Here we are again! Whipped this out in one sitting just for you guys!
Thank you all so much for being patient with me while I get settled back at school.
Hope this makes up for the shortness of last chapter :)

Enjoy!

Chapter 12

What are we going to do?

It was all Derek could think as he trudged dejectedly back down the stairs. He had been hoping to be able to supply his mother with better news than he actually had to offer on the status if her youngest daughter. Well that obviously wasn't going to happen this morning.

Meredith and Carolyn were still seated in front of empty breakfast plates, chatting quietly when he re-entered to the kitchen.

Derek placed a gentle kiss on the crown of Meredith's head before collapsing in the chair beside her with a sorrowful look.

"She didn't want to talk to me. I left the food up there too but I can't guarantee she'll touch it."

"Did she say anything?" asked Carolyn, desperation lingering in her tone.

"She feels alone. And she blames herself for Ryan's death so she thinks she deserves it. I think it's going to take awhile before she's going to allow any of us to help her."

Carolyn sighed deeply and stared into her half empty mug. Her baby was hurting and there was nothing she could do about it.

Silence lingered over the table, no one really knowing what to say. Derek's hand absentmindedly rubbed tiny circles across the base of Meredith's neck, her mere presence offering more comfort to him than she would know.

The shill sound of a cell phone ringing pierced through the small kitchen causing the three inhabitants to jump in alarm.

Suddenly remembering she was still in her clothes from the day before (therefore still having her phone on her), Meredith rose quickly to fish her phone from her jean pocket.

"It's Janet," Meredith announced, slightly breathless.

"Hello?" she answered as she hastily made her way through the sliding glass door to the small patio connected to the house. No sense in Derek and Carolyn halting their conversation about Amelia on her account.

"Janet?" Carolyn questioned to Derek.

"Our social worker. The one in charge of Zola's case."

"Oh yes. I remember Meredith mentioning her now. And Zola is definitely yours? It's official?"

"Not technically official yet. Still some final paperwork to sign, which is probably what Janet is calling for actually. But for all intents and purposes, she is ours." It didn't matter what else was happening. The mention of Zola never failed to leave him grinning like an idiot.

"I'm proud of you, Derek. I've always thought you'd be a wonderful father. I'm so glad it's finally happening for you. Meredith, too."

"I just can't wait for her to be home."

"You better bring her for a visit as soon as you can," Carolyn warned with a sly smirk.

"Don't worry, we will. I know you'll just come see us yourself if you think we're taking too long anyway."

"Damn right I will. I need to spoil her just as I have every grandchild your sisters have given me."

"Don't worry, Mom," Derek chuckled. "We wouldn't dream of begrudging you that."

All laugher came to an abrupt halt as a shadow appeared in the doorway.

Amelia stood cautiously, lingering in the threshold that joined the hallway and the kitchen. She was still dressed in an enormous grey hoodie that swallowed her tiny frame and a pair of black leggings. Her stance reminded Derek of frightened animal, ready to bolt at the first sign of conflict.

"Amelia, darling?" Carolyn asked softly.

"I just wanted to sit outside for a while." Her tone was just as void of emotion as it was before. Her face gave nothing away either. Her eyes were flat, her face was pale, and her mouth was set in a thin line when she wasn't speaking.

"That's great, dear. Fresh air will do you good," praised Carolyn with as much optimism as she could muster.

Without as much as glance back towards her mother or brother, Amelia slowly walked out to the patio.

"So you'll supply the notary?" Meredith confirmed as she and Janet were wrapping up their phone call.

"And we'll be able to take her home with us right after?...Amazing. Great. Derek and I are really looking forward to this...Okay, yes. See you next Monday at 3:30...Thank you. Thank you so much, Janet...You too...Okay, bye."

After hanging up her call, Meredith leaned back in her lounge chair with a huge sigh of relief. Their baby would officially be theirs in a mere week's time. She decided to allow herself a few seconds to enjoy the moment before going inside to bring Derek up to speed as she heard the sliding door open and someone join her on the deck.

