and here, after god knows how long, is the chapter. and plz don't ask why i haven't updated, i don't feel like explaining. (and NO it was not my editor's fault, sort of)

Chapter 26 -- I Wish

'I wish I could be strong enough for all of them, so they would never have to worry about me, not anymore.'

I looked back over to Ichijo, he wasn't looking at me anymore, instead, he was staring at the window, the pale moonlight giving his skin an ivory glow. 'He looks so different from before...'

"Tenma?"

I blinked. "Nani?"

He smiled, and stifled a laugh, "it's nothing, you had just spaced out for a few. I was getting worried." he said, worry evident in his eyes.

I frowned, " why are you worrying about me? It's not like I'm dying."

His eyes changed, but I hated this look even more, pain. "Don't talk about yourself like that, Tenma."

I mentally slapped myself, I was hurting him again, I'm always hurting them! It's my fault... "You're better off..." I trailed off, unaware that I wasn't actually speaking.

Ichijo gave me a questioning look.

"You're better off just staying away from me! Forget what you said, just stay away! You'll be safer without me...I'm they're target, not any of you! Just stay away...please...I don't want any of you to hurt anymore..." I said, fresh tears welled up in my eyes.

Ichijo put his hand under my chin, forcing me to look at him. "No, I'm sorry… I can't do what you ask Tenma. I'll say it no matter how many times you don't want me to." he used his other hand to wipe the tears that started spilling over my cheeks.

"Tenma, do you remember what you said at the lake? You said, "be happy," well, here I am, I'm with you and I'm happy." he said.

The moon went back out from the clouds, showering my room in moonlight once more. I saw so many emotions in his eyes.

I was choking on my sobs, and I couldn't stop them anymore. I buried my face into his chest, my hands grasping his shirt. Sobs racking my body. I felt warm arms wrap around me, but it only made the sobs worse. How could he do this to me so easily? How could he break all resolve I had?!

"Tenma, no matter what happens, I won't stay away, I don't care what happens to me-"

"Baka!" I shouted, my face still buried in his chest, my tears soaking through the soft cloth. "Mou, iendarou..."(that's enough) I sobbed, my eyes clenched shut.

Those warm arms that held me so closely had let go, and it felt so cold for some reason. "It's so cold..." I tried to pull away, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. Instead, I just looked up. His eyes were closed, and his breathing even, and I could see fatigue evident on his features.

I gently brought my hand up, and wiped his hair away, without him sturring a bit. "He looks so peaceful..." I said quietly, stroking the side of his face with my fingertips.

But then, his arm coiled around my waist, and he laid back, and in the process, I ended up with my head on his chest (again) and the rest of me laying beside him, his arm still wrapped around me.

"Let...go..." I said quietly, trying to get out of his grip, it didn't work. I sighed, "...I bet you're enjoying this, aren't you?" I said sarcastically, giving up, and getting at least somewhat comfortable.

"Every time I try to say this to you, something happens, and I can't say it, I know you can't hear me, but i wish...that I could say I loved you too." I said, gently kissing him on the cheek, and getting comfortable once more, unaware that my wish just came true.


-Ichijo's POV-

Sleep was escaping me, and I was confused as to why. But then I heard soft sweet words whispered to me, and I felt my heart smile at it. I then felt soft lips on my cheek, they were hers. But they left just as quick. I felt her hands still holding onto my shirt, her breathing still uneven.

I gave up on my attempt of sleep, and opened my eyes. I was still in her room, and when I looked down, I saw my arms around her waist, her head still resting on my chest., her cheeks still stained with tears.

I sat up, trying not to disturb her sleeping form, and wiped the tears from her eyes. She looked so pale. I lightly touched her shoulder to check the bandages. They were soaked in blood. I gently removed her arm from the sleeve, and undid the bandages. The blood had soaked through them too, there was caked blood around the wound.

I left the room, and came back with a cloth, and bandages. As I cleaned the blood, I heard several small cries. "Sh...it's fine..." I said quietly, stroking her hair softly with my free hand, hoping it would provide at least some comfort.

After I finished, I put away everything and laid her down under the blanket. I wanted to say she would be fine, but the words wouldn't leave my lips.

Just then a knock sounded throughout the room. "Tenma? Are you ok? I smelt blood just now..." kilo opened the door, her eyes worried.

