are you so handsome?"

He smiled. "I don't know. Why are you so beautiful?"

She smiled back. "I don't know."

He kissed her again. "So when can we try again?"

"Peeta…"

"We are going to try, right? You won't give up on me?"

"I don't know." She moved from under him. "Why is that all you worry about? We don't need children. We love each other, right?"

"Of course, sweetheart." He stood and reached out for her, but she stepped out of his reach.

"So why do we need children? Am I not enough for you?"

"That's not the point. Are you scared you'll lose every baby we conceive?"

"Yeah, actually, I am. And why not? What have I done in my life to deserve anything else? What have you done?"

"You saved a lot of people."

"I killed a lot of people. And what if it all starts up again?"

"What if what starts up again?"

"The Games. The oppression. Fearing for our lives, wondering where our next meal is coming from."

"You never have to worry about that. We have plenty and we always will. You know how to hunt for crying out loud. That works for all those things. And they would never start the Games again. You saw to that."

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. I'm scared. I'm always scared." She looked around helplessly. "Everything keeps going. Everyone is moving on with their lives. But I'm stuck in all those old fears." She shook her head. "I know you want it, but the more I think about it, the more I think we should just abandon the idea." She turned and walked into the bedroom.

Peeta walked into the room as she changed for bed. He watched her unspeaking.

"What are you going to say?" she demanded.

"That I don't understand you. You were alright with this. We were going to do this. Even after you lost the baby, you said we'd try again. But now you don't want to. What the hell am I supposed to think, Katniss? What am I supposed to do?"

"Divorce me? Find some woman that can give you children? That's willing to do it?"

"And what would I do with some other woman's children? I married you because I love you, Katniss. It's not about children. Yeah, I want them desperately, but if I don't have you, I have nothing." He made a fist and pounded it gently on the door frame. "To hell with all of it. You don't want them? Fine, I'll stop talking about it. And if you mention it, I'm going to walk out of the room. In fact," he walked over to the bed and picked up a pillow. "I'm sleeping on the couch. Goodnight."

"Don't do this, Peeta." She begged.

He said nothing.

She stood in the doorway and watched as he settled on the couch, facing away from her. She turned angrily and slammed the door. She threw herself across the bed, fighting the frustrated tears.

Sometime in the night, as Katniss tossed and turned, Peeta walked into the room. He got into the bed.

"I can't sleep on that damn couch." He draped an arm over her.

She hooked a leg over his and finally relaxed into sleep.

Peeta sat up and watched Katniss sleep for a while longer before he got up and started dressing. He called room service to send up breakfast for them. He scratched his mussed hair and turned back to the bedroom.

Katniss stood there. "When do you go back to the doctor?"

"Tomorrow morning." He leaned against the back of the couch. "What do you want to do today?"

She shrugged. "You have any ideas?"

"I'd like to visit the memorial. We haven't done that yet. Check on the progress. Pay our respects. And I'm sure all the paparazzi are watching for us to do it."

She sighed. "Peeta…"

"Or we could just stay in."

"It's not… Okay. We'll go."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I thought you said you didn't want to talk about it anymore?" she accused.

"Well, I don't want to upset you. And I don't like you angry with me."

"Peeta…" She walked over to him and placed her hands on his shoulders. "I'm not angry." She slid her hands down his arms and gripped his hands. "I don't think there's anything else I can say to let you see my position on this. I've given you every reason I have a thousand times."

"And I've given you mine just as many times." He kissed her. "I'm fine with whatever you want."

"Don't just fold like that." She stepped away.

"What do you want from me?" he was defeated.

"I—"

She was cut off by a knock at the door. Peeta opened it and ushered in the food he'd ordered. Katniss stood silently as he spoke with the young woman who had brought the tray. He smiled and sent her on her way.

He turned back to his wife. "Are we finishing this?"

She chewed on her lip. "What I want from you is for you to not just say, 'whatever you want, sweetheart.' Like you do every time I say something against you."

He nodded. "Okay. We'll take it one step at a time. We can't even do it right now, it's still too early. When the possibility comes around again, if you want to bring it up for discussion, you do that. I'll try to keep my mouth shut about it for a while because I really have been hounding you about it. And I'm sorry."

"I like the way that sounds." She said softly. "Okay. I can do that."

"Good." Peeta walked over to his wife and placed a hand on her cheek. "I love you, Katniss."

"I love you, too, Peeta."

They shared a kiss and then Katniss stepped away. "What did you order? I'm starving."

Peeta and Katniss stood silently at the memorial wall with their hands clasped between them. Katniss reached out and ran her hands over a name. "Primrose Everdeen" it read. Peeta squeezed her hand.

They moved down the wall and barely registered most of the names. They'd read them several times as the wall was put together. They stopped again, this time beside "Finnick Odair."

Peeta said, "Do you think Annie will bring Finn now that it's complete?"

"They still have a few finishing touches. And the ceremony is still months away." She turned to him. "And she has Gale and Maggie to think about now. Gale helps her deal with the madness and depression."

He nodded. He kissed her nose. "You help me with that. Did you know? You're the only reason I've been able to go on sometimes."

"You're the only reason I've been able to go on. I lost so much."

He nodded, "I know."

"Can we go back to the hotel now? I can't be here anymore."

"Yeah, of course."

A few people stopped them to tell them how happy they were for the pair to be visiting. Peeta briefly spoke to them while Katniss stood stonily at his side. They moved on, only to be stopped by a woman with a recorder who said she was a reporter.

Peeta once again spoke for the both of them even when Katniss was asked a direct question. He knew this would probably trigger a nightmare tonight. He could already feel the stress of it affecting his own mind.

"We're hopeful that the final stages of the memorial will go off without a hitch and that the ceremony will be as beautiful and touching as the ten year anniversary almost two years ago." He smiled and nodded and then led Katniss away.

He waved at others, but didn't let them detain him. He hailed a taxi so that they didn't have to see anyone else.

At the hotel, Katniss went to the bedroom and stretched out on the bed. "Come join me?" She asked.

Without a word, he walked in and climbed in beside her. He pulled her into his arms.

"Being around things like that always takes away my energy. I'm sorry I made you do all the talking."

"It's fine. I'm better with words anyway." He teased.

"Always able to think on your toes." She agreed. She moved closer to him. "I need a nap."

"Me too. We don't have anything else to do."

She kissed him. She rubbed her hand up and down his back slowly. Her eyes drooped and she fell asleep.