Assuming it was Derek checking up on her, she kept her eyes closed and stayed relaxed against the comfortable lounge chair.

"She'll be ours at 3:30, next Monday," she announced to who she assumed to be her husband.

"Who will be?"

The voice that answered her was distinctly sad, monotone, and clearly not her husband's. She immediately whipped her head to attention to face her mystery person.

"Amelia?" Meredith cringed at her inability to hide her surprise.

"I didn't know anyone was out here. I can go."

"No! Don't!" Meredith insisted as her sister-in law turned to leave the deck. "You really don't have to. I just came out here to take a phone call. I can go back inside if you wanted to be alone."

"It's a free country," Amelia stated plainly. "Just as long as you don't expect me to be good company or tell you all about my consuming heartache, you can do what you want," she finished, bitterness seeping into her otherwise flat tone. She hugged her knees into her chest after plopping herself down into the other lounge chair.

"We don't need to talk," Meredith concluded gently. Just the fact that Amelia was allowing someone to be around her was probably a good sign. Meredith knew from experience that the simple act of just having someone next to you can be comforting.

Making herself comfortable, Meredith stretched her legs out in front of her, flexing the strain out of her ankles.

"So who were you talking about?"

Meredith wasn't even sure Amelia had spoken. Her legs were still being hugged to her chest and her chin was resting on her knees. Her expression was vacant as she stared straight ahead at the expansive yard before them. But she did indeed speak. And Meredith wasn't about to ignore her.

"Derek and I are adopting," she said quickly. "A little girl. We've been trying to make it official for awhile now and there was a small time where we thought it wasn't going to happen but on Monday we get to sign the final papers and bring her home."

"What's her name?" Amelia asked, still not looking up.

"Zola. She an orphan brought over from Africa with Spina Bifida. We found her because Derek was the one to put in her shunt. We had been trying to have a baby for almost a year and weren't having any luck but then we met her and…I don't know. It felt right."

Amelia didn't ask any more questions and Meredith, not wanting to push conversation on her, didn't ask any of her own, allowing silence to fall between them once again.

"You don't have to talk to me, you know," Amelia finally spoke again. "You don't have to feel like you have to sit here and talk to Derek's messed up little sister out of some weird obligation."

"I don't feel obligated," Meredith assured sadly. "Plus, I'm the last person that would be allowed to judge anyone on being messed up."

"Pff, why?" Amelia scoffed. "You kill you fiancé too?"

"No, but neither did you."

Tears started to slowly leak out of the corners of Amelia's eyes as she still refused to look anywhere except straight out in front of her.

"Have you ever," Amelia let out with a small sob, "Have you ever just stopped and thought 'What's the point'?"

The tears were coming faster now.

"What the hell is the point of all of this when Dads get shot and fiancés die without any sort of warning? What the hell is the damn point?"

The scene in front of her was breaking Meredith's heart. The woman in the chair beside her was lost, confused, and broken. Three feelings Meredith knew all too well.

"What's the fucking point?" Amelia sobbed again.

"You can't think like that," Meredith said soothingly. "I know that when life is constantly handing you nothing but crap, it's so easy to want to give up. But believe me, I learned the hard way that that line of thinking is what's going to kill you. Not any amount of drinking or pills or bad choices. It's how easily you're willing to give up."

Amelia's sobbing worsened to the point where Meredith was concerned she'd start hyperventilating or pass out.

"I miss him," Amelia sobbed even harder. "All the time I miss him. I close my eyes, I see his face. I go to sleep and I dream of the future I almost had. I don't know what the hell to do anymore."

Meredith moved quickly over to Amelia's chair and sat next to her, placing a comforting hand on her knee.

Surprising both women, Amelia immediately leant into her touch seeking more comfort before ending up resting her head against Meredith's shoulder and allowing her to wrap her in her arms.

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