"How's she doing?" Kilo asked quietly upon noticing her sleeping friend.

My head lowered. "I don't know, she passed out a little while ago." I answered. "And you smelled the blood because I changed the bandages."

"Why?" she asked. "I'd just changed them a little while ago..."

"They were soaked through with her blood, Kilo. And there was blood caked around the wound." I said, clenching my fists.

"Ichi...please...tell me you're lying..."

"Why would I lie?" I asked, clenching my hands tighter.

"Because that's how she was when I changed them."

"..." I didn't reply. I felt anger pulse through me. I couldn't believe this! Why do these people have so much against her?!

"You know...she'd be really sad now, if she saw you..."

I blinked, and unclenched my fists, my hands were bleeding.

"Yeah, I know."

she sat down at the end of the bed, gazing at Tenma's sleeping face.

"How can she look so peaceful, with all the pain she's in?" I asked Kilo, my eyes glued to the window.

"A person's true self is said to be revealed while in slumber, where they can't lie to themselves or others." Kilo said quietly, her focus now on me.

"But, she's-"

"Physical pain is second nature to her Ichijo. Tenma hurts most when those around her pain their hearts over it. That's why she always says she's alright. Because it only makes her worse to see a persons pained eyes." Kilo explained. "It hurts her heart, and puts her deeper into the dark. It hurts her more to see one of us to shed a single tear, than to be shot with a hunter's gun."

"Why?" was all I could say.

"She wants to stop it, that's why she pushes you away. She can't stand to see someone she cares about hurt. It's the only way she knows how."

Realization struck me, my eyes widened. "That's why..."

"She can't say she loves you." Kilo finished, sighing. "But you knew that already, didn't you?"

"She said it earlier, but I thought I was dreaming." I said, looking back at Tenma.

"That's another reason why she stayed, even with that bastard always putting her down. She doesn't like seeing other people hurt, especially when she knows she can do something about it."

A dry cough sounded off the walls of the room, and the two of us directed our attention to Tenma's bed, where she currently lay, eyes half open.

"Hi, Sleepy Head!" Kilo said happily, giving her friend a warm smile.

"YoZ," Tenma answered groggily raising a hand, but it fell right back down, limply.

'She did loose far too much blood,' I thought.

"I didn't! I'm just dizzy and tired, so shut up." She said glaring.

"Why are you dizzy?"

"I..." she trailed off, her eyes not meeting ours.

"What?" Kilo asked.

"Nothing..." Tenma said, turning her head to gaze out the window. Her jaw tightened. "My shoulder hurts..." she said quietly, her gaze still on the window.

"Then sit up, and I'll check the wound." Kilo said, going to the batn ihroom to grab some bandages and cleaning items.

I looked back at Tenma, she hadn't moved.

"Before she gets back, Ichijo, can you help me sit up?" Tenma asked, looking up at me.

"Sure," I said, gently setting her up, but only for her to fall back onto the pillows. "Are you ok?" I asked, pulling her back into a sitting position, only to have her fall back again.

Her eyes widened, "What happened to your hands? They're bleeding." she said, extending a shaking hand.

"It's nothing much. Just...nevermind." I said, folding my hands, hiding them from her eyes.

"I'm back!" Kilo shouted.

"Welcome back," Tenma said, giving her friend a weak smile.

"I don't like that smile, art you sure you're okay?" Kilo said, sitting next to her friend, and removing Tenma's arm from the sleeve. "Why is it still open?" Kilo asked quietly, "shouldn't it have healed?"

"It's because the poison is keeping the wound open." Tenma said, not looking at Kilo.

"Well, what can make it heal?" Kilo asked.

"Wait, I thought Kotoru healed it," I said, confusion evident in my tone.

"No, he stopped the poison's effects, not the damage," Tenma corrected, looking at me.

"But you've still got some healing powers shouldn't-"

"I was shot with a hunter's gun, Kilo." Tenma said. "My healing powers aren't working."

"Can't you make them work?!" Kilo nearly shouted, tears brimming in her eyes.

"No."

"Can't we help?"

"No."

"I should've know you'd say that," Kilo said sadly.

"Sorry," Tenma said, giving her friend a sad smile.

Kilo turned to leave, but paused. "I hope you get better, Tenma."

Tenma looked up, a downcast atmosphere surrounding her. "I'll try."

She smiled. "'Kay," and with that, she